Thank you all for the hugs and kind words. I'm usually in a fog between Nov 1st and the end of April. There is so much going on during that time of year between holidays, Maddie's birthday, anniversaries of the accident and funeral, our wedding anniversary, and Josh's birthday.
In years past I've been pretty much a hermit for those six months of the year. Last Christmas was the first holiday that I actually was able to enjoy the holiday and not be overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I believe that's partly because we were at Disney World.
Disney World may just be another vacation for a lot of people, however for me its much more then that. It was the only vacation I ever got to take with Josh. Then a few months later he passed away. It has that sentimental value to it and that's why I go so much. I have family and friends joke about "Doesn't it get old?" My answer, "No, remembering my husband on his first trip to Disney World never gets old and the best place to hold onto that memory is Disney World."
Princess Nancy - Thank you for your kind words but I can tell you its been a long 3 years. I've had my good days, bad days, and days where I just couldn't handle life and didn't want to be here anymore. Yes, you are right Josh and Maddie want me to be happy and want me to move on and that's why I did so fairly quickly after they passed. I got a lot of people disgruntled about my decisions but I politely told them to go jump off a bridge

.
As far as going to school I finished my Associates two weeks before they died. I took 6 months off of school after the accident. However, after those six months I was going crazy and had to do something to get my mind off of everything. So I started my Bachelors. I have one class left and if things go as planned I should be done end of March with it. I'm on a break right now until the court junk can get finished.
To celebrate the completion of my 5 years of school yes you guessed it we are going to Disney World. I can honestly say out of all the trips I've made since they passed away this one will mean the most. The last 3 years all I've ever known is school and legal junk. This trip will come after the completion of all of this. Call it the trip to start the next chapter of my life

. After that trip I'm going to come home and start to debate what my next move is.
As far as losing weight I've been told repeatedly it will help me deal with my health issues a lot better and some of them may even go away. However, the big kicker is I was told if I lose some weight I may be able to get my TOM back that has been absent for almost a year. Well, kind of hard to concieve a baby when I have no TOM. So, the big reason I'm trying to lose this weight is so I can have another child.