Taking your spouse to a school reunion

[taximomfor4]

I asked about this here on the DIs before dh's reunion. Largely based on the advice here, I went with dh. DH seemed very happy that I opted to come. HOWEVER, due to my own misgivings about not knowing anyone, etc, I MET him there. Drove my own car. I stayed for about half the time, and then left. DH walked me to my car, and even thanked me for coming. I am glad I did...even though there was only ONE other spouse there.

For much of the time, I could tell dh was trying to stick near me. I kept telling him I was fine, chatting with someone he'd just introduced me to -- I didn't want him to feel like he had to entertain me. We had a nice couple of hours together, and then he got to just relax and enjoy himself and not worry about me for a couple of hours.

 

[bumbershoot]

For some reasons, my reunions are stupidly expensive, so hubby didn't attend the one he was around for.

I liked it. He and DS stayed in the hotel room watching movies on demand (reunion was downstairs) and I got to play with my old friends. I got to really connect with people, not just stay in the realm of introductions, because it was just me.

Actually, most people were by themselves...I can only think of two spouses off the top of my head, unless the spouses also graduated with us.

Of course the big issue with us was DS, b/c no kids were allowed.


Hubby's reunions have been very inexpensive, and he already says he really wants me there, so we'll have to see about that.

 

[Micca]

If you don't go the cheerleaders will all hit on him

 

[scrapquitler]

At my 10 year reunion, it seemed that most people came with their spouses. At my 20th, it seemed like almost nobody did...and we all had a GREAT time.

My 25th is this year, and I'll be going alone most likely. My DH is not the most social guy, and he doesn't know anyone (okay maybe two or three) people that will be there, so I'll go by myself, we'll save $75 or $100 and we won't have to find a babysitter.

 

[SydSim]

If you don't go the cheerleaders will all hit on him

So true!! They never paid any attention to him in HS. He's a hottie (if I do say so myself) now!

 

[EMom]

DH went to a school with a graduating class of over 750. He was shy and I was the polar opposite. It is the truth that if we had met in HS, we would have NEVER gotten together.

I went with him to his 10th reunion and while he was chatting with some friends, I recognized some girls I'd known from university. (DH and I went to a pretty big one...close to 40,000 students.) So I talked to them for a while before meeting back up with DH. He gives me this quizzical look and asks how I knew X, Y and Z and I told him we were friends in college. He just laughed and said, "It figures you would have made friends with the cheerleaders. Those girls were stuck up in HS and wouldn't give most people the time of day." I said, "Huh.....They were always really nice to me." He just rolled his eyes and said, "Of course, they were nice to YOU."

After that, it was ,"DW is friends with the cheerleaders," when we ran into mutual friends. We still laugh about it. I'm just glad I met him in college, when he had come out of his shell a bit. But if he had ever seen me hanging around with his HS's cheerleaders, he would have bolted and run the other way.

DH came to one of my reunions once. I grew up in a small town and I know my classmates as well as most people know their siblings. He finds us fascinating to watch. Even after decades away from each other, we can communicate with a look, a nod of the head or something else "outsiders" would never notice. It's more like a family reunion than a class reunion.

We avoided the last one I was invited to. The main party was held at the home of an old.....Well, I can't actually call him a boyfriend, because we only went out once. Once was enough. He was the BMOC and I had a major crush. The one date cured me of that. We went out when I was 15 or so and through the years, his taste in females has stayed at about the 15-16 year old level, despite him growing decades older. I told DH I did not think I could stand going to a party at that guy's house and trying to keep a straight face. DH thought it would be interesting to meet him.

 

[bumbershoot]

My DH's and my 10 Year Reunion is just around the corner... we were high school sweethearts (different high schools), so I know most of his old friends. I will NEVER go to mine, but I am sure he will want to go to his. This post just reminded me how much I dread it! I hated high school. UGH!!!

Hope you have fun!

As an FYI, this is the one bit of good advice my stepmom ever gave me....at the 10 year reunion, it's all still very much like HS. Cliques are still cliques, you might talk to people you didn't know but it's not likely.

Then at the 20 year, people are just people.

I found that to be basically true! Actually, at the 20 year, I noticed that people grouped themselves based on what elementary school they had gone to (assuming they hadn't moved in later in their childhood). So my tiny elementary school kind of grouped together (we all definitely *recognized* each other faster than other people we'd known almost as long!), and I noticed it with the other people too...there were 3 elementary schools that fed 2 junior/middle schools that fed the 1 HS.

I will say, though, that the really heavy HS cliques did still exist. The only difference was...no one wanted to listen to them! The cheerleaders at my school were the reunion organizers, and they didn't do the sound in the room very well, so only the first 3 rows of people could hear the person on the microphone. They didn't realize that, and decided to scream (including a profanity!) for everyone to shut up while they talked. Since they used to do that very same thing (scream, but without the profanity) at football games when they decided we weren't paying enough attention, it wasn't that big of a surprise, and I loved how few people actually listened to them this time.

What I'm saying is...even for the most diehard "I hated school" person (me!), going to the reunions is something I'm very glad I did.

At my 10 year reunion, it seemed that most people came with their spouses. At my 20th, it seemed like almost nobody did...and we all had a GREAT time.

Yeah I can agree with that! But it kind of seemed like the ones married by the 10 year were sort of showing off...in my school we actually had "most feminine" and "most masculine", and the former was just a tiny little thing, and for the 10 year she was just *perfectly* pregnant...not in the fat stage, not in the "omg when will this be over what has happened to my nose" stage...just perfect bumpage. Harumph. So glad I brought my rocker boyfriend with the silver vinyl pants to that one....

 

[tennvalgirl]

If you don't go the cheerleaders will all hit on him

The "cheerleaders" probably don't look like cheerleaders anymore.
You're probably safe.

 

[dbogen]

The "cheerleaders" probably don't look like cheerleaders anymore.
You're probably safe.

And the "hot" football players and bald and overweight.

 

[tennvalgirl]

And the "hot" football players and bald and overweight.

It happens

But most of them still think they're hot.

 

[NCRedding]

DH and I graduated in the same class so we go together but don't stay together. We're too busy sociallizing with everyone else.

I agree that the reunions get more fun the older we get. 10th was cliquish and people spent time trying to impress the others. After that it was just visiting, although like bumbershoot, I noticed at the 25th that we were grouping by elementary schools--very odd. Next year is the 30th and we've just started planning.

I have also noticed that fewer spouse attend each reunion, unless they had some connection to the school.