Terrified to Fly!

[WillCAD]

Usually we agree on stuff, but not this one. As a kid gets older, they are able to understand possible dangers of certain situations. It is perfectly normal for a child, who has yet to fly, to be horrified at the thought. As I said before...what sane person thinks it's okay to sit in a metal tube, full of 'souls' and to expect it to stay up in the air???? Metal does not float. So, it is understandable why a child would have this fear.
My dd was terrified of flyng...sobbed all the way down the jetway. That was when she was much younger...about 4ish. But then again, she was terrified of the Easter bunny and Santa Claus. Pedi said her imaginationwas in overdrive!!! Anyway.....
I would hate to have a child think there was something wrong with him simply because he was terrified of flying. Those of us who fly frequently can sometimes forget what it felt like to be scared the first time we flew. Heck, I don't have to go that far back to remember how nervous I was, and I was an adult!!
My 32 y/o dd was sobbing on a flight from FtL to Tampa..it was bumpy and she was sure she was going to die. She hates to fly, doesn't do it very often..maybe 3 times in her life so far. But man...she was terrified on that day. So, if a 32 y/o is terrified, I see no problem with a youngster being afraid.

There is nothing "wrong" with someone who has a phobia, nor is there anything "wrong" with someone who seeks professional counseling to overcome it, rather than having it cause problems through their entire lives.

Your reasoning that "any sane person" would be naturally afraid to fly is flawed - I'm perfectly sane, yet I've never been afraid to fly. Nor are millions of others, including many small children.

Your DD was terrified of flying when she was 4ish. And you were terrified when you first flew. My guess is that your DD picked up on your fear, and that's what made her afraid.

Children usually fear the unknown, but a specific fear of flying is usually something that develops from either experience, or from mimicing the fear they see in the adults in their lives. Anything that scares Mommy or Daddy or even Uncle Phil must be pretty bad, so naturally it scares Junior, too.

Being afraid of something isn't a bad thing. Letting fear control your life or make you miserable is.

 

[dis_guy]

There are so many great replies here, I can hardly add to them. I just want to stress that fear of heights does not translate into a fear of flying. I am a pilot and am terrified of heights. I hate having to go up stairs to get into the plane but once I strap in, it's "business as usual". I actually know several pilots that are terrified of heights but have no problem flying for a living.

 

[miprender]

I have always been afraid to fly, but 3 hrs flying beats 21 hrs of driving. We are going in April and I was talking to DS3 about going in the plane. He started to cry a little and said he was scared. I asked him what he was scared about and he said falling from the sky

I told him momma is afraid of that too but we should be alright. I am just praying when we get on the plane he doesn't have a melt down. We have been talking about it every few days about different things we can do on the plane and he seems to be coming around. But time will only tell.

 

[Tootles]

There are so many great replies here, I can hardly add to them. I just want to stress that fear of heights does not translate into a fear of flying. I am a pilot and am terrified of heights. I hate having to go up stairs to get into the plane but once I strap in, it's "business as usual". I actually know several pilots that are terrified of heights but have no problem flying for a living.

dis guy!!! My DS actually chuckled out loud at this one. It certainly made him feel better. Thanks for replying! I really AM starting to think, he'll be able to brave the skies with little problem!

 

[goofy4tink]

There is nothing "wrong" with someone who has a phobia, nor is there anything "wrong" with someone who seeks professional counseling to overcome it, rather than having it cause problems through their entire lives.

Your reasoning that "any sane person" would be naturally afraid to fly is flawed - I'm perfectly sane, yet I've never been afraid to fly. Nor are millions of others, including many small children.

Your DD was terrified of flying when she was 4ish. And you were terrified when you first flew. My guess is that your DD picked up on your fear, and that's what made her afraid.

Children usually fear the unknown, but a specific fear of flying is usually something that develops from either experience, or from mimicing the fear they see in the adults in their lives. Anything that scares Mommy or Daddy or even Uncle Phil must be pretty bad, so naturally it scares Junior, too.

Being afraid of something isn't a bad thing. Letting fear control your life or make you miserable is.

Nope, dd did not pick up on my fear. I was pretty much over my fear by the time she started flying...as she is pretty much over her fear of flying now. Any discomfort I may have had when flying with my dd was well shut down. I did not want her to be afraid. As you said, it is one thing to be afraid, a whole other thing to let fear control your life. As in many other things..the more you do something, the better you get at it. Have to say that my trip to Florida after Christmas probably took away every last vestige of fear on my dd's part.....3 flights up and down the east coast in less than 24 hrs. will take away a lot of fear!!!

I have no problem with someone having a phobia. But to say that just because someone is afraid of flying means they have a phobia is silly. I was horrified of flying..until I did it more often and found there was little to be afraid of. Sure, I'm a wee bit nervous about being stuck on a transatlantic flight for close to 7 hrs next month but that doesn't mean I have a phobia. My dd was, again, horridied to fly. We worked through it....without professional help.

To someone who has never flown, flying can be terrifying. Again, that whole metal tube up in the air thing. It's understandable and it's overcomeable as well. A bit of rational thinking is about all it takes.

But to tell a parent of an 11 y/o that the child's fear is probably a phobia and needs professional help is just silly. Mom seems to be talking it through with her ds. He seems to be feeling better about it. Now, perhaps, at some point, they will decide that it (the fear) is something they can't deal with on their own, and they may seek professional help. And that's fine. But in all probability, they will be able to deal with the fear right at home, through talk and info gathering.

 

[Tootles]

But to tell a parent of an 11 y/o that the child's fear is probably a phobia and needs professional help is just silly. Mom seems to be talking it through with her ds. He seems to be feeling better about it.

Thanks! I do believe it's likely a common fear in most children who have never flown, and that's why I posted the question in the first place. It was more, what can I DO to help my DS prepare for flying (even though he's afraid). I was hoping to get, and did get, some wonderful suggestions of what other parents felt worked for their child.

I understand that everyone has a different opinion, and to some, having my DS scene now by a child psychologist to overcome his fear, seems like the "right" thing to do. I do not think that this is the "wrong" answer, it's just not right for me and my DS at this stage. I am "hoping" the more we talk, the more he can prepare himself for the fact that this IS going to happen. I also believe (pray, more like it! ) that he'll come to terms with the fact (once we're in the air) that he imagined it to be FAR more worse than it is.

I will update, the closer our vacation gets, on how he's dealing with the idea of flying, and I'll be SURE to add mention of it in my trip report! (maybe even one of those Youtube videos! LOL)

Thanks to all who replied! That's the great thing about these boards. We may not all have the same opinion, but everyone's opinion is the right one, to someone.

 

[Tootles]

Okay...this newest plane crash landing in NY, my son ALMOST saw photo's of, over my shoulder when I was reading CNN on line today! That certainly would have hindered our progress, huh?

For anyone afraid of flying....I found this interesting

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1872154,00.html?cnn=yes

Hope the above link works! (may have to copy and paste)

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Okay...this newest plane crash landing in NY, my son ALMOST saw photo's of, over my shoulder when I was reading CNN on line today! That certainly would have hindered our progress, huh?

For anyone afraid of flying....I found this interesting

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1872154,00.html?cnn=yes

Hope the above link works! (may have to copy and paste)

I thought of your ds when I was at work today and saw this on the news. Also thought of my own 2 ds's and hope they don't start developing a new fof. They did watch the whole news with dh before I got home. All I could do was emphasize the fact that they all got out safely and the pilot & crew handled it well. They don't know it yet but we're surprising them with a little 4 nt. getaway later this month. I hope this isn't too fresh in their minds when we fly.

Still so sad and wondered how long will it take those people to get on a plane again.

 

[Liljam]

Oh boy! I thought of your DS too after I got over my initial panic and tears at work (thank goodness I work with my family or everyone would think I was nuts!)

My mom turned to me and asked if I was on yahoo news yet and I told her no and she said well I just got a text from and friend and I'm not telling you what happened. I had just decided my family would join the rest of the family for a cruise in Sept. and we would fly to Miami. I was actually just looking at cabins on the cruise to decide which one we'd like to have. I had also just decided to take a few days in July with our family and friends to show our support for Miss Hollywood Florida 2009 as she tries for the title of Miss Florida. After the thread here and all the research and support, I felt that I could finally fly. THIS set me back and all the news channels are making a big deal about the birds and even showing how a 10lb goose can pretty well pulverize a fan in the engine! It freaked me out so bad. And I just can't turn off the news. I can always still drive to these places, but that takes longer and driving to WDW is fun but driving to Miami and other longer distances is not as exciting for short trips and it can be more expensive when adding in cost of hotels! This is frustrating! I am just so thankful that the pilot was so trained that he was able to save everyone! That is amazing and unbelievable! It seems so unlikely that it could happen twice!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

It seems so unlikely that it could happen twice!

Exactly. Risk is all about odds. There are birds all over the country/world and yet this happens so rarely. Just SWA alone flies over 3,000 per day and they are a small domestic airline. I would guess the big, international airlines fly probably 4x that. Yet we don't even hear about this once per month or even yearly.
This won't stop me from flying. Driving surely isn't safer. More people die each year from car accidents than plane accidents.

Just crossing a street or walking down stairs involves some risk.

Take your cruise and support Miss Florida. Don't let this stop you from living your life.

 

[inkkognito]

In a way the Hudson River incident is a positive because it shows that even an incident that looks hopeless doesn't necessarily turn out that way. This was a true miracle and it showed that all the training and safety measures really can pay off, even in the unlikely event of an emergency.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

The last time we went to WDW, we drove. It was 19 hours of driving. My eldest son, loved the ride. He played his game system, watched movies, slept a lot....you get the picture. My younger son, HATED sitting in a car seat for that long. He would have fits and sob if we drove too long without stopping. So, now, we're planning another wonderful WDW vacation! Yeah!! This time though, we opted to fly. (2 1/2 hrs and we're THERE!) My younger son, who will be 8 when we leave, is ecstatic! He's always wanted to fly on a plane! My older son, who will be almost 11 when we leave, is REFUSING to go! He says even a trip to WDW is NOT worth having to fly. He's terrified. Now, he hates heights, mind you, and roller coasters, boats and even trains for that matter. Everything frightens him. I think he would be fine, once we were in the air. He's taken the train a few times now, and seems more comfortable each trip. The first time, he basically sat in silence, 4 HOURS, and grasped onto the seat handles! What can I do to help him out? Have any other parents experienced this with their children? Any advice or words of encouragement are SO much appreciated!

This should make your son feel a little better: my husband is a pilot. He flies for a living. He is also afraid of heights!

Liljam, it sounds like you have a fear of death, maybe that is the core?

Not Liljam here, but my husband actually says his fear of heights is actually more of a fear of falling to his death. So I can totally understand that perpective. He still flies for a living.

Okay...this newest plane crash landing in NY, my son ALMOST saw photo's of, over my shoulder when I was reading CNN on line today! That certainly would have hindered our progress, huh?

Being around pilots for the last 20+ years and a pilot's wife for the last 14, I can tell you that pilot did everything exactly right!! The fact that everyone on that plane survived is a testament to his skill and training!

A thought if you can swing it financially: find a small airport nearby and purchase your son a flying lesson. Sometimes it is a control issue. My husband much prefers being a pilot than a passenger because he knows as a pilot he has control of the aircraft. A 1-hour guided lesson (~$150) includes a short ground school, then the student gets to go up in a small plane with an instructor. The student will get to "fly" as much as he/she is comfortable with. I have done this and as I was very comfortable with controlling the plane, I was allowed to take off and fly. The instructor understandably landed the plane. If nothing else, you can always see if you can make an appt for your son to talk with a pilot!

Just a thought!

 

[allisonswonderland]

My husband is not wild about flying, he likes the really early flight because he is not a morning person and when we have to get up at 5 something to take off at 6 something he really does not have time to get himself worked up about it. Plus he is sleepy so he may doze on the plane. Not sure if that will help, I like going that early because we get to Wdw that much earlier.

 

[patsfan101]

I think surprising sounds like a bad idea. I just tell myself the pilot is a person, too, probably with kids and he wants to land safely as much as we all do. If it weren't safe, he wouldn't be getting on the plane either!

 

[Steffiesunshine]

I feel for him. I have only flown 4 times in my life, and they were not without tears.

It's hard to say the fear is irrational, especially after seeing what happened the other day.

I spent yesterday looking at prices for rental cars (our cars are old) and Amtrak prices for our trip in 10 days. We are ticketed to fly out of JFK on JetBlue, but I don't know if I will be able to do it. Train tickets are $400 and a rental vehicle long distance one way is over $350, plus the gas from NY to FL. My husband, who drives town cars, even asked his boss if he could rent one of the vehicles for the trip.

People who aren't afraid of flying don't understand the actually heart-stopping fear just the thought of flying instills in those of us who fear flying. I feel so bad for your little guy. Please be understanding, which I'm sure you are already. Perhaps someone here has some good advice for you.

Best of Luck!

 

[Tootles]

Thanks for the kind words Steffiesunshine