The first Christmas as an orphan really sucks.

[Ember]

I've tried, I really have, to find some holiday spirit this year. But it's been hard, and today I find myself with none. Thankfully, it's just DH and I, so there's no one to pretend for. I will be glad to see to tomorrow.

 

[Pixiedust34]

 

[bicker]

I'm sorry for your loss. I would warn again, though, considering yourself an orphan (even though pedantically it may be correct). I suspect you have many wonderful memories of time shared with your parents - treasure those. They're gems that many actual orphans have no analog for. And remember also that our parents, though they may have passed on, still live within us. I know my mother especially has left an indelible imprint on me.

Best wishes.

 

[krcit]

I'm so sorry Ember. Try to hold onto your memories and remember that your parents would want you to be happy. The first Christmas after my dad died was so hard but we celebrated like he would have wanted.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

 

[Jennn]

No words...but you're in thoughts and prayers today. Be kind to yourself today.

 

[DebbieB]

This is my 6th Christmas as an "orphan" and unfortunately it doesn't get much easier. What always sticks in my mind is on Christmas Eve 2004, after we had the family dinner and we were cleaning up, my mom said "you don't know how it feels knowing this is my last Christmas" (she had been battling breast cancer since 1996). I said "you don't know that", she said "yes I do". She was right.... I still have the Christmas Eve dinner for my brothers and their families but when I'm cleaning up after they leave, I always think of that. Last night I was crying as I was doing dishes.

 

[Brit17]

 

[minniecarousel]

I guess I'm lucky in having 6 of my 7 siblings coming to my house today. It'll be hard on all of us, not having Mom here.

Hang in there, OP. I recall all that you did for your Mom. It appears that you did all you could and shouldn't have any regrets. (although, I play the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" game all the time).

 

[WDWBarb]

I'm so sorry But you have to remember that what our parents wanted most out of life was for us to be happy. I have no fear of dying, but I'm horrified by how sad my DD will be when I am gone. The greatest gift she could give to me (even when I'm no longer around) would be to carry on with family traditions and remember me with smiles and laughter and not to be sad that I am gone, but joyful that I lived and had so many good memories with her.

I know you're sad, and you have every right to be, but try and bring some happiness to your day - it's what they would have wanted.

DH's mom and dad have been gone for 16 years now, but we always talk about them as we put up the tree (many of our ornaments are from my MIL) and share stories and memories about them.

 

[disney1990]

I've tried, I really have, to find some holiday spirit this year. But it's been hard, and today I find myself with none. Thankfully, it's just DH and I, so there's no one to pretend for. I will be glad to see to tomorrow.

Yes, this year will be rough. But, create special things for your and your DH. You can pretend for each other. DH and still fill each other's stockings and continue to surprise each other at Christmas time. Find a tradition just for the 2 of you - go see Christmas lights, buy presents for Toys for Tots, pick a name or two from one of the Angel Trees.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am so sorry. Sending and extra hug to you.

DH is having the same experience this year. He seems to be holding up o.k. DD10 said this was the best Christmas ever, except that Papa isn't here.

 

[Planogirl]

I really miss my Dad this time of year. He loved the holidays. I also miss my grandmothers since their birthdays were on Christmas Eve and the day before Christmas Eve. Things have really changed a lot for us.

It will always feel strange and sad but not as bad as time goes on.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Aw, I'm so sorry you're feeling sad. Do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it!

 

[bumbershoot]

 

[eliza61]

I've tried, I really have, to find some holiday spirit this year. But it's been hard, and today I find myself with none. Thankfully, it's just DH and I, so there's no one to pretend for. I will be glad to see to tomorrow.

Ember, I lost my dad this May. My mom passed when I was younger. it is a bittersweet celebration but as Bicker said, I treasure the memories of fabulous Christmases with my parents.

After all the toys and gifts are over, those memories are the true gifts that we get. I thank God daily that I had a great childhood with loving parents and a loving extended family.

 

[7165red]

Just look at your DH and be thankful you have him in your life.

 

[beattyfamily]

I know exactly how you are feeling, OP. My mother died suddenly in October of lung/bone cancer, in my arms.

Lots of family (sister) drama and that day so I also lost 2 sisters.

This has been a tough Christmas but thank God for my husband and my 2 girls. That's what truely matters. I'd be lost without them.

This is my first Christmas ever spent in my own home. We had a yummy dinner and some treats I baked. I tried to make it special.

I know it will get better, each day and I just thank God for all the blessings I do have.

Blessings to you OP that it will get easier for you each day.

 

[brenalexacamp]

me too! and I cried on and off today- what set me off was the disney parade! so much sickness with in-laws, these last few months and we just lost our home too on the 15th. If my father was here, he would NEVER let that happen! I cannot wait until New Years is over!!

 

[wdwmom2]

I know exactly how you are feeling, OP. My mother died suddenly in October of lung/bone cancer, in my arms.

I know the feeling. My dear mom died in my arms from lung/bone cancer. That was in 1995. My dad died 2 months before that. I found him laying in his bed with a TV remote in one hand and the other hand in a bag of chips. That was the most HORRIBLE year for me ever.


OP, I do understand your pain, and it is sure nothing I would wish on anyone. But one day, all your happy memories will overcome the pain you are feeling now. I still have sad moments here and there. But I have sooo many great memories. Gosh I had wonderful parents!

Let it out, it is okay to cry.