The consequences of having snowflakes

[eeyore kelly]

Last school year we had trouble with a boy that rides my daughter's bus. This middle school boy is his mommy's precious snowflake and the bus driver was not an effective disciplinarian. My daughter was bullied and it wasn’t handled properly. By bullying, I mean her bag and purse was jumped on repeatedly and one time she was pulled out of her seat by several boys.
At the end of the year, I brought and picked her up from school.

This school year, I decided to keep a log of the harassment/ bullying. As of yesterday, the boy has logged 12 separate incidences of bullying behavior some involve spitting, others involve the flashing of weapons. As of today, this boy and his friends are not allowed at the bus stop. They will have a different bus stop. The boy and his parents are being called in to the office. Other consequences are taking place that cannot be discussed with me. I believe the resource officer and a suspension. I work in the local schools as a sub, so I know the protocol.

If this mom would see that her son is a child who can do wrong, and not a snowflake, she and I could have handled it like neighbors. They live right next door. She could have disciplined him and restricted his free time and activities, and I could have kept her abreast. Instead, her snowflake is getting in a lot of trouble today.

BTW, I am the mean, old hag as they call me. Sometimes the mom calls me something else that rhymes with [edited]. If she posted on this board I am sure it would read “That hag has it out for my baby.”

The only snowflakes I have are my kitty kats.

 

[luvmy3]

I couldn't get past the fact that this student is showing weapons and is still allowed in school.

If you weren't in LA I would think you were me neighbor down the street. Her dd was going through something very similiar with a neighbor boy and the mother was constantly ignoring the behavior. The thing was he was a spec. ed student so there was no discipline from the teacher and administration, that seems to be the norm for these students at our school
Anyway it took him attacking a teacher near the end of the year for the mom to wake up. He wasn't suspended but he was only allowed in school during certain hours and thankfully for the little girl (and I'm sure others) he tormented he is no longer attending our school.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Good for you for being persistent in protecting your daughter (and ultimately helping other targets as well!). If being a good mom makes you a hag, well let us ALL be that kind of hag. I'd wear the label proudly. And the mom sure is a good role model for the son, eh? Potty mouth.

 

[eeyore kelly]

They advised me next time to call the police, and I will. Do I want to torture this kid? No. However, my daughter deserves a safe enviroment. I am happy to bide my time and keep doing the up the chain thing. He will stop. If it takes explusion or a dentention center, he will stop.

The good thing about this is my teenagers get to see the correct way to handle something like this, and learn that a quick fix isn't going to always happen.

 

[Kim&Chris]

So this kid is flashing weapons? And he's still permitted to go to this school?

I don't blame you for doing what you're doing. My sister faces some of the same issues with her DD bus. I wish she would be as persistent as you are.

Have the police been called about the weapons issue?

ETA: You typed the exact answer to my question above (we were probably typing at the same time, lol)

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

You lost me with the snowflakes...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sorry about your dd, that must be so awful to have that stress in your life.

My precious snowflake, 13yodd went to school with cramps. I am evil. Yes she was late however she is at school. I really feel bad for her but she just cannot miss school. I got her breakfast and motrin.

I just want a day of normal. Does anyone here ever have those anymore?

 

[jx3smom]

Wow, I can't believe the kid is still in school with the weapons. I just can't get past that!

 

[punkin]

You lost me with the snowflakes...

Yeah, I don't get it either.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Good for you for being persistent in protecting your daughter (and ultimately helping other targets as well!). If being a good mom makes you a hag, well let us ALL be that kind of hag. I'd wear the label proudly. And the mom sure is a good role model for the son, eh? Potty mouth.

I am very okay with being the hag next door and other things as well.

You lost me with the snowflakes...

snowflakes- perfect children who can do no wrong and should be indulged by the world. Not indulging a snowflake is considered rude. Normal rules do not apply to snowflakes as far as parents are concerned.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Wow, I can't believe the kid is still in school with the weapons. I just can't get past that!

The weapons stay at the bus stop. Only my child and I have seen them. Well, his friends too, but they aren't going to tell.

 

[luvmy3]

They advised me next time to call the police, and I will. Do I want to torture this kid? No. However, my daughter deserves a safe enviroment. I am happy to bide my time and keep doing the up the chain thing. He will stop. If it takes explusion or a dentention center, he will stop.

The good thing about this is my teenagers get to see the correct way to handle something like this, and learn that a quick fix isn't going to always happen.

Next time to call the police? why weren't they called when he flashed a weapon, I thought all schools now have a zero tolerance policy

If he is showing weapons now, whats going to happen *next time*

 

[krcit]

I can't believe that they still allow him on the bus. I can tell you that he would be barred from the bus in our district. I hope everything works out OP.

 

[agnes!]

You lost me with the snowflakes...

It is short-hand DIS-slang reference to children whose parents believe (usually strongly, loudly and strenuously) that their offspring are 'special little snowflakes' of perfection inside and outside the classroom. In terms of social behavior these parents act as if their children are misunderstood and perfect little angels who can do no wrong.. when usually they are simply incipient little juvenile delinquents whose parents have their head in the sand about the serious nature of the situation.

I have also seen the term in conjunction with "helicopter parenting".

agnes!

ETA: For an additional definition see this post up-thread from the OP, eeyore kelly:

...snowflakes - perfect children who can do no wrong and should be indulged by the world. Not indulging a snowflake is considered rude. Normal rules do not apply to snowflakes as far as parents are concerned.

 

[dawson5]

we had to deal with incidents of bullying when my oldest DS was in 6th grade. I did not find out about it until more than half way through 7th grade. Bus driver, assistant principal and transportation superintendant were useless. I did learn one thing from it all, they have cameras and calling the day of the incident, as soon as possible, they can pull the tapes for review. You haven't mentioned this, I assume you know because of your work with the school. It might help with future incidents, especially if the police are called.

for you and your DD. I hope all works out well, that your child can go to school for the education she deserves, with out harassment and that the boy can get the help that he obviously will need. I think when my DS was being bullied, I read that a large percentage of bullies will end up in jail by the age of 24, without early intervention.

 

[eeyore kelly]

I read that a large percentage of bullies will end up in jail by the age of 24, without early intervention.

He is headed that way.

I wish things would move faster, but I am glad things are moving. 4 years ago, you could not get this school to do anything about bullies.

It helps that I keep a log, send detailed emails, and take pictures with my camera phone. They said that a young man who comes to the bus stop, but does not go to our school does not go to the bus stop. Well, they did until I took a picture of him there on two different days.

I think some of it is me. I make sure I have proper documentation, plenty of details and "proof." I don't want to the school to be able to dismiss my accounts or think I am picking on the students.

I also warn the young men and let them know of any rules they are breaking the first time it happens. However, I document that too. After the first time it shows willful disobedience.

 

[dnarkie]

The weapons stay at the bus stop. Only my child and I have seen them. Well, his friends too, but they aren't going to tell.

Just curious, what type of weapon is he "flashing" that can be left at the bus stop?

 

[eeyore kelly]

Just curious, what type of weapon is he "flashing" that can be left at the bus stop?

Knives and machetes. He brings them to the bus stop, flashes them walks to his driveway and lays them in the yard or gives them to his friend, who does not even go to DMS, to bring back to his house.

 

[Jennasis]

Knives and machetes. He brings them to the bus stop, flashes them walks to his driveway and lays them in the yard or gives them to his friend, who does not even go to DMS, to bring back to his house.

Take a picture of him doing this and show it to the parents, the school and the cops.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Take a picture of him doing this and show it to the parents, the school and the cops.

That is the plan. I wish I would have started using the phone earlier. However, I won't show it to the parents, but I will make an extra copy and give it to the school to give to the parents.

If it happens again, which history point to that it will. Hopefully, it will all die down for a while.