DIS Dads The DIS Dad's Club X: Por favor mantengase alejado de las puertas

[IamTrike]

Finally doing something worthwhile with my money, the CDC has released preparedness instructions related to the coming zombie apocalypse.

Remember, being forewarned is being forearmed. Get cracking, gents. We've got an invasion to prepare for!

Buying guns ahead of time is also being forearmed.

 

[afwdwfan]

Buying guns ahead of time is also being forearmed.

Then consider me forearmed!

Although I'm very jealous of Fed's arsenal.

 

[BigTex71]

This is going to kill me - I hate waiting around for the seasons to start again...

That is the way I feel about Dexter.

I have come to Boast,
That I have One Thousand Posts!



With 1,000 I was Genuinely Bound,
To say something Really Profound.



What I Have isn’t to Bad,
It’s Awesome Being a DisDad!



So Don’t Linger
Hurry Up and Pull My Finger!



Does anyone want a peanut?

Great 1k post!

Day's been going pretty good so far, getting good feedback from the new client interviews I've been doing on Swap Shop, and the local pasty joint had my favorite pasty on sale today, Bacon Cheeseburger! *gurgle*


TL

Pasty - is that like a Hot Pocket?

Okay, remember what I said about this being a good day? I should have kept my mouth shut...little did I know about the horror that awaited me.

I walked into the restroom and discovered that someone had...replaced the toilet paper and paper towel the WRONG WAY!!!


I feel all out of sorts now...like I walked into some sort of Bizarro World. Nothing makes any sense...up is down, left is right, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!!!!!!


I need to lie down now....


TL

Was it over or under?

You laugh, but I was soooooo lucky to have found as many western toilets as I did when I got the flu while visiting Katoot when he was in Japan. Also lucky I knew about the toilet paper thing (which is also true in Japan), and brought along an emergency travel alternative.

You ever have to wipe with kleenex? Not something I recommend.


TL

Just use a dollar. But be warned, three quarters, two dimes and a nickle doesn't work so well... you need a paper dollar bill.

How big do you think Jasmine is?

Maybe 34C ?

Children home from school with no homework and list of field trips. They already have completed their testing for year. Making up those days missed is stupid when they aren't teaching them anything, but it serves as free childcare for now.

I hear you. Our state testing was a few weeks ago. I don't see why they even make them go to school after the testing, since they only seem to teach the test anyway. Maybe they should do the state testing the final week, or week before school is out.

 

[trennr]

Children home from school with no homework and list of field trips. They already have completed their testing for year. Making up those days missed is stupid when they aren't teaching them anything, but it serves as free childcare for now.

Preach it...all my DS16 has done for the week is watch about 15 different Movies. total waste...DS11 has had no class work either...field trips....field day...awards day...movies...of course he loves it.


that right there should end the whole "Should I take my kids out of School" Debate.

 

[afwdwfan]

Maybe 34C ?

Well, based on the extensive research that has been assembled by the DIS Dad's I'd say it can be a variable measurement.

 

[RodBelding]

Just reading up on this group of people claiming that the end of days is scheduled for May 21... Now they're probably insane, well they're definitely insane, but still I feel like maybe i should get some good living in in the next 3 days just in case.

(The above is how I'm going to rationalize buying, and drinking, some 18 year old scotch on Friday)...

 

[IamTrike]

Well, based on the extensive research that has been assembled by the DIS Dad's I'd say it can be a variable measurement.

For some reason this reminded me of Professor Farnsworth getting upset at the horse race and saying "you've changed the outcome by measuring it."

 

[Turkey Lurkey]

Was it over or under?

Under. Ugh! Gives me the shivvers just thinking about it!

Just use a dollar. But be warned, three quarters, two dimes and a nickle doesn't work so well... you need a paper dollar bill.

With as sick as I was, I would have need something bigger than a dollar...maybe a twenty at the least.



TL

 

[Turkey Lurkey]

Pasty - is that like a Hot Pocket?

Heathen! Dare ye compare mana from heaven to the lowly heated pocket?

That's like comparing your grandma's homemade grits to Quaker instant oatmeal or whatever it is you people eat down south.

TL

 

[ClearScreen]

Don't knock the IronPigs 'cause they're in first place! They're name comes from the local steel industry (Bethlehem Steel, etc.) and I actually voted for it a few years back. I haven't followed MLB since the strike in the 90's but I do like to take the 20 minute drive to Coca Cola Park to watch the Pigs. Very entertaining and everything is reasonably priced. Give me the minor leagues any day. The Pigs are always one of the top drawing minor league teams in attendance, if not the top. By the way, pig iron is the intermediate product of smelting iron ore with a high-carbon fuel such as coke, usually with limestone as a flux. GO PIGS!!! Oh yeah, I do like that name Macon Whoopie.......do they have Whoopie Cushion give-away night?

I wasn't knocking it. I said it was among my favorite names.

 

[Turkey Lurkey]

Duuuuude, I just had a brainstorm!

For our Surprise trip to Disney for MNSSHP, if we dress up like characters from Sleeping Beauty, I should dress up as one of Maleficent's goons instead of Prince Phillip!


The outfit would be much more flattering than tights.


TL

brainstorm ownage!

 

[DisneyDadC]

I have come to Boast,
That I have One Thousand Posts!



With 1,000 I was Genuinely Bound,
To say something Really Profound.



What I Have isn’t to Bad,
It’s Awesome Being a DisDad!



So Don’t Linger
Hurry Up and Pull My Finger!



Does anyone want a peanut?

Did some one say something????? Always a step behind your Nemesis


Congrats on your milestone

 

[Cinderella's Fella]

Did some one say something????? Always a step behind your Nemesis


Congrats on your milestone

Thanks, Nemesis.

Thanks to everyone else too!

 

[IamTrike]

Heathen! Dare ye compare mana from heaven to the lowly heated pocket?

That's like comparing your grandma's homemade grits to Quaker instant oatmeal or whatever it is you people eat down south.

TL

you were close. It's like comparing Homemade grits to Quaker instant grits.

I love Jim Gaffigan's hot pocket bit.

Instructions on a "lean hot pocket"
1. Remove from package
2. Insert directly into toilet.


Conversations from the hotpocket restaurant:
Guest: I see you serve hotpockets, how do they come?
Waiter: Frozen in the middle
Guest: Do you serve them any other way.
Waiter: Ah yes, we also serve them burning lava hot.
Guest: Will it burn my tongue.
Waiter: It will destroy your tongue. Everything will taste like rubber for a month.

 

[RodBelding]

Duuuuude, I just had a brainstorm!

For our Surprise trip to Disney for MNSSHP, if we dress up like characters from Sleeping Beauty, I should dress up as one of Maleficent's goons instead of Prince Phillip!


The outfit would be much more flattering than tights.


TL

brainstorm ownage!

Like such?;

 

[FreezinRafiki]

you were close. It's like comparing Homemade grits to Quaker instant grits.

I love Jim Gaffigan's hot pocket bit.

Instructions on a "lean hot pocket"
1. Remove from package
2. Insert directly into toilet.


Conversations from the hotpocket restaurant:
Guest: I see you serve hotpockets, how do they come?
Waiter: Frozen in the middle
Guest: Do you serve them any other way.
Waiter: Ah yes, we also serve them burning lava hot.
Guest: Will it burn my tongue.
Waiter: It will destroy your tongue. Everything will taste like rubber for a month.

Breakfast Hot Pockets!!!

Good morning! You're about to call in sick!

 

[Turkey Lurkey]

you were close. It's like comparing Homemade grits to Quaker instant grits.

I went with oatmeal because it's kinda like grits, but not quite.

I love Jim Gaffigan's hot pocket bit.

Instructions on a "lean hot pocket"
1. Remove from package
2. Insert directly into toilet.


Conversations from the hotpocket restaurant:
Guest: I see you serve hotpockets, how do they come?
Waiter: Frozen in the middle
Guest: Do you serve them any other way.
Waiter: Ah yes, we also serve them burning lava hot.
Guest: Will it burn my tongue.
Waiter: It will destroy your tongue. Everything will taste like rubber for a month.

Breakfast Hot Pockets!!!

Good morning! You're about to call in sick!

"Have you tried the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It tastes like a Hot Pocket but it's a Hot Pocket!"

Like such?;

That's it exactly. I figure it's a easier costume to free up time to work on the Maleficent and Aurora ones.

Plus, DW will love that she can boss me around....


TL

 

[AirGoofy]

Preach it...all my DS16 has done for the week is watch about 15 different Movies. total waste...DS11 has had no class work either...field trips....field day...awards day...movies...of course he loves it.


that right there should end the whole "Should I take my kids out of School" Debate.

We have taken ours out over Memorial Day weekend when we had late make-up days. DW won't let me take them out in Feb when I want.

Well, based on the extensive research that has been assembled by the DIS Dad's I'd say it can be a variable measurement.

I would like the job of extensive hands-on researcher.

 

[Turkey Lurkey]

Preach it...all my DS16 has done for the week is watch about 15 different Movies. total waste...DS11 has had no class work either...field trips....field day...awards day...movies...of course he loves it.


that right there should end the whole "Should I take my kids out of School" Debate.

I can justify it very easily. Thanksgiving week is very lowkey in our area schools because that's deer hunting season in WI, and so many kids are out for it, that the teachers really don't bother with much of a lesson plan for the week. Wednesday is pretty much a write-off. If they can allow that, they better not say one word to me if I want to take my kid out for a family trip somewhere. Especially if I want to take her to a educational place like Disney.


Okay, somewhat educational.



TL

 

[Turkey Lurkey]

You know, I was thinking... (a dangerous pasttime, I know)

No that we have our own forum, we should do a yearly "awards" ceremony. The Golden Dole Whip Awards (aka the Whippies), for outstanding achievements in the field of DisDaddery. We can give them out for things like Best Trip Report, Best Put Down of Another DisDad, Best Picture of a Princess, Worst Pun (Berry might walk away with that one every year), etc.


Whadaya's think?


TL