The fine line between crazy and insane....kickin' asphalt on the way to Goofy '08

[AmyBeth68]

Thanks for all the support guys . I really appreciate! And I REALLY appreciate that you listen to my bragging in that other post. I hate to do that...but it was a really proud moment .

Soooo....that brings us to my training for the past two days. No runs....both were scheduled to be XT which is great in terms of letting my aches and pains subside LOL! That's the problem with getting old..you can still DO the activities....but you better believe you are gonna' PAY!

Friday: 60 min. pilates circuit. GREAT workout..I was the only one in class so I got a private personal session! How cool is that? Well it's totally cool until you realize you will work your butt off when there is nobody else there LOL! Was a solid workout! I was supposed to do 30 ski machine, but it didn't pan out as I was preparing for 15 children to invade my house for the Brownie meeting I was running. Doesn't that count as XT???

Saturday: 60 min. pilates mat followed by 30 min. ski machine. Both were solid workouts and although I was feeling a bit sore when I woke up,having done both of those earlier in the day really stretched me out and helped take the stiffness away .

Tomorrow is my scheduled long run...it's a very moderate 5 mile run. So nothing to worry about!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!!!

 

[kimwim8]

Hey Amy. Nice job with the XT the past 2 days! I hope you have an awesome run tomorrow. Hopefully the weather will clear up for ya. If not, go for that zen run. Go get 'em, girl!

Oh, and 15 girls in your brownie troop? That counts as DOUBLE XT!

 

[ScoJo15]

Hi Amy

Great job on the XT!! And a private personal session....hmmm....nm....

Seriously...awesome job with those workouts. You've had an incredibly busy span of days there and to get everything accomplished, yet still get your workouts in is really amazing. You should feel very proud of yourself!!

GOOD LUCK with the run this morning!! I had to get out there early and mine went really smooth, so here's sending some of that good karma your way And I sure do hope the weather cooperates, looks like it could be raining up there....rain is cool, but not when you want to focus on a nice long run.

I'll be looking forward to seeing how you did today! I hope you have a great day!!

 

[AmyBeth68]

So today was another 5 Mile long run. Should have been an easy run....the distance is short, I was running on the nice flat trail and the weather finally cooperated. Unfortunately, as I've said before, running is unpredictable. I started off thinking that the stars were aligned for a comfortable and successful run. But after half a mile I knew it would be a battle. It literally felt like I was running with the weight of the world on my shoulders, or maybe just a few dozen bricks . At about this time my inner zen runner took off for a yoga retreat or a meditation seminar or something and left me alone with the old demons, who happily stuck with me the remaining 4.5 miles .

I simply couldn't get comfortable in my stride, breathing was a struggle and little aches and pains haunted me the entire time. Meanwhile my brain went into overdrive questioning and complaining and wanting to quit. The "demons" are like bullies, taunting me to stop and telling me things like "you'll never be a good runner", "what exactly are you trying to prove" and "you are running so slow you might as well walk, or better yet just quit and go back to your car".

I suppose I should be proud that I can shake them off or ignore them enough to keep going. My run wasn't particularly slow, not for ME anyway, a solid 10:10 is respectable right? The run was faster than last week but lacked any sense of joy. Heck, I would have settled for total indifference lol. Not that I've ever been in a place where I go out there and fall in stride and simply zone out. I envy people that can do that....they appear to effortlessly glide through the miles and post impressive times and feel great afterwards. I guess there's a part of me that feels I deserve to be in that place now...a year of running, I've taken my lumps, why can't my body adjust to running and allow me to enjoy it more? I just want to feel successful...feel like I've improved the way everyone else has improved. At least I usually get an endorphin rush after a good workout. But today I just sat down on a bench, head in hands, feeling totally defeated and ready to burst into tears. The endorphins must have taken off with my inner zen runner .

So I really have to look deeply at myself and see the toxicity in my thoughts....envy, negativity, feeling sorry for myself, competitiveness and perfectionism. Those are my demons. I can live with the fact that my body is going to fight me a bit....I'm not meant to be a runner....aches and pains will be part of my life if I continue to run. I'm resolved in that fact and I'm willing to deal with it. So it's up to my heart and my mind to carry me through. I know my heart is in it. So that leaves me with the brain....my biggest enemy sometimes. I'm working on it guys . It's part of the journey....marathon training last year didn't quite get me there. So as I continue toward the newest, seemingly impossible, goal....I push my body and I push my mind....training both at the same time to become a better version of myself.

Have a great day. Tomorrow is a rest day. Can't say that I'm upset about that either .

 

[hockeygirl]

Hey Amy--Hang in there! We all have workouts like you had today all the time! I know those feelings all too well. You still had a great pace and you made it through the distance!

Keep up the good work and enjoy your rest day!!

BTW--15 Brownies--that must have been a lot of fun!!!

 

[kimwim8]

....I'm not meant to be a runner....

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you there, Amy. You ARE a runner. You have been a runner for over a year. You had a bad run. It happens to the best of us. Maybe we don't all admit it here, and maybe we just really toot our horns when we have a GREAT run. (I know I'm guilty of both). Please just clear your mind of that run, and focus on your rest day, and then the week ahead. Don't look back, only forward.

 

[ScoJo15]

Hi Amy!

First of all...I think I understand you. I think I understand where you are coming from. I took a journey with you last year and really got to know you, I know what goes on inside your head, I'm familiar with those demons (heck I think I helped you chase a few of them away) and I know they are there, waiting to seize an opportunity every time you step out the door to run.

But I also know that you have more willpower, confidence and determination than anyone I have ever encountered. Yes, your body may try to rebel against you and it may take more for you to have a successful run than other people out there, but your ability to squash those demons every time says more about your character and who you are than anything else.

Amy, at the end of the day when it's all said and done ....I don't really think that your whole journey was about getting the best times day in and day out....your whole journey was about finding out about yourself, pushing yourself to new limits, challenging your mind to push through when every part of your body says to stop. And in that department, you are more successful than any person on these boards...hold your head high cause you can push through any situation. You can be knocked down, but you are NEVER out of the game.

Yes running may always be a bit tough for you, but that just may be life's little way of strengthening who you are as a person. Enabling you to take on other fears and challenges in your life with the renewed confidence that running has brought you.

I personally think you did awesome. You SHOULD be running no faster than 10's on your long runs anyway. You had a very long week, a very tough and busy non stop schedule and I'm sure that played a huge part. Your ability to so eloquently look at your run, analyze your feelings and thoughts, put them on paper and press on is incredible and I'm in great awe of that quality in you.

Good job pushing through today Amy. And next time (if there ever is one) that you find yourself on that bench questioning your motives, just remember that you've got a big fan here who thinks you are an incredible person...and a fantastic runner.

I hope you have a good evening and a great tomorrow....hang in there kiddo

 

[toystoryduo]

....I'm not meant to be a runner....

Amy,

I agree with Kim.... You ARE a runner, sweetie! You're a runner who had a difficult run. I can't speak from experience when it comes to running, but there are definitely days when I can't get through an entire workout video without wanting to quit and walk away from the hold kit and kaboodle. Those negative voices can sometimes be a powerful thing, but Amy you are much, much, much stronger! You have run a marathon, through injury none the less. That is an amazing accomplishment! You have courage and determination and you are an inspiration to me and many other WISHers. Yes, there may be some rough days on your training journey, but Amy, you are a runner and a very good one too!

Keep on keeping on, Amy.....Hold your head high and focus on today. You CAN do this WISH sis!

 

[kimwim8]

And next time (if there ever is one) that you find yourself on that bench questioning your motives, just remember that you've got a big fan here who thinks you are an incredible person...and a fantastic runner.

Make that TWO fans!

 

[AmyBeth68]

Scotty, McBeaner, Tracy, Laurie.....THANK YOU GUYS ...seriously I really appreciate the support and the kind words. I'm really pretty certain that I'm not so deserving of the wonderful comments...but wow it was really nice to read. I tend to get myself all worked up, start feeling sorry for myself and become an annoying whiner LOL. Some people know this better than others . Thanks for sticking with me, it means a lot!

It's really odd, but sometimes a run can be a metaphor for your life at the moment. I think that may be a bit of what happened on Sunday. Just a distillation of life at large....tough run (tough day). I guess when you're feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders emotionally...it's bound to be felt during your run. At least bad days are generally balanced by good ones. Just like bad runs are eventually followed by good runs . Feeling a little zen again today.

Anyway...Monday was a scheduled rest day (LOVE those ....I'm really a big lazy bum at heart)....and unfortunately my hip was sore and stiff yesterday so I just settled for Pilates and pushed the run off until today. Trying to train smart (i.e. NO pushing through injuries or pain anymore). "zen"

Today I got out there and ran 3 miles (29:19)....things went pretty well, the hip is a little tight but I think it can be managed! I followed up the run with a pilates mat class, hoping all the stretching and core work help to work out the kinks from the run . Besides...pilates is such the opposite of running....it's graceful, sometimes yoga-like, peceful and quiet. Ahhhh "zen"

Thanks for the support. And thanks for listening to my rambling . Have a great day!

 

[ScoJo15]

Hi Amy

...zen...life metaphors...pilates....yoga.....just who is this "new" Amy? Feeling a little scared and insecure about the new version of my marathon buddy, I decided to check it out, hoping to learn more about the things you are interested in and therefore feel more comfortable in being able to relate to your newfound philosophies and intelligently be able to extrapolate on them during one of our "endurance events".

So I googled Zen and found a daily zen website. In order to try and relate, I pulled up the daily zen quote on said website....here it is:

This affair is like the bright sun in the blue sky, shining clearly, changeless and motionless, without diminishing or increasing. It shines everywhere in the daily activities of everyone, appearing in everything. Though you try to grasp it, you cannot get it; though you try to abandon it, it always remains. It is vast and unobstructed, utterly empty. Like a gourd floating on water, it cannot be reined in or held down. Since ancient times, when good people of the Path have attained this, they’ve appeared and disappeared in the sea of birth and death, able to use it fully. There is no deficit or surplus: like cutting up sandalwood, each piece is it.

- Letter to Hsu Tun-chi from Zen Master Ta Hui

.......... .....

Um....*scratches head*.....sandalwood, dead birds, gourds...I'm sorry Amy but I just don't get it...

So I'll gladly support you on your quest up that rocky mountain in Tibet to meet your buddah master, but I'm not sure that I'll be able to relate....for that, I'll have to stick to the running...

Awesome to hear that you think you'll be able to get that hip pain under control and it's really cool to see that you were able to complete a run today...and pretty fast I might add for a weekday training and then to double that up with a good Pilates mat session...nice morning of solid activity for you...you should definitely pat yourself on the back...or maybe treat yourself to a nice white chocolate macadamia nut cookie freshly baked straight out of the oven...ahhhhh cookies....I digress...

Ok, enough of being silly....Nice job today Amy I hope the leg continues to get better and that you continue this successful run of workouts

Have a great day!

 

[kimwim8]

NICE RUN, girl!! That is some speedy quick running!!! I'm about to go post my "fast" run today, and you put me right to shame. AWESOME job listening to your body and putting off the run until today. That's definitey the way to go...and I just know that by doing that you'll have a much smoother training session this time around!

You go, my little zen master.

Your humble student, the bean-meister.

 

[toystoryduo]

Great job on your run, Amy! I'm glad to hear that you took a rest day to let that hip heal. Hope it's feeling better!

Have a great Thursday!

 

[kimwim8]

Hey Am-ster. How's it goin??

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!

 

[AmyBeth68]

Hi Guys

Sorry I haven't posted....unfortunately I've been a little under the weather, having had a nasty stomach bug that put me out of commission all day yesterday and today.

So no training for me the past two days . Tomorrow starts with a very early softball game. Then when I get back home I *hope* to do some mat pilates work here at home and maybe an easy 30 minute ski machine session . But who knows...because I'm still really not feeling 100%. I just hope to see a miraculous recovery .

Thanks for checking in Scott, Tracy and Kim! Have a great holiday weekend everyone!

 

[ScoJo15]

Oh Amy..sorry you've been so sick

Just take it easy please...lots of fluids and easy foods at first. Your body is probably dehydrated and really needs to recover well before you go working out. Make sure you are back to normal before you try the ski machine or running.

Hang in there and know that I'm thinking about you & wishing you a speedy recovery.

Have a good evening

 

[kimwim8]

Yeah....what Scott said. Make sure you get some fuel back in you (slowly) before you worry about working out. You're not gonna lose any ground by waiting an extra day or two.

Rest up, girl and take care!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

Hope you're feeling better! Have a great weekend!

 

[AmyBeth68]

Hi guys....

Doesn't look like I'll be running in the next few days. Aside from being a little under the weather still, my hip has really been hurting . I hesitate to mention that b/c I really hope that I'm not going down that injury path again .

Oh well....all I can do is rest up and hope for the best. I'm still contemplating doing some pilates this afternoon and *maybe* an easy ski machine...but I really doubt that will happen.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Take care...and enjoy those runs, exercises, picnics and family events.

 

[ScoJo15]

Hang in there buddy

If you can survive and come back from that nasty leg injury last winter, you can handle this hip injury. Keep your chin up and do the smart things...rest it, ice it if needed and take anti-inflamms. Hopefully the Pilates doesn't affect it any...and be super careful on the ski machine if you choose to do it....you don't want to irritate anything.

Hope your weekend is awesome...glad to see that you are recovering from that nasty bug...keep those fluids and foods going