Teeth shifted after braces - WWYD

[Mrs. Ciz]

Ok, here's the story. DS19 had braces for 2 years (9th & 10th grade). The big gap between his 2 front teeth was corrected perfectly. Once the braces came off, he wore his retainer 24/7 for the first 3 months as instructed. Then he was supposed to wear the retainer at night, every night. He did this at first, but he stopped somewhere along the line. When he came home from his 1st year of college he had gaps. His front teeth are still together because he has a permanent retainer attached to the backside of those 2 teeth. But now there are gaps to the right and left of the 2 front teeth. He didn't wear his retainer AT ALL in college.

These new gaps are 100% DS's fault. And I am pretty peeved that I spent $4000 on his teeth, and he did not maintain them as he should have. So now what do I do about it?

1) I will not pay for braces again. If someday he decides he wants them fixed, he can pay for a 2nd set of braces. Is this mean of me?
2) I am making an appointment with his orthodontist over his Fall Break to get a $300 wire style retainer made. I will pay for the new retainer because I want to stop the teeth from moving any more. His old retainer no longer fits due to the new gaps. Plus, the old clear tray type retainer he had has a tiny crack at the top because he threw it in his backpack without putting it in the case, and it got crunched. We showed it to the orthodontist when it happened, and she said it was still usable and effective. But now it doesn't fit.
3) I am contemplating (depending on if the rest of the teeth alignment is ok and what the orthodontist advises) on paying for some cosmetic bonding to fill in the gaps on either side of his 2 front teeth. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!! I am so irritated by all this!

What would you do?

P.S. DD went to the same orthodontist. Her teeth are still perfect and gorgeous because she is fanatical about wearing her retainers. When her braces came off, a clear tray type retainer came with the braces package. I actually bought an extra $300 old fashioned wire retainer - just in case (because DS's clear one got crunched). Sure enough, she threw the clear retainer away with her lunch at school about 2.5 months in. I went through 36 bags of high school lunch trash that afternoon but didn't find it. Yuck! At the time the orthodontist thought I was crazy, but thank goodness I ordered a second retainer when she got her braces off!

 

[Cubbiecakes]

1. Nope, not mean at all. It's his fault.
2. That's very kind of you, eventually he'll appreciate it.
3. He's an adult, I wouldn't bother. If he wants it fixed, eventually he'll pay for it himself. (it's only your job to get him to adulthood, not to maintain his superficial appearance once he gets there! ;-))

 

[PlutoPony]

At most I'd buy the new retainer. Agree with you OP that he can get new braces on his dime later if he wants
Wouldn't be surprised if we have a similar situation, suspect my son rarely wears his retainer. He's a year from graduating and his teeth aren't obviously off so not obvious if they have shifted. Am willing to pay for teeth whitening at Thanksgiving, there's heredity at work there and I think it may make a difference in jobs and possibly self esteem.

Boys just don't care about the same things that mom's do

 

[SMD]

Has he had his wisdom teeth out? My bottom retainer didn't even fit anymore after that and they've really shifted. You might want to ask about that before buying a new retainer.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Has he had his wisdom teeth out? My bottom retainer didn't even fit anymore after that and they've really shifted. You might want to ask about that before buying a new retainer.

That's the other issue. He went to the regular dentist for a check up and cleaning this summer. The dentist told him he has gingivitis due to not brushing enough (is this boy thing???!!!) and also recommended he get his wisdom teeth out. I am really worried that after the wisdom teeth come out, the rest of the teeth will shift all over the place without a retainer. I am going to discuss this with his orthodontist before doing anything.

 

[Southernmiss]

1. Nope, not mean at all. It's his fault.
2. That's very kind of you, eventually he'll appreciate it.
3. He's an adult, I wouldn't bother. If he wants it fixed, eventually he'll pay for it himself. (it's only your job to get him to adulthood, not to maintain his superficial appearance once he gets there! ;-))[/QUOTE

This.
It's all on your ds. We put our 4 throught braces, if things change after, it's on them.

Not easy to accept that the teeth have shifted after forking over so much money, but it's like other parenting issues, we can teach them and do our best, but ultimately it's their body/life/choices, etc.

 

[emer95]

I too, have searched through bags of trash for a retainer that was never found. Isn't parenting awesome? *High Five!*

I'm quite certain we'll be in the same boat with our oldest. She constantly "forgets" to wear her retainers. We told her the first set of braces is all we're paying for. She's having her wisdom teeth out in January. It will be interesting to see what that does.

My younger daughter is religious about wearing her retainers. I think it just depends on the kid.

There are a few young girls at work who end up getting braces put back on before their wedding so they'll have straight teeth in their wedding pictures. Every one of them said it was because they didn't wear their retainers.

 

[shoney]

My older son has a small gap in his front teeth. He refuses to get braces and honestly years ago no one would have gotten them for such a slight gap. I told him he
has until a 17 to decide and after that I do not pay.

As for retainers, my other son had braces for over 2 years to fix a large gap. He was told to wear them day and night for 1 year and then after that only at night, for life. The ortho said teeth have memory and always look to go back to where they are comfortable.

If he wants them fixed as an adult, then he should pay.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

My older son has a small gap in his front teeth. He refuses to get braces and honestly years ago no one would have gotten them for such a slight gap. I told him he
has until a 17 to decide and after that I do not pay.

As for retainers, my other son had braces for over 2 years to fix a large gap. He was told to wear them day and night for 1 year and then after that only at night, for life. The ortho said teeth have memory and always look to go back to where they are comfortable.

If he wants them fixed as an adult, then he should pay.

About your older son's gap - I too had a small gap between my front teeth, but all the other teeth were aligned. Instead of getting braces to fix just a small front teeth gap, I got cosmetic bonding on the 2 front teeth when I was in college. I hated that gap! Now 30 years later, I still have perfect teeth. Maybe bonding is an option for your older DS.

 

[PlutoPony]

Btw, my son had a permanent retainer on top and bottom until his wisdom teeth came out. After that one wire came off and they gave him the normal removable kind. Might be worth asking about the possibility of putting something like that on..

 

[Christine]

I had the exact same problem with BOTH of my kids. On one hand, with my DD, it really wasn't totally her fault. After her braces were removed, she was given the two clear retainers for top and bottom. I really feel like they don't work well and I am a firm believer in the permanent retainer on the bottom and the wire one on top. Her teeth shifted horribly.

When my son got his braces off, I insisted on the bottom retainer but got the top plastic one and he did okay.

Fast forward a few years, and my daughter got a job working at an orthodontist office. She ended up getting Invisalign at a deeply discounted cost and had her teeth straightened again. Because her bite didn't get messed up, it wasn't a super difficult job. My son, by that time, had gotten lax on wearing his top retainer and his front teeth started to spread and protrude. I sent him to my daughter's ortho and they made him a wire retainer and kept adjusting it and it really did help. I paid full price for that and it was very reasonable.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I had the exact same problem with BOTH of my kids. On one hand, with my DD, it really wasn't totally her fault. After her braces were removed, she was given the two clear retainers for top and bottom. I really feel like they don't work well and I am a firm believer in the permanent retainer on the bottom and the wire one on top. Her teeth shifted horribly.

When my son got his braces off, I insisted on the bottom retainer but got the top plastic one and he did okay.

Fast forward a few years, and my daughter got a job working at an orthodontist office. She ended up getting Invisalign at a deeply discounted cost and had her teeth straightened again. Because her bite didn't get messed up, it wasn't a super difficult job. My son, by that time, had gotten lax on wearing his top retainer and his front teeth started to spread and protrude. I sent him to my daughter's ortho and they made him a wire retainer and kept adjusting it and it really did help. I paid full price for that and it was very reasonable.

So your DS's new retainer helped close the new gaps he got later? I wonder if that would work on my DS. I asked DS if he would wear a new retainer. He said he would, as long as it didn't hurt. He says he stopped wearing the old one because once he skipped a couple of weeks, it hurt. So he didn't want to wear it any more. Well duh!!! That's why the ortho told him to wear it EVERY night.

 

[hereyago]

Honestly, I wouldn't be paying for even a retainer.

 

[elphaba91]

I think I would pay for the retainer, not because he 'deserves' it, but because if he doesn't have one then your money will be even further wasted. You could tell him it's his Christmas present, or make him do some odd jobs around the house for it or something.

Maybe he should also look at Invisalign. If the damage isn't too bad so far then he might be a good candidate.

Oh, and as far as losing them, one of my friends broke the record at her orthodontist's office for most retainers lost or broken. We were on a school trip to China and she left it on her plate at a restaurant. We had a tight schedule with short stops in different countries, plus there was a long weekend, so we had to search all over Hong Kong to try find a mouth guard she could wear at night!

 

[mom2rtk]

I think I would pay for the retainer, not because he 'deserves' it, but because if he doesn't have one then your money will be even further wasted. You could tell him it's his Christmas present, or make him do some odd jobs around the house for it or something.

Maybe he should also look at Invisalign. If the damage isn't too bad so far then he might be a good candidate.

Oh, and as far as losing them, one of my friends broke the record at her orthodontist's office for most retainers lost or broken. We were on a school trip to China and she left it on her plate at a restaurant. We had a tight schedule with short stops in different countries, plus there was a long weekend, so we had to search all over Hong Kong to try find a mouth guard she could wear at night!

Invisalign is just as expensive as traditional braces.

OP, I think he'll care more when it's his money on the line. I would pay to get a new retainer, but that's it.

Mine broke when I was in college and had no money to replace it. I have many regrets over that.

 

[zoemurr]

Wow.. I could have written this post, except it is my daughter that won't wear her retainer and my son who is great with it. I took dd back to the ortho and he said a new retainer would stop the teeth from moving any more, but won't correct what has been undone. That would be braces for 6 weeks or so, but it was $$$ and she probably still wouldn't wear it so we said no.

My son's teeth are perfect and he takes great care of them. He is only 15 but we are getting his wisdom teeth out over Christmas so they don't crowd things and mess up his smile.

For some reason between my first and second child we were given a "real" retainer and then a tray. I complained and got a wire one for second child too. Those tray ones don't seem to last long at all.

I would probably just leave it. I doubt he'll wear a new one either.

Good luck!

 

[Christine]

So your DS's new retainer help close the new gaps he got later? I wonder if that would work on my DS. I asked DS if he would wear a new retainer. He said he would, as long as it didn't hurt. He says he stopped wearing the old one because once he skipped a couple of weeks, it hurt. So he didn't want to wear it any more. Well duh!!! That's why the ortho told him to wear it EVERY night.

Yes, it did work. The ortho made a new mold and then based the retainer on that with some pressure on the front to pull the teeth back in toward his mouth (they seem to want to be "buck" teeth). His gap was only slightly apart but pulling the teeth back in toward the mouth helped to close it. He then had to go back and get the retainer tightened up. If it's severe enough, they can do a succession of new retainers and maybe you can get it done for about $600 and ultimately end up with a retainer at the end. I think the key here is that his bite and alignment is still probably pretty good, it's just the mere cosmetic stuff now which is a much easier fix. This is the basis on which Invisalign works. Just ever increasing pressure with retainers.

 

[DebbieB]

I had gaps in my front teeth and got bonding probably 30 years ago. I've had to get some touchups but they have held up well.

 

[lesliekatya]

Just out of curiosity, did the kids whose teeth got gaps after braces, have teeth pulled before braces to make room? So many kids have teeth pulled to make room for all their teeth before braces, that I wonder if that leaves larger gaps in the back when they're done.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Just out of curiosity, did the kids whose teeth got gaps after braces, have teeth pulled before braces to make room? So many kids have teeth pulled to make room for all their teeth before braces, that I wonder if that leaves larger gaps in the back when they're done.

Not my DS. He had no teeth pulled. He had a big gap between his 2 front teeth before braces. After the braces came off, the orthodontist put a permanent retainer behind his 2 front teeth. He also had a plastic clear tray retainer. When he stopped wearing the retainer, his teeth shifted. His 2 front teeth are still together. The new gaps came next to his 2 front teeth instead of between his 2 front teeth.