Teachers... why?

[Danauk]

I am guessing here that you do not know the whole story, plus you have not given us the full facts to comment properly.
1) How old are the kids? That would perhaps make people have a different opinion.
2) What at is the school policy about students calling home?
3) Did the teacher actually know the full reason why the student wanted to phone home? Perhaps they did not or perhaps the student was being unreasonable in their request and it could have waited.

As a teacher of 10 year olds I would not allow a child to make a phone call home mid class just because they were upset and asked to. If the child was upset about something I would ask my assistant to speak to the child on their own and find out the problem, then allow them to phone if needed. I would certainly not let someone go to the office and phone home without finding out why. Also our office staff would not allow this either, phone calls home have to me made with either a note from the teacher to the office with a reason or be accompanined by a member of staff. If we didn't do this the office would be outrun by children phoning home and then we would get complaints that people could never get through to the school as the line is engaged all the time! So if your DD was in my school her walking out of class to go to the office would do her no good at all, in fact she would be in more trouble for walking out of class without permission, this is our school policy and I agree with it.
I'm sorry but I agree with Karel.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Maybe the teacher knew this and decided that he had called enough. If the child was having some sort of emotional crisis or family emergency then maybe that child shouldn't have been in the classroom to begin with.

Perhaps that is what the child was trying to make happen. Maybe that is what his parents said to do--but for whatever reason were not able to be contacted, I don't know.

My mother was military--and sometimes it did take a few calls to reach her at work when she was needed for something.

 

[miss missy]

I think that without knowing all the facts in this situation, you really can't make a judgement.


To tell your kids to simply leave a classroom withou permission is wrong!!!!

Well I know my kid, and if it was that serious she would leave. If it was a stupid thing that could wait.. she wouldn't. Is all in TEACHING your child and trusting them to make a decision.

 

[aprilgail2]

To tell your kids to simply leave a classroom withou permission is wrong!!!!

I have told my daughter since kindergarten that it is ok to leave the classroom if told no under certain circumstances and once she is out she should go to the office and tell them to call me and I will deal with it. She was told no not once, but twice when she asked to go to the bathroom and both times she wet her pants in school because she really had to go, I told her after that second time that if she is ever told no again when she has to use the bathroom she should walk out, use the bathroom then go to the office and the principal can call me and I will come down and deal with it. There are circumstances that it is OK to walk out even when told no...I talked to the lunch aides and the teacher asking if there was a porblem with her using the bathroom and they both said "well some kids abuse it and just go in for hte heck of it" When I asked does MY kid abuse it the answer was no..so why in the world would you tell her no if she was not one of hte abusers!

 

[Danauk]

OK, I started my reply then there was only one reply, by the time I posted there were 21!! Miss Missy, you seem to be adding more details each time you post and then attacking others for their views. Perhaps if you had included more details in your origional post the replies might have been better suited to the actual situation and your view. Oh and my school does not have a thing called a pass so it has not been around forever.

 

[declansdad]

Here is a question for those of you who tell your children to just leave a class after being told no - if you tell them no is it alright for them to then do it anyway?

There are many reasons that students shouldn't simply leave a classroom, safety being just one.

 

[Blondy876]

Here is a question for those of you who tell your children to just leave a class after being told no - if you tell them no is it alright for them to then do it anyway?

I have a couple more to those who tell their kids to just go. Is it just this one rule that you tell your child they can break or are there others? I mean, if you or your child feel the homework is meaningless do they have to do it? Or if the rule is that there is no eating in the classroom and your child missed breakfast do you tell them that they can eat in the room? Or how about, if the rule is to sit quietly and your child is feeling chatty do you just tell them to go ahead and talk? Seriously, where is the line?

 

[emily1982]

I think you have to trust the teachers judgement at the end of the day she/he is the professional in the classroom and is in charge of the class. You may not know the full background on this and you were not in the class and you very probably don't know the full story, prehaps something happend at the beginning of the day which you are no aware of, plus all kids cry...cool or not. Plus i don't think it's your job really to worry on that particular situation it's that child's parents.

 

[Katie]

Just a quick note...

If my child asks to call home with tears in his eyes...and is told NO. Still cannot concentrate and asks again...then YES..he has my permission to go to the office and call home.

Obviously, things are NOT going his way and staying at school at that point, would be useless.

I do NOT encourage breaking the rules..but sometimes there are certain circumstances, that needs to be taken in consideration.

I DO not know the entire story that the OP started with...but I do think a 7th grade boy in TEARS is NOT normal and should not be TREATED lightly.

 

[Karel]

Ok, the way I'm reading it is....he called home several times during the day and one time the teacher refused

So he did get a phone call home. Did the parent say,"stop calling and stay in school?" Or was the parent not home?

If he's sick, he should go to the nurse and she'll take care of it.

What is the point of letting him call home repeatedly? Did he call home once or twice before the phone call was refused?

If I was a betting person, I would bet he forgot something like a uniform or homework or a project, and he was hoping someone would bring it in for him.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

My DD is in 7th grade as well, and there aren't very many instances where I would think it would be okay to ask to go to the office to use the phone. (I have already talked to her about what to do in certain situations that might arise). There are NO instances where I would tell her to just up and leave the room without permission. She needs to explain to the teacher exactly what the problem is so that the teacher can make the right decision. I will never encourage my child to break the rules.

The OP does not know the whole story. The OP's DD does not know the whole story either. If the child has already left the room to call, and did not get a hold of the parent, they hopefully should have had enough sense to leave a message on the parent's voicemail so the parent can call back. There is no reason to go back to the office to call again. It's disruptive. And most likely, it's perfectly fine that the teacher said no.

 

[basas]

He should have been allowed to go. Simple as that. We're not talking about some little first or second grader here, we're talking about a 7th grade boy who even had a 'cool' reputation. If he's crying in class and begging to call home, do you not think that just MAYBE something is wrong!? It's middle school...why treat kids like babies?!

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

I teach 7th and 8th grade. I substitute in other classrooms. I am always walking around the campus and in the lunchroom. I see any student that looks upset, or not the way a child should be looking and I try to engage them in conversation. If I notice that they are unresponsive, I ask "how they're doing." If I sense that there's a problem, I address the situation. I ask them if they need to go to guidance and talk to someone.

I can't imagine a child coming to me, asking to call home and saying no. Unheard of. Any child this age who gets up the "nerve" to ask to make that call, there's a signal going off. A trained educator should be sensitive enough to see this. I am very upset that this was so mishandled. How could anyone be so insensitive?

I have 2 boys of my own around this age and I would be p****d off if their teachers wouldn't let them get hold of me. Not acceptable practice at all. The parent needs to contact administration at the school asap. Sensitivity training should be mandated!!!

 

[rt2dz]

This thread is bringing back memories. When I was a sophmore in HS, I went to school even though I hadn't been feeling well; I had two tests at the end of the day. I just kept getting sicker and sicker through the morning. I kept asking teachers if I could go to the nurse and they kept saying no. I was not chronically absent, a trouble/bad kid in any way, or anything--I was an office aid!; the good kid. It was just "no", even though it was pretty obvious to everyone around me that I wasn't feeling well. I even tried to go to the nurse between classes who told me I had to have a pass from a teacher.

Well, no teacher would give me a pass. So I went to the office, where they told me if teachers were saying no it must be for a reason. Well, we had pay phones. I called my Dad, who called the school & came and picked me up. Took one look at me and went straight to the doctors office.

Guess what? I had an ear infection. My first. But I was also running a temp. of 103 and my eardrum popped while in the office. I never did regain full hearing. Had I gotten to the doctor 30 minutes earlier, I would not be partially deaf in one ear now. Or in otherwords, if any one of those 4 teachers, school nurse, or office ladies had let me see the nurse...

Yeah, my parents had a nice little meeting with the head principal and my grade level prinicipal (who was at a conference that day), the 4 teachers, and school nurse. I think there were a lot of unhappy people that day.

Point is, those in authority are not always right. No one should follow blindly. But when breaking the rules, you should have first tried to work within the system and then have a good reason too.

I feel for this boy. A 7th grade boy that upset in front of peers, especially a "cool kid"; has a reason, even if he doesn't want to share it. Teachers should be respectful of kids instead of taking an all-powerful, I'm-the-authority stance.

 

[Liberty Belle]

She should have at least asked why. And maybe she did?

I don't know. As a para educator, I would have asked why and if the child seemed upset, I would have let them go (or let them use the phone in the room).

 

[snowy76]

I haven't finished reading the posts but wanted to throw this in...

I worked the school office right before DS was born, and we had many middle schoolers come to the office to use the phone. More often than not, they wanted to ask if so and so could come to their house after school, if they could go to so and so's house, or some sort of matter that should have been sorted out AT HOME.

Something that can get a preteen worked up is not necessarily a true emergency.

 

[basas]

She should have at least asked why. And maybe she did?

I don't know. As a para educator, I would have asked why and if the child seemed upset, I would have let them go (or let them use the phone in the room).

There could be a LOT of reasons why he didn't want to say 'why' in front of the entire class (which is what I got from the OP). I know if I was really upset at that age, I wouldn't want the entire 7th grade knowing about it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Here is a question for those of you who tell your children to just leave a class after being told no - if you tell them no is it alright for them to then do it anyway?

There are many reasons that students shouldn't simply leave a classroom, safety being just one.

I was never to interupt my parents when they were on the phone.

One time--a glass busted on my hand (was washing it with hot water--got my hand in to clean the bottom and inadverently pulled the glass out not realizing that it would contract).

I ALMOST got in trouble--until my stepdad realized the amount of blood gushing from my hands.

There are rules--and then there are valid reasons to disobey such as in my case.

In the real world--we would evaulate the importance of something going on--and then excuse ourselves accordingly. For good reason that isn't permitted in school..but there are times when exceptions should be made. If an admin fails to see that there are valid exceptions and rather live by the book instead of using reason to determine something, then indeed--my child would have my permission to go to the next chain in the chain of command (i.e. walk out of class to the principal for example).

 

[Tigger&Belle]

7th grade!

Would a teacher NOT let a kid go to the office to call home??? My DD told me one of the "cool kids" (not that it matters just to point out he isn't a cry baby) asked to go to the office to call home, she said he begged and the teacher never let him go, he tried to hide the tears but kids saw. I guess he went a couple other times that day too from different classes.

Sounds to me like something was bugging him and he was trying to reach home for that reason, whether it was a home problem or him I dunno, but I was sooooo mad!! I told DD if that ever happens to walk out and go to the office!!

What the heck was that teacher thinking???

edit to add Oh and he was absent the following day

Color me confused. So he did go to the office a couple of other times from other classes? If so, maybe a memo was sent out for his teachers telling them to keep him in class...that's not information that this teacher would be able to discuss with your DD or any of the other kids.

If he was really sick, he should have been at home. Could be his parents were called, but couldn't be reached. In that case he should have been kept in the health room. Or maybe it was determined by the adults (his parents and/or the nurse) that he was ok to go back to class, but the boy disagreed. Maybe he really was too sick to be there, in which case I feel bad for the boy.

It's really hard to know what was going on, who was at fault, if anyone, and if we should be passing judgement on the teacher when we don't have all the facts.

 

[Liberty Belle]

There could be a LOT of reasons why he didn't want to say 'why' in front of the entire class (which is what I got from the OP). I know if I was really upset at that age, I wouldn't want the entire 7th grade knowing about it.

Oh, true. I guess I should have said that I would take him aside to ask. No way would I address it in front of the class.