Unfortunately, I went through similar stuff with my oldest DS. He was also raised in a Christian home, had the kind of friends who were positive influences, homeschooled, took music lessons, etc. Some how I had the idea that all that protected him from making bad choices
It was a hard lesson for me to learn that he not only could make his own choices, some of them were 180-degrees against MY choices. I didn't know it,but we were in for a rough ride.
Without going into all the sordid details, i will tell you that DH & I decided to present a united front. When our son lied to us & got caught,he lost privileges. We gave him opportunites to rebuild trust. When he defied us & shouted bad words , he lost more privileges. We tried to continue to show him love while we drew our lines in the sand...When he became unmanageable & threatening, he lost even more privileges. He even lost the use of his room (and all his electronics)and had to bunk with his mentally handicapped little brother! Eventually he understood that we could hold out longer than he could.
It was a very difficult 5yrs for us and I understand how a child like this can knock you off-balance. I never saw it coming. DS was always such a good boy. But somewhere in his teens he lost his way. I think he was trying to stretch his wings, but he was doing it in all the wrong places and with all th wrong people. The one constant in his life was the love of his family and no matter what he did or said, we would reply with "I love you". I wish you the best with your daughter
May I tell you how it all turned out?
This man-child is now 20. He works, directs theater, & writes music. He is kind & loving to his brother & sister. He runs errands for me without complaint and pays rent to his dad. He even wrote me a long letter of apology for all the years of difficulty and asked for forgiveness. Looking back, he says that he must have gone temporarily insane because he doesn't know why he acted that way. I say, just wait 'til you have kids of your own.
