The Final Frontier (An Alaska Trip Report - UPDATED 4/25)

[MsOnceUponATime]

Chapter 3: The 30% Club

Longtime readers know that any chance we get (i.e. the price is right), we will stay in an Embassy Suites hotel if it’s available during our travels. It’s always nice to have room for the 6 of us and not have to force anyone to sleep on the floor. And they have by far the best free hotel breakfast of anyone.

The Embassy Suites of Anchorage is a very nice one, located just south of downtown and not a terrible drive from the airport. I particularly liked the whale-themed fountain in the lobby.

They have a chef who cooks fresh, made-to-order omelettes on the spot while you wait. Mine was filled with ham, bacon, cheese and onions. Everything a growing boy needs. And they deep-fry the potatoes so they’re hard to beat as well. The chef here was a talkative Asian woman who was going on a mile-a-minute about how they had scheduled her for too many shifts…or something. I confess, I could only catch a few random sentences here or there. Mostly I was impressed at how she could keep up the running commentary with 5 dishes all cooking at once.

With that much fat and cholesterol, it’s really nothing a grown man needs, but this is my vacation, so shut up about my health choices.

Once breakfast was eaten, we started the next leg of our Alaska Road Trip Spectacular with perhaps the most important destination of the entire journey: Walmart.

Gotta get those snacks and lunch supplies, you know.

The original plan for the day was to take it easy. We’d experienced 4 flights in 2 days and were trying to overcome our jet lag, so I figured it would make sense to have a relatively easy day hanging around Anchorage. We could visit a couple of small museums, or do a hike or two in the surrounding state parks. Nothing too earth-shattering, but a chance to rest for a bit after all the traveling.

But then we checked the weather.

It was Thursday, July 1, and the weather forecast for the day was outstanding. Clear skies, a high of 75F (24C), and a 2% chance of precipitation. It might actually be the best weather day of the entire trip.

We were hyper-focused on weather due to our desire to see Denali (formerly Mt. McKinley), the highest mountain in North America at 20,320 ft. (6193m). Naturally, we’d planned for an entire day touring Denali National Park later in the trip, but a look at the forecast for that date was decidedly iffy.

My father had told me about his trip to Alaska several years back, when he had toured Denali National Park and the entire mountain range had been socked in the whole time he was there. Later, on a clear day in Anchorage, he had decided to drive 135 miles up the road to a viewpoint just to be able to see the mountain, figuring it was the only chance he had. As it turned out, he was right.

We ended up deciding to try it as well. After all, it might have been our only shot to actually see the mountain. A quick check of the National Park Service webcam showed that it was indeed clear over the mountain that morning. We just had to hope that clouds didn’t move in later.

So, off we went. The Denali South Viewpoint is at mile marker 135.7 on the Parks Highway, and that’s the exact distance from Anchorage. If all went right, we had scrapped our relaxing plans for the day so we could drive a total of 270 miles just to see a mountain.

Why was this so important? Well, there are many, many tourists who visit Alaska who never get the chance to see Denali. The local statistic that gets repeated over and over is that only 30% of visitors actually get to see it without cloud cover. I won’t take my shoes off to do the math again due to the complaints I received concerning the smell, but my 7-year-old assures me that this means 70% of visitors never get to see Denali. They even sell t-shirts in the gift shops for visitors to brag about being part of “The 30% Club”.

(One enterprising shop also offered shirts advertising membership in The 70% Club, for those who didn’t get to see a blessed thing.)

The drive up wasn’t terrible. There was a stretch of about 20 miles of road construction in the town of Wasilla that we had to navigate, but at least we still had plenty of mountain scenery to enjoy. At one point, we rounded a bend and found a female moose just standing in the middle of the road, like she was posing for a photo shoot. Thankfully, she thought better of trying to play chicken with the minivan, because I didn’t buy the extra insurance.

Navigating via Google Maps, it was nearing lunchtime as we finally made it to the viewpoint. We pulled into the parking lot, noting quite a few people had also stopped. We walked to the overlook to see if our bet had paid off.

Well, now. 135.7 miles suddenly doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.

We learned that this particular viewpoint is roughly 41 miles (66 km) from the mountain itself, but even at that distance it really dominated the landscape. Denali is the snow-covered peak dwarfing all of the other mountains nearby. As one would expect.

There’s a short hike from the overlook up the hill to the right, and it leads to another viewpoint that in my opinion provides a better view, as the Susitna River is now visible flowing beneath the mountain range.

I have to say, we were really getting spoiled with the scenery thus far. We were now officially part of The 30% Club. Time to buy some overpriced junky t-shirts! Woohoo!

The overlook seemed like as good a place as any to eat our PB&J sandwiches for lunch. We sat and enjoyed the warm, beautiful weather and the perfect scenic backdrop. I think scenery like this does make PB&J taste up to 5% better.

We had a nice hour or so at the viewpoint. And then we turned around and drove all the way back to Anchorage.

That pretty much took up the whole day. We got back to the city mid-afternoon, so we parked downtown and wandered a bit, but many of the visitor information areas were closed due to COVID. We ducked into a crappy gift shop or two, but there really wasn’t much to see in the city.

We tend to eat dinner early on our vacations because a) we like to beat the crowds, b) PB&J doesn’t typically fill us up for very long, and c) we have teenagers and a 7-year-old who are always hungry. We knew our dinner spot was popular and would be crowded, so we decided around 4:30 p.m. to make our way there and see if we could get a table. It turned out to be a wise decision because Moose’s Tooth Pub & Pizzeria was packed, even that early on a Thursday afternoon. We ended up having to wait about 45 minutes for a table.

We were all pretty hungry by the time we were seated. The pizza menu was pretty extensive, and there were some funky combinations, so it was hard for everyone to come to agreement on what we wanted to try. Thankfully, they had some small 10” options so that you could order a “personal” pizza for roughly $10-15. We ended up choosing this option and having a bit of a pizza smorgasbord. Drew chose a plain cheese pizza, which is the only pizza any 7-year-old will ever choose. Julie went with a margherita pie and Dave went with his favorite, the Hawaiian.

Scott and Sarah like to split entrees so they can each try multiple options. In this case, they went with one safe option and one adventure: Scott ordered a pepperoni pie…

…while Sarah got a buffalo chicken pizza. It was a bit surprising to see shredded carrots on top.

But it actually really worked. That was their favorite pizza out of all of them.

Mine was the chicken parmesan pizza, and I was very satisfied with this one. It was basically as promised—like an open-faced chicken parm sub.

The pub also brewed their own beers, so I gave their Pipeline Stout a try, and that gets a thumbs-up as well. There are a LOT of brewpubs in Alaska. Between the scenery and the amount of brewpubs per capita, it’s fair to wonder if Alaska is actually heaven.

Spoiler alert: you’ll be seeing a lot of brewpubs in this TR.

Anyway, we greatly enjoyed our dinner here, and it was topped off when we decided to spoil ourselves by ordering a dessert called Death By Peanut Butter, which was their version of a chocolate/peanut butter pie.

You can almost taste it through the screen, can’t you? I want more. Now.

Having peeked ahead at the menus of the rest of the places we’d be eating on the trip, we decided there that we’d need to go on a Peanut Butter Pie Tour of Alaska. Again, you might be forgiven for thinking this place is heaven.

The pizza was very good, the beer and pie were wonderful, and we felt that Moose’s Tooth deserved a Drooling Homer Award for Excellence in Unpretentious Dining.

This Alaska trip was certainly off to a great start.

Coming Up Next: There are only about 7 major roads in Alaska, and we’re going to cover as many as we can.

I've been to Alaska a handful of times and always, always, always LOVE Moose's Tooth for pizza! I've always tried to get there early in the day so that I could beat the crowds. Thanks for sharing your trip with us. Looks like a fun time!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

How did we get back to your posterior again????

It's a big one. It gets in the way a lot.

Might have to pay it a visit some day.

It's near the Black Hills, so there's plenty to do in the area. The rest of the state...not so much.

So no research necessary…

You and I both know you can't help yourself there.

Cool. Would be curious to see the results.

Me too! But so far I only know my own rankings.

Is it fun, though? Or essential training?

I don't know, I didn't ask them.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I've been to Alaska a handful of times and always, always, always LOVE Moose's Tooth for pizza! I've always tried to get there early in the day so that I could beat the crowds. Thanks for sharing your trip with us. Looks like a fun time!

to the TR and thanks for reading!

Really loved the pizza at Moose's Tooth, but yeah...it was definitely better to be there early.

 

[juniorbugman]

Hey, thanks for chiming in after my passive/aggressive comments! Glad I didn't scare you off.

Dave is graduating high school this year, so we're planning a big sendoff for him. We're planning on visiting Southern California.

I can remember will this be Drew's first trip to California then? How long will it take you to get his list complete?

 

[pkondz]

It's a big one. It gets in the way a lot.

That's what everyone says.

It's near the Black Hills, so there's plenty to do in the area. The rest of the state...not so much.

Which still puts it wayyyyyyy ahead of North Dakota.

I don't know, I didn't ask them.

What kind of a slacker TR is this?
A really good writer would've jumped in and asked. What's the worst thing that could happen?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I can remember will this be Drew's first trip to California then? How long will it take you to get his list complete?

Drew was in Southern California before, but he was a 6-month old at the time. We also did San Francisco and Yosemite in 2019, so he remembers that trip better. He has 49 states now--Hawaii is the only one he's missing.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

That's what everyone says.

Everyone? I had no idea I was so popular.

Which still puts it wayyyyyyy ahead of North Dakota.

Amen to that.

What kind of a slacker TR is this?
A really good writer would've jumped in and asked. What's the worst thing that could happen?

They would probably have ignored me. Maybe if I'd jumped in holding my lunch and flailing around in order to attract attention.

 

[Cinderella's Fella]

Drew was in Southern California before, but he was a 6-month old at the time. We also did San Francisco and Yosemite in 2019, so he remembers that trip better. He has 49 states now--Hawaii is the only one he's missing.

Hey, wait a minute… what are your “rules” for being in a state again? Please?

 

[pkondz]

Everyone? I had no idea I was so popular.

Wrong word.

Infamous?
Notorious?

They would probably have ignored me. Maybe if I'd jumped in holding my lunch and flailing around in order to attract attention.

That should do it.

 

[afwdwfan]

Would I ever lie to you?

Besides the parts about the exploding helicopters, I mean.

Are you telling me that isn't true??? That was the part that I thought was actually real!! Mind blown!

He was kind of a goofball, as he never introduced himself other than saying he was the “disembodied voice in your head.”

Goofballs are always welcome on my adventures. As if you didn't know that.

We've got one steering the ship. Literally and figuratively.

Certainly not a bad meal, and eating also provided the key benefit of giving Drew something to do other than ask when the tour would be over.

That's always a fun age to deal with. He must be pretty good about it, overall, seeing all the driving and different things you were able to do in Alaska.

I know, you’re going to start crying “COVID” and stuff, but at this point, we’ve all been sharing one hotel room for a week and a half. If one of us has COVID, then we all have it.

Truth is truth.

Chocolate chip cookies follow much the same shelf-life rules as McDonald’s french fries—for the first 7 minutes out of the oven (fryer), they are quite simply the greatest food you will ever eat. Literally cannot be topped. After that, the enjoyment factor follows a graph similar to a radioactive half-life decay of an element, although much of that shelf life still falls into the pretty-good-decent-fine area.

The bottom end of the chocolate chip cookie is significantly higher than the bottom end of the McDonald's fry. I mean, if a McDonalds french fry has been sitting on my desk for, let's say half an hour, I'm throwing it in the trash. If a chocolate chip cookie has been sitting on my desk for 3 days, I'm going to eat it and it will still be good.

But let's be real, I'd eat that cookie long before it could sit there that long to begin with.

Even better, they had leftover cookies waiting for us as we disembarked once we reached the Seward dock. Naturally, they didn’t taste quite as good as the fresh ones, but they were still fairly high on the half-life taste curve. It was tempting to hold up the line and stuff a few more into my pockets. I wouldn’t do that, though. I’m too nice.

I told Drew to do it instead.

That's what kids are for!

Looks like another great tour! It's really impressive all the different wildlife you've been able to see. Seeing whales in their natural habitat has to be just an incredible feeling.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Hey, wait a minute… what are your “rules” for being in a state again? Please?

The rule is that your feet must touch the soil in order for the state to "count". It was basically put in place to rule out airport layovers.

Wrong word.

Infamous?
Notorious?

Unexpectedly dashing?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Are you telling me that isn't true??? That was the part that I thought was actually real!! Mind blown!

Well, that's understandable. I try to keep things grounded and realistic, so it probably felt true when you read it.

We've got one steering the ship. Literally and figuratively.

Guilty as charged.

That's always a fun age to deal with. He must be pretty good about it, overall, seeing all the driving and different things you were able to do in Alaska.

We just keep it honest. "There are 6 hours left, buddy. Get comfortable. Maybe enjoy the fact that you're seeing whales for literally the first time ever in your life."

Something nice and gentle, like that.

The bottom end of the chocolate chip cookie is significantly higher than the bottom end of the McDonald's fry. I mean, if a McDonalds french fry has been sitting on my desk for, let's say half an hour, I'm throwing it in the trash. If a chocolate chip cookie has been sitting on my desk for 3 days, I'm going to eat it and it will still be good.

But let's be real, I'd eat that cookie long before it could sit there that long to begin with.

Yes, and I tried to indicate that in the chapter. A chocolate chip cookie definitely has a longer shelf life. But it was the closest comparison I could think of for a food that is literally an all-time great right out of the oven/fryer and then in a matter of minutes shifts to merely "fine".

That's what kids are for!

Looks like another great tour! It's really impressive all the different wildlife you've been able to see. Seeing whales in their natural habitat has to be just an incredible feeling.

It was pretty awesome. I think I'd only seen a whale once before in my lifetime, so I was aware this time around of how rare of an experience it is. Once you spot one in the open water, it really doesn't get old.

 

[pkondz]

Unexpectedly dashing?

Nope. Not quite. Unexpected dishrag? Maybe?

 

[Cinderella's Fella]

The rule is that your feet must touch the soil in order for the state to "count". It was basically put in place to rule out airport layovers.

Thank you for clearing that up for me. I was remembering a picture of yours that you took in Hawaii.

 

[Steppesister]

Thank Goodness you're one of the writers who has some time in between chapters. I just can't keep up anymore. Even with 4-day weekends I seem to never have enough time.

We're really not used to that experience at all! It almost feels like I'm wasting time.

Get that too. Zach and I didn't have a day that we stayed more than one night somewhere. I packed in as much as we could in that place and moved on. I guess it depends on how you plan it and what there is to do around that "base", but I love the thought of staying in one place more than a night or more and taking shorter day trips with nice dinners and downtime in the evenings. I guess I'm slowing down as my body says, "Rest, Girl!".

It all comes down to $$$. Buying 6 lunches a day is just too much for the budget to bear.

Totally get there. I was there for many, many years and it was street food or packed picnics most of the time.

I always thought you were a little nutty.

The Deny O'Meter is registering very low.

I wish I'd timed our drives a little better to see it. I think the most famous/dramatic one is the Bay of Fundy in eastern Canada.

I am pretty sure you are right too. But sometimes it's hard to time stuff "just right" depending on what else is going on. You do the best you can and hope for the "stars to align".

Too bad it didn't cover the cost of the tour.

That would be too nice.

We caught the race live during the Olympics. What a thrill! So unexpected.

You have had some very good luck with things like that (Space Center comes to mind)

Oh come on, you know the first rule of wives: What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine.

It's the truth, it's "actch'll"
Everything is "satisfactch'll"

I didn't look for evidence, but that does appear to be his "spot".

Everyone needs a spot.

I was getting annoyed that the killer whales weren't interesting enough.

It'll be something he'll remember when he's 30 and be amazed. But that's a long way off.

It seems like we all veer between taking the virus way too seriously so as to impede any semblance of life, and not seriously enough to improve conditions/care for our fellow man.

I would agree. But with information all over the map, from equally reputable studies and sources, it's hard to know where that medium should be.

You could definitely hear them, even from a quarter mile away. Pretty neat to experience.

You're making me want to go to Alaska!! Last time I was there I was 4. I remember... zero.

I just didn't know they could be so...mean. I thought they were all friendly like Shamu.

So, probably best not to try to pet them.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Amen.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Nope. Not quite. Unexpected dishrag? Maybe?

Now you're just making stuff up.

Thank you for clearing that up for me. I was remembering a picture of yours that you took in Hawaii.

That's still one of our favorites!

Thank Goodness you're one of the writers who has some time in between chapters. I just can't keep up anymore. Even with 4-day weekends I seem to never have enough time.

I can't keep up here either. So I can only follow a couple of TR's and I just choose to stick with the friends I've developed over the years, like you and pkondz and Alison. I don't have the bandwidth for more. And I'm sure the slow updates mean other readers lose interest, but there's nothing I can do about that. I'm just doing it for fun anyway.

Get that too. Zach and I didn't have a day that we stayed more than one night somewhere. I packed in as much as we could in that place and moved on. I guess it depends on how you plan it and what there is to do around that "base", but I love the thought of staying in one place more than a night or more and taking shorter day trips with nice dinners and downtime in the evenings. I guess I'm slowing down as my body says, "Rest, Girl!".

Yeah, it's not any fun to realize that we can't do all the things we used to be able to do. I really work hard to be efficient with my time, too. Sitting around makes me feel like I'm "wasting time", even though I know it's needed.

Totally get there. I was there for many, many years and it was street food or packed picnics most of the time.

Someday I won't have to pay any more college tuition bills. Someday.

The Deny O'Meter is registering very low.

I am pretty sure you are right too. But sometimes it's hard to time stuff "just right" depending on what else is going on. You do the best you can and hope for the "stars to align".

Pretty much. We were there about 45 minutes early for one, but it was extremely cold and windy on the point and nobody wanted to wait around in that weather.

You have had some very good luck with things like that (Space Center comes to mind)

We have certainly been blessed!

It's the truth, it's "actch'll"
Everything is "satisfactch'll"

I've lived this for over 20 years now.

It'll be something he'll remember when he's 30 and be amazed. But that's a long way off.

Let's hope so!

I would agree. But with information all over the map, from equally reputable studies and sources, it's hard to know where that medium should be.

It's been a struggle for sure. I certainly don't want to get into debates over which sources are more reputable than others. I think I'm more upset by the way everyone instantly has a fully-formed opinion, and then when presented with new information that contradicts that opinion they resort to shouting it down rather than allowing their minds to be changed.

We all need a big dose of humility.

You're making me want to go to Alaska!! Last time I was there I was 4. I remember... zero.

It was amazing! Just spectacular scenery everywhere you look.

So, probably best not to try to pet them.

I'll have to write that one down.

 

[pkondz]

Now you're just making stuff up.

Wait... I thought that was the theme here?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Wait... I thought that was the theme here?

I didn't say it was a bad thing.

 

[pkondz]

I didn't say it was a bad thing.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Chapter 11: Journey’s End

On our final day in Alaska, we ran out of stuff to do.

We basically had the entire day to kill, as our flight out from Anchorage wasn’t until late that evening. But at this point, we’ d crossed everything—national parks, wildlife sightings, glaciers—off the list of items we’d wanted to see.

My original plan had been to try and do a couple of hikes I’d researched that we could get to on the drive back. But the weather was cool (55F/13C) and very overcast, so it was very iffy whether we’d get to see anything as a reward for the effort.

So we improvised.

When we’d wandered the town of Seward two nights prior, the Alaska Sea Life Center had caught our eye. I’d read good things about it on travel sites, and my parents had recommended it as well. Seemed like as good a place as any to spend a couple of hours.

The Alaska Sea Life Center is both an aquarium and a marine mammal rehabilitation center. Most of the facility appeared to be dedicated to caring for seals, sea lions, and other creatures who were injured and needed care in order to be returned to the wild. A large portion of its funding originally came from settlement funds from the Exxon Valdez oil spill disaster.

Obviously this facility wasn’t nearly as massive or spectacular as, say, the Georgia or Baltimore aquariums. But it’s very well done and we did find it interesting, informative and worth the time spent and price of admission.

Drew could have told you that as soon as he found a boat play area.

One of the scientific displays was an example of a thermal imaging camera, which can be helpful when finding life in the cool waters of the ocean or spotting teens throwing up gang signs.

They had plenty of tanks filled with the requisite exotic fish, which of course we did not write down and now cannot identify. They sure have purty colors, though!

At the top of the building, they had an area enclosed by netting but exposed to the outside air where they housed various puffins that were being treated for various ailments. This particular tufted puffin was very entertaining. He was constantly shaking, diving, fluffing his feathers, and generally looking like he was experiencing seizures. We did what all compassionate visitors would do and laughed and took pictures.

Nearby, we got to watch a Steller sea lion come out for his feeding. You might be shocked to learn that an animal this size can eat quite a lot of fish. He seemed to enjoy having an audience.

Our visit here took most of the morning. We drove north and as we went, Julie used up the last of our food supplies to make our final round of PB&J sandwiches for lunch. It’s rare that we don’t end up with leftovers, so we congratulated ourselves on some truly fine asset management in this case.

We reached Turnagain Arm (again), and began the drive around the long inlet. This time, however, I made a right on the side road towards the town of Whittier. Driving all the way to town would have required using a tunnel that is shared with a train, which could have made for an interesting experience. They have to shut down the road every time a train comes through, so there’s a chance you can get stuck in Whittier for a while. Rather than chance it, we stopped just short at Portage Lake.

I’d hoped to do a hike on the Byron Glacier Trail near here, which leads up into the mountains and promises some nice scenic views. But the mountains were completely socked in, so we quickly abandoned that idea. Instead, we pulled into a parking lot for the Begich-Boggs Visitor Center. This is a small attraction run by the Department of the Interior that draws visitors to the Chugach National Forest. It’s named for two congressmen who died in a plane crash in the area in 1972.

We didn’t really know what was in there, but since we had plenty of time to kill, we just wandered on in. As it turned out, our national park pass gave us free admission to the exhibits here, so there really was no reason not to explore the place at that point. There wasn’t much to it, but we got to learn a bit about the area and watch a short film on the residents of the area, some of whom lost their small village to the Exxon Valdez spill. Again, this was a nice little distraction to help break up our drive.

We drove north around Turnagain Arm and while I’d hoped to time this drive a little better, we ended up missing out on a couple of noteworthy items here. The first, as I had mentioned in a previous chapter, was the chance to see a bore tide. As you can see from the photos, the tide was out, but we had a chance to watch it roll in if we stopped at an overlook called Beluga Point. The problem was that when we reached the overlook, we were still 45 minutes early for the tide. We technically had the time to wait, but it was very cold and windy outside. Windy enough that it was hard to walk or stand still. And no one wanted to sit in the van staring at the water for 45 minutes. So we abandoned that idea.

The other miss was a meal stop. In this case, it was the middle of the afternoon and we’d liked the idea of using up all of the lunch supplies so we didn’t have to pack anything or throw out perfectly good food. This was a good thing, to be sure, but it meant that we missed out on a stop at a restaurant that has perhaps the greatest name I’ve ever seen in my life: the Turnagain Arm Pit BBQ.

I guess we’ll have to come back someday.

We made it back to Anchorage late in the afternoon and drove downtown to sit for a dinner reservation at the Glacier Brewhouse.

I know, you’re shocked—another brewpub. What are the odds?

This was one of the more popular places in Anchorage, and a reservation was a necessity—we heard the front desk quoting a two-hour wait to some walk-ins.

The menu featured plenty of comfort food, and we were happy take full advantage of the options. I went for the double-dipped fried chicken sandwich and washed it down with their version of an oatmeal stout. The sandwich ended up featuring a chicken breast as big as my face.

And he said it was good, saw it was good, and it was good.

Julie ordered a fettucine jambalaya that she seemed to enjoy quite a bit.

And a couple of the kid split the fish and chips option.

I don’t have any visual evidence of a dessert. We may have had the rare occasion when we were too full to order anything else. Nevertheless, the food was terrific and made for a great last meal in Alaska. We’ll give out one final Drooling Homer Award here.

From there, it was on to the Anchorage airport to return the rental van, check bags, and begin the flight home.

I find that it’s always much harder to travel east than west when it comes to fighting jet lag. When you go to the west, you can just stay up late and generally make the adjustment to the new time zone in a day or two. Coming back east, your whole body clock is completely messed up. It’s time for bed and you feel like you should just be sitting down for dinner.

The other difficulty you’ll encounter on the eastern flight is that the majority of the available flights will often be red-eye flights through the night. One would think this would aid in fighting the jet lag, as you’d theoretically sleep on the plane and then wake up in your destination, ostensibly helping the time zone transition.

This theory assumes, however, that the traveler has no problem sleeping on a plane.

I don’t sleep well on planes. Or in cars. Or sitting up in general.

So I always dread the flight back east.

When is your vacation officially over? Some would say it’s when you get back home. My answer is that it’s over when you check your bags and have to get into a TSA line that looks like this:

Apparently Friday nights are a very popular time to leave Alaska.

Somehow, we made it through and didn’t miss our flight. The first leg took us from Anchorage to Minneapolis, and by some small miracle I managed to take two or three hour-long naps on that flight, which was probably a record for me. I remember waking up when we were directly over Winnipeg and giving @pkondz a wave. I figured it was some ungodly hour like 4 in the morning so he was very likely at work trying to make sure Canada was safe from an Oblivious Family invasion.

We reloaded at the airport with coffee and breakfast sandwiches and then it was on to Philadelphia where my father picked us up and drove us home. As always, the cost for a ride to/from the airport from a family member is a Claymont cheesesteak, which is a price I am always happy to pay. And it sure beats long-term parking.

And there you have it. It took us eleven years, but we finally reached all 50 states (except Drew, of course, who has 49 and still needs to visit Hawaii, which means we need to go back—darn it all!).

50 states

44 national parks (of 63)

6 Disney theme parks

31 Disney restaurants

42 major cities

Summing up this whole adventure requires more thought and its own chapter, so I’ll save most of my musings for that. But suffice it to say: I’m so glad we did this. There were too many special moments and memories to count. Even the hassles were worth it, because they ended up turning into good stories later. Traveling is the best money we ever spent.

Coming Up Next: The final word on the 50 States Quest. And if I can stall long enough, I’ll try and get the rest of the family to weigh in on their favorites along the way…as well as some experiences they don’t feel the need to repeat. Ever.