OOC: Here's the report! Doesn't include the recent murder, because I had already started writing this...
The past few days at Disney's Typhoon Lagoon haven't been very swell. On Wednesday, Giselle was found at Gangplank Falls, and was pronounced dead at the scene. It appeared she had her head crushed between rocks, before being dumped into one of the 4-person inner tubes used in the family raft ride, and sent around the 300ft waterslide. After searching the ride for clues, a piece of wood was found, seemingly dumped at the scene. On Thursday, another double murder occured, when Chip & Dale were fed to man-eating sharks at the Shark Reef. This man-made reef contains leopard and bonnethead sharks, along with sting rays and multiple species of tropical fish, and you are given the opportunity to snorkel in the waters. Both breeds of shark in the water are harmless, which means the ferocious sharks to attack Chip & Dale were introduced into the waters specifically for the murder. Originally, it was thought more guests or cast members were involved in the killings due to the large amount of what was thought to be blood throughout the waters. However, this was quickly discovered to be a red dye.
Her fiancé, Prince Edward, was devasted with the news. "This fiend is determined to destroy the beauty and goodness in the world, and so took my poor Giselle from it!" he sobbed when asked why he thought Giselle was murdered, before adding "I also thank all of you for your sympathy at this dreadful time, peasants.". Other park guests also have ideas for the reasons Giselle was targeted. Cinderella believes it's because murderers always go for the princesses because "They're just jealous". Alice was less than sure, saying "I guess the murderer had something against Giselle".
When asked why Chip & Dale were targeted, Prince Phillip said "I'm not sure. Maybe the killer doesn't like chipmunks, he doesn't like aliens or... princesses", before nervously glancing at his fiancée, Princess Aurora, who told us "They were such sweet little dears. If anyone, someone who isn't with all these nice people I've met, they could never murder anyone. I just can't bear to talk about these murders anymore too sad" before bursting into tears. Lumiere had a more unconventional theory, telling us that "their high pitched voices might have annoyed them".
Some park guests came up with theories for the slab of wood, and the red dye. Prince Edward believes it was a craftsman of some sort, and Alice believes it could be linked to my associate Pinocchio. Although I have been with him this entire trip, and being his conscience, I can say that he knows better than to go around murdering people! But I digress... Cinderella believes the wood could be related to a forest. For the red dye, most people agree that it could be related to someone who wears red clothing. There have also been accusations, from Snow White to Sleeping Beauty. At the moment, detectives are no closer to solving this problem, but this reporter hopes it is soon, before any more murders occur.
Finally, park management has confirmed that both Ganghaul Falls and the Shark Reef have reopened for the public, the latter having all harmful sharks taken out of the waters and transported to a tank in the Seas with Nemo & Friends pavillion at Epcot, seperate from the other animals. There are plans to rehabilitate these sharks using the highly successful "Fish are Friends, not Food" programme, and slowly introducing them into the 5.7 million gallon saltwater tank, originally the largest saltwater tank in the world, before the Georgia Aquarium opened in 2005.