Terminal Illness/End of Life Question

[luvmarypoppins]

My aunt is terminally ill with cancer. Today my cousin told me that the dr. told him that he thinks she will be with us no more than 3 months. Just wondering how accurate these estimates are? When my grandma lived with me the dr. said she had about 2 weeks left to live and she died the very next day after he told me that. I know its such a sad situation. I am trying to prepare my kids, they are teens so they are handling it o.k. so far. Also if this is correct then right at the drs. estimated time my one son will be in florida on his senior class trip and my dh will be in korea,taiwan or japan. This whole situation is upsetting me, worse we will be in disney in april. So if we need to come back I dont know how the flights will be, not just moneywise but just getting a flight because lots of them are booked etc.

 

[imsorry]

When they told me my Dad had 1 - 3 months; he lived exactly 2 months. Sorry you are going thru this, it's a very hard time

 

[mickeyfan2]

Sorry to hear about your Aunt. The number they give is where 90% of all patients will be gone by. There are "miracles" out there, my Uncle was one. He was give 6 months and lasted 3 years. The Dr. told us about the 90% rule. Hope your Aunt gets to be a "miracle" too.

 

[CheshireVal]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I am going through the same thing myself.

My aunt is terminally ill with breast cancer as well. The doctors haven't given her an actual timeline for the end, but have said there's really not a whole lot of hope.

It does make planning trips or anything like that very difficult-- the whole thing is overwhelmingly stressful and sad.

 

[4cruisin]

I'm sorry that you are facing such a difficult time. There really is no absolute time frame for death. There are many factors involved. They gave my mom a year...she lived 3 years. Each case is different. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

 

[ilovepcot]

For years I did private duty nursing with the terminally ill. I've never seen a doctor come close yet in predicting the death of a patient unless it was within a day or so. My SIL was diagnosed with cancer Christmas Day. Doctors gave her 6 months....she lived 5 weeks. My MIL was given a few weeks to live....that was 4 years ago. I truly believe it's the persons own frame of mind and their spirit that can be a huge determining factor in all this and a doctor only knows what test results on a piece of paper show.

 

[froglady]

It is an estimate based on the doctor's and medicine's experience with similar cases. NO ONE can say you will definitely die within x number of days, months, years. Some people last longer, some die sooner. There is no way to know for sure, even though many families think there should be.

 

[Bob Slydell]

It varies. Sometimes they're pretty accurate, other times they can be off quite a bit, either way. There's a lot of other factors that come into play when it comes to terminal illness.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

You have to do what feels right for you.

They gave my dad 2-3 months on August 26, and he was gone on November 26. But in between that time, they were trying, and telling us that he could last and then he might not. It was really difficult.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I'm sorry you and your family are going thorugh this!

In my family people seem to bounce back time and time again, but that tends to be when there isn't a disease with a specific progression.

My friend's FIL was diagnosed with lung cancer and told he had like 6 weeks to live, but he responded well to the treatment and lived years beyond that.

A client I volunteered with at an AIDS charity had a letter from his doctor estimating he had less than 12 months to live. He cashed out his life insurance with a viatical company for about 60% of it's face value, so when he died that company would get 100% of the insurance. That was also YEARS ago, and he is still living. We joke that the viatical company is going to send a hit man so they can get paid!

Unfortunately there are cases that go the other way - DH works with a guy who's wife was diagnosed with something and passed away 2 weeks later. I hope you are able to work out your trip. Peace to you and your family!

 

[horseshowmom]

We have a neighbor who was given 18 months (cancer), but he lived 20 more years.

Best wishes for your family during this hard time...

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

My dad had a brain tumor and in April 2003 was given 3 months...he lived until Oct 12 2003
ETA - My FIL was given 2 months when they found panc cx...he lived 3 years!! Not the norm at all!

 

[disneyfanatic60]

I am so sorry your family is going through this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

I received a call on a Tueday that my mom was losing her 10-year battle with Alzheimer's. We were told by her doctor's she had approximately 3 months. Sadly, she passed just five short days later. We were just beginning to try and digest that we had only three month's with her. You can well imagine our heartbreak when I got the call early that Sunday morning.