Taking your child's friend on trip?

[Snurk71]

This isn't so much a DVC-specific question. But I assume DVCers have more experience "treating" guests to a visit, and this board is generally more friendly than some of the others.

DD10 (only child) is getting to the age where she's wanting to take a friend on trips - mom and dad alone aren't going to cut it all of the time during the tween and teen years. We're fine with it, but are a little unsure of what to expect the friend's family to cover cost-wise. We're not looking for room assistance, even though we'd probably upgrade from a 1BR to a 2BR with 4 people - we won't offer it every trip and will only do it if we're comfortable splurging more points on the 2BR.

We see the other out of pocket costs as:

Airfare - $200 - $250
Park tickets - $300 - $400
Food - $50/day
Souveniers - ???

At first we thought we'd cover the food and ask the friend's family to cover the air, park tickets, and souveniers. But the more we've thought about it, that would be $500+ for a family to send their child off to WDW - without them - and DD might not get any takers to go along. So now we're leaning towards covering the park ticket too, which would hopefully cut down the other family's cost to $200-$250 for the air. That puts our additional cost at $500+, but I guess we're considering that part of the cost of having an only child. If we were to cover all of the costs (including airfare), I don't think we'd have very many trips with a friend tagging along. I could see us taking a friend every other year if we get the air covered though.

Curious if any others have taken along a child from another family (unrelated) and how you treated the additional cost. Or, would you consider parting with the airfare to send your child on vacation with another family. We wouldn't think twice about covering the airfare for such a trip, but I don't know if we're "normal" or "unusual".

Thanks

 

[Pakey]

We have taken friends of our children many times (our children are adults now) and we only expected the other family to pay for the child's spending money. We covered the vacation itself as our guest.

 

[stmize]

We have taken friends of our children many times (our children are adults now) and we only expected the other family to pay for the child's spending money. We covered the vacation itself as our guest.

We did this in nov with ds friend we paid for all expenses except spending money

 

[ldo]

when we take a friend on ther trips, we pay everything if no airfare involved. For our next WDW trip, we might let DD14 take a friend. We will drive and use a 1 day ticket leftover from free dining years ago for a day at WDW and then we will pay to upgrade for WP&M. We will ask friend's parents to pay for 1 day ticket to IOA (about $90). Also, if they have never been to WDW, many have no idea how $$$ WDW is---as many local amusement parks have annual passes for well under $100.
Friends work really well for beach trips, like DVC-HHI, where there is less expense, IMHO.

 

[goingsouth]

My DD (15) is taking a friend with her this time.
We did upgrade to 2 BR- I asked that they pay the plane ticket and park tickets. The parents think that is a great offer!

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

We've taken along kids' friends many times. When they were younger, we generally covered everything for those we invited to tag along. Once they hit college, expenses above the room reservation were the responsibility of the guests, but we usually treat the entire group to a communal dinner when we're there too.

On a side note, when the kids were younger and friends came along, I always made sure to have the guests' parents sign a medical release form and provide insurance cards. If a guest has an accident while in your care, you want to make sure you have the ability to obtain emergency treatment for them, if necessary, and that the guests' parents accept financial responsibility for any care that is rendered.

 

[robinb]

My DD is also an only child and we brought a friend for her last August. We split our stay between POR (with free dining) and AKV Jambo in a 1BR. We started at POR and paid for 10-day park hoppers as part of the free dining deal. We saved ours for our next trip since we had APs. We asked for the friend's family to kick in for either their DD's park pass or her airfare and for her spending money. They paid for her airfare and drove us to the airport. We contacted her friend's family before my DD talked to the friend and we worked everything out before we told the girls.

I know that some people think that you should treat 100% (or nearly so) since you did the inviting but we simply could not afford to do that. My DD's friend's family was happy to kick in for their DD to go to WDW.

 

[Donna M]

When we have taken other kids we have them pay for air, park tickets and souveniers. We talk to the parents first and tell our child not to mention anything to the friend in case he/she can't go. We give the parents an amount and they write a check. Hasn't been a problem with the two families which we know well enough.

I would not expect another family to pay for my child to fly somewhere. We can't afford to pay for their child to come with us.

 

[dianeschlicht]

My DD is also an only child and we brought a friend for her last August. We split our stay between POR (with free dining) and AKV Jambo in a 1BR. We started at POR and paid for 10-day park hoppers as part of the free dining deal. We saved ours for our next trip since we had APs. We asked for the friend's family to kick in for either their DD's park pass or her airfare and for her spending money. They paid for her airfare and drove us to the airport. We contacted her friend's family before my DD talked to the friend and we worked everything out before we told the girls.

I know that some people think that you should treat 100% (or nearly so) since you did the inviting but we simply could not afford to do that. My DD's friend's family was happy to kick in for their DD to go to WDW.

Robin, I just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed seeing the pictures of your DD enjoying her vacations in your posts over the years! She is become quite a young lady already!

 

[DMKEDM]

My DS is also an only child and I've taken one or more friends of his to Disney w/us for years--at least 5-6 times prior to joining DVC and once or twice each year since DVC.

When the kids were younger (10 up through high school), I started by finding out from DS which friend(s) he wanted to invite -- he always wanted to bring one of the kids I considered "surrogate kids" of mine...our house was always "kid central"...and those kids I was delighted to take...

Then I'd talk to the child's parents...I always assumed I'd pay the costs--a couple of times the parents involved came along on the trip (at their expense) because they wanted a family Disney trip of their own. Every other time the child's parent volunteered money (or frequent flyer miles, and/or transportation to-from our home airport)...I took whatever the family was comfortable offering, and picked up the difference. One year, when the kids were in high school, the friend in question did 10 hours/week of work for me (yard clean-up, simple home repairs, dog-walking) to make up the cost of his air fare & park tickets (at an agreed-to $8.50/hour rate). He was the one who insisted on doing that.

Even before DVC, we thought of the room as "free"--I was paying for it anyway, whether I had one, two or three kids w/me...only once did I get accommodations different than I would have gotten had the kids not been with us...that was my DS' college graduation gift/trip --

I automatically assumed I'd pay for food (and absolutely always the guest brought money of his own or provided by his parents to treat us to one or more dinners)...

So, for us, I always invited assuming I'd pay the whole cost and I never once took a child who didn't contribute significantly to that cost--via frequent flyer miles, air fare, park tix cost and/or "thank you" meals....I didn't provide spending money, but did buy treats (including some souvenirs) for all the kids ... as I felt like it. Each kid did have some spending money of his own.

The most elaborate "kids trip"--and the only one where I got "extra" accommodations (we had a one BR at BCV and a single room at the Dolphin for 7 of us) was my DS' college graduation trip, when I took 6 college students. I made it clear this was my DS' major college graduation gift, and totally my treat. All offered to contribute (I said no)...I put us all on the DP and told them they were free to "roam" with or without me, but the food was DP food...anything different was up to them (altho at least once I was part of the group decision to do a non-dining plan meal and I treated--but that was my choice/offer)...I ate every TS dinner w/them, and most lunches, too...they used snack credits, mostly, for their b'fasts...

In addition to air fare and DDP, I gave them each a 5-day park hopper and they decided (during the planning) that they'd love to go to Blizzard Beach. Fine, I said, but I wasn't paying for that. I was a-ok w/it if they each bought their own BB ticket--but w/five park days already paid for, I wasn't adding 6 extra $50 tickets! They swiftly decided they didn't want to go to BB after all. It was pretty funny. I do believe they just hadn't realized the extra cost. None of them (but one) had ever been to Disney before (oh, what a magical trip that was!)

It was one of the very best Disney trips I ever took...the kids were a pure delight...they invited me everywhere they went (frequently I didn't go; I have nowhere near as much energy as a group of six 21- and 22-year-olds!)...I have a precious precious souvenir of all of us on Dinosaur, and when the camera takes the riders' pics, they all formed heart shapes over their hearts; they bought the pic and a frame for it; autographed it w/words of love and presented it to me as a thank-you. So precious.

I always figured Disney is a super expensive trip...and one that families tend to want to do together...figured DS had a MUCH better shot at bring friend(s) along if it didn't cost them/their families any more than they could afford/were willing to spend (up to and including nothing)...it worked out great for us, and built me some really really really special memories...

Good luck w/your decisions and planning (and by the way: I agree totally about the medical release letter/form...never needed it, but always had it!)...

 

[Inkmahm]

One year, when the kids were in high school, the friend in question did 10 hours/week of work for me (yard clean-up, simple home repairs, dog-walking) to make up the cost of his air fare & park tickets (at an agreed-to $8.50/hour rate). He was the one who insisted on doing that.

I just wanted to comment on what a great kid he must be. That is a wonderful work ethic to have. His parents did a great job!

 

[Sandisw]

My DD15 is taking her friend with her this year. We decided that we would cover the room, ticket, and food. Her family was told that airfare and spending would be the only OOP for them.

Now, my other DD18 may be coming and wants to bring friends (I booked a 2 bedroom on the off chance) and told them, since there could be up to 3, that I will cover their food costs but they have to do airfare and tickets.

I did tell my DD that if it ends up being just one friend who can go, I will probably end up being able to cover the ticket as well.

If I could have covered it all, I would and I anticipate in doing that in the future if I am financially able.

 

[Inkmahm]

We've taken along kids' friends many times. When they were younger, we generally covered everything for those we invited to tag along. Once they hit college, expenses above the room reservation were the responsibility of the guests, but we usually treat the entire group to a communal dinner when we're there too.

I'm glad to read this thread because it is something that we have to decide in the near future. When we take our nieces/nephews to WDW, we pay for everything for them. This March, we were planning on a trip that would be just DH and me. Then we found out our oldest niece, a freshman in college, has spring break during the week we will be staying at Kidani. Since we have the sleeper sofa and the sleeper chair PLUS the extra bathroom, we've told her we'd provide free sleeping space for her and two of her friends. They are going to drive down and spend quite a bit of the time driving to the coast to get to the beaches.

My niece still has 3 days left on the last 10 day parkhopper we bought for her so she is covered for park days, for the most part. Her friends will have to get their own tickets and all 3 of them will have to get their tickets for Universal. It was meals that I was waffling on. I think we are going to provide breakfast in the villa and offer to pay for a few nice dinners as a group. But the rest of the meals will be on their own. Unless they happen to be with us in a park, then I know I'll end up paying for all of us.

 

[maburke]

If there were one thing I would not cover, it would be airfare. If the person had to cancel, any other costs could be recovered or used at another time, but I wouldn't want to deal with a plane ticket. Also, not to be negative, but with some "skin in the game", I think they'd be less likely to cancel for a frivolous reason (which I've seen mentioned here on the boards).

 

[SamSam]

When we have taken other kids we have them pay for air, park tickets and souveniers. We talk to the parents first and tell our child not to mention anything to the friend in case he/she can't go. We give the parents an amount and they write a check. Hasn't been a problem with the two families which we know well enough.

I would not expect another family to pay for my child to fly somewhere. We can't afford to pay for their child to come with us.

This is exactly what we always did. It always worked out well and we never had any problems.

 

[robinb]

Robin, I just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed seeing the pictures of your DD enjoying her vacations in your posts over the years! She is become quite a young lady already!

Thanks . She's 11 ... can you believe it? That photo was taken in the Top of the World Lounge at BLT last month.

 

[cbouxsein]

when we take a friend on ther trips, we pay everything if no airfare involved. For our next WDW trip, we might let DD14 take a friend. We will drive and use a 1 day ticket leftover from free dining years ago for a day at WDW and then we will pay to upgrade for WP&M. We will ask friend's parents to pay for 1 day ticket to IOA (about $90). Also, if they have never been to WDW, many have no idea how $$$ WDW is---as many local amusement parks have annual passes for well under $100.
Friends work really well for beach trips, like DVC-HHI, where there is less expense, IMHO.

I agree that DVC-HHI is the perfect place to let kids take friends! We did that in 2009, and let our girls each take a friend. We did not ask the others to provide anything but spending money. Since the 2 bedroom has a full kitchen, we bought groceries and made breakfast and lunch everyday, and even a couple of dinners. We ate supper out and always treated the friends too. However, going to WDW, and having the expenses of airfare and park tickets would be too much for us. I think it is very fair to ask the parents of the guest child to pay for that, provided they are financially able to do so. I know I would be willing to do so for my kids.

Cathy

 

[Sunshine22]

Each of our teen daughters is taking a friend this Spring. I spoke with and sent emails to their parents indicating the expected costs for thier share of airfare, tickets, and food for our 9 day trip. I probably would have paid for all food and possibly park tickets if we hadn't had the medical issues this year. I believe that the key is to be clear upfront with parents about what expenses you are expecting them to cover.

 

[momof2disprincesses]

A few summers ago, my dd was going to be spending the summer in Africa on a mission trip, so before she left, we did a week in WDW with her boyfriend and our other dd & her friend. We had purchased 2 tickets from Undercover Tourist that we never activated or used, so we let them use those and asked them to pay the $50 to turn them into hoppers and we all had AP's.

We drove (from WI), so we did not have any additional cost to get there.

We provided 1 meal in the villa daily (usually breakfast) and loads of snacks (4 teens...need I say more) and paid for one meal out daily. We said if they wanted food beyond that, they had to pay for it themselves and we did actually wind up buying some snacks for everyone when we were all together, but when they went off on their own, they bought their own snacks.

We really only asked them to bring spending money. My dd's girlfriend brought several hundred dollars and spent it all. My dd's boyfriend literally only brought the $50 for upgrading the ticket and like $20 beyond that and I don't think he even broke that $20 the entire trip.

We had a 2 bedroom condo at Kidani, so we insisted that the 3 girls slept in the 2nd bedroom and shared that bathroom. Boyfriend slept in the living room part (he actually preferred the single pull-out to the sofa pull-out) and he had his own bathroom. DH and I obviously shared the master. It all worked out very well as I am a VERY overprotective Mom about boyfriends sleeping so nearby. We set good ground rules about interaction and they were really good.

We loved having them! We are now considering having DD bring a friend on a Disney cruise, which is a whole other set of issues!

 

[Dee77]

Just out of curiosity, how old were your children when they first brought a friend along on one of your Disney vacations?