Thanks, I Hate It - Disney by non-Disney Fans (DUN)

I’m so sorry about your rude family . What a nightmare. Nobody likes It’s tough to be a bug . My 16 year old daughter screamed last year and ran out crying . Your SIL is so selfish . I’m sorry . I hope your trip gets better 💖
 
Pmccarthy said:
I've managed to borrow my brother's laptop, so I have a little more freedom to type now.

DAY 1: ANIMAL KINGDOM
Honestly, it wasn't until the DIS' latest podcast episode that I even realized that this is Spring Break and that's always a terrible time to visit, but how bad can it... okay, it sucks.

We manage to get the entire crew together and out the door by 9:30am. My SIL had booked fast passes for her family, and my daughter which was news to us. Not my wife and I, just my daughter. Huh.

Like I said, we're used to amusement parks, so we pre-sunscreened in the parking lot and passed right through security. My brother gets stuck with two strollers. Then they have to stop to douse The Gaggle with sunscreen. We don't have our passes yet (well, The Child has hers already. Again, family making decisions about our daughter without our input), so we head to the ticket booth. The tickets are under my mother's name, so they can't help us. Off to Guest Relations. They can't help us because surprise, the tickets are under my mother's name. It isn't until I explain that my mother is lost somewhere in the parking lot that they relent and let us get our passes.

It's also at this point that we find out that we have no dining reservations, even though we were told we'd managed to get lunch at Tusker House. Thanks Tammy!

Since we didn't have Genie+ because no passes (well, The Child had Genie+...), we were going to just walk around and do whatever. My SIL has the entire day planned out to the minute, and that is absolutely not our speed, so we I force a grin for some photos in front of the Tree of Life and break off.

First stop is Pandora. It's... fine? I dunno, I guess I was expecting something... bigger. Yeah, the floating islands is cool, but the engineer in me can't help but judge the overly thick vines that are required to keep them aloft. We figure Na'vi River Journey is probably not going to be popular but NOPE, 105 minute wait. Cool. Maybe I'll order some Hamburger Pods to tied me over. My Disney app isn't cooperating. Coooool. Wife and The Child head into the gift shop, and The Child now has her heart set on getting a Banshee. Coooooooooooool.

Dejected, we head to Africa. The stand-by line for the safari stretches nearly to Adventure Island. But hey, the rest of our crew is loading up at that moment thanks to Genie+. Coooo.... okay, I can't keep that up. I drop the six bucks a piece on Mickey Bars to cool down the family and finally accomplish something. We do the Gorilla tour, and I stand with the stroller while the wife and kid can run off and get up close with the animals. They get to see the baby gorilla. Seeing the child enjoy herself is starting to make the day somewhat worth it.

Since The Child has a Fast Pass for It's Tough to Be a Bug, brother's family (tempted to start calling them bro-fam) volunteer to take her off our hands. We buy some pins, and the stand-by wait for the safari only says 55 minutes. We can sneak that in, right?

60 minutes of switch-backs under the hot Florida sun and we can finally smell the diesel from the trucks. UNFORTUNATELY, the kids were too scared by the show (that were seated next to the grasshopper, so I was told), and since there's no exits once you've committed to a line, we hop the rope for Fast Pass and walk out the entrance. A cast member confusedly tells us to have a Jambo day. I silently wish death upon him.

We pick up a child that has finally stopped crying, and decide that we need food. Twenty minute line to buy a hot dog. My wife's blood sugar is so low that she drops her hot dog on the ground. Thirty minute line to buy a hot dog. Frankly, by this point we've hit our limit, and we've only been in the park for a couple of hours. Brother's family says they're right behind us to put The Gaggle down for a nap. Spoiler: They weren't behind us.

We buy a Banshee, take the oath, snap a picture in front of the Lion King photo op, and leave. We realize that we're parked in the very last row of cars in the lot.

A couple of disgusting Bud Light Limes back at the house and my murderous rage has subsided. My wife and I payed extra for Park Hoppers for us (not the child) so that we might be able to get some adult time, so we wait for the rest of the family to join us at the house. They ignore our texts and stay until the park closes.

Exhausted, defeated, and starving, we pick up some pizzas. We finally kill the last of the Bud Light Lime.

The Banshee is kinda cool though, albeit prone to failure. My engineering side finds that unacceptable. We hurriedly put it away until we get home, because we don't trust The Gaggle around an overpriced puppet.

The rest of the family finally gets back. Apparently the only text they read was us getting pizza and decided to follow suit. My SIL screams at us because we killed off the last of her beer.

Like the Beast's rose, another part of my soul withers away and dies as I drive to Publix to buy more Bud Light Lime.
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1st: I'm sorry you're having a bad trip.

2nd: This is hysterical. I relate to it WAY too much with a 2 year old and trying to nagivate the parks with her and family in tow. So different than just my husband and I's park days.
 
Yikes... I feel your family killed this trip befor it even started. If you had all the tools (tickets) befor, you could have just made this trip separate from everyone else.

It's funny but horrific at the same time. If.i.was you I would just be booking my way home . And I love Disney.
 
And people look at me funny when I say that I refuse to travel with any extended family. The only people I will travel with are my husband and kids. More people, more trouble. I don't get how these huge groups of extended families can get anything done. Most of the time you just see them gathering in the paths trying to figure out what to do next.
 
Lilsia said:
And people look at me funny when I say that I refuse to travel with any extended family. The only people I will travel with are my husband and kids. More people, more trouble. I don't get how these huge groups of extended families can get anything done. Most of the time you just see them gathering in the paths trying to figure out what to do next.
Click to expand...

I do friend group trips and we have an awesome time but I refuse to travel with family. And I do NOT travel in groups to Disney. Ever. That’s a nuclear family trip only. Disney is my happy place and I do it how I like to do it. I’m not letting anyone come in and kill my vibe. Lol

I have no idea how big groups get anything done at Disney. It could get difficult when we went as a family of four and each person had a different opinion or request. Now I go with either DD or DH and it’s so much simpler. Can’t imagine going with multiple families.
 
He says he is an "engineer", I don't buy it. He is a comedy writer!
1. I am sorry that others have made decisions for your child without your input. Or even thought that you and her mother would want to be WITH HER while experiencing Disney.

2. I am tagging your summary as "watched" so I don't miss a single detail.
 
Last edited:
Oh goodness, this is why I would never travel with extended family to Disney World. Nope.

OP, you need a do over. I can already tell that your awful trip is due to your family more than anything else. Although Spring Break is also absolutely the WORST time to go. You didn't stand a chance.
 
This sounds like what would happen if Cosmo Kramer and friends visit Disney World. "Went to pick up Fast Passes and all of a sudden I am running down the track of Space Mountain" o_O Seriously if this is all true then you need to leave the extended family at home next time and take a trip to either a Deluxe resort or DVC villa!
 
This is totally what would happen if I went with my ILs. Thanks for confirming my suspicions! Can't wait to see what happens next.
 
Yep, us Ohio people are pretty funny, LOL! Love your trip report and can't wait for more. I have a writer friend who is very funny and tells funny stories all the time, and he says he can't write humor. He said it is the most difficult type of writing to do. So, you are a master at it.
 
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