Taking kids and MIL but not spouse

[squirk]

Both my husband and I have taken solo trips with the kids, and while it started out of a necessity (someone couldn’t get off work/ another time needing to care for a sick relative), it has become a really treasured opportunity that we continue occasionally. There’s just a different dynamic that happens on a trip when it’s just you and the kids. We’ve found ourselves relating very differently to them, treating them older, learning new things about them, and having some real bonding experiences. We’re a normal, happy family, but the solo trips have seemed completely stress free (even when there were little hiccups) and it’s been great to have a few separate fun memories with each kid.

Assuming MIL has her own room, I’d just make sure that she’s okay doing her own thing for stretches of time, and you can plan individual activities with one of the kids at a time, or take time to just relax on your own. if your wife is already on board with the idea, I say embrace it.

Awesome. This is the kind of thing I was hoping to hear. Thank you for sharing!

And yes - MIL most definitely has her own stateroom.

 

[dad of 3 addicted to DCL]

Embrace your Dad-ness, that's what I do if DW is unavailable for an event/short vacation. By the end the kids are either ready to chuck me over the side, or sleeping on my bed with me.

BTW, I had to chuckle when I saw the title of this thread. My first reaction was, "Enjoy the cold couch, my friend."

 

[DaisyDogMI]

I say ... go for it... I haven't gone on a Disney Cruise, but my Mom was once pulled away on our family trip to WDW to visit a friend whose son had recently passed.

WDW with Dad was different than going with both the parents. To this day, I hae a soft spot in my heart for Tony's on Main Street because that is where we had our Daddy-Daughter lunch (as most people know, it has an uneven reputation). Dad also let us park hop (Mom isn't a hopper) so that I could go on extra thrill rides at Hollywood Studios. I think Mom was a little sad about missing the day, but I have fond memories of my one-on-one time with Dad. On a practical note, I do lots of one-on-one things with Mom, but not as many with my Dad. It was nice to add to the "experience-bank".

 

[spiders]

You both have your reasons. It's a personal decision and ultimately the trip will be as great as you allow it to be. Go for it.

I went to WDW once by myself. It wasn't as fun as with the family but it was just for two days and it was still fun. My wife did give me a lot of grief over it, though. I'm an air traffic controller and I was jumpseating (flying in the cockpit) to get to Orlando and then coming back. Right before I was leaving for the airport, I was putting my ID on a different lanyard. I normally wear a Disney lanyard. My wife asked me what I was doing. I told her, "This one is more professional..." and she just laughed hysterically and said, "Oh, yeah...that must be it. It couldn't be at all because you don't want to have to tell the pilots that you're going on a solo trip to Disney World while wearing a Disney lanyard! No, that can't be it at all."

 

[vegs1]

I think you are amazing!!! I have read a lot of posts on these boards saying how much they don’t want in laws to join them (almost always the mother in law). Embracing your relationship with her and travelling together is being a family. I hope your wife would do the same if it was your mother.

Husbands and wives don’t always need to travel together and I would never tell my husband to go and then be upset about it. I travelled a lot for work and my husband never minded me going without him.

Do you both play cards? Bingo? Maybe you could look at the on line Navigators and find some mutually fun activity.

Also just want to say what a great example you are to your kids and what a wonderful experience.

Kudos to your wife for honouring her friendship so well, too!

 

[mmouse37]

Not a pending divorce or separation situation or anything like that.

We booked a NOLA cruise on opening day long ago for my wife, three kids, my MIL and myself. All was well until about three months ago when my wife realized that she had been invited to a good friend's wedding that conflicted with our sail dates. She had received the invite a ways back but never "connected the dots" that the two dates overlapped.

Rebooking the cruise was not an option for a multitude of reasons. And my wife's friend has some serious health issues where this wedding was particularly special and important. Suffice it to say that there will be other cruises; there will not be another wedding.

She clearly did not want to miss the wedding, so we agreed that she would go to that and not go on the cruise. And I am totally on-board with this decision, given the circumstances.

But now it's just me, my kids and my MIL (with whom I get along famously) on the cruise. It'll be fine, but it just seems really, really weird (and a little sad) to be taking a family vacation without my wife.

Anyone else ever found themselves in a somewhat similar situation? If so, how did the cruise go, in retrospect?

We just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. Over the years I have cruised several times with my girlfriends and not my husband. He was fine with it. He knows me and knows my die hard DCL friends and he does not enjoy cruises longer than 7 days. It is a totally different experience. Not better or worse just different. As long as you get along with your MIL I will bet you will still enjoy it. There were times I would say to myself that I wished my husband was there or he would of like that but I still had a really good time. It was weirder sailing without our kids but we did that too.....hubby and I celebrated many anniversaries onboard without the kids.

Last week on the Magic I cruised with my husband, our son, our DIL, 3 of our 4 grandkids and a bunch of friends....for a total of 17 people in 8 cabins. Had a ball!! Wish the whole family (two daughters, two SIL's and another grandchild) could have made it but work commitments prevented it.

MJ

 

[CM Dad]

Not quite the same as you. I had booked my wife and I on the first cruise doing the runDisney Castaway Cay Challenge race. I was doing the Dopey Challenge in WDW the weekend before. We had also booked another DCL cruise that month for her 60th birthday and were taking all the kids and grandkids on that one. She decided that she couldn't take that much time away from work in one month, so I ended up doing the WDW race and Dream cruise solo.

 

[FigmentSpark]

No cruises without DH, but I have vacationed without him several times, and him without me. We like different things and we don't think it's fair to make the other person do something just to be "with" us. But we also vacation together, so it does work out. At first it was odd, but it was also nice to meet up again at the airport.

Anyway, yes, you will miss your DW. You can talk to your MIL and your kids about what mom would like and make sure to send her lots of photos of what's going on... unless she wouldn't want that. Maybe have her make a special magnet for INSIDE the room so you have something special to look at and think of her before bed. Maybe she has a favorite character and you could bring a small stuffie of it to represent mom for the kids. Also, you could write a diary of sorts just for her, even make it something romantic that you can share with her with you get back. You might even have the kids record a message for mom each night or after each fun thing.

Finally, don't forget to book the placeholder and include her name on it... I know. You won't.

 

[greensombrero]

As many others have said this can be a great time to create different and special memories with your kids. One of my favorite Dad memories was a Disneyland trip where I ended up alone with my two boys for the better part of the day unexpectedly while my wife was off with my daughters. It was only supposed to be a couple hours but it ended up being a lot longer. Not the same thing as your scenario I realize, but given how much I love that memory wanted to share the perspective. I have also travelled without my wife usually for work related reasons and it does feel weird to be sightseeing etc on my own but it is also nice to have time when you can focus entirely on yourself especially if your kids will be off on their own some of the time. Totally natural to feel weird/unsure about it I think but if you and your wife both think it is for the best, go for it and enjoy the unique memories especially with your kids!

 

[aggiedog]

I love my husband. We've been married 27 years and have 4 kids. We love to travel together. I've recently discovered I also like traveling without him. It's a bit liberating to be able to do whatever I want, even it it's just leave the light on late so I can stay up and read. We also did our first "family" vacation this summer with my parents, but without dh or my oldest daughter (due to scheduling conflicts.) I did miss them, but the rest of us had a great time.

It will be weird. It will also be good. You'll make a different set of memories, and you can share with your dw in as many ways as you choose - IG, Snap, FB, video, Flat Stanley, etc.

 

[Jenrausch84]

I took my mother in law on a trip this past summer with my kids. It wasn't a cruise, but we did the train and visited a good friend. It is definitely different circumstances but given things that I know now I'm glad we did it. We have the memories with the kids. I definitely missed my husband, but we did a lot of things that we were fun with the kids as well as things on our own. She was able to relax a lot, which is something she probably needed, and we got to experience a lot of new adventures. It may not be ideal but I'm confident you will all have a wonderful time. I always feel that we can grow fonder and less dependent of our significant others when we're away. Something you could do is schedule one on one time with each of the kids, maybe an excursion with just one of them, grandma with the other and switch out. It might sound weird, but I think sometimes there's a lot to benefit when it's just one parent and one kid, or grandmother.

 

[TeeDisney1025]

My husband doesn't enjoy Disney so he never goes on our trips there. We actually are going on a Disney cruise out of Nola on Feb 21. It will be me, my mom, my sister, and my son -- husband is not going. This is the norm for Disney trips for us. Hubby and my son and I take other trips each year that he will enjoy more.

 

[we"reofftoneverland]

Couldn’t do it myself. I would just rebook.

 

[tee11]

I just want to encourage you to go ahead and do what you, as a family think is right, and not worry one bit whether it's "weird", "unusual" or whatever. It's not. As long as nobody has any ill feelings about it, it will be all good. Military families do this sometimes, when one parent is deployed...

If it was me personally, I'd also take the length/type of the cruise into consideration... the shorter, the less I'd worry about it... the longer and more unique... the more I'd think about rebooking....
If you are thinking that both of you would be really, really sad though, you could perhaps revisit the rebooking question... it should be an option in most circumstances.

 

[squirk]

My husband doesn't enjoy Disney so he never goes on our trips there. We actually are going on a Disney cruise out of Nola on Feb 21. It will be me, my mom, my sister, and my son -- husband is not going. This is the norm for Disney trips for us. Hubby and my son and I take other trips each year that he will enjoy more.

That’s our cruise, too. I admit I feel slightly better knowing that the NOLA sailings will be back in 2021 and weren’t a “one and done” situation.

 

[Calantha]

I take my son and my mom on one trip or so per year without my husband. Next September, son and I are doing the Fantasy with my dad and his girlfriend. My husband very much enjoys his own time and only likes to travel occasionally (we're going to South Africa for two weeks in the Spring).

 

[MAmama78]

I wonder if your wife is also traveling to this wedding or doing something special as part of it? I am picturing a lovely dinner soon after you are all back together and you get to share the fun memories, pictures, etc. from the time you were apart?

 

[squirk]

I wonder if your wife is also traveling to this wedding or doing something special as part of it? I am picturing a lovely dinner soon after you are all back together and you get to share the fun memories, pictures, etc. from the time you were apart?

She is, actually. She's flying to New York. So she will have a 4-day trip with a bunch of her friends (who live all over the country and who the kids and I really don't know at all). So it'll be good for her to see them without worrying about the rest of the family being bored or the "odd men out".

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Don't let thoughts of what you imagine other people might think, hold you back from enjoying your vacation.

People never spend very much time thinking about us as they are too busy thinking about themselves!

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

I have only cruised once with a friend because her mom had to back out, so it was nearly free for me. We were two, single moms without our kids and we missed them so much by day three that the last four days were kind of sad. That said, I am not very experienced with cruising, but is it possible to find a single dad cruising with kids that you might hang out with? Or a dad with only girls who is looking for something to do while all his girls are doing girly things? It's just a thought. I know a lot of people talk about striking up friendships on cruises, so maybe that could happen for you.

Once, when my dad was warming a bench while the rest of the family shopped the boardwalk in Ocean City, New Jersey, he struck up a conversation with a man. We came back, met him and his wife and had an invitation to go to their house for dinner and swim in their pool! We did and had a great time! This was in 1975, I think.