The Duggars

[chrisw127]

I know tons of people that have undergone fertility treatments and never even had twins, let alone sextuplets. It's not a *given*, it's a very remote possibility. Jon and Kate even say in the intro of their show that they never intended to have 8 children. The Duggars, however, are always very happy to report that they're just going to keep on having babies until that poor woman's body gives out.

More than likely Kate underwent a medicated IUI without being monitored for how many follicles (eggs) she was producing. No doctor with any sense or decent credentials wants to be the doctor who got a woman pregnant with septuplets. Or they were monitored and were not given the choice of doing an IUI and advised to abstain because there were too many follicles. Either way, I seriously doubt any doctor would continue with treating a patient that potentially had that many eggs to fertilize. They rolled their dice. It worked out for them. Considering that most couples up get pregnant with quads don't have a favorable outcome, they were extremely lucky and unusual. All children appear healthy

I kind of like them. Don't like the Duggars. Just can't wrap my brain around their situation. And you KNOW those kids have no clue what it's actually like to have a parent.

 

[jpaxton1118]

I am not to fond of the Duggars either. I know that there has been a lot of going back and forth on this board about whether they are good parents or not and I have to go with the not. My husband and i watched the show and were in shock. I just do not believe that you can be a good parent with that many kids. I know that is my personal opinion but I just think you can't. Yes there children are well behaved and that is great but do you think it is because their parents taught them that, I don't. It was sad to me. Yes there are worse situations that these kids could be in but what they are in is not great. Kids need to be rules and chores but they also should be kids and they are not. Kids grow up fast enough without having to manage a house and raise their brothers and sisters.

 

[mommytobug]

Going through any kind of infertility treatments involves risk. Couples are ALWAYS warned of multiples. Of course, they have the choice of selective reduction (which I could never do). We have gone through infertility and I can tell you that if I had not been menopausal at 20 something, I would have welcomed any amount of babies that came. Even if TONS dont have multiples, they had that chance and probably would have welcomed those babies. I know that the Duggars choose each birth and that is different. I want to think that all these children are loved and nurtured even though I know it is hard. I guess I have been through so many trials trying to have children that I hesitate to judge anyone who does. I did hear Kate mention adopting a child so she would know the joy of having one. I dont think John is up for that though.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Jon and Kate are not with their children all of time the Duggers are.

I also disaregg that Jon and Kate did not intend to have that many children. I am sure they did not intend to have 6 at once, but they knew they knew it was a possiblility. They used fertility treatments to concieve both pregnancies. They had a multiple birth the first time and knew that it could happen again. Please do not think I am against ferltility treatments. We tried everything from Clomis to IVF over the course of five years. I am just saying Jon and Kate do not have 8 children by accident.

I will also add that he may work in IT but I highly doubt he is keeping that family financially afloat on his salary. The kids are always in GAP, eat mostly organic (Kate says this 100 X's a show) and all of the newest and hottest toys and private school on a single-family income?


Thank you

You don't have to be with the parents 24/7 to have a happy family, in fact, I couldn't deal with being with my family 24/7, I really wouldn't be happy.

Of course, I feel that the doctor that used all thos eggs during her IVF was wrong and irresponsible, because they knew what could happen, but they have been born and they take excellent care of them.

Kate did work part time as a nurse right after the babies were born, but they were better off with her not doing that. Her brother and sister-in-law live right down the street and she has alost of friends that are willing to step in and help them. If you ever pay attention, you will hear Kate talk about the children weraing hand-me-downs and buying clothes second hand. She is probably very conscienscious of what she buys and I know when they appeared on Dr. Phil's show, one of the toy companies gave them a whole bunch of toys and was going to continue to do so for a few years, he also donated, I think a year of nanny services. I haven't heard anything about private school. The older girls just started school this fall. They went to a half day kindergarten last year, but I believe it was a public school.

More than likely Kate underwent a medicated IUI without being monitored for how many follicles (eggs) she was producing. No doctor with any sense or decent credentials wants to be the doctor who got a woman pregnant with septuplets. Or they were monitored and were not given the choice of doing an IUI and advised to abstain because there were too many follicles. Either way, I seriously doubt any doctor would continue with treating a patient that potentially had that many eggs to fertilize. They rolled their dice. It worked out for them. Considering that most couples up get pregnant with quads don't have a favorable outcome, they were extremely lucky and unusual. All children appear healthy

I kind of like them. Don't like the Duggars. Just can't wrap my brain around their situation. And you KNOW those kids have no clue what it's actually like to have a parent.

Kate had IVF and they used too many eggs, IMHO. Her doctor was irresponsible about that and she as a nurse should have said no to that many, IMHO. For some women only one or two will take, but all of her did. I think I remember them saying there was one other baby, but it was "absorbed" back into her system and was never viable (might be confusing her with someone else)

I just don't have words for the Duggars today.

Suzanne

 

[dis-happy]

I'm pretty sure that Kate hyper-stimmed and knew it. She made a small reference once that went along the lines of: we decided to see what would happen and deal with it. Sounded like BMS to me...I doubt any doctor would have done an IUI in that situation. And don't forget that they actually started with 7 sacs; only 6 developed.

I like the Duggars, their peaceful household (the mom never yells like Kate...or me, lol) and their philosophies. They do seem a bit like the other ATI homeschoolers I know, with the emphasis on modest dress, etc. But hey, that's their choice not mine. It works for them.

Not sure what the big deal is with who is raising whom. It's very common in large families. My grandfather was the youngest of 13 and was raised by his older sisters (parents did a lot of travelling by then)...he turned out fine, retired as a much loved executive of a Fortune 500 company. My grandmother lost her mother at age 1 to the flu epidemic and was subsequently raised by her older half sister (dad remarried). She was a wonderful person as well.

Historically this country was a farming nation, and generations of children grew up working, much more than 20 hours a week. Hard work never hurt anyone and like the most fortuante in life, the Duggars have learned to enjoy it and make it fun (at least it seems that way). My ds plays competetive tennis to the tune of 15-18 hours per week; he loves it. My older dd did horses...she could spend hours and hours per day at the barn in all kinds of weather doing everything from mucking stalls to teaching riding lessons...she loved that too.

I'm not a big Ezzo fan (or Gothard either), BUT...who parents these days without sifting what they like and don't like in order to end up parenting in a way that feels comfortable? I know I do. There's some of John Rosemond I like, other parts I'd never touch; we do some attachment parenting but I have weaned my children before age 2. I don't judge others that do differently. The Duggar children all look pretty happy, and certainly not abused.

Why should the mom have to do all the houswork? I'm a big believer in teaching my kids life skills including laundry and cooking (boy or girl). Again, the Duggars seem to have it under control (I WISH my home were as clean and organized) and it sure beats Kate's frantic efforts with 1 million post-it notes and not able to find a single housekeeper who can clean good enough for her standards. While I see how hard she tries, I worry she'll have a nervous break-down one day, and when the children are able to help with chores they'll constantly be berated that they haven't done a good enough job. She needs to relax a little bit. I'd take the soft-spoken and encouraging voice of the Duggar mom anyday.

JMHO!!!!

 

[_queenie_]

One thing I don’t understand about the Duggars is why they feel having a huge family makes them look better in the eyes of god. They don’t get to spend time with each individual child, they can’t even remember all of their names for crying out loud! I grew up in a family with six children and didn’t get as much alone time with my parents as I had wished, I could never imagine having ten more siblings! These kids basically live in a school all of the time, they are the students and the parents are the teachers. Do your kids and their teachers know each other like you and your kids know each other (I’d assume likely not)? I don’t think they’re in any way abusing these kids, but they aren’t doing them any favors either.

I also think they slightly misinterpret the Bible (I am Christian), not everything is to be taken literally in today’s society. If all humans were created equal, why would they make the girls do twenty hours of laundry each week (that’s a little under three hours a day)? A lot of things have changed since the Bible was written, especially the role of women. I bet if you sent something written today for people to read back in time to that period people would be really confused because they don’t understand how our values. I don’t think it’s at all wrong for a Christian to want to live by and raise their family by the major aspects of the Bible, but you can’t pay attention to the little things (particularly about women) that mean nothing today.
I have to steal a quote fro Pirates of the Caribbean about the pirate code, “They’re not rules, they’re more guidelines anyway!”

Last but surely not least, do their kids know anything about what’s going on today’s world? Sure, a six-year-old doesn’t need to know about Al-Qaeda’s latest video or what Britney Spears did last night, but their kids need to learn about some of the major things that are going on and learn about them gradually. If they don’t they’ll be in for a major shock once they reach adulthood.

It will be interesting to see how these kids live once they become adults!

 

[runwad]

I don't know I've watched these shows in the past and always thought what a nice family. I think it's nice how they all pitch in and help out. It wasn't till I got on the Dis and started reading some of the negative things posted that started to make me think. You know everyone always critizes Michelle for not watching her kids or doing any of the work. Can you imagine all the work she did do when she had 7 under 7? I'm sure they weren't helping w/cooking or laundry or watching babies. And I'm sure she does something doesn't just sit with a book while her kids do it all. I don't know where I stand on them. I do think they're a nice family have nice kids and it's not any of my business how they run things. But I have 3 kids and in the summer when they're off school I make them do the laundry and the housework too. I don't think I'm such a bad mom. It teaches them and makes them better individuals if you give them some responsibilities. I know this doesn't equate to the Duggars life but geez no way the mom can do it alone they have to help.

Oh and on Jon & Kate did anyone catch that he is now working for the friends (Beth?)husband? He comes home around 2 and can work from home. I like them too

 

[snugglepeas]

One thing I don’t understand about the Duggars is why they feel having a huge family makes them look better in the eyes of god. They don’t get to spend time with each individual child, they can’t even remember all of their names for crying out loud! I grew up in a family with six children and didn’t get as much alone time with my parents as I had wished, I could never imagine having ten more siblings! These kids basically live in a school all of the time, they are the students and the parents are the teachers. Do your kids and their teachers know each other like you and your kids know each other (I’d assume likely not)? I don’t think they’re in any way abusing these kids, but they aren’t doing them any favors either.

I also think they slightly misinterpret the Bible (I am Christian), not everything is to be taken literally in today’s society. If all humans were created equal, why would they make the girls do twenty hours of laundry each week (that’s a little under three hours a day)? A lot of things have changed since the Bible was written, especially the role of women. I bet if you sent something written today for people to read back in time to that period people would be really confused because they don’t understand how our values. I don’t think it’s at all wrong for a Christian to want to live by and raise their family by the major aspects of the Bible, but you can’t pay attention to the little things (particularly about women) that mean nothing today.
I have to steal a quote fro Pirates of the Caribbean about the pirate code, “They’re not rules, they’re more guidelines anyway!”

Last but surely not least, do their kids know anything about what’s going on today’s world? Sure, a six-year-old doesn’t need to know about Al-Qaeda’s latest video or what Britney Spears did last night, but their kids need to learn about some of the major things that are going on and learn about them gradually. If they don’t they’ll be in for a major shock once they reach adulthood.

It will be interesting to see how these kids live once they become adults!

I don't believe they think having so many children makes them look better in the eyes of God, they have just chosen to let God be the one to decide how many children they have, the Bible says that God is the one that opens and closes the womb so if God has control over the womb then God has control over the number of children they have.

It does not say any place in the Bible that all humans are created equal.

they also don't close there children off to the outside word, yes they don't have a tv in their house and I see that as a good thing maybe there would be far less overweight kids in this country if there were less tv on in the home.

they take there kids out into the world to learn about alot of different things that will help them in the future. In a few shows they had them going to different company's to learn new things.

 

[Schmeck]

It does not say any place in the Bible that all humans are created equal.

...which is why women have been oppressed for centuries by organized religion. Of course the bible includes slavery as well, and we know slavery is a really good thing - where's my houseslave? Oh wait, let me have 17 kids, and they can be my slaves!

Anyways, I just really look down on people who think we need tons more people pushing organized religion on this planet. People are the major source of all the earth's problems, you know. And we ain't doing much to fix it, are we?

 

[mommytobug]

I do remember the Duggar mom talking about when the oldest children were young. I also remember an episode when one of the children fell and she consoled him. I watched very closely for some reason to see who did and if they did. I love watching these shows. I dreamed of having a large family but that was not in God's plan.

 

[fakereadhed]

The Duggars are not abused, but they're not valued or nurtured as children should be.

Don't know if I would do things the same way, but they definitely appear to be both valued and nurtured by those parents.

 

[mommytobug]

...which is why women have been oppressed for centuries by organized religion. Of course the bible includes slavery as well, and we know slavery is a really good thing - where's my houseslave? Oh wait, let me have 17 kids, and they can be my slaves!

Anyways, I just really look down on people who think we need tons more people pushing organized religion on this planet. People are the major source of all the earth's problems, you know. And we ain't doing much to fix it, are we?

I dont think I have ever heard these views before. Do you think people should not have children? or just lots of children?

As for organized religion, I am a member of a church but that does not define my relationship with God.

 

[fakereadhed]

Not trying to stir the pot or anything but what else could they have done?
Selective reduction ??

I totally do not get how you can buy into 1/2 of a medical intervention. Seems like the ethical dilemna starts with the procedure, not the reduction.

 

[momxx5]

Chimmng in here, as a mom of 5 well rounded, down to earth and very caring children.

How are the Duggar children ever going to survive in a world that is not created by their parents?
Is there a possibility that the children will be able to meet others, possibly date and even marry? Are their parents going to arrange all that for them too? Are the children ever going to be allowed to leave the compound?

Do the children even know about the big world around them?
Serving God includes serving others not just family. A dose of reality would be to see how others live.....small homes, lots of bills, school projects, no one to come home to because both parents are working.
Maybe giving of themselves to sew clothing for the homeless or kids living in shelters, maybe making tattot casserole for a soup kitchen.

I don't know, its just no how we live.

 

[Minnie_me]

Don't know if I would do things the same way, but they definitely appear to be both valued and nurtured by those parents.

Really? Valued? HOW?? They are primped and pimped out to the television cameras. They are made to be cheerful little slaves - - one of those young girls is doing TEN LOADS OF LAUNDRY A DAY. Every day. Yeah, she's valued..........as a laundress!

NURTURED?? How on earth do you appropriate nurture SEVENTEEN CHILDREN at a time?!??! I barely have time to give my two the attention they crave. I just checked out the website, and every single picture I saw of the new baby, she was being held and/or cared for by one of the older girls. How is that nurturing your newborn?

 

[andyjack]

You guys must not have seen Michelle lately as she has had a makeover. I also believe she was wearing pants. I need to go see if I can find the picture.

FOUND IT!!!

http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314255

 

[DawnM]

I posted almost this exact same thing a few weeks ago. I cannot watch that show and she drives me crazy! She is always whining and upset about something her kids or husband did "wrong!"

Dawn

You can call me crazy or whatever, I am not trying to stir the pot or anything but I just can not stand to watch Jon and Kate plus 8. The reason why is because of Kate. I just do not seem to like her. I have tried to watch a few times and every time she just drives me crazy. I think she is mean to her husband and I just can not stand her attitude.
I like watching all the other shows and it seems that most of the families are just more likable.
I don't understand having 17 children but that is just me. but if it works for your family go for it.

 

[jamesmommy]

I have watched the shows on the Duggars, and found them very interesting. The children seem healthy and happy, and don't seem abused in anyway. I would not do alot of things as they do, but I would probably not do alot of the things many of you do too. Parenting is all about making choices.

One thing that has bothered me is all the comments about Michelle Duggar's hair........I have never even thought twice about it I don't normally even notice looks, guess I am weird. Anyway, if it makes anyone feel better, she did get a new hairdo. Check it out, it looks nice in my book.
http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/celebrities/2008/01/21/michelle-duggars-got-a-new-look/

 

[chrisw127]

I have watched the shows on the Duggars, and found them very interesting. The children seem healthy and happy, and don't seem abused in anyway. I would not do alot of things as they do, but I would probably not do alot of the things many of you do too. Parenting is all about making choices.

One thing that has bothered me is all the comments about Michelle Duggar's hair........I have never even thought twice about it I don't normally even notice looks, guess I am weird. Anyway, if it makes anyone feel better, she did get a new hairdo. Check it out, it looks nice in my book.
http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/celebrities/2008/01/21/michelle-duggars-got-a-new-look/

She looks queasy. Morning sickness?

 

[_queenie_]

On Jon and Kate one time Jon was saying that he was happy with just the twins, but Kate wanted to give the girls a (singular) little brother or sister. They didn't try to have a lot of kids like the Duggars. Sure, they knew when on fertility treatments that there was a possibilty of multiples, but isn't that a possibilty with any pregnancy? Has anyone seen the special about the Mathias quads, they had identical quadruplets on their own, (or even the Dionne quints)!