Chapter Thirteen:
First, some housekeeping: A big: You Totally Rock, Dude! to Javamom for the sweet avatar she created for me. Ive never met you; never had a conversation with you and wouldnt know you if you walked into my study right now. But youre good people. The avatars you created for me, for Vettechick and Mel Happyhaunt are really cool. I sincerely appreciate the time you spent doing that for me. And Javamom, dont worry about finding a new job and being able to take your family to Disney World. We reap what we sow in this life, and you have sown generosity. Surely God has observed that. Fear not.
Now then. This was our last day in Disney World. Normally, our last day consists of grand but unrealized plans. We always plan to swim and ride the Monorail and go to Downtown Disney and enjoy the place before we leave. Suck out the bottom of the Slurpee and all. Thats what we plan anyway. Instead, we normally sleep until five minutes before check out and then rush around to get everything packed. We never swim and if we go to DTD its for an hour and we race around grabbing all kinds of crap.
In order to avoid some of the usual last day blues, this trip we planned to do things differently. No swimming planned on the last day. Once youve won Olympic Gold, theres no real rush to get back into the pool.
I had invited my mom to come up and spend the day with us. She used to enjoy Disney very much but as she has gotten older, she enjoys it less and less. Too much walking. So I promised to keep the walking to a minimum and I promised she wouldnt have to even see the inside of one of the parks. I also told her wed pay for everything. I told her to come up early and I would take her to breakfast. This was a dual treat. I knew my mom would appreciate some time with just me and I knew my wife would appreciate some extra time to sleep.
When we were kids and my parents were married, we went to Disney World at least once a year, and frequently more than once. We almost always stayed at the Days Inn. However, one year, we stayed at the Polynesian Village. It was one of our favorite trips and everyone in my family has strong memories from that trip. So although PORiverside has a sit down restaurant, I decided to take my mom to the Polynesian to eat at Kona instead. If the Clampetts can dine at the Grand Floridian, then the Zzubs can eat at the Poly.
I got up early and took a shower and made sure all of my stuff was packed. My wife and daughter were sleeping soundly so I tried to be extra quiet. I had no reason to wake them early on this day. I kissed my wife and told her I would call on our way back. I grabbed my DVMC mug and left on my last coffee walk.
I opened the door and there hanging on the handle was the most insulting, most hateful, most despicable thing I have ever seen in all of my life. Inside the Hanging Envelope of Death was the final score of this battle for my wallet. I felt sick. Sad. I took it off the handle and walked back into our room, or so it was for the next few hours, and put the Hanging Envelope of Death in my carry on bag. Id look inside later. Besides, we had a whole day left at Disney and many more opportunities to defend my wallet. Maybe that wasnt the final score after all.
The sun was bright already and I could tell it was going to be another warm day. As I walked towards the food court I contemplated the great weather we had that week. We were very fortunate. I walked across the bridge and tried not to wax nostalgic. It had been a great week, the culmination of months of planning and dreaming, but it wasnt over yet. We had all day still. In fact, one of the ways I made sure we wouldnt bag out on that last day and leave for my sisters house early was to make reservations at Boma for dinner. Boma is my sisters favorite place to eat. Wed never eaten there and I was really looking forward to it.
I had some time to kill before my mom was going to meet me in front of the main PORiverside building, so I went into the food court and refilled my mug. Which is my right for life or until 2042.
I fixed my brown water served warm and walked around the gift shop one more time. I didn't buy a dang thing! That's one point for the Zzub.
Disney: 135 Zzub: 2
I walked out front to wait for my mom. I leaned against a post and savored the smell of Disney; the sights. Why do we love it so much? What makes us want to come back?
While I was standing there drinking from the Mug of Life; a Magical Express bus pulled up and began to unload. I hated those people. Those stupid people with their strollers and carry on bags, clutching their little travel folders filled with confirmation numbers and trip itineraries. They were salt in my wound; the final insult. Despite my scowl, they looked so happy; so filled with joy and anticipation for the days ahead. I hated them more. If schadenfreude is enjoying the bad fortune of others, I was experiencing Disneyfreude: feeling bad because other people were happily arriving at Disney World.
Then the guilt set in; the moral crisis. I knew it was wrong to hate people simply because their vacation was beginning and mine was ending. It was small and petty. Like Robert Reisch. I knew I should be grateful for the trip we got to enjoy and all the memories Ill forever keep. Blah, blah, blah. I still hated them. Even so, I knew I shouldnt be jealous. I remembered that just a week before I was getting off that bus and there was probably someone standing around who saw my family and me with my carry on and he hated me. That shouldnt have made me feel better but it did. That was schadenDisneyfreude: feeling good because someone else felt bad about me feeling good.
Eventually, my mom arrived. We hugged and kissed and then headed over to Kona for breakfast. I had promised my mom we wouldnt do a lot of walking, so I valet parked her car for her. I told the CM who took the car keys for me that we probably wouldnt be very long so she might want to keep the car up close. She said she would and we walked inside.
I know the Polynesian has changed since we stayed there so many years ago, but when the doors opened, it was like we walked back into the 1970s. Not in a bad way. Not in a Brady Bunch way. Im saying it reminded me so strongly of that great vacation from when I was young and my parents were still married and my biggest concern was whether I was going to get a Donald Duck hat or mouse ears. Tikiman could tell you everything that has changed about the Polynesian, but that day, in my mind, it was very much the same. And that was a good thing.
We went upstairs to Kona and were immediately seated. Our server was super nice and we were treated very well. It was the exact opposite of the night before at 50s Prime Time. I had the Tonga Toast because I read these stupid boards and people lust over that stupid Toast as if it was the birth of your child, Christmas Day and high school graduation all rolled up in a cinnamony treat. It was, in fact, pretty freaking fantastic. Tina would definitely have eaten it. It was so good that when it was over, I was sad.
My mom had regular French toast and a side of fruit which she seemed to enjoy. I was mad she hadnt ordered the Tonga Toast because she didnt finish her regular French toast and if she ordered the Tonga Toast, then I could be having more of it. I had DisneyTongaToastenfreude.
We walked around the Great Ceremonial House (or is it Grand?) a bit to check it out and then out front to retrieve our car. The valet CM showed me where it was. She hadnt moved it very far at all, but rather left it right up front for me. She also didnt charge me. She said, I knew you wouldnt be here long, so I just left it up here for you. I gave her a HUGE tip. Well, not HUGE, but Huge anyway. She can afford to eat at Arby's now.
That's such a white trash joke, I'm embarrased I made it.
And yet, I didn't delete it. Go figure.
We drove back to PORiverside and I helped my wife carry all of our stuff down the stairs and we loaded up my moms car and my sisters van. Although my wife and I both did a walk around our room in Parterre Place to make sure we had everything, neither one of us noticed the night light we left behind. It was a week later before we realized that my daughters blue star night light was missing. So if you check into a room in Parterre Place and there is a blue star nightlight; youll know the Zzubs were there. Id dust the place with Lysol if I were you.
We headed to the Contemporary so our kids could ride the Monorail again. We valet parked the vehicles and went up to the fourth floor and pulled up some chairs in the Outer Rim Lounge. Isnt that where all parents take their toddler children? Actually, I wrongly thought the Outer Rim also served coffee. My wife who has been to Disney World half as many times as I have and who has NEVER read these stupid boards kept telling me that you could only buy coffee from the espresso bar by the front desk. Imagine my chagrin when we got to the Outer Rim and discovered she was right and I was wrong. I was horrified. What does it mean when a true Disney Nerd gets outnerded by his wife? I looked to the east because I knew Jesus return was imminent.
After we fetched coffee from Contemporary Grounds, we walked up to the Monorail platform and hopped on for a ride. No one else was on the platform and we got the front with no problem. But for the CM who was slightly less interesting than a geometry teacher, it was a lot of fun. Somewhere around the TTC my daughter took on a mood. No one knew why. It was gone by the Grand Floridian. I didnt press the issue.
We returned to the Contemporary and retrieved our cars and headed to DTD. Although my mom and I were still full from breakfast, everyone else was hungry. So we headed to Earl of Sandwich for lunch. Because we had split meals earlier in the week, we still had 4 CS credits left. So we bought four sandwiches with chips and drinks and we all split them. It worked out perfectly. We also picked up two brownies. Those shouldnt have been as good as they were. Earls is very good and I highly recommend it. The sandwiches are tasty and the atmosphere is very pleasant.
After lunch we walked around DTD and spent some more of my hard earned money on crap we didnt need but thought we wanted. Sure, the Mickey Mouse salt and pepper shakers seemed like a good idea at the time. If youd like a set of your own, come by my house this summer. Theyre just one of many items in the Disney section of our yard sale.
We killed a couple of hours down there and then headed to the Animal Kingdom Lodge. We explored a little bit of the AKL and looked at some of the animals. I can see why people like AKL so much. We walked down towards Boma. The smell greeted us like an old friend. Boma smells VERY good. Although the place was mostly empty, for some reason we were asked to wait. I actually didnt mind. I was enjoying the anticipation and I was enjoying the aroma. While my family was waiting in the lobby, I walked to the different food stations and surveyed the place.
I dont have much of an adventurous appetite. I like meat and potatoes. I dont like strange dishes. I dont like grasshoppers. So Boma was never high on my list of places to eat. But then my sister ate here a few times and she raved about it. The fanatics on these Boards also rave about it. Besides, even if the whole meal was terrible, Id at least enjoy the Zebra Domes, right? You cant not enjoy chocolate. Cross out the double negatives and it makes sense.
While I found Le Cellier and Akershus underwhelming; Boma was like Cinderellas Royal Table and actually exceeded my expectations. And while I didnt like everything I tried, I liked a whole lot more than I thought I would.
But if I loved Boma, and I did, it was mainly for one reason. And not the one you think.
Mulligatawny!
Not only was the soup wonderful, but it was made by one of the truly great soup artisans of our time. It was fun to eat and even more fun to pronounce. I had a third bowl just so I could say I was going up to get more Mulligatawny. I recommended it to everyone at my table, and the two tables next to us, for the same reason.
Sadly, however, I felt a fullness settling in and I hadnt even started on dessert. I didnt finish my third bowl of Mulligatawny. Although I was enjoying the soup and enjoying saying Mulligatawny, I was nearing a Thanksgiving full and there were Domes to be had. It was with some remorse that I left my bowl of Mulligatawny half eaten and walked towards the dessert bar. Some might say I was experiencing MulligaZebraDomafreude: the sadness you feel when the soup youre enjoying is making you too full to enjoy the chocolaty treat you came all the way to the other side of the property to enjoy in the first place. Others would tell me to just burp and make room for the Dome.
After a while, the waitress brought me the bill and we paid for our last dinner on the Free Dinning Plan. I was sad. Morose. Despondent and three other words that mean the same thing. No more Free Dinning for the Zzubs and no more Mulligatawny.
I signed the bill, turned it over and slid it across the table. This time I didnt laugh.
Our week was over.
Next time: The Epilogue
