The Duggar Family

[kimmyann]

WOW! I have been reading what everyone has wrote and have pretty much seen on here what society has really become. Some people have actually posted comments about they can't wait to see the outcome of the children's lives and almost seem to be anticipating their demise. It's really kinda sick in a way, but I guess this is what reality t.v does. I understand that the Dugger's have put themselves out there for the world, but why all of the hate? They take care of themselves, they are healthy and seem happy. Why does that bother so many people? I don't get it.

Everything they do is their own choice. That is the beauty of the country we live in and why so many have fought to have this right, I guess to also have the right to criticize others. I do watch the show sometimes and think it is wonderful how close the family is, maybe some need to take notes and not throw so many stones. We should be thankful that anyone can make choices like this.

Kim

 

[DMRick]

What hate are you talking about? What stone throwing? I've read the whole thing too, and I see a lot of concern for the kids and the mom.

I understand that the Dugger's have put themselves out there for the world, but why all of the hate?

[clip]

maybe some need to take notes and not throw so many stones. We should be thankful that anyone can make choices like this.

Kim

 

[DMRick]

did anyone say it wasn't alright for others? i think they just caught someone's attention and next thing, they were on tv.

Yes, some of the same posters here said, when we had the K & J thread that they did not want to see kids working on TV (work being what K & J said were their kids playing). I just see a double standard. Yes, I get that Michelle is very sweet and Kate was not. But some of the same people who are ok with the Duggar kids working didn't like that the Gosselins were working, no matter how the parents acted. They wanted rules and times in place they could work for the G's, but no one seems to think the same about these kids, that they may need some protection against parents that are earning money by putting their kids on TV. It was the kids they didn't want to see on TV. There has been concern if the G kids got to keep some of the money. I don't see the same concern for the Duggar kids. There has also been a lot said about those kids when they grow up, after their life was on TV..and now we have all these kids on TV but people shouldn't be concerned about them? It has to be hard on all the kids..no matter which show, when they are front and center.

 

[Disney Ella]

In my opinion, it wouldn't hurt for more American kids to be helping out more at home. But I guess playing video games, watching "Jersey Shore" and sexting are more socially accepted hobbies for our youth in this country then going to church or doing chores.



What? The only Duggar child who got married was the son who didn't have his wife chosen for him and they have 1 baby? This is how bits and pieces of information get distorted and posted on blogs and websites. If you don't like the show, don't watch - it's pretty simple!

They are doing much more than "helping out," those girls prepare all the meals, do all the laundry and homeschool the younger children. Helping out is folding clothes or putting away the dishes. Just because a family doesn't choose to follow the Duggar's fundamental ways does not mean that the children are playing endless video games or sexting. Plenty of us have children who get good grades, help around the house and participate in community organizations even though they aren't strictly controlled like the Duggars.

Anna was chosen for Josh only after Jim Bob approved of the match. If Jim Bob hadn't approved, there would have been no marriage. It wasn't as if Josh got to go out into the world and meet young women and independently choose a wife. There was a very small pool of acceptable women to choose from - all of them from families that embrace the Gothard/Quiverfull lifestyle.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Yes, some of the same posters here said, when we had the K & J thread that they did not want to see kids working on TV (work being what K & J said were their kids playing). I just see a double standard. Yes, I get that Michelle is very sweet and Kate was not. But some of the same people who are ok with the Duggar kids working didn't like that the Gosselins were working, no matter how the parents acted. They wanted rules and times in place they could work for the G's, but no one seems to think the same about these kids, that they may need some protection against parents that are earning money by putting their kids on TV. It was the kids they didn't want to see on TV. There has been concern if the G kids got to keep some of the money. I don't see the same concern for the Duggar kids. There has also been a lot said about those kids when they grow up, after their life was on TV..and now we have all these kids on TV but people shouldn't be concerned about them? It has to be hard on all the kids..no matter which show, when they are front and center.

Got it, it is old stuff coming up.

I don't think it is horrid to have your kids on tv. Whether we are talking about Ozzie, the Duggers, or Kate. I always hope that someone is watching out for the kiddoes, though.

 

[kimmyann]

What hate are you talking about? What stone throwing? I've read the whole thing too, and I see a lot of concern for the kids and the mom.

Okay, hate may be too strong of a word, but definite dislike. Of course, everyone has their own opinions. As far as the stone throwing, yes, definitely. I'm not going to sit and quote all of the posts, but when people say that someone should not have anymore children and that they should not make the older children do this or that and etc... that is stone throwing because at that point you are judging someone else and even stating what they should or should not do and I can ALMOST guarantee that anyone else could do the same to you. I do see alot of concern, but I also see alot of judging and I just don't get it. Hope that makes sense.

 

[Nayan]

After many years of women fighting to vote, fighting to work these people want women to give it all up. I suggest if you haven't already Google Quiverfull. Women are there to be subservient, breed and homeschool. That's it, no hopes and dreams need apply, just breed out 'God's Army'. I feel so sorry for those kids, especially the girls who may never get a chance to voice their opinion.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

They are doing much more than "helping out," those girls prepare all the meals, do all the laundry and homeschool the younger children. Helping out is folding clothes or putting away the dishes. Just because a family doesn't choose to follow the Duggar's fundamental ways does not mean that the children are playing endless video games or sexting. Plenty of us have children who get good grades, help around the house and participate in community organizations even though they aren't strictly controlled like the Duggars.

Anna was chosen for Josh only after Jim Bob approved of the match. If Jim Bob hadn't approved, there would have been no marriage. It wasn't as if Josh got to go out into the world and meet young women and independently choose a wife. There was a very small pool of acceptable women to choose from - all of them from families that embrace the Gothard/Quiverfull lifestyle.

Per arranged marriages, I know several people who are looking at arranged marriages. No, not conservative Christians, but Indians. They have tried the dating and such since moving here, and looked at the outcome of the avg. marriages here, and the marriages in their families that were arranged. There is nothing to say that arranged marriages are bad.

I know many Christians who have chosen the courtship route, and they seem to be doing well, too. That isn't to say it is the only way, but I sure haven't seen anything bad come of it.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

btw, I was not a practicing Christian when I got married, but if my mom or my dad had serious concerns about my husband before I married him I would have seriously rethought my decision. They have known me forever, and only care about what would be a good situation for me.

 

[DMRick]

I don't even dislike them, I actually like them. Coming from someone who's grandfather thought my grandmother should have one kid after another each year for 24 years (then she left..and he got all the slaves, er, kids, because he said if she left, he said she couldn't have the kids, and she just couldn't bear to keep having more and more..there was to be no end until menopause) I am sorry for the amount of work the kids do though. My mom was one of the youngest, but she still had a tough farm life. I loved my aunts, they were so good to the younger ones, but they had no lives of their own. It was all about work. I also am concerned that these kids may not have a mom at all, if she keeps having babies, and then they will have even more work to do. You can call it stone throwing, but I know for myself, I feel bad that the older girls are already raising a family, rather than having time to themselves.

And I'm just reading opinions, which are like belly buttons, we all have one.

Could someone tell me that I wasn't perfect at raising my kids..yes they could, because I wasn't. But they got to be kids and have fun, and didn't have such big responsibilities. They turned out well in spite of me.

Okay, hate may be too strong of a word, but definite dislike. Of course, everyone has their own opinions. As far as the stone throwing, yes, definitely. I'm not going to sit and quote all of the posts, but when people say that someone should not have anymore children and that they should not make the older children do this or that and etc... that is stone throwing because at that point you are judging someone else and even stating what they should or should not do and I can ALMOST guarantee that anyone else could do the same to you. I do see alot of concern, but I also see alot of judging and I just don't get it. Hope that makes sense.

 

[Disney Ella]

Per arranged marriages, I know several people who are looking at arranged marriages. No, not conservative Christians, but Indians. They have tried the dating and such since moving here, and looked at the outcome of the avg. marriages here, and the marriages in their families that were arranged. There is nothing to say that arranged marriages are bad.

I know many Christians who have chosen the courtship route, and they seem to be doing well, too. That isn't to say it is the only way, but I sure haven't seen anything bad come of it.

Maybe not bad, but it would be very sad not to be able to choose your own spouse, especially since that person is someone you expect to spend years and years of your life with.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Maybe not bad, but it would be very sad not to be able to choose your own spouse, especially since that person is someone you expect to spend years and years of your life with.

Eh, it has worked for centuries.

And, in this case it is a moot point. It wasn't an arranged marriage, merely a couple who chose courtship rather than dating.

 

[badblackpug]

badblackpug, I suspect that if their lives were like that there would be talk of it. Gossip would abound. So, while you may be right, I think that they are probably about what they seem.

Not necessarily. I'm not saying it's true of this particular family, but we have all known families that seem so happy and together on the surface only to find out later that things were very, very wrong behind closed doors. Children are often forced to keep family secrets, or to present a certain "face" to the public. These children seem to be under very strong control of their parents, it would not surprise me if they were made to present a certain face to the public, regardless of what they feel inside.

Again, I have not seen any "hatred" of this family. I think a lot of people disagree with their lifestyle and how they choose to raise their children, disagreement doesn't mean hatred. I disagree with some of the things my sister does. I love her more than anyone on earth. I don't think anyone wants to see the children fail or have any sort of bad outcome, but by broadcasting their lives to the world they have sparked interest in their lives and the lives of their children. Unfortunately, like Jon and Kate discovered, when you open the doors of your home for public consumption, you open the doors to the good and the bad. As others have said, statistically, at least one of these kids is going to stray from the pack. That doesn't mean they will fail, but they may choose a different life. It will be interesting to see how this family will respond to that.

I think this family provokes such strong reaction because they are so different from mainstream America. I am not saying that is good or bad. Presenting such a different viewpoint has provoked discussion. Some people will totally agree with them, some people will totally disagree, some people will be in the middle. That doesn't translate to love or hate.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Could someone tell me that I wasn't perfect at raising my kids..yes they could, because I wasn't. But they got to be kids and have fun, and didn't have such big responsibilities. They turned out well in spite of me.

Amen.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Not necessarily. I'm not saying it's true of this particular family, but we have all known families that seem so happy and together on the surface only to find out later that things were very, very wrong behind closed doors. Children are often forced to keep family secrets, or to present a certain "face" to the public. These children seem to be under very strong control of their parents, it would not surprise me if they were made to present a certain face to the public, regardless of what they feel inside.

Again, I have not seen any "hatred" of this family. I think a lot of people disagree with their lifestyle and how they choose to raise their children, disagreement doesn't mean hatred. I disagree with some of the things my sister does. I love her more than anyone on earth. I don't think anyone wants to see the children fail or have any sort of bad outcome, but by broadcasting their lives to the world they have sparked interest in their lives and the lives of their children. Unfortunately, like Jon and Kate discovered, when you open the doors of your home for public consumption, you open the doors to the good and the bad. As others have said, statistically, at least one of these kids is going to stray from the pack. That doesn't mean they will fail, but they may choose a different life. It will be interesting to see how this family will respond to that.

I think this family provokes such strong reaction because they are so different from mainstream America. I am not saying that is good or bad. Presenting such a different viewpoint has provoked discussion. Some people will totally agree with them, some people will totally disagree, some people will be in the middle. That doesn't translate to love or hate.

I get that people have opinions. no biggie for me. i just see it as a conversation.

You are right, you can hide a lot. However, I think that these kids have been exposed to the world more than most in the course of making this show. Abuse could certainly be occurring. But I don't think that there is fighting, etc. That is the type of thing that is difficult to hide from everyone. If the kids were brats, and mom was a screaming nut it would get out, in other words.

 

[badblackpug]

Okay, hate may be too strong of a word, but definite dislike. Of course, everyone has their own opinions. As far as the stone throwing, yes, definitely. I'm not going to sit and quote all of the posts, but when people say that someone should not have anymore children and that they should not make the older children do this or that and etc... that is stone throwing because at that point you are judging someone else and even stating what they should or should not do and I can ALMOST guarantee that anyone else could do the same to you. I do see alot of concern, but I also see alot of judging and I just don't get it. Hope that makes sense.

It's not stone throwing, it's opinions. Everyone has the right to an opinion. Just because one persons opinion differs from another doesn't mean they are judging anyone, it means they would do things differently given the same set of circumstances.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

After many years of women fighting to vote, fighting to work these people want women to give it all up. I suggest if you haven't already Google Quiverfull. Women are there to be subservient, breed and homeschool. That's it, no hopes and dreams need apply, just breed out 'God's Army'. I feel so sorry for those kids, especially the girls who may never get a chance to voice their opinion.

Lol, you like the word "breed" don't you.

Few kids are exposed to all of the possibilities in life, and most seem to grow up to be reasonably happy human beings. Imagine that.

 

[CdnCarrie]

They are doing much more than "helping out," those girls prepare all the meals, do all the laundry and homeschool the younger children. Helping out is folding clothes or putting away the dishes.

Anna was chosen for Josh only after Jim Bob approved of the match. If Jim Bob hadn't approved, there would have been no marriage. It wasn't as if Josh got to go out into the world and meet young women and independently choose a wife. There was a very small pool of acceptable women to choose from - all of them from families that embrace the Gothard/Quiverfull lifestyle.

Yup Michelle is sitting on the couch eating bon bons while her kids are slaving away.

Where did you see that they do all the work? The whole family pitches in and helps out. That's what happens in large families.

I never got the impression that Anna was "chosen". Josh did court another young lady before Anna to begin with. That didn't work out.

And by the way Anna has post secondary education. And she works outside the home at their business.

 

[kimmyann]

Definition of judge per Merriam-Webster:


: to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises


to form an estimate or evaluation of; especially : to form a negative opinion about <shouldn't judge him because of his accent>

It is what it is.

My whole point in my post was that I do not understand why so many people have such negative views of this family. I'm not personally attacking anyone and that is not my intent, but I just don't get it. I did correct myself on using the word hate. I guess it can just be my opinion just as it is yours.

 

[C.Ann]

Not enough time right now to respond to everything that has been posted since last night (I'm working on a project and popped on to check my PM's), but someone posted something along the lines of churches aren't churches when they are held in homes.. Obviously the Amish - and many other Orders of the plain people would strongly disagree..

Also waiting for the link that indicates Michelle knew she was in danger prior to conceiving Josie - due to this gallbladder issue.. Anyone?

Would love to comment on many other misconceptions that have been posted since my last post, but I have to run for now.. I'll be sure to get back to this thread when time allows..