Teachers and Parents- Opinions Wanted

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I'm curious on teacher/parent opinions on an issue:

Aaron and I are sitting down with our families this week to talk about a date and location for our wedding. To accommodate our teaching schedules, we are looking at either Christmas break this year or June of next year right after school lets out.

I'm leaning more towards Christmas if we can do it because it will be easier with our theme park schedules, but I'm wondering about how difficult it will be for the kids to adjust. I teach an elementary classroom for kids with Intellectual Disabilities (MR). Some of my kids have very low language skills and it can be hard to adjust to change. I'm wondering how difficult it will be fore them to adjust from Ms. B to Mrs. T. in the middle of the year. At the same time, I'm wondering if it would be easier because they will see that it is still me vs. going all summer and forgetting. Particularly because last year's teacher did not tell the families until the last day of school that she was leaving. That caused some very hard feelings with a couple of families as these kids have the same teacher every year. So I'm wondering if they went all summer without seeing me and then saw they had Mrs. T's class they would worry they had a new teacher.

Does this make sense? I'm just curious what your thoughts and opinions are. In the end we will do what works best for all involved, but we are very deliberately working around my school schedule (one idea he had was February or March, but I simply cannot take off any more than a day or two with the classroom I have).

 

[allison443]

My dd's kindergarten teacher got married during the year and she continued to use her own name for the rest of the school year. I don't know if that's something you would be willing to consider. Many women do continue to use their maiden name professionally. It would be one less thing for you to worry about, kwim?
You are considerate to take into account how this will affect your students.
Good luck with your planning.

 

[portocall]

I personally wouldn't change my name mid-year. I am a teaching assistant and was already married so it was not something that has come up for me however my son's teacher got married mid-year and would go by either name (and still does two years later as some are siblings that slip). Especially being in a special needs classroom, I can't see your students as a whole class being open to the change. My cousin who was a kindergarten teacher got married over the Christmas break and tried to make her kids call her by her new name and admits it was a losing battle. It wasn't until the following year that all the kids called her Mrs. G rather than Miss W.

As far as when you get married, do it when you want to. You can still be married and go by your maiden name for the rest of the year for work purposes only.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Do you teach summer school or have off for the entire summer? I think it would be easier to be off the week before the wedding, the wedding and honeymoon and then still have time to settle in afterwards. The Christmas break seems very short to do everything and is also not necessarily a great time for your guests unless you are having a very small wedding.

I wouldn't worry about the name change. If it is too difficult for some of the kids to manage due to their disabilities I would just let them continue with the name they know and then start anew the next year.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Most teachers I know get married when they want to get married, and let the kids continue to call them what they call them for the remainder of the school year. I can't really imagine letting this issue drive my decision making, and I would expect that many kids will call you by your old name anyway.

We have a teacher who has changed her name twice in the last couple of years (when she got serious with her current husband, she dropped her X's name that she was still using so it went X, maiden, new married in the course of about a year and a half, even though she was divorced for longer than that). Kids call all 3 names regularly and she answers to them all.

If you're worried that the kids won't get it, why don't you send them a postcard over the summer with a smiling you and a message sayig "welcome back!".

Congratulations, by the way.

 

[aprilgail2]

My dd's kindergarten teacher got married during the year and she continued to use her own name for the rest of the school year. I don't know if that's something you would be willing to consider. Many women do continue to use their maiden name professionally. It would be one less thing for you to worry about, kwim?
:

That is how the teachers who have gotten married in my daughters school work it. A few just waited until the new school year to change their names and others just kept their maiden names every year even though they were married.

 

[ilovefh]

I got married in October of 2008. I did change my name immediately. Obviously I would answer to both my married and maiden name and still do. I think the people that had the most trouble were not the students I work with, but the office staff. My mailbox still says Mrs. Maiden-Married even though I am just Mrs. Married and have informed them of this several times.

My students who never knew me as Ms. Maiden still think it is funny when someone calls me by my maiden name.

I think if you don't mind still being called by your maiden name then go ahead and get married at Christmas. I only took the day off before my wedding and then 3 days for a honeymoon (worked it into Columbus Day break). I woudl get married whenever you want to!

 

[littleteapot]

This class is special, they don't move on to a new teacher in the fall. I think you're fine changing your name at Christmas. Include them in the excitement before you go and let it be a fun/learning thing when you get back. I don't see this as a big deal at all.

Congratulations on your engagement.

 

[Pembo]

I always thought I had 2 teachers in Kindergarten...she got married mid-year and changed her name. In my memory she was a different person. lol

I taught preschool when I got married. I kept my maiden name the year after I was married. I wasn't ready to give it up yet and Mrs. P sounded OLD to me.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

My dd's kindergarten teacher got married during the year and she continued to use her own name for the rest of the school year.

That was my first thought when I read the OP, as well.

 

[golfgal]

As long as you are ok with being called either name, I don't see a problem changing mid-year. You just then start the next year only using your married name. I got married in Feb and most of the kids used my married name after that--high school teacher so the wedding plans were a 'big deal" to a lot of the girls . Some of the kids forgot and used my maiden name but there was usually one or two kids that would pipe up on class and say 'she is now Mrs. ____". It became a joke.

Now these weren't special ed kids but still, as long as you don't have a problem with them calling you either name, it won't be an issue at all.

 

[Rora]

I am a 3rd grade teacher who got married this April. While my kids wouldn't have had too big of a problem with the name change. I went from Ms. R--- to Mrs. C---, I stayed Ms. R. It was just easier for everyone- them, the parents, the school, me. Next year I will be going in as Mrs. C.

OP-I would stick with your maiden name til you rotate students. Happy planning!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Do it over Christmas break if you really want to. The kids will adjust to the name and be fine.

My dd has had teachers that got married and they all adjusted. If you think your kids could not accept the change then just have them call you the old name until the next school yr.

 

[scojos]

i have been married for nearly 13 years(ann to be celebrated at wdw) and i still teach under my maiden name, despite having changed schools so it would be easy to become mrs L not ms G, why?
because im a different person at school to at home.
kids cant find my home address/phone numer/FB account (i teach 13-18 and it has happened to colleagues)
i answer to ms G, and never to mrs L (thoughits funny when my kids school calls and they dont know who i am)
do what feels right, but you dont HAVE to change your name, i like being 2 people..kwim?
tracy x

 

[SDFgirl]

I second the suggestion to get married in December and just use your maiden name for the rest of the year.

I was married in December. It's a lovely time of year for a wedding! So festive and cozy. And if the weather's bad, who cares?

Congrats!

 

[castleview]

DD's teacher got married in April. For the most part, she's dealing with her maiden name for the rest of the year. The kids have been calling her by her married name (my kid at least), but her website, mailbox, email, etc. are all the same.

I guess it all depends on how you see the name change. I added my husbands name and slowly evolved into his last name. Personally, I don't care if someone says "Hey you!" when calling me. Kids should probably be a little more respectful though.

 

[Mermaid02]

Get married when you want to and just answer to either name. Are you going to be upset if someone calls you Miss______ ? I don't really see the big deal

Congratulations on your engagement!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

One of my closest friends has a classroom like yours. I know she cares a great deal about her students, too. You may not hear it enough, so thank you for that.

I wouldn't worry about the name issue at all. It'll work itself out one way or another. IME we tend to worry about these little types of things so we don't get so overwhelmed with the bigger issues we have to worry about, or aren't even aware we should be worried about!

I realize your kids have special needs and change is difficult (we have an Aspie in our family), but this may be a good, easy life lesson for them to learn, especially since you yourself will still be there. I know my own kids were always fascinated with name changes, particularly names of familiar stores or restaurants that changed hands, etc, so it was a subject we often talked about when they were young. They also had a teacher who changed names at one point.

Good luck.

 

[Pigeon]

I wouldn't give this a second thought. Get married when it works for you two.

If you get married at the holidays, it won't be the end of the world if some kids still call you Miss Yourlastname for a few months, but I'm sure most will pick it up. If you get married over the summer, you can tell them a week before the year ends (and send a note home if you think that is needed) that you will have a different name in the fall, but you're still the same great teacher.

 

[Sonya]

As an aside, planning a wedding and a trip AND Christmas (if you celebrate) can be he-double hockey sticks. I ended up with pneumonia. But I didn't want to wait anymore and I hate WDW in the summer.