The first Christmas as an orphan really sucks.

[Holly]

 

[mrsstats]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the feeling of being an orphan. It was the first thing I said when my mother died. Thankfully I do have DS & DB to spend the holidays with as well as DH.

 

[ptcruisermom]

This too is my first Christmas as an "orphan". Since my divorce 5.5 years ago I have spent Christmas lunch with my mom, while my 3 kids went to their other g-parents. the last tow years we would go out and have chinese. The kids and I celebrated yesterday. I would bring her back to her assisted living apartment and I would go home for a couple hours, then back to her apartment where my 4 siblings would show up. Sadly mom passed away suddenly on April 1. My kids left for their g-parents at 12:15 and aren't home yet with my blessing(I will not begrudge the time with them as one only knows how long they will be around). The kids and I celebrated last night. So just the dog and I at home today, I did fix a nice meal for myself ham loaf mashed pot. dressing, fresh corn and noodles. My sister did ask me to come for the morning with her family hey would be leaving for her DS side at around 1. she lives 1.5 hour away, I declined as I didn't' really want to drive. as for my other 3 siblings no one asked, I would have declined but it is the principle of the matter. the past 2 years I also had a friend who asked me to come over for a bit, which I did 2 years ago, but no invite this year, maybe because I didn't' go last year I watched some movies read a book, went thru some papers and took a nap. I have all my Christmas lights and tree on. had some tears early this morning, but for the most my mom and dad wouldn't want me to be said. mom was 91 when she passed and lived a full life and was in decent health. Hugs to you and all other "orphans" experiencing their first Christmas without their parents(you are never too old to miss them)

 

[Val]

I lost my dad in '93, lost my mom just before Thanksgiving 09, and lost my husband of almost 25 years from a massive heart attack on 10/10/10. At least all 4 of my kids were home- one has graduated from college and brought her fiance, DD19 is a college frosh, and DS15 and DD13 are still at home. I have had to learn to be an orphan and a single parent in just a year. At least I managed to cook a decent Christmas dinner and the girls did the dishes. Now I am just sitting here wishing my DH was still with us. It would have been our 25th wedding anniversary on 12/28. We had saved a bottle of wine his cousin brewed for us for our wedding. I served it tonight at Christmas dinner....but it should have been opened on Tuesday with DH!

It sucks to be both an orphan and a widow. But at least I am still a mom!

 

[Abbie]

I lost my dad in '93, lost my mom just before Thanksgiving 09, and lost my husband of almost 25 years from a massive heart attack on 10/10/10. At least all 4 of my kids were home- one has graduated from college and brought her fiance, DD19 is a college frosh, and DS15 and DD13 are still at home. I have had to learn to be an orphan and a single parent in just a year. At least I managed to cook a decent Christmas dinner and the girls did the dishes. Now I am just sitting here wishing my DH was still with us. It would have been our 25th wedding anniversary on 12/28. We had saved a bottle of wine his cousin brewed for us for our wedding. I served it tonight at Christmas dinner....but it should have been opened on Tuesday with DH!

It sucks to be both an orphan and a widow. But at least I am still a mom!

I am so sorry, you have sustained a lot of loss.

I'm sorry for everyone who has a reason to feel sad today!

 

[englishteacha]

We lost my mother-in-law 7 years ago today. Such a difficult Christmas. We lost my father in Sept. 2007. We love Christmas, but there are definitely tough moments. DH doesn't have a good relationship with his dad. When DH's mom was sick, she asked my mom to help look after him. We were only 22-23 when she passed away, just recently married. It was a really tough holiday season the next year.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I am so sorry to those of you who have lost spouses/parents. I always spent my Christmas with my ex-boyfriend even after we broke up (we were still best friends.) Last January, he contracted a staph infection and ended up paralyzed and I ended up moving to find a job (I have a great job and great co-workers now.) I spent it with my best friend from work but it wasn't the same and never will be again.

 

[KellyWasHere]

 

[Patricia]

The most important thing for me is to allow myself to feel that sadness. It is real, it is the dominant feeling for the moment. There are the key words, " for the moment." It doesn't feel like it, but it will pass. You will always have those pangs of pain; they come with the love you feel. If you did not have the feelings of loss and mourning, it would mean you lacked the love and attachment. Each one of those punches in the stomach are a sign of the love you shared. But, there is a tomorrow. You will feel better and you need to know that. My parents passed 10 weeks apart and I spent the next 12 years carving a happy life with my family and my sister's family. Three years ago, I lost that only sister to breast cancer, she was 42. I thought there would never be a happy day. I am truly all alone, not one surving member of my family alive. But... I pushed on for our children and I keep trying to make happy memories for all of us. Some days are so, so hard. This year in particular was difficult, don't know why. But the days pass, and I feel ok again. You will be ok. It's not easy but you will be ok. I am praying for you!

 

[antmaril]

I lost my dad in '93, lost my mom just before Thanksgiving 09, and lost my husband of almost 25 years from a massive heart attack on 10/10/10. At least all 4 of my kids were home- one has graduated from college and brought her fiance, DD19 is a college frosh, and DS15 and DD13 are still at home. I have had to learn to be an orphan and a single parent in just a year. At least I managed to cook a decent Christmas dinner and the girls did the dishes. Now I am just sitting here wishing my DH was still with us. It would have been our 25th wedding anniversary on 12/28. We had saved a bottle of wine his cousin brewed for us for our wedding. I served it tonight at Christmas dinner....but it should have been opened on Tuesday with DH!

It sucks to be both an orphan and a widow. But at least I am still a mom!

I'm sorry for your losses. I, too, am an orphan and a widow. I lost my mother in 1982, my dad in 2002 and my husband of 34 years in 2008 (to pancreatic cancer). I have one son, who lives with me and is attending nursing school. We spent Christmas Eve together. I'm lucky to have him.

 

[aml3679]

Sorry for your loss(es), I know how you feel, I am also an orphan.

I grew up in New York, my husband is from New Hampshire. Back in 2001, our oldest daughter was graduating from college in December. I told my DH that I wanted to go home for Christmas - I had not been in 13 years. So, he flew home and I flew to NY. My Dad was in remission from Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I did not tell them I was coming home - it was a huge surprise. My Dad looked so ill - I had to leave Christmas night. Christmas morning he was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. I kissed him good-bye and told him I loved him that night - not knowing it would be the last time I ever saw him. He died 17 days later from a pulmonary embolism. I was shocked.

For years after that Christmas was very sad for me. A few years later I lost my Mother followed by my mother-in-law.

In 2008, my oldest daughter surprised us with a big bow on her pregnant belly only to miscarry 6 months later.

The same year, my 28 year old niece lost her battle with a brain tumor.

Last year, my husband and I decided to have a holiday party for his work. We had a good time and I started to get my holiday spirit back. In July of this year, our daughter who lost our first grandson gave birth to another boy - he is a very happy 5 month old now.

I still miss getting together as a big family. My dad loved the holidays. Our grandparents are gone. Both of my parents are gone. My father-in-law lives in Florida and is remarried. My Mom was sick for a long time and I miss her a lot. My Dad was never sick and not a holiday goes by that I don't shed a little tear or two.

 

[Anna114]

Last year was my first year as an "orphan" I lost both parents 3 months apart. It really was no easier this year. I thought the firsts would be the hardest. This year sucked too. I wish I had better words for you but I am truly sorry for your loss.