That dance- advice needed

[Serena]

Ok, so I like to dance and I'll probably go back. But that man will be there. He said he's there all the time.

Either I find another place to go to, or I figure out how to deal with him and other's like him.

So, for the questions.

Do you have to invite someone to sit down, even if they are standing by the chair by the table and won't leave?

What do you do when they scoot there chair right next to yours, and you don't like it?

What do you do when the guy is spitting on you?

What do you do when he tells you he's not there for sex?

What do you do when he keeps hinting that he doesn't want to drive home that night?

And why don't they have couches in the women's restroom? We need a place to hide.

 

[ilovepcot]

OMG!! I've misses a WHOLE LOT! Is there another post of yours that will get me up to speed with this???

 

[TigerBear]

OMG is right. I think you are just going to have to be direct with him: "I'm sorry but I am just not interested". Glad you had fun otherwise!!

 

[Serena]

LOL, I'm not sure I put everything in the original thread. I'll go see if I can bump it up.

 

[Chrissi Pooh]

Ok I will try this....

If he is standing next to the chair and won't leave politely tell him you are holding it for someone when he asks who tell him "oh you can't see my friend (enter name here) sitting there" and give him a surprised look!

When he scoots his chair next to yours say excuse me you are using up all my oxygen please move away!

When he spits yell out "Watch out, the camel spits" and watch his face!

If he says he's not there for sex HE REALLY IS!!!! Tell him you are and see what he says......go with it, tell him you will meet him outside in 20 and then dip out the side door!!!

Give him a quarter and tell him to call someone who cares....your not his mother or his wife!!!

Couches in the restroom??? That probably has something to do with being sanitary!

 

[Laurabearz]

I have found a simple GO AWAY works wonders.

Ok.... read the first post... so basicly this guy asked you to dance one dance and then hung around you the rest of the night.... is that about right? I am guessing you didnt know he spit before you said yes....

If you see him at the next dance and he approaches you... I would be cordial and excuse myself.... I would then walk over to someone I was interested in and explain that your trying to get away from the other guy and if the cutie wouldnt mind dancing with you to help bail you out.....

Or you could Queer Eye the loser... and see what you get....

 

[Maleficent13]

Originally posted by Laurabearz
If you see him at the next dance and he approaches you... I would be cordial and excuse myself.... I would then walk over to someone I was interested in and explain that your trying to get away from the other guy and if the cutie wouldnt mind dancing with you to help bail you out.....

Excellent suggestion!

 

[Serena]

Good suggestion, and I guess if I get desperate I could do it, or I guess I could just go sit in the car.

Today this just seems all to much for me. I'm not ready for this.

 

[ilovepcot]

With a "hanger-on", you can always nod in the general direction of several women and say, "Why, I believe no one has asked those ladies to dance. It'd be sooo nice if you would"! I'd then smile and stroll away.

For the next escape, I'd glance at my watch and reply, "Oh, time to phone and check on my 5 little ones and my Mom. I'm sooo lucky she lives with us"!!!

 

[Laurabearz]

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) It does get easier....

 

[Serena]

LOL, I did tell him I wanted to rest during one song and told him to go ask someone else.

but I like the 5 kids and mom living with me. Maybe I'll add that I'm looking for someone to support all of us.

Maybe I could tell him I'm gay.

 

[nativetxn]

My sister always told guys like this that her 8 children would love to meet him.

Worked like a charm everytime

 

[Serena]

8 kids?

 

[aprincessmom]

Do you have to invite someone to sit down, even if they are standing by the chair by the table and won't leave?

No but you should let them know that the bus no longer stops here so they'd be better off waiting over there where the bus does stop.

What do you do when they scoot there chair right next to yours, and you don't like it?

Say "HEY! you're squashing Harvey!" and leave in a huff.

What do you do when the guy is spitting on you?

Say "Can I have your address so I know where to send my dry cleaning bill?"

What do you do when he tells you he's not there for sex?

Say "That's too bad because I am" and walk away.

What do you do when he keeps hinting that he doesn't want to drive home that night?

Give him the number to a local taxi company

And why don't they have couches in the women's restroom?

Because then there'd be an even bigger line to get into the ladies room!

Seriously, just politely tell him/them you aren't interested. If they continue to bother you, find someone from the organization throwing the dance and tell them the situation. I'm sure the last thing they want is for word to get out that the experience was unenjoyable.

 

[Serena]

Ok, I've figured out one thing. I can't just be nice to someone to keep from hurting them at the expense of me.
I'm going to have to learn to stand up for myself. I mean at what point do I decide enough is enough.

My night was less fun because I was too nice. In fact I was scared to go back because of it. Not because of how he acted, but because I didn't put a stop to it.

Well, I don't know about you all, but I'm feeling better. lol

Now, I just have to put it into practice. next time I get brave enough to go back that is.

 

[Serena]

 

[momsgonwild]

Hi Laurie! Girl, you are worrying way too much. If you really liked the place you went, then definitely go back. There is always going to be a guy like this where ever you go. He is the shark on patrol, and your the little nice guppy. If he asks you to dance, just tell him. "No thank you"! You may have to be insistent.
If he sits down at your table, excuse yourself to go to the restroom, and disappear for a while. Dance with others, go to the restroom, go sit at another table with your friends. Worse case scenerio, tell him you are not interested, that you have been through alot, and that you are not ready for anything but an occasional dance. Usually they will take the hint after awhile.
Doesn't hurt if you could get another guy to sit at your table. This usually takes the wind right out of their sails! Don't give up,
you deserve to have some fun WHEREVER you want to go.
Good Luck!

PS We used to just sit on the counters in the restroom and talk.
You can really get an education in there!