Talked Ourselves Out of Going To Maui

[RUDisney]

We've had our living trust set up since the boys were toddlers. That's how paranoid I am. Even having that set up I won't leave them. It was hard at the time to think about the different ages they would inherit their money. More so was trying to figure out who would love your kids as much as you do yourselves. I don't know if that is even possible to find. They would be pretty rich if something was to happen to us. We did just revise the trust 4 years ago and probably need to do it again.

Deb

As an adoptive parent, I can assure you that we love our kids far more than their parents ever did. If they had non-alcoholic parents who could raise them, I'd believe that we'd love them just as much as their birth parents. It's amazing how a child, living in your home, can get into your heart so deeply.

I know that the guardians we've selected for our kids, should something happen to us, would love them every bit as much as we do even if we didn't leave behind a sizable nest egg for them.

 

[rie'smom]

I thought you were paranoid about the parties the kids would throw while you're gone. This might sound goofy to some but I just figure God has a plan for us and it's out of my hands.

 

[wvjules]

I don't think there is anything remotely helicopterish about not wanting to fly thousands of miles from your kids for a week.

I have a plane thing too. I know it's not rational, and I do still fly, but I always think I might die. I have only flown away from my kids once and it did make me uncomfortable. We had a will etc. and they were with family, but I still had nervous thoughts. Many people have these fears - don't let anyone be DISnasty to you.

How about taking a vacation at a closer location where you can drive? I agree with the other poster - Maui will still be there in a few years.

Driving has more dangers than flying. I think they should just stay home and play it safe.

 

[DawnCt1]

Sorry but the only thing I can think of is "helicopter"
tigercat

Helicopter? I don't think so. I have known some absolutely wonderful parents who have left some very trust worth, wonderful teenagers home alone, and it hasn't had a happy ending. One of those parents came home to find their very trustworthy, high honor roll DD in jail for hosting a party with alcohol. They left her there for the weekend. A few friends over to the house turned into a party for every teen within 3 surrounding towns. She didn't invite them, but the friends of the friends of the friends did. This is a story that gets played out all of the time.
I almost forgot to mention; $18,000 worth of damage.

 

[wvjules]

Helicopter? I don't think so. I have known some absolutely wonderful parents who have left some very trust worth, wonderful teenagers home alone, and it hasn't had a happy ending. One of those parents came home to find their very trustworthy, high honor roll DD in jail for hosting a party with alcohol. They left her there for the weekend. A few friends over to the house turned into a party for every teen within 3 surrounding towns. She didn't invite them, but the friends of the friends of the friends did. This is a story that gets played out all of the time.
I almost forgot to mention; $18,000 worth of damage.

I see leaving for fear of teenagers being teenagers as something completely different than being afraid to leave them on the chance that you might die in a plane crash.

 

[RUDisney]

Helicopter? I don't think so. I have known some absolutely wonderful parents who have left some very trust worth, wonderful teenagers home alone, and it hasn't had a happy ending. One of those parents came home to find their very trustworthy, high honor roll DD in jail for hosting a party with alcohol. They left her there for the weekend. A few friends over to the house turned into a party for every teen within 3 surrounding towns. She didn't invite them, but the friends of the friends of the friends did. This is a story that gets played out all of the time.
I almost forgot to mention; $18,000 worth of damage.

While I agree with WVJules' point, I think this is the bigger worry. We went to NYC for a day with our friends who had a teenaged daughter... actually, 2 of them, but one came with us with her date. The other stayed at home and in just one day threw a party that wasn't supposed to be. Friends spread the word that Mom and Dad were out of town for the day and many teenagers started showing up. The judge who lives across the street from them alerted the parents via cell phone. Even with our friends calling home to break up the party, they came home to some teens passed out in their backyard and basement.

They have a trustworthy, good DD who had things get out of hand quickly because her friends took the opportunity to party at her house.

 

[DawnCt1]

While I agree with WVJules' point, I think this is the bigger worry. We went to NYC for a day with our friends who had a teenaged daughter... actually, 2 of them, but one came with us with her date. The other stayed at home and in just one day threw a party that wasn't supposed to be. Friends spread the word that Mom and Dad were out of town for the day and many teenagers started showing up. The judge who lives across the street from them alerted the parents via cell phone. Even with our friends calling home to break up the party, they came home to some teens passed out in their backyard and basement.

They have a trustworthy, good DD who had things get out of hand quickly because her friends took the opportunity to party at her house.

Even the best of kids would have difficulty coping with this scenario. A few weeks ago a father was arrested for hosting an underage drinking party. He insisted that he simply hosted a party. When he noticed that kids were arriving with alcohol, he attempted to turn them away. He thought that they had left but later realized that they had parked on another street and showed up in his back yard. Again, he said he tried to get rid of them without calling the police. The police were alerted by someone else and he was in trouble. Now if his story is true, here is an adult that couldn't control the situation without involving the police. Does anyone think that a teen could handle it any better? Most teens would be very reluctant to call the police on their peers.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I see leaving for fear of teenagers being teenagers as something completely different than being afraid to leave them on the chance that you might die in a plane crash.

Exactly...

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

We travel extensively with and without our kids. Our kids (now ages 21, 16 and 10) also travel extensively without us.

I will never put my life on hold for fear of us both dying at the same time. That could happen any given day while we're out food shopping.

I will say this - I will never leave our kids home alone - house parties are a nightmare in our neck of the woods. We usually have our daughter's godparents stay at the house when we leave the kids behind. They love chilling with the kids, and we go away without worry.

Right now, our two youngest are finishing up their 7th week of sleepaway camp. One is on a 19-day wilderness trip to Northern Quebec, the other is climbing a mountain somewhere in New England. My dh and I have been away alone twice this summer and are going back up to pick the two from camp next week, leaving a few days early to antique and relax together.

I didn't stop living when I had kids. I understand my responsibilty to them and have had guardianship and wills made since they were born and have made changes consistently over the years so that we know, for sure, our kids will be with people who love them and have their best interests at heart. If something were to happen to us, they'd be well taken care of.

Now, if you made your decision for financial reasons - that's another ball of wax. Perhaps a weekend trip to a spa or something closer to home would better fit the budget and make you more used to being away from the kids. Honestly, for us, it is magic time. And, for our kids, they love it too!

Happy Anniversary!

 

[RUDisney]

Even the best of kids would have difficulty coping with this scenario. A few weeks ago a father was arrested for hosting an underage drinking party. He insisted that he simply hosted a party. When he noticed that kids were arriving with alcohol, he attempted to turn them away. He thought that they had left but later realized that they had parked on another street and showed up in his back yard. Again, he said he tried to get rid of them without calling the police. The police were alerted by someone else and he was in trouble. Now if his story is true, here is an adult that couldn't control the situation without involving the police. Does anyone think that a teen could handle it any better? Most teens would be very reluctant to call the police on their peers.

This is a very good point. The kids have a problem kicking their friends out because of the way they'll be treated like a jerk at school. The father didn't want to involve the police for fear of retribution from the parents, potentially, and to not get the kids in trouble for being kids. That's my fear of my kids having parties with me supervising. You just can't underestimate the will of a teen who wants to drink.

 

[disykat]

Driving has more dangers than flying. I think they should just stay home and play it safe.

Most people who fear flying KNOW that it's not rational - that doesn't change it. I guess I'll just wait until I discover a fear of yours some day and flame you. Maybe I'll understand your motive better then.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Q: Is flying safer than driving?

A: Statistically that is the case if you figure it on a per-hour basis. When you figure it on a per-trip basis, car, train and bus come out safer than the airplane.


So, if you are unbiased and consider an "apples to apples" comparison on a per trip basis, flying is more dangerous than driving, taking the train, or the bus. Surprising? Data can contradict conventional wisdom if conventional wisdom is biased, as it is in this case.

Biased "experts" use the per-hour statistic because it favors aviation because it spreads the riskiest parts of flying--takeoff and landing--over all the hours of a flight, therefore making flying seem safer than driving, when the risk of takeoff and landing are thusly spread over the hours of an average flight, which are much longer than the average car trip.


former Dept. of Transportation inspector general Mary Schiavo


(Interview)



Insight on the News; 6/9/1997; Berg, Stacie Zoe

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Concern Over Airline Safety" (editorial, Nov. 16) perpetuates a myth that has surfaced periodically for years. That is that "flying is still safer than driving to the airport."

Not true. The only acceptable method to compare risk between air travel and automobile travel is based on the number of deaths per hour of exposure.

Data from a respected safety analyst, Trevor Kletz, show that air travel has a fatal-accident frequency rate four times higher than that for driving a car. For airplane travel there are approximately 2.4 deaths per million hours of exposure; for travel by car the figure is 0.6 deaths per million hours of exposure.

Simply put, for the same number of hours riding in a car or riding in an airplane, you are four times more likely to be killed in an airplane than in a car. JOHN M. HOFFMANN President Safety Engineering Labs Inc. Detroit, Nov. 22, 1994

 

[3jsmommy]

OP, I totally understand your decison.
My DH hates to fly, we flew anyway... before we had children.
He is even more wary of flying now that we are parents & I can't say the idea of both of us getting on a plane together would thrill me either.
Now I know that it would cause more stress than it's worth. I'd rather drive to a beautiful hotel for a few days to get away with him. The reason we go away is to relax & unwind..that would not happen for him knowing he had to get back on that plane. Do you live close to a nice resort where you could get away for a few days at least?
As for the helicopter comments...