The DDA Trouble Free Zone

[Tammi67]

Yes, he's been going for a year and a half, and will be getting his red belt next week. I hope your boys enjoy it.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Since it seems like many of you live close by your families, I thought maybe you might have a suggestion or two.

My SIL just contacted me, seeking advice on creating boundaries with the rest of our husbands' family. (DH is the youngest of 3 boys, and his parents, both brothers, and their wives and 2 children each all live in the Houston metro area - we live 300 miles away in the Dallas area. This SIL is married to the oldest brother of my DH.) They all tend to do a lot together, but my SIL is getting worn down from all of this, as it is usually her house they all gather at at the drop of a hat, etc. Her DH will complain on the side to her about his family and this, but won't stand up to anyone. Our DH's are very different - my DH draws boundaries very clearly with his family, plus we have the extra geographical cushion.

How do those of you with families that live in the same city draw/keep boundaries (particularly if it's your IL's)?

Thanks - I'm at a bit of a loss when she tells me her DH isn't much help.

I act like a witch!!!


j/k - is the problem that they always come to her house or just being with them - it will be hard for her to get out of this without looking bad - she could maybe suggest going to someone else's house - or tell them they have plans when thye don't want them to come over

it doesn't sound like her DH will set down the boundaries so the either have to beat around the bush about it or she can sit down with everyone and say we love you but it is too much for me to always have everyone over - can we take turns on where we go

do they

 

[tmfranlk]

Wow, you are a planner!!!

I read something Kate wrote yesterday..she mentioned that she doesn't put dates on her shirts since she like to wear them again..I wish I had thought of that before I made all those shirts for oct 05...Now I have to make all new shirts for this years trip. No dates this time!

I think that's what I'm going to do too. Since we plan to always go in early Dec we would be able to reuse most of our shirts and maybe only make a couple of new ones each year, plus those outgrown (or hopefully for me sometime soon - those too big).

 

[tmfranlk]

Nope, just me and the kids! I'd like to make them match even more for our next trip. When we all had on the same color we got the most remarks. Even if it wasn't the same design, the shirt colors matching got noticed. He will wear the same color shirt, just not a t-shirt. (ie red polo when we wear red t-shirts).

That's a good idea, Denise. We are taking a BIG family trip in May '07 with 12 of us. I am wondering if I'll be able to get the guys (all SILs) to wear shirts. I figure that I'll sneak the question in on a trip survey somewhere and hope to trick them into it. Of course, I don't think I'm going to be able to get my DH to even GO on the trip so I'm not going to complain too much if they won't wear made shirts...they can just match color wise.

 

[tink2020]

Tammi, it looks like you and I were posting at about the same time. Sounds very similar, hopefully I haven't confused her more.

Well, and then to add to the confusion, some of us start Kindergarten at 4 instead of pre-school.... and some people skip grades, etc. Or go through college in less (or more) time......

 

[tink2020]

Good morning/afternoon, DDA'ers!

I'm trying to catch up and work at the same time - you guys had a bit of a posting party last night!

Me - we went to see Jim Brickman last night. If you like him, or just piano music, I highly recommend you see him in concert! He was FABULOUS! We were actually supposed to see him in early December for more of a Christmas concert, but wouldn't you know it, that night we had an ice storm in the Dallas metroplex! And since we're in Texas and wimps when it comes to winter weather, there was no way we were traipsing across town. However, the great part - since over 75% of the audience wasn't able to make it that night, he just said - "I'll come back" - and they honored all of our old tickets - so we still got to see him 5th row center!

I LOVE Jim Brickman.... Too bad nobody around here will go with me!

 

[triplefigs]

Boy,having a 5th person really adds on to DVC. I can't do the one bdr, I have to get a 2 bdr. that means I'd need at least 300 points (or more) for summer, fall, and winter. I wish they'd let you put a 5th person in a one bdr. The kids would sleep on an air mattress. Any suggestions? Guess I'm looking at a 300 point purchase if we do it.

 

[tink2020]

I second that! I think it's a texture thing, but I can't eat bananas, peaches - anything "squishy". It freaks me out!

THANK YOU! My husband thinks I'm insane. Most things I don't like are definitely because of texture!

 

[Tinkaroo]

I act like a witch!!!


j/k - is the problem that they always come to her house or just being with them - it will be hard for her to get out of this without looking bad - she could maybe suggest going to someone else's house - or tell them they have plans when thye don't want them to come over

it doesn't sound like her DH will set down the boundaries so the either have to beat around the bush about it or she can sit down with everyone and say we love you but it is too much for me to always have everyone over - can we take turns on where we go

do they

In the past, it has been the "drop ins" at their house (and the staying beyond their welcome) - particularly by my other BIL/SIL and their 2 young kids, sometimes after 9 p.m. at night when her kids are usually already in bed! But, long story short, the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back was this weekend, when under pressure from the entire family, she had her daughter's 4th b-day party at a tea room, and then had to come home and cook a meal and have a "family" party at her house that same night since the men couldn't go to the tea party. She told me no one lifted a finger, and she felt like a caterer.

I still think it needs to be her DH that says something (they're his parents and brother after all, and it's best not to be painted as the witch), but I know she's at the boiling point - neither of us are very good at holding our tongues!

I've initially responded telling her to seriously sit her DH down and talk about this - and I might even say something to my DH about it, and maybe he can suggest something be done to his brother.

Any other suggestions - keep em coming!

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Boy,having a 5th person really adds on to DVC. I can't do the one bdr, I have to get a 2 bdr. that means I'd need at least 300 points (or more) for summer, fall, and winter. I wish they'd let you put a 5th person in a one bdr. The kids would sleep on an air mattress. Any suggestions? Guess I'm looking at a 300 point purchase if we do it.

I have good news for you

DVC has changed the policy and you can now have 5 people in a one bedroom!!!!

 

[triplefigs]

I have good news for you

DVC has changed the policy and you can now have 5 people in a one bedroom!!!!

Now I'm happier! Thanks, Kate!

 

[tink2020]

You all really know how to get my mind BACK on DVC, don't you? Cut it out! We have to buy a house first!

 

[tmfranlk]

okay - i have a DL question

how long is the HCOE going on out there - I need to decide when we would go on our trip and this would be a major factor!!!

I do not have DH totally convinced but he is thinking about it

here is my brilliant plan -

we are going to see my sister in Denver and I have the airtran wendy's coupons so the flights are paid for - so I was thinking we could fly to Denver - spend time at my sisters

I REALLY want to go to vegas - so we would drive the 8 hours to vegas - my cousin lives there so we could spend the night with her and leave the next evening for LA -

where his best friend and my aunt live - there would be no hotel expense involved for the whole week and we would get to visit so many people and see some of the places we want to go!!

So I am going to keep my fingers crossed that he thinks the plan is as briliant as I do

Originally it was supposed to end in May. However, my friend's husband is an upper level accountant for DL operations and is currently being asked to calculate the costs of extending the celebration through the end of the year. I'll keep you posted on any updates she might have.

 

[triplefigs]

Ok, is it better to do a resale at BWV/BCV or buy SSR? What if you KNOW you'd want to be at those vs SSR? and since I'm in GA and we go to HHI (Hilton Head) also and it is CHEAPER, should I look at a HHI resale?

Pros/Cons please. Any advice appreciated.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Ok, is it better to do a resale at BWV/BCV or buy SSR? What if you KNOW you'd want to be at those vs SSR? and since I'm in GA and we go to HHI (Hilton Head) also and it is CHEAPER, should I look at a HHI resale?

Pros/Cons please. Any advice appreciated.

do not buy HHI - they have higher annual dues

I have NEVER not gotten a resort I wanted if I called at the seven month window

I believe with the 15% discount - SSR is the same or cheaper than resale AND you get ten more years on your contract -

I think you really need to weigh the ten more years on your contract pretty heavily!!!!

 

[bear74]

Anyone need new house keys?
http://www.locknalarm.com/store/home.php?cat=1
Some of these are really cute. I guess there are some cheaper offers on ebay, but haven't checked into them yet.

way to cute.

 

[tmfranlk]

So based on my earlier post about a big family trip, I am contemplating shirts. The trip will be
Me, DD and maybe DH
Parents and DSis3
DSis1 and her DH, DD and DS
DSis2 and her DH

Would it be too much to have all of our shirts be the same color and design? I am contemplating having everyone have the same design and each "family unit" have the same color on a given day. Anyone have any thoughts? We probably won't be all together for more than a meal a day and a few major things like parades/shows, but I am hoping for a few good family photos.

Thanks!!

 

[bear74]

Here's my do...

After a few glasses of wine...I'm getting used to it...

Kristine

PS...It's lighter that it looks in the pic...

very nice Do. so sorry about the 4 hour chatty hair dresser.

 

[tink2020]

So based on my earlier post about a big family trip, I am contemplating shirts. The trip will be
Me, DD and maybe DH
Parents and DSis3
DSis1 and her DH, DD and DS
DSis2 and her DH

Would it be too much to have all of our shirts be the same color and design? I am contemplating having everyone have the same design and each "family unit" have the same color on a given day. Anyone have any thoughts? We probably won't be all together for more than a meal a day and a few major things like parades/shows, but I am hoping for a few good family photos.

Thanks!!

I think that sounds like a great idea! Then you'll all correlate, but you won't be a big mob in matching shirts (which, while I think is just fine, may turn some people in the party off from wearing them). That really would make great group photos!

 

[Tinkaroo]

do not buy HHI - they have higher annual dues

I have NEVER not gotten a resort I wanted if I called at the seven month window

I believe with the 15% discount - SSR is the same or cheaper than resale AND you get ten more years on your contract -

I think you really need to weigh the ten more years on your contract pretty heavily!!!!

Kate - have you usually traveled at more "off peak" times, or have you found you could get what you wanted during some of the earlier times as well?

I like the BCV/BWV a heck of a lot better than SSR, but that 10 years is awfully tempting.

Also, would you be able to get the 15% off if you did a resale (through Disney) of BCV/BWV, or is it restricted to SSR?