That age-old issue - your non-Disney friends want to join you at Disney

[2vets]

I have a dear friend from home who is trying to invite herself for a day/night on an upcoming trip with just me and my sister. It's like, the worst case scenario. Not staying onsite when you'll have been there for days before they arrive, wanting to fly in in the morning and join us for a park day (DSis and I are annual passholders, and the day my friend wants to join us is a day that we were planning to splurge on premier passes plus individual LLs in another park), and we have Geo-82 res for 2 already booked, and no way will be able to change those. To be clear, I adore my friend, I absolutely love her to pieces, but I am not good at doing a relaxed WDW day like she is proposing. I have a long, expensive flight when I go, and I prefer to respect that investment and have a PLAN when I arrive. I am SURE I sound awful, but it's just - this is one of my few happy, stress-free places to go.

I have my friend talked down in lieu of a beach day or an Xmas party later in the year (Xmas party might be ideal if she really wants to do WDW for a day because it is an all-in cost, it doesn't really matter where she stays, and there is a ton going on that can be approached in a relaxed manner), but I still have a pang of guilt. I'm curious - to my Disney veterans out there - what are your "so-and-so wants to crash my trip" stories, and how did you approach this?

 

[dreamer17555]

I would love for you to join us but we already have reservations for things! Lets plan another trip together instead

 

[LoveToDisney]

You are so lucky to have friends who want to travel with you. I would not want to mix a friend’s trip with your sister trip either. Just let her know that adding another person to your sister trip is not an option and then concentrate on your plans to add a friend’s trip with her as you have mentioned. Don’t feel bad…concentrate on the joy of planning a relaxed trip with your friend at a later date.

 

[Disturbia]

I have a dear friend from home who is trying to invite herself for a day/night on an upcoming trip with just me and my sister. It's like, the worst case scenario. Not staying onsite when you'll have been there for days before they arrive, wanting to fly in in the morning and join us for a park day (DSis and I are annual passholders, and the day my friend wants to join us is a day that we were planning to splurge on premier passes plus individual LLs in another park), and we have Geo-82 res for 2 already booked, and no way will be able to change those. To be clear, I adore my friend, I absolutely love her to pieces, but I am not good at doing a relaxed WDW day like she is proposing. I have a long, expensive flight when I go, and I prefer to respect that investment and have a PLAN when I arrive. I am SURE I sound awful, but it's just - this is my one of my few happy, stress-free places to go.

I have my friend talked down in lieu of a beach day or an Xmas party later in the year (Xmas party might be ideal if she really wants to do WDW for a day because it is an all-in cost, it doesn't really matter where she stays, and there is a ton going on that can be approached in a relaxed manner), but I still have a pang of guilt. I'm curious - to my Disney veterans out there - what are your "so-and-so wants to crash my trip" stories, and how did you approach this?

I know the feeling (I’m kicking myself for being convinced - I did refuse initially).

If they’re naive enough to think WDW is similar to a beach vacation, put your foot down and DO NOT agree to it. You can plan a trip together later (or not one to WDW).

Neither one of you will be able to relax and it adds so much stress.

I agree the after hours or parties are better for newbies as you don’t need anything reserved.

 

[nursejackie]

I managed to get a run Disney 10k bib, and when I told my best friend (who has been 3 times to WDW), she offered to come with me. Then, she said 'shall we go somewhere else after the race?' erm no! But I said 'yes, sure' and wanted to kick myself. Anyway travel restrictions in 2021 meant the race was cancelled. I am applying next year, but going solo. The only person who will know in advance of the trip is my mum (travelling from UK). I like to immerse myself in the bubble

 

[pooch]

Taking a mother/daughter trip in September and my husband is NOT invited!!! He would go but does not enjoy it so I’d spend the whole trip trying to make him happy. In the end, we’d both be miserable. DD will run around doing anything & everything I want. Disney trips with non Disney people are not fun!!!!

 

[clh2]

Call me on old fuddy-dud…DON’T DO THIS! NO SENSE WRECKING YOUR VACATION FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR IDEA OF A VACATION.

I have had the opportunity to travel with SIL/BIL to things like family weddings. They cannot move quickly in the morning. And then I’m stuck balancing them not moving, with my husband who has been starving since 6am. It is not fun managing two diverse sets of priorities.

 

[2vets]

Just - thank you all for not thinking I'm a jerk!! I have been to Disney with this friend before, about 12 years ago, and the whole time, it was all about what we should be doing and how she has done this or that cheaper. I didn't want to do it cheaper, you know? I had budgeted and planned and gotten a great rate to stay in a great room (that I was covering, so I was even more annoyed), and I was just ready to scream after a while. Like, if I wanted to do Disney cheaper, I'd have stayed home and watched Samantha Brown reruns. I'd rather cut 2 days off of my trip and do it bougie-r, and you invited yourself, so...

But I do love her and think the Xmas party with her would be a freaking blast. I hope she joins me in Nov!

 

[mamarachel429]

Or you could ask her to come but tell her that you want to do your own thing and already had it planned... that might not work but thought I would suggest

 

[2vets]

Taking a mother/daughter trip in September and my husband is NOT invited!!! He would go but does not enjoy it so I’d spend the whole trip trying to make him happy. In the end, we’d both be miserable. DD will run around doing anything & everything I want. Disney trips with non Disney people are not fun!!!!

Call me on old fuddy-dud…DON’T DO THIS! NO SENSE WRECKING YOUR VACATION FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR IDEA OF A VACATION.

I have had the opportunity to travel with SIL/BIL to things like family weddings. They cannot move quickly in the morning. And then I’m stuck balancing them not moving, with my husband who has been starving since 6am. It is not fun managing two diverse sets of priorities.

You two are basically me. That is all.

@pooch my DH is the same. We are going together in April, and I added 2 solo days to ensure I can actually do all the things I want!

 

[pooch]

You have to be a special kind of crazy to be us!!!

 

[pooch]

This is part of the trip planner I’ve sent to my DD!



Caveats/unknowns revolve around sleep schedules and stamina. The later our party arrives, the less time to accomplish our goals. Be aware, a choice between food and attractions will ALWAYS default to attractions!! You should be building up your stamina now. Long days with little to no food will be the norm!!
BRIEF restroom/water breaks will be allowed only if time permits!!!




Watch for TP Issue 3 on newsstands soon!

 

[gottalovepluto]

Just - thank you all for not thinking I'm a jerk!! I have been to Disney with this friend before, about 12 years ago, and the whole time, it was all about what we should be doing and how she has done this or that cheaper. I didn't want to do it cheaper, you know? I had budgeted and planned and gotten a great rate to stay in a great room (that I was covering, so I was even more annoyed), and I was just ready to scream after a while. Like, if I wanted to do Disney cheaper, I'd have stayed home and watched Samantha Brown reruns. I'd rather cut 2 days off of my trip and do it bougie-r, and you invited yourself, so...

But I do love her and think the Xmas party with her would be a freaking blast. I hope she joins me in Nov!

You handled it perfectly! And I think the Xmas party is a good price barrier to entry so to speak. Best chance at bang for buck and if she’s still annoyed at the expense of everything maybe your future trips will be safe from her.

Just make sure if she joins you in your hotel room she pays her half! There is a whole guilt thing that goes down when traveling with friends and you picked the hotel because it was kinda your trip- but you gotta rise above that. You aren’t getting the benefit of the room to yourself, so the cost can darn well be split!

 

[Neener16]

Do not feel the least bit guilty. Disney is not one of those places where you can easily meet up with people in the middle of the day. If you have to, lie and say you did that once before with another friend, and it was just too complicated. First of all, you don’t even know what time they’re going to get in, things could be delayed etc. As you know, the best laid plans at Disney end up having to be changed, rides breaking down, etc. One of my sisters on a previous family trip made plans with a cousin to meet up at a certain time. So basically your whole day centers around making sure you were available for that time. Long story short, I was the only one that showed up to meet the cousin and the rest of my family strolled in like 45 minutes later. Trips to Disney are too expensive to unnecessarily complicate things by introducing someone else to the trip.

 

[Indio]

We agreed to go with some of my husbands family 20 years ago. We're up and out early. It took them HOURS every morning to get up and get ready. We ended up eating without them every morning because they took so long and my kids were starving. By the 3rd morning, we left them and told them to call us when they got to the parks. They also didn't budget enough money for food so we ended up having to eat food from outside the parks in the parking lots instead of eating onsite. LOTS of wasted time. We were miserable. Obviously, that was a one and done for us!

 

[2vets]

You handled it perfectly! And I think the Xmas party is a good price barrier to entry so to speak. Best chance at bang for buck and if she’s still annoyed at the expense of everything maybe your future trips will be safe from her.

Just make sure if she joins you in your hotel room she pays her half! There is a whole guilt thing that goes down when traveling with friends and you picked the hotel because it was kinda your trip- but you gotta rise above that. You aren’t getting the benefit of the room to yourself, so the cost can darn well be split!

As it turns out, DH and I will have been in Orlando for a conference before the Nov trip, and he wants the option to stay with me since I have a CL room. No parks for him, just lounging and working. So I told my friend I can add her to our room as a guest so she can get access to parking/lounge, but that she will need to get another room. (Honestly, and this definitely makes me sound like a snot, but if I am not your blood relative/wife or in a separate room with a separate bathroom, I don’t want to split a room. I did enough bunking in my 20’s/30’s, and I prefer not to now. See? I’m a snot.)

 

[quakerlaw]

Zero guilt whatsoever. People are only allowed to come with me if they are 100% on board with whatever I plan, no whining, and if we plan for it from the beginning (aka no compromising by changing reservations later to accommodate). If they even mention the word budget, they're out.

 

[angryduck71]

One of my dear non-Disney friends came with me YEARS ago and still talks about how when she wanted to take a pic in front of the castle, I would not let her BECAUSE WE WERE ROPE DROPPING AND HAD TO MOVE! LOL.

On the other hand, I am crashing another friend's trip with her buddy -- we are all Disney people and I'm like, "love this itinerary. Must participate and will spend whatever -- MNSSHP, Geo-82, dessert parties, yes, please, to all!" (And, even if I didn't want to do everything they had planned, I am perfectly fine doing stuff by myself.....)

 

[HopperFan]

Been on several trips with folks joining us and it "did not go well" .... Disney costs way too much money to not doing it your way, and no matter how much we love someone if they are not compatible park people, it is best to not travel with them for a regular trip. And this goes for any vacation. I won't go to the beach with some now that I have, I don't want to cruise with some now that I have. We just don't owe anyone our vacation time.

HAVE NO GUILT! We owe no one our company on OUR vacations!! And I promise it is even harder after the trip when it doesn't go smooth. Don't risk ruining a friendship by letting them go on vacation with you if you know you are not going to be compatible.

Your idea of just doing a party on another trip is perfect!!!

 

[LoveToDisney]

As it turns out, DH and I will have been in Orlando for a conference before the Nov trip, and he wants the option to stay with me since I have a CL room. No parks for him, just lounging and working. So I told my friend I can add her to our room as a guest so she can get access to parking/lounge, but that she will need to get another room. (Honestly, and this definitely makes me sound like a snot, but if I am not your blood relative/wife or in a separate room with a separate bathroom, I don’t want to split a room. I did enough bunking in my 20’s/30’s, and I prefer not to now. See? I’m a snot.)

I think you are fine wanting your own room. But, I have trouble sharing a 1 bedroom villa when there’s only one bathroom, let alone sharing a hotel style accommodation.
Your friend will still get to enjoy the club level which is awesome. Don’t feel bad at all.