DIS Dads The DIS Dad's Club IV - Man Laws & Cheese Balls

[dolphindan1]

Hi all...just joining the thread

 

[wasnotafan]

"It's a dog eat dog world Sammy, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear."

"Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

You only want to welcome a majority of them?

Ouch!!!
Good point though (obviously my inferior South Carolina education is going to be a continuous hindrance to social acceptability ).
I’ll just have to pay the Elementary schoolteacher’s penalty for using a word incorrectly in class:

I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse…




I’d like to welcome to the torrent of new members!!

 

[Disney Commando]

All new Dad's. WoW I see everyone got alot done at work today

 

[Disney Commando]

anyone got some good Chuck Norris? Chuck is so tough that when he was born he slapped the doctor. Give me more.

Chuck Norris invented KFC's famous secret recipe, with 11 herbs & spices, But nobody ever mention's the 12th ingredient - Fear

 

[Goofy + 3]

"Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."

How's it going, Mr Peterson?
Poor.
Sorry to hear that.
No, I mean pour.

 

[Disney Commando]

Well it looks like lightning does stike twice, Last night I was checking my lottery tickets from when we were in VA, seems like I had a really lucky Weds night.

For the 2nd year in a row, my trip has been paid for by the lottery

And my wife thinks I'm nuts

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Well it looks like lightning does stike twice, Last night I was checking my lottery tickets from when we were in VA, seems like I had a really lucky Weds night.

For the 2nd year in a row, my trip has been paid for by the lottery

And my wife thinks I'm nuts

COOL! I should be so lucky!


==========================

"What's new, Norm?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."

 

[Capt. Barbosa]

Courtesy of Rules of Engagment and Barney Stinson

THE BRO CODE :

1. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

2. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

3. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.

4. Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.

5. You must never own a cat.

6. If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

A. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
B. Your acquaintances.
C. Your co-workers.
D. The mailman.
E. The UPS guy.
F. NASA.
G. John Kerry.
....Z. Your girlfriend.

7. You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. (Mine are Dawson's Creek and Love, Actually). You may have no more. And if you like Grease, well, we're already too late.

8. Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.

9. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.

10. There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.

11. If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.

12. Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.

13. NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Hey, congratulations, another girl can stand the sight of you. You don't need to wear her like a ******* trophy.

14. It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."

15. Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.

? 16. Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. It doesn't matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds telling you that Jake Plummer was better than Steve McNair last season, let him be.

17. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.

18. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

19. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

20. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.
21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 bros.

22. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time

23. A bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

.

24. Bros do not lie about their age, exept to score with a slightly older chick who doesnt date younger guys.

25. A bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.

26. A bro should never carry a woman's handbag

27. A bro should never go tanning.

28. No bro should dye their hair

29. A bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"

30. A bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

31. A bro should not "pop" his collar.

32. A bro should not speak more than two languages.

33. A bro should never say "it's to die for"

34. A bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.

35. A bro should not wear an ascot.

36. A bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

37. A bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

38. A bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw

39. A bro should never wear a blouse.

40. If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.

41. A bro should not wear crocs.

42. A bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.

43. A bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders

44. A bro should not eat grapes from the vines

45. A bro should never rollerblade

46. The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone

47. If you compliment a bro on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

48. A bro should never, ever wear capri pants.

48. A bro should not wear flip flops with a suit.

49. No bro should wear a speedo to the beach

50. No bro should make a kissing face in a photo.

51. No bro should wear girl jeans

52. No bro should ever get a pedicure

53. A bro should never highlight his hair.

54. A bro should not talk to another bro in the bathroom.

55. A bro should never sing show tunes.

56. A bro should never eat out of another man's hands.

57.Two bro should not share an umbrella.

58. A bro should not have "an outfit".

59. A bro should not wear a white belt.

60. A bro should never wiggle out of a pair of pants

61. "A bro will, in a timely manner, alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight." A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged

63. A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has three times confirmed it's cool.

64. A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

65. If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's girlfriend's birthday and / or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

66. One Bro makes a solo chick attack.
A second Bro provides a crutch.
A third Bro rounds out the pack.
But a fourth Bro is one too much.

67. Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl's wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother.

68. A Bro shall honor his father and mother.

69. In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longe

70. In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity, including but not limited to; the high five, the first bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

71. A Bro much provide his bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.

72. A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the assumtion that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.

73. If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a "that sucks, man" and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

74. Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

75. If a Bro is on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possibly to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country.

76. "A Bro never cries."

77. "A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro." Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.

78. No sex with a bros Ex

79. No Eye contact in a Devils threesome ( 2 dudes)

80. Never make fun of a bros Girlfriend

81. No sex With a Bros Ex

82. No eye contact during a Devils Three Way (Two Dudes)

83. A bro must never call another bro just to chat

84. A Bro Must Never Saw "Awww"

85. A Bro must Never watch the movie Hope Floats

86. A Bro must be a fan of Mixed Martial Arts

87. A Bro must never take a bath regardless of being injured in a Backyard Wrestling Match

88. Leave No Bro Behind

89. When another bro is in a fight you must always have his back, unless he has done something recently which would deserve a beating then let him recieve a few shots then jump in

90. A bro must never leave without saying anything

91. A bro always be willing to do something awesome™

92. A bro must never chug any drink unless in a chugging contest

93. Bros must make small bets as often as possible

94. Bros must have a good time no matter what

95. Bros must make movies quotes as often as possible

96. Bros must watch the movie WEDDING CRASHERS at least once a month

97. Bros must watch the show entourage

98. Bros must never comment each other on myspace. If your comments are viewable on your profile it needs to be chicks only. Messeges only, but still never just to chat ( Rule 83)

99. A bro must never tell other bros he has a "broken heart"

100. A bro must never distract another bro while playing Guitar Hero.

101. A bro must never put smily faces in messeges, comments, texts etc.

102. If one Bro is an attorney, and another Bro finds himself in need of legal advice, Bro 1 will endeavor to provide said services free of charge.

103. Should a bro discover a new planet and/or orbiting body of subsequent planet, he shall not be allowed to name said astrological body after any girl

104. A Bro shall NEVER follow 'conventional' rules whilst playing the divine game of Battleship.

105. A bro must, at all times, suit up.
EXCEPTION: Funerals. A suit is a happy thing. If a bro must mourn, he shall do it in a white T-shirt.

106. A bro will always give a non-bro , if considerd worthy, a challange if said non-bro wants to join the brohood. The challange will be chosen by said bro, or other bros present.

107. A bro never hits another bro in the groin unless its a punishment for breaking The Bro Code.

108. Once a bro, always a bro. When/if The Bro Code is ever broken, said bro will do whatever the effected bro desires. If the second bro is unable to come up with anything, we shall revert to the rules of a Slap Bet, therefore the first bro will have to choose between ten slaps by effected bro or five slaps to be carried out at any point in time. If no bro is affected, his best bro must choose a modest punishment in public

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Is this wrong of me? we have a new kitten that is black brown and white. My family is calling it Snickers but I wnated to call it Figaro. WOuld it mess up the cat if I call it that while they call something elst or does it matter?

It's a cat. You can call it Dog, it won't know. Or care.

Hi all...just joining the thread

Welcome to the thread!

I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.
I will not abuse the English Language.

I hope you just copy/pasted this. That's the American way - lazy and easy!

 

[MiJo]

WOW!!! We have really grown by leaps and bounds today! WELCOME NEW DADS!!!

On another topic, completely unrelated to the new Dads, I took the plunge today and purchased an Aero-Stream Remediator Kit, in hopes it will miraculously repair our faulty septic system. This company gets tremendous reviews and the unit comes with a 100% money back guarantee. Has anyone had experience with one of these or does anyone know someone that has tried one? I'm really curious to see how well it works in our situation.

 

[doggydoc]

Man I feel so at home on this thread with all the "Go Dawgs!" comments. Never knew there were so many Mississippi State fans out there! Oh wait, you guys weren't talking about that school in that state I fly over to get to Disney were you?

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

I hope you just copy/pasted this. That's the American way - lazy and easy!

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but laziness is most certainly the illegitimate father (and I am nothing if not lazy ).

 

[dvczerfs]

Well it looks like lightning does stike twice, Last night I was checking my lottery tickets from when we were in VA, seems like I had a really lucky Weds night.

For the 2nd year in a row, my trip has been paid for by the lottery

And my wife thinks I'm nuts

cool beans commando!!!! youll have to let me know your room number in december, ill have to send the check from the bier garten over to you. are you sure you get to keep as much as you think???? your govenor is crying the blues, and so is the president. you may owe money before those two are done with you!!

 

[dvczerfs]

FED , FED , I SEE SOMEONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH FALLING OUT OF BOATS AND HE DIDNT TELL HIS FELLOW DIS DADS THE STORY??

 

[dvczerfs]

oh good, its thundering and lighting and raining again. first no rain for a month than for the next month you have to build an ark!!

 

[Disney Commando]

cool beans commando!!!! youll have to let me know your room number in december, ill have to send the check from the bier garten over to you. are you sure you get to keep as much as you think???? your govenor is crying the blues, and so is the president. you may owe money before those two are done with you!!

They take about 40% capital gain but even with that all those quarters I've been saving easily makes up the difference The funny thing was the winnings total was $78 more than the trip cost But there is still time maybe I can score another hit by then To cover train and other expenses

 

[DisneyDadC]

Welcome to all the new dads that have joined since I have been here last.

I see we are throwing out a few tidbits about ourselves.Well there is nothing special about me.
I was born in Germany
Also played some brass in high school.
Married my high school sweet heart, my life ended at that point.
Just kidding about the life ending part,will be married 20 yrs this July.
Been going to Disney since it opened,now own Dvc @ SSR.

I have seen since I have been gone lots of good things have happened to some and a few bad things to others.To sum it up in a nut shell .Congrats to the good things and my thoughts are with the bad.

Got my new phone( evo) so with my 4g network I should be able to keep up with you guys easier.

Ron we still need to try to meet up at SP. Fed stay safe over there.Don Hope our new place will be opening soon.Steve hope you get yourself healed up Dec is coming fast. Dave hope everything went ok with your wife.DaddyO I can smell what you are cooking hope everything is good in the restaurant business.Oh hell I know there are many more of you guys I need to check on but this is a start.

 

[GoHerd1028]

As we get more new members just send me a PM and tell me where you are from and I will get you added to the list.
Here is our updated list of where everyone is from or has been from at one time or another!!! Trying to expand our reach to all 50 states and as many different nations as possible New Additions are in Red

Where our DisDads are From!

Alabama
DisDr.

California
Stopher1, Cinderella'sFella, VivekB

Colorado
BigDisneyFan, Prattpak

Connecticut
That'sNice, CarrollChristoph

Delaware
Captain Oblivious

Florida
Zuperdave, Stopher1, CJ9200

Georgia
DisneyFed

Illinois
MiddlePat, Goofy+3, Cinderella'sFella, Illini Disney Guy
Indiana
Stopher1 and afwdwfan

Iowa
Wasnotafan

Kansas
AJRitz

Kentucky
AirGoofy, Kycruisecrazy

Louisiana
Bunch24

Maryland
Cinderella'sFella

Michigan
JoeMickey, Chllcoupons, MichMickey, Stopher1

Minnesota
DSNYFRK, Explodo

Missouri
UncleScrooge0707

New Jersey
Disney Commando

New York
ClearScreen, JoeMickey, ItsDisney, 1GrumpyJohn

North Carolina
Wolfpacklegion, Tutter99, BillyBobblockhead, rbenn81

Ohio
GoHerd1028, AJRitz, CarlFredrickson, Hannah'sDad

Pennsylvania
MiJo, DVCZerfs, KTME, Chillcoupons, DisneyDadC, Matt314hew, TheNextDisneyVillian, 1GrumpyJohn

South Carolina
DisneyFed, GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes, Marvali

Tennessee
Trennr, miTunes75
Texas
MrIncredible1980

Virginia
Goofy+3, DEA, Emma'sDad, BenA81

West Virginia
GoofyisasGoofyDoes, GoHerd1028


Wisconsin
FreezinRafiki


United Kingdom
Lawsontour

Canada
Tutter99, DisneyDadd-O, middlepat

Iraq
DisneyFed

Israel
AJRitz

Phillipines
Wasnotafan​

 

[GoHerd1028]

Man alive what a busy day it has been on here looks like Welcome to all of the new Dads that have found their way to our ranks!!!

Don...man you must have had a rough day at work today to be able to get accomplished everything on here that you did!! Thanks for planning to put the Where we are from list on the DDCV front pages...that will make it easier to update I think.

Carl...glad you popped in this evening...hope that your back is feeling better...

We took the kids to see Despicable Me this evening and I loved it Those little minions were hillarious! I think tomorrow will be a day for yard work eventhough the temps are supposed to be 100 or more...it has to be done! uuugh! I guess we are never happy with the weather. At least there is no more rain for a few days....things are still pretty rough in some areas here from the 7inches we got the other night.