Teachers... why?

[Principessa Alba]

Do you really think that if a girl quietly explained to her teacher that her period had started, the teacher would say too bad, sit down? In my experience female teachers are sympathetic, and male teachers too embarrassed - from the minute you say "girl troubles" to say no.



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Actually, she did ask, and was told no. She was too embarrassed to say why - it was her first period. That day went down in history as the day the old witch Mrs. Simmons humiliated the really popular girl in our class.

 

[HappyLawyer]

7th grade!

Would a teacher NOT let a kid go to the office to call home??? My DD told me one of the "cool kids" (not that it matters just to point out he isn't a cry baby) asked to go to the office to call home, she said he begged and the teacher never let him go, he tried to hide the tears but kids saw. I guess he went a couple other times that day too from different classes.

Sounds to me like something was bugging him and he was trying to reach home for that reason, whether it was a home problem or him I dunno, but I was sooooo mad!! I told DD if that ever happens to walk out and go to the office!!

What the heck was that teacher thinking???

edit to add Oh and he was absent the following day

If one of my students need to call home and i ask why and they have a good enoug reason, during their lunch or recess they can go to the office and call. I agree with you if my kid needs me for an emergency and the teacher will not excuse her, then leave and go to the office and i will handle the rest, but emergencies only,

 

[belle&beast]

I can see both sides of the argument on this one, but we don't have enough information about that particular child's need to use the phone.

I do have problems when teachers do not allow kids to leave the room to use the restroom. I had 2 accidents in second grade because I was not allowed to use the restroom when I needed to go. My parents told me that I had to follow the classroom rules and I never would have walked out without permission. I had a wonderful teacher that year and I'm sure if I would have asked again, or persisted that it was an "emergency" (as they used to call it), she would have understood and let me go, but I was afraid to break the rules.

Now I am a parent and my DD will go to kindergarten next year. She has bladder issues and sees a urologist, so I don't think there will be a problem with the school making exceptions for her to use the restroom as needed. But you can bet that after my experience, she will be taught to be respectful but assertive if she ever feels that she needs to leave the classroom.

 

[SuBeat]

A child in pain is a medical emergency and as I said before - the teacher is going to want to help that child, not allow him to suffer.

In the cases mentioned by Dina, she made a decision based on information that the student gave her.

That's what I said in my earlier post. It is the teacher's business to know why a student wants to leave the room - so they can assess the situation.
QUOTE]

I usually tend to fall on the "support the teacher" side of most issues, so I've been reluctant to respond to this thread. However, I have learned from experience that we can't always trust the teacher to appropriately assess the importance of a situation.

Last year, my DS was in 6th grade. Some rough housing in PE resulted in his head hitting the gym wall. He felt fine at the time, but as the day went on the pain in his head got worse and he became nauseous and dizzy. He asked his last period teacher if he could go to the nurse's office and was told no, that he could lay down on the floor in the classroom if he felt bad. By the time he arrived at home on the bus, he couldn't complete a coherent sentence or clearly explain to me what had happened. When he told me he would "like to gargle some ice cream" I decided it was time to go to the ER. He first vomited when we arrived in the triage area.

Diagnosis? Concussion. I hate to imagine what could have happened on the way home, between the bus stop and our house. We were lucky. When I spoke to the administration I was told to advise him if need be in the future, to either go to the nurse between classes or excuse himself and go anyway if the teacher told him no. It had never occurred to him to go without permission, and I never thought I'd have to tell my child to do so.

And before anyone suggests that he may have been an abuser of trips to the nurse, that is the only time he has asked while in middle school. He broke his arm there this year, but they pretty much brought the care to him in that situation.

 

[Shere_Khan]

I tend to disagree with this "7th graders dont cry unless something is really wrong" deal. Have you ever met a 7th grader? I student taught with a group of 30 middle school 6th graders last year and there were several BOYS who would cry over forgetting homework, being teased, having to stay in for recess if they had been misbehaving. All of this was in front of most of the entire class including girls. 7th graders are emotional and everything is the most tragic thing in the world to them. I do not know why the boy was crying or almost crying but I would not be surprised if it was something as simple as this. He also may have had a valid reason, but I still stick my opinion from before. If he had called home several times that day, I doubt once more would have solved anything or was necessary.

 

[miss missy]

Originally Posted by miss missy
7th grade!

Would a teacher NOT let a kid go to the office to call home??? My DD told me one of the "cool kids" (not that it matters just to point out he isn't a cry baby) asked to go to the office to call home, she said he begged and the teacher never let him go, he tried to hide the tears but kids saw. I guess he went a couple other times that day too from different classes.

Sounds to me like something was bugging him and he was trying to reach home for that reason, whether it was a home problem or him I dunno, but I was sooooo mad!! I told DD if that ever happens to walk out and go to the office!!

What the heck was that teacher thinking???

edit to add Oh and he was absent the following day

Why did the cool kid and cry baby comment need to be added.

He had called home a couple of other times too. That does seem excessive. If he was that upset he should have gone to the nurse or the principal.

My point is this is not a child who crys or acts out in class. Yes there are some children that do attract attention to themselves over and over, who will do anything for attention, complain, whatever, and yes crying included. I am thinking of one I had in class last year, he was not considered "cool/popular" by the kids because he annoyed the kids so much... so that is what I meant by saying that, I am pointing out the type of kid is all.

In this end of the teen world a 7th grade boy crying is not going to make him popular or cool. Some here says it will, not here.

 

[Daxx]

Last year, my DS was in 6th grade. Some rough housing in PE resulted in his head hitting the gym wall. He felt fine at the time, but as the day went on the pain in his head got worse and he became nauseous and dizzy. He asked his last period teacher if he could go to the nurse's office and was told no, that he could lay down on the floor in the classroom if he felt bad. By the time he arrived at home on the bus, he couldn't complete a coherent sentence or clearly explain to me what had happened. When he told me he would "like to gargle some ice cream" I decided it was time to go to the ER. He first vomited when we arrived in the triage area.

This is for all the parents out there -- please let your child know that if they are injured in gym, even if it doesn't hurt at the time, they should see the nurse. Esp. if they have a head injury!!!

In our school, if a child is injured in any way/shape/form, the gym teacher has to fill out an injury/accident form and sends it w/the child to the nurse. I guess this isn't protocol in all schools. But, it should be! That way, the nurse can check in on a student or give him/her a note to go back to the nurse's office if they don't feel well due to injury.

W/a head injury, your child's gym teacher should have immediately sent him to the nurse, regardless of how he felt. Head injuries are something you do not mess with. The nurse should have called you to inform you of the incident and let you decide what steps to take re. treatment (stay in school and see how it goes or pick him up and consult w/doctor or go to ER). One trip to the nurse along w/a note from her re. possible concussion or explanation of what happened in gym would've resulted in him immediately going right back to her office.

Didn't mean to hijack the thread ... but if your child is injured in school, tell them to see the nurse!!!!

 

[MushyMushy]

I tend to disagree with this "7th graders dont cry unless something is really wrong" deal. Have you ever met a 7th grader? I student taught with a group of 30 middle school 6th graders last year and there were several BOYS who would cry over forgetting homework, being teased, having to stay in for recess if they had been misbehaving. All of this was in front of most of the entire class including girls. 7th graders are emotional and everything is the most tragic thing in the world to them. I do not know why the boy was crying or almost crying but I would not be surprised if it was something as simple as this. He also may have had a valid reason, but I still stick my opinion from before. If he had called home several times that day, I doubt once more would have solved anything or was necessary.

I see tears from both sexes every day.

One boy had me fooled the other day, though. In class he was doubled over in tears, complaining about not feeling well, so I offered to send him to the nurse. He was willing to "tough it out," and I even made a second offer. Well, as soon as that bell rang, he dashed out of class to lunch, and he was running all over the place after lunch at their activity period.

I think someone needs to be reminded of the story about the boy who cried wolf.

 

[darrose]

What age group are you teaching MushyMushy?

 

[MushyMushy]

What age group are you teaching MushyMushy?

6th and 8th. Quite a difference between the two! The 6th grade kids are still "little kids" and still have the elementary mentality. The 8th grade, on the other hand, wow -- they're all over the board! Some of them are physically and mentally mature, but some are still little kids. What an age. The boy I was referring to is an 8th grader.

 

[Lizzy2]

You know what I think is the real reason some posters have gotten upset? its the very real "God" complex that some teachers have. My DD's teacher, even though we actually really like her, has been known to leave some pretty "authoritative" phone messages and notes for US and we're the parents! I agree with the idea that the best way to teach kids respect is to treat them with respect. Bathroom trips and phone calls to parents are not requests that take alot of effort to accomodate. If it was against school policy for the phone call to be made then why couldn't the teacher take the student out in the hall and discuss the policy and see how they could help an obviously upset student. Kids in middle school need this kind of role modeling in order to develop more mature behavior patterns for themselves. If teachers just keep treating them like 5 y. olds in order to make their own lives easier then how will they ever grow up?

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I am the parent.
The school is not a prison.

Have you ever heard of in loco parentis?

 

[CherCrazy]

ANY circumstances???? I think not. I am one of those horrible parents who gave my DD permission to walk out of class. This after her STUPID teacher would not let her go to the bathroom to fix her contact. My DD had tears STREAMING out of ONE EYE and this witch would not let her out of the room to a mirror to fix it. I guess she'd rather have a child with a scratched cornea than have someone go to the bathroom during her class. Great choice. For those of you who don't wear hard contacts, you can easily equate the pain to one hundred pins being stuck in your eye.

Now our school district LOCKS the bathrooms between periods, then won't let the kids use the bathrooms during class. This is a school WITH paid bathroom monitors, hall passes, etc. My friend's daughter now has a severe bladder infection. Her doctor knew exactly what high school she attends, because she is treating other girls with bladder infections from our school. The doctor said that girls must be able to empty their bladders frequently at this age or risk incurring the infections.

DS's 1st period teacher would not let anyone go to the bathroom. She would say "you just left home" (use a whiney voice here). Try leaving home ten minutes before your bus arrives, 20 minute ride to school, 15 minutes homeroom, then I'd like to see how her bladder was holding up. I can't even drive 9 minutes to work without having to use the bathroom as soon as I get there.

I have one child left in school. I seriously can't wait until he's done.