Teacher Vent -- calling school today Am I right?

[cgcw]

I am about to have a confrontation with my DS9's 3rd grade teacher and would like to know if it's just me or if this would be a problem to any other parents.

For the first 3 years of school, DS would bring home graded papers/worksheets/tests. Not every day but most days and if they skipped a day here and there, the notebook was all the heavier the next day.

Since the start of 3rd grade, we (parents) have seen 2 sets of graded papers come home. This was because I continued to ask the teacher when we would be seeing them. I find it very difficult to monitor my son's progress without some type of feedback from the classroom. Finally, on 10/31, the teacher had the kids write a newsletter home, stating a few of the things they were working on and sent home some (not all) graded papers. Attached to that newsletter was a note from the teacher saying we would see these sent home every other week. Time goes by and we have seen 1 other newsletter since Halloween. Definately not on an every other week basis.

The final straw came last night when DS9 came home with a stack of research papers for a book they are going to write. His research entails documenting traditions and customs from one of the countries from his heritage. DS has chosen to do his work on Germany. This homework assignment he brings home yesterday was 8 pages of research needed to document Christmas foods, decorations, stories, flags, coat of arms. Way to advanced for a 3rd grader, IMHO. It took me 2 1/2 hours of my time to hunt and search for the answers. A quick phone call to a parent in another 3rd grade class told me that the other 3rd grade classes had WEEKS to complete the research. This is the second time my DS's class has been given days notice to complete a project while the other 3rd grade class has been given much more time. The kicker to me is that we will not be seeing this project come home with any type of grade on it.

The other problem I have with her is she will tell the kids "okay, spelling test on Monday". DS will come home from school and I'll inquire as to how his test went and he'll tell me, "oh, we didn't have time today, we'll do it tomorrow".

Ugggh!! I am very frustrated and plan on calling the school today to discuss these issues with the teacher. I also feel I have given her more than the benefit of the doubt -- several times on many issues. The teacher is new to our school but not new to teacher -- although her story to me in the past has been that she hasn't been in the classroom for several years.

This is not a slam against all teachers -- up until now we have worked with mostly fantastic teachers. I'm not sure where the problem here is but I suspect DS's teacher just isn't very organized.

Thanks for letting me ramble. Sometimes just putting things down helps to put them in perspective. And, I'm interested in hearing others opinions. TIA.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How much time did she give for the research paper?

 

[cgcw]

Oops, sorry about that. DS received the packet on Monday -- it's due on Wednesday. The other classes had at least the weekend to do their research. And, she told DS that it has to be in his own handwriting, a typed page of information from the internet is not acceptable.

 

[tlgoblue]

First, take a deep breath. Think about what you would tell your 3rd grader if he was saying these things himself. What I would be telling my kids is that usually, you will get very fine teachers, but on occasion, you will get a dud. Now for some perspective. I want you to understand this will not affect your child's chances of getting into Harvard.

I doubt your talk with the teacher will do much to change the situation. Maybe she's having a bad year, and it's all she can do to make it to class. DD's 5th grade teacher is having such a year, and I am very disappointed. DS had her twice, and she is an excellent teacher. DD was so excited to have her. Unfortunately, her mother has been battling cancer, her son is in the mid-east, and the school cut many programs that she depended on. She is scatterbrained, to say the least, this year.

Third grade is a pivotal year. Third grade is important, because it teaches children how to be students. No more spoon feeding. That is a hard year for all, including parents. Children are often lazy about homework, and don't keep the parents informed. It is usually this year that the burden of that shifts more to the student. Make sure that you are getting the full story from your DS. I'm not suggesting that DS is being in anyway deceitful, just unaccustomed to the difference in structure. That would be my biggest concern for your DS. Maybe a better way to handle the situation is to try and help her achieve the goals you have for your DS. Offer to help grade papers. Maybe help in the classroom, if your schedule permits. Also, speak to other parent in DS's class and see if they have the same concerns. Most importantly, remember, the year is almost 1/2 over.

If you do decide to "confront" the teacher, try to approach her as a partner in your child's education. After all, you are you child's first teacher. Don't rely too heavily on her to be the frontline. She hasn't anywhere near the investment in your child as you do.


Good luck!
Tracy

 

[Lanshark]

Calmly call the school and discuss your concerns. I have found, when dealing with the public school, it is best to keep good documentation if you have an issue. Write down your concerns so you don't forget and leave something out. I would be very careful about "attacking" the teacher (I'm not suggesting you would). If you present your facts they should speak for themselves.

 

[Bojangles]

IMHO. It took me 2 1/2 hours of my time to hunt and search for the answers.

You did his research for him?

Did you bring up these issues at conference time? 3rd grade is a big adjustment for a lot of students. They are expected to keep up with their own homework assignments without a lot of reminders. In a lot of states they are busy preparing for end of year testing.

 

[cgcw]

Originally posted by Bojangles
You did his research for him?

Yes, I did his research. We worked on the project together for a good 1 1/2 hours before he needed to go to bed. It was difficult to find the answers for his paper -- such as, what do the symbols mean on the German Coat of Arms. A lot of the search results would come up in German -- not something me or my DS can read. Also, it's not geared towards a 3rd graders reading level. I needed to weed out the information which would pertain to his work. My DS does not use the internet for things other than where we guide him to go. He cannot sit down and use a search engine to achieve his answers.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by cgcw
Yes, I did his research. We worked on the project together for a good 1 1/2 hours before he needed to go to bed. It was difficult to find the answers for his paper -- such as, what do the symbols mean on the German Coat of Arms. A lot of the search results would come up in German -- not something me or my DS can read. Also, it's not geared towards a 3rd graders reading level. I needed to weed out the information which would pertain to his work. My DS does not use the internet for things other than where we guide him to go. He cannot sit down and use a search engine to achieve his answers.

Have they done a unit on research? Maybe the teacher wanted the kids to use the methods she has taught in school.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Man that sucks! But you are stuck.

Here is what I would do. Help ds do the paper and have it turned in on time.
Then I would go up to school, go through my kids desk (after school) and explaining to the teacher that ds keeps bringing stuff home to do at the last minute. You had talked to other parents who told you that they had many days to complete the project.
(After all this could true)
If it was my older dd it WOULD be true. (had to do this alot, I go through her locker now but ah-HA she has to get her assignment book signed )

She will either confirm that OR fess up and say she gave it late. Then you can go into he really needed more time speech and by the way ....etc...

That kind of approach is better since you are not 100% sure she assigned that Monday, or are you?

 

[suzannews]

I've also had issues with my DD's 3rd grade teacher this year. I thought it was just me. I email her and question all kinds of things my daughter brings home/ tells me. While I understand they think by the time the kids are in the 3rd grade, they should be able to take on more responsibility and harder assignments, I don't want my daughter to fall through the cracks.

 

[JESW]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this! I also have a DS9 in 3rd grade. His teacher is AWESOME!! (she is in the running for the Disney teacher award)

I am not calling on your son, but are you sure he isn't getting all the information he needs ahead of time and "forgetting" about it? I know that my DS puts things off until the last minute and I know about things because I am in frequent contact with his teacher. He will also bring piles of completed work home all at once - I think it's because his desk is overflowing!

When DS had a book report due a while back they had several WEEKS to work on it - including an outline form and other helpful sheets to complete. (it was their first real written book report) There is NO WAY they would be asked to complete a project like your sons in such a short period of time.

Does his teacher use e-mail? Most of the teachers in DS's school use their e-mail to keep in touch with parents. I know many of them communicate that way on a regular basis. Due to other issues with my DS I see his teacher face-to-face at least once a week lately.

I hope that things get better and you can find some resolution to the issues!!!!

Jill

P.S. I see you are getting some flack about doing the research for your DS....if that was me I would have had to do it too - but with DS right next to me. There would have been NO WAY he would have/could have done that on his own.

 

[tlgoblue]

It's not so much that they think your children should be more responsible, it is their job to help them understand how school works, and that they will need to be more responsible, to be a successful student. It is a very tough year. Don't you remember the 3rd grade? Other years that will have similar frustrations are 5th (or 6th if there are still Jr. Highs out there), while the students learn to be even more independent, and 12th grade, when it's for all the marbles, or so it seems.

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[Suzy Mouse]

I think you have 2 options.

1. Make an appointment to discuss these issues with you child's teacher. Lay it all on the table with her and point out your areas of concern. Tell her that if you don't see any change you will take it to the next level. If you feel that this won't work...

2. Call the school and request a conference with the principal AND the teacher. Tell them what you are disappointed in and what you would like to see change. I'm sure the teacher will respond quickly to making changes if the principal is involved.

Just remember...The squeaky wheel gets the most oil.

 

[cgcw]

Originally posted by The Mystery Machine
That kind of approach is better since you are not 100% sure she assigned that Monday, or are you?

I am fairly certain my DS is bringing home his papers on time. I received a call from another parent questioning the timing of the project. It was after that I began to inquire with parents of the other class.

This is not the first time. Back in October, he came home with a project due within the next couple of days based on a book they had read in class. Again, in talking to parents of the other classes, our class was shortened on the completion time.

I am very frustrated. There has been nothing taught in the classroom as far as how to go about research. In fact, yesterday, they watched the movie "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". I feel this was not the best use of time, but understand kids need a break from the regular classroom routine. The teacher used this time to "work on the computer".

Another issue I have is her lack of cursive writing. The teacher doesn't feel there is a need for them to work on cursive (as the other 3rd grade classes are) because next year they will be having laptops and learning to type. That was the answer when the teacher was questioned as to why she didn't put much emphasis into cursive writing.

I know it's only another 5 months until the end of school but I've finally reached my "boiling" point.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by Suzy Mouse

2. Call the school and request a conference with the principal AND the teacher. Tell them what you are disappointed in and what you would like to see change. I'm sure the teacher will respond quickly to making changes if the principal is involved.

I wouldn't do this without talking to the teacher alone first. If it is an issue with the child having a desk full of graded papers and forgetting assignments until the last minute, then that could be a very embarassing meeting for the parent. Even if it is the teacher's fault, why confront her in front of the principal without giving her time to address the parent's concerns first?

Many third grade classes are not working on cursive writing. With all of the testing that is required at the end of the year, it is no longer a priority. Also, a lot of schools would rather teach keyboarding skills. That may not be the teacher's decision.

If the teacher doesn't know you are concerned, how can she be expected to help resolve the situation? The school year is already half over.

 

[sharbear]

We had this problem with my DD K teacher. She was so disorganized. What you are describing is exactly what was occuring that year. I talked to other parents and knew that it wasn't my child who was disorganized it was the teacher. Also I helped out in the classroom and saw first hand what was happening. She also was not communicating with the other K teacher and it was causing a lot of problems.

You have several options. One you could talk to the teacher and see if it improves. Personally I don't think anything will and it sounds as discussed your concerns with the teacher. Is there a team leader for each grade. I would call that teacher and ask what you should be expecting. I would be non-confrontational but just inquire as to expectations as far as projects and receiving progress reports. Then I would discuss your concerns with the principal. The principal's job is to oversee their teacher's. Esp. a new teacher should be supervised very closely, even if this is not their first job. If the prinicpal has not done so yet, you should expect that they observe this teacher's classes.

If the principal is not cooperative, I would call someone on the school board. You would be suprised that a call to a school board member will get a person moving. That's what the school board is for. They are your representatives into the school and they hear these kind of things all the time.

Third grade is a very important year and I see a lot of red flags. If the principal doesn't know what is going on they can't do anything about it.

I had a problem with my DD band director last year. The kids were very unprepared for different events. She was very disorganized (she was getting married but she still had to preform her job). I did not make it a personal attack on the teacher but expressed my concerns with her lack of preperation and lack of comunication (at one concert she never addressed the crowd). I was very nice about it and organized in what I wanted to discuss with the principal. I had never complained about a teacher before so the principal knew that I had legimate concerns. I also called the school board member who was the music liasion. I am happy to report that the principal worked with the teacher to improve her organization and by the spring concert things had improved greatly. Both the principal and the school board member said that they had no idea what was going on and they were glad that I had brought this up to them.

 

[RitaZ.]

Another issue I have is her lack of cursive writing. The teacher doesn't feel there is a need for them to work on cursive (as the other 3rd grade classes are) because next year they will be having laptops and learning to type. That was the answer when the teacher was questioned as to why she didn't put much emphasis into cursive writing.

Most teachers/schools don't focus on cursive writing these days. When my oldest was in 3rd grade, I was also concerned about this. If you think about it, kids will do most of their projects on a computer. Also with all the emphasis on testing, there is only so much time and cursive writing isn't at the top of the list. At least, that's what I have seen. I'm no longer concerned about that, we just practice cursive writing at home.

As for approaching the teacher, do it calmly (I'm not saying that you won't). Hear both sides of the story, from the teacher and your DS. It does sound like the teacher is disorganized and that has an affect on the students. How can you demand organization from your students, if you're not organized yourself?

I do agree that 3rd grade is a difficult year. If the teacher is having personal problems and it's affecting her teaching the students, then the kids get the short end of the stick. To me, that isn't acceptable! If you find that is the case, then you have to speak to the principal about getting an assistant to help the teacher or some other compromise/arrangement. If other parents feel the same way, then ask them to join you. Also document everything, trust me on this.

Good luck getting this resolved!

 

[trishy]

You definitely need a sit-down with this teacher and the principal regarding this situation. Letting it go and writing off this teacher's behavior as a bad year will not help your child nor the other ones in the class. Teacher needs a lesson. The thing that concerns me most about your story is the fact you are getting his graded work so late after the assignment was completed. The reason work is graded is to have an idea of what the child has learned or is having problems with. I'm a big believer in correcting mistakes on assignments (even if it doesn't help boost their grade - irrelevant). This work needs to be returned right away so it can be reviewed in a timely manner. Waiting until the end of a month or more will only cause confusion to a child given the speed of a lesson. It is not uncommon for a third grader to go through 3 or 4 chapters per month in math and language arts, 2 chapters in social studies and science. This assigned Christmas report sounds like a case of poor management of time by the teacher and now you, as the parent, get stuck making up for her mistakes by helping your child with lengthy research. If I were in your shoes, I would simply call the teacher to set up a conference (include the principal if you feel comfortable with that). Explain these issues along with reasons why you feel they need to be corrected, (this is the biggy that often gets the desired results) offer to help with the grading, preparation of assignments such as copying, cutting, stapling, counting/separating papers - these can be done at home - (whatever YOU are willing to do), or typing/printing the newsletter. This way, you become involved in a way that gives you the "heads up" on what is going on in the class at all times. It really sounds as though this teacher needs some classroom help in addition to learning organization skills. Whatever you decide to do, be calm and courteous no matter how angry/frustrated you are. Good luck.

 

[Suzy Mouse]

Principals go in to observe teachers and base their performances on what they see in the classroom. Usually the teachers are aware of when their observation will be and they are able to create a wonderful lesson that satisfies the principal.

Being a good teacher goes beyond what/how they teach. There is no way that a principal could be aware of such a situation as yours unless he or she is made aware of it. You have a huge say in what goes on in your child's education. It's your right to make the principal know what's going on.

I still say that you need to talk to the principal. I wouldn't do it in a confrontational way. As always start off with something positive and then simply state your concerns.

Good luck

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by Suzy Mouse
It's your right to make the principal know what's going on.

Yes it is. After you have the facts and know for sure what is going on. Suzy, would you like it if someone went right to your boss with a lot of accusations not knowing for sure if they were unfounded? Or would you rather this person did the fair thing and came to you first to try to find out what was going on and see if you could resolve it together?