Tell me about letting your kids go off on their own

[Welsh_Dragon]

Whilst at WDW I am allowed to wander on my own, but my ‘children’ have strict rules. I have to have my telephone on vibrate and check it occasionally, I am not allowed to chat to random strangers (If I break this rule, I am particularly not allowed to invite random strangers to join us for drinks or supper), I am not allowed to have lunch or supper on my own or indeed a glass of wine. Basically, I am not allowed to do anything ‘fun’, but I am allowed to take myself off to the room for a nap. I kid you not, however you treat your children, will one day be your destiny.

 

[shawthorne44]

I agree that is more about a child's maturity then their age. If your worried why not try a few baby steps by requiring them to stay in a certain area of said park for a period of time and then meet up with you. For example, give them two hours where they are required to stay in Tomorrow land and then meet you in front of Space Mountain at an appointed time. If that goes well, then expand from there.

My eldest was super shy and it took years before he was mature enough to handle this type of responsibility. By contrast, my youngest was around 10 when she started being able to navigate the parks alone or with friends for a window of time with us in the same park and with a cell phone. By her 15th birthday we took 2 friends with us on a WDW trip. I took them the first day to Disney's Springs. It was apparent that they were fine on their own after about a half hour. They shopped, ate alone and managed to take the bus back to the resort. By day two of the trip the 3 girls ended up navigating the transportation system and going to the parks alone. I checked up on them via cell regularly, made a lunch ADR in each park that they were required to meet us at and then we typically meet for the nightly entertainment. They had a blast and my husband and I really enjoyed our time alone together that trip as well.

I sooooo wish we could do that. Unfortunately, the parents of DD's friends are proud helicopter parents. Fortunately not of the Blackhawk variety. We'd fork the entire bill and consider it a bargain. But, no.

 

[Rory607]

I agree that it depends on the maturity of the kids. Your kids have the same age difference as myself and my oldest brother. I was allowed to go anywhere with him at that age, at home and most definitely at Disney. And that was before cell phones. He was mature and dependable and I was a good listener and well-behaved.

I would not have been allowed to go off alone in the parks at 11 and I wouldn’t let my current 11 year old do it now. Maybe with a friend, but definitely not totally alone.

 

[Lumpy1106]

My DS had to take public transportation from the private HS we had him in, in a rough part of town, to our home, every day. He has stories from that experience - you can bet on that. OF COURSE my kids are OK in a Disney park on their own. We have a saying for our HS age kids; "nothing motivates like abandonment". We will be up and going, ready to rope drop. I personally will likely be in the park at close (DW not so much). If they want to sleep in, head back to the room early, or take off to ride a ride while we do something, else, go ahead. As long as I know where they are going and when we will meet up again, it's OK by us. They have rarely taken us up on the offer though.

 

[Calee]

This summer we left our 13 year old at our Universal Hotel when we rope dropped. He's not a rider. He had a phone, could walk to the park if he needed/wanted to, and by the time we got back he had only been up for about 30 minutes. He also has waited alone for us outside many rides that he didn't want to do at both WDW and Universal since he was 10. Now he and his 9 year old brother have gone in a few places in the same park as us without us. They're fine.

 

[Figment of Speech]

I can't answer as a parent, but I can answer as a former theme park kid.

I was going to Disneyland and Magic Mountain and walking around with just friends since I was 10 or 11. At Disneyland, which was an hour and a half from home, there would be a parent somewhere in the park, but not with us. Magic Mountain was 20 minutes from home, so we just got dropped off and picked up at the end of the day.

It was great fun to be able to wander without parents, and I never felt uneasy or uncomfortable. I felt very at home in both parks, so being with parents would have felt like being with parents at the mall or the roller rink — a lot less fun, and unnecessarily stifling.

As others have mentioned, all kids mature differently, but most 11-year-olds* would probably be fine wandering with friends (not solo), while by this time, the 16-year-old is probably way past antsy to be able to do it.

* I attended a camp during this period that took day trips to theme parks on occasion. The rule for 10- to 14-year-olds was that they could wander without a counselor as long as they were in groups of four or more. I mention this because while all kids are different, this is an age range that was widely enough understood to be okay having a bit of independence in a theme park that it was baked into the camp's rules. Granted, a group of four is not a group of two, but we also didn't have a 16-year-old with us.

 

[staceychev]

It's so good to hear all of these responses - thank you! For the record, they're both pretty responsible, and the eldest is definitely a rule follower. They have been "free range" for years in our walkable inner ring suburb, but Disney is so huge! I think they're going to be fun, and I think the whole "don't get stressed out if you can't figure out where you are" piece is going to be a great learning experience.

Looking back, 20 some odd years ago I would routinely go into a city with a bunch of friends when I was in my teens. In the days before cell phones....so I think an 11 and 16 year old in a theme park will be fine.

I was definitely being dropped off for major arena concerts from age 14 on, and taking public transportation into Philly from about 15 or 16 (late 1980s). My 16 year old has shown no interest in this! It's so weird, actually. I pushed so hard for independence when I was her age.

 

[JK World]

When I was about 10 my parents would drop me and my friend off at six flags for the day with like, $20 and tell us to meet them at the gate at whatever time to be picked up. No cell phones or anything. I could never do that with my kid but I thought it was great. But we used to do school field trips to six flags and great america in like, 5-6th grade so there would be an entire grade of kids for the day with pretty much no adult supervision. I don't think it was safer then per se, but I do think kids were far more respectful then and less likely to do some of the stuff I see kids doing now, like being mean and hateful with staff.

This was me. Only child, grew up in SoCal. My parents would drop me and my best friend off at Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm with $20 and a designated pick up time starting when I was 11 (7th grade, I was a year ahead). We never had any trouble, stayed in the park, and made sure to be at the rendezvous point on time. My son is only 6, so we are a ways off from this, but I could see doing the same for him and his friends at our local Six Flags. I would think a 16 and 11 year old would be fine, but I'd be at the same park as them the whole time.

 

[TheSouthernBelle]

When I was about 10 my parents would drop me and my friend off at six flags for the day with like, $20 and tell us to meet them at the gate at whatever time to be picked up. No cell phones or anything. I could never do that with my kid but I thought it was great. But we used to do school field trips to six flags and great america in like, 5-6th grade so there would be an entire grade of kids for the day with pretty much no adult supervision. I don't think it was safer then per se, but I do think kids were far more respectful then and less likely to do some of the stuff I see kids doing now, like being mean and hateful with staff.

This post made me LOL, I was the same way - my mom would drop me at six flags and be like I'll come when it gets dark LOL. We also had one day field trips to Epcot in 6th grade, we could walk around alone so long as our group stayed together, no chaperone- not sure how that happened.

My kids are 14 and 13 and we leave them in the room for bits of time but for us, when we're at Disney, it's more about doing stuff together for the most part. If they wanted to do some rides and a bit of touring together, I think we'd be fine with it but I really wouldn't want them out and about for too long since I really enjoy our time together.

We just did Dollywood for the first time this past summer and I let them walk around and do a few rides but we met back up not long after since we aren't that familiar with that park. My 14 year old does Carowinds with her friends but I'm still in the park while she's there so I'm ok with it. I really think this all depends on each individual child and not so much defined by their chronological age.

 

[mjkacmom]

These stories of giving kids freedom reminds me of HS field trips to NYC, we were allowed to go off on our own for lunch in Times Square (1980’s, it was a cesspool). Some guys enjoyed a peep show or two, and Beefsteak Charlie’s was popular with unlimited beer, wine and sangria!

 

[katyjeka]

Easy question - It depends on your child. We could trust our oldest at a young age but our youngest will probably be 50!!!!

 

[brockash]

We are heading down at the end of this month, for the first time since 2015. Our daughters will be 11 and 16, and they get along really well. I was thinking that I would let them wander a bit on their own this time around, as long as their phones (with location tracking) are on them, and that they stay in the same park we are in. I'd love it if you could tell me a bit about when you got to this point with your kids, and any tips I should be aware of.

I'd do that no problem...often we'd find a table to wait for fireworks and I'd let my 2-3 kids (starting my oldest was probably 14...youngest I've sent with 16 year old has been 5) go ride a few rides while I stayed at the table and waited.

Actually thinking about it; last year I let my 2 weeks shy of 14 year old take my 6.5 year to ride a few rides while my sister and I waited in the insane ToT line. Obviously anything can happen anywhere but we are all very familiar and very comfortable at Disney.

 

[ktlm]

I'm a little bit of a helicopter parent and DH is worse than me. DD is 15 and we let her roam by herself a bit in the parks at DLR last week for the first time. She asked if she could because she didn't like anything on the menu on one of our TS meals and wanted to go get Shawarma and then wander while we ate and we said yes. After that first time, I felt more comfortable with it. As long as she has her phone with her (with tracking) and answers if I text or call, I think it is okay to let her run a bit. I think with the 16 year old watching the 12 year old, your kids are old enough to give a little freedom.

Mine will be 14 and 12, we’re debating leaving them in the room early in the morning while we rope drop MK from the Contemporary. I just can’t handle the teen/tween angst. Mind you, I don’t know that I’ll actually do it- might make me too nervous.

Right there with you! 15 year old night owl morning angst is the worst. I was too nervous to leave her alone in the room at DLH last week- just not comfortable with her being alone in a hotel. I wound up leaving both her and DH and going by myself to CA and riding TSM and Soarin while she got ready-- I was fed up with her slowness. I should have just gone ahead and took DH and told her to call us when she was ready and one of us would come get her.

 

[AZMermaid]

I just left my newly 11 year old in the big Buena Vista St shops at DCA while I ran to the bathroom across the “street.” We did that a couple times. DH and I have decided we will send him and my 9.5 year old in line to ride Tomorrowland Speedway while we chill in the chairs on our Dec trip. I’d actually feel fine letting them go for a bit with a plan- ride x and y. Meet us back here in an hour. I’m not sure we will this trip, but I’d be good with it. This would lead up to more free range roaming together in a year or two. My kids are mostly rule followers and pretty confident, especially my older one.

 

[Sinder]

No problem letting my kids wander WDW when they were 16 and 11 (and their 13 year old sibling).
I look at it this way- a 16 year old can drive a car to their part time job. If I can let them have those kinds of responsibilities at that age I can certainly let them take their 11 year old sibling around a theme park on their own. That doesn't mean my parent worry doesn't kick in, but I can say from experience that doesn't go away even when they are 23, 20 and 18

 

[motherof5]

We are heading down at the end of this month, for the first time since 2015. Our daughters will be 11 and 16, and they get along really well. I was thinking that I would let them wander a bit on their own this time around, as long as their phones (with location tracking) are on them, and that they stay in the same park we are in. I'd love it if you could tell me a bit about when you got to this point with your kids, and any tips I should be aware of.

I did this for the first time last year with my 14 year old and her 15 year old friend.

 

[Skywalker3]

Just back from Universal, and let kids go off on their own, after we'd walked around a bit, and they got the lay of the land, Even let them take the boat to/from parks a couple times. Of course, they got mixed up in Islands/Adv trying to find the Velocicoaster....My daughter has a reputation now of going the wrong way in theme parks, but they had their phones/apps/maps, and asked a team member. I think it's good if they're familiar w the park, have general sense of it. They had a good time doing their own things.

 

[staceychev]

I look at it this way- a 16 year old can drive a car to their part time job.

LOL - not for us. We live in Jersey. She won't be driving until she's probably 17-1/2 at this point (because she hasn't gotten off her butt to arrange for behind the wheel instruction).

 

[Figment of Speech]

I look at it this way- a 16 year old can drive a car to their part time job.

LOL - not for us. We live in Jersey. She won't be driving until she's probably 17-1/2 at this point (because she hasn't gotten off her butt to arrange for behind the wheel instruction).

Ha. Tangent, but I originally got my driver's license in California at age 16. When I moved to New Jersey at age 22 and got my Jersey license, I "lost" two of my driving years. I don't remember where they put it —whether it was on licenses at the time or in my insurance or in some other documentation — but the date on which my first driver's license was issued had to be included somewhere, and I was peeved that they had to use my 18th birthday instead of my 16th because that's the earliest you could have a license there. I was young enough that two additional years of driving experience made a big difference, haha.

 

[annadreamsofdisneyworld]

That sounds fine to me. When I was 11 I was allowed to walk around amusement parks by myself or with a friend. Plus you have the 16 year old. They'll be fine.