Taking children shopping

[skiwee1]

No, I'll keep lettting them scream, taking joy in that fact that there are people who can't stand it.

Actaully my kids were perfect angels, but I realize that people like you have kids that may not be and I just thank God for having been blessed and won't pass judgment on you should you not be able to flee the store in a timely manner.

My kids were not angels but honestly they never had a temper tantrum in the store. It would have been their last, that's for sure. I do not mind it for a minute or two but after that it is just plain rude to let your child disturb others. I sympathize with the mom up to a point. If she continues to let the kid disturb everyone then I no longer feel for her. If we are in same aisle I might say something to the kid to get them offtrack of their little tantrum but that is it. I would never say anything to the mother about leaving the store. I figure she doesn't care about others anyway then nothing I say is going to change it.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

They weren't crazy about the bottle, but, golly, they loved that Nuk. Me too! With 3 children under the age of two, it made our evenings so much calmer.

Just wanted to clarify--you didn't suck on the Nuk with your kids in the evening, too, did you?

 

[hentob]

Your posts do nothing but further my study...please continue!!

Um, ok, you are a psych major. We get it. Wow. Hooray!

You can throw your passive aggressive "Sweeties" around as much as you want, you can try to make us believe that you can psycho-analyze all you want, but please don't LIE and say you do it with respect. You are still an undergrad, I totally understand your over-enthusiasm. I was like that when I was 18 and in college.

But "Sweetie", you haven't even got into the meat of psychology yet, so calm down. You just come off as ignorant

 

[hentob]

Just wanted to clarify--you didn't suck on the Nuk with your kids in the evening, too, did you?

Sometimes I wished I could

 

[MrsKreamer]

Well first off I am a SAHM. I go to stores durring the day when they are less crowded and Ds isn't cranky or hungry. I have been taking him out in stores since he was about 4 weeks old. Exposing children to germs is actually a good thing. It builds up their immune system. Anywho, it got him used to the car and the noises of a store. Now he is 16 mos and loves to go "bye-bye". He rides in the shopping buggy and loves to look at people and the colorful shelves. I do bring snacks with me and at least one toy to distract him if he does start to fuss. Usually he will only whine a little when he needs to be changed, so that one is easy to take care of!

I do still cringe when I see unruley children, but only if the parents aren't making any effort to calm them down. We have a lot of single moms around here, so I try to ignore it. They have had to work all day, now they have to do...well everything else....and deal with a fussy child.

My MIL has been teaching me her old tricks. She said when one of the boys started acting out(usually dh, being egged on by BIL) she would tell them if they acted like that she would leave them at the store. Well one day Dh decided to test this theory. He threw himself down and she stepped right over him and told BIL to come on, Kurt will be staying here now. She said it only took 3 seconds for him to stand up and calm down, and apologize!

Our problem now is this post-Katrina world that I live in. We have 1 store and 1 walmart where there used to be 3 or more. They only open 7-7. Plus, we will have another baby soon. We won't have the luxery to leave and come back.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sometimes I wished I could

Mine would have to be a bottle filled with something strong, but I think that's a different thread...

 

[dis ms.]

No worries, I'm QUITE sure if your family needed you, you would find another reason to post on the DIS with your 7k posts.

Actually...since kejoda's been posting since Nov. 2001, she averages about 154 posts a month. You, after only posting for a month, already have 174 posts. Now, I'm no math major (or psych major, for that matter ), but it seems to me that you spend more time posting than she does. Soooo, the pot you're stirring is just as black as the kettle, KWIM?

Jerry, you certainly don't seem to be making many friends here, but I don't think you want to, either. To each her own, I guess.

 

[dcgrumpy]

No worries, I'm QUITE sure if your family needed you, you would find another reason to post on the DIS with your 7k posts.

You know you average more posts per day than she does

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I do want to make it clear that I have no problem with people leaving the stores with their upset children.

In general, it doesn't have to be a climate of my way vs your way. I try to realize that there are lots of right ways to accomplish a goal. We can debate all kinds of things (cloth vs disposable diapers, bottle vs breast, SAHM vs moms who work outside the home, pacifiers vs no pacifiers...and the list goes on), but unless we're talking abuse or neglect, most of our kids are going to grow up to be good, law abiding citizens in spite (or because of) all that we've done with and for them.

Attacking others for their decisions seems silly. I don't have a problem with discussing these issues, but when it turns to attacks like it did at some point after I went to bed last night, it's not a good dialog between mature posters.

 

[goofygirl]

I dont have children because I'm 21 but 2x in the last week while I have been shopping (both times in "discount" stores- Daffy's and Century 21) I have encountered crabby kids (one was whiney and the other was screaming/shreiking) and parents who continue to shop!

What is up with that???

One mother (the one with the whiney child) actually passed me and told me NOT to have children

Why do some mothers/parents feel the need to stroll through a large store with children if they know they are going to make them miserable??

Oh boy, get ready to be flamed and get the "you don't have kids, so you don't understand" excuses and the "we all have bad days, don't you?" or "Well, YOU were a kid once too!" excuses.


I have no tolerance for that kind of behavior, there's no excuse. I will rarely say anything but I will turn around and give the parent a certain look, and then think to myself, "Glad that's not me!"

 

[chobie]

My kids were not angels but honestly they never had a temper tantrum in the store. It would have been their last, that's for sure. I do not mind it for a minute or two but after that it is just plain rude to let your child disturb others. I sympathize with the mom up to a point. If she continues to let the kid disturb everyone then I no longer feel for her. If we are in same aisle I might say something to the kid to get them offtrack of their little tantrum but that is it. I would never say anything to the mother about leaving the store. I figure she doesn't care about others anyway then nothing I say is going to change it.

There is where we differ. I don't think cyring babies/toddlers are rude in general. I think they are a part of life, and a part of belonging in a society. People do all sorts of things that disturb me, some they can help and others they cannot. But you know what---we share this planet with a a few billion people.

As everyone agrees, there are times and place where crying kids would be rude, but MOST people think that a grocery store is one of those places that you will be "subjected" to annoying children and don't freak out about it.

 

[chobie]

Oh boy, get ready to be flamed and get the "you don't have kids, so you don't understand" excuses and the "we all have bad days, don't you?" or "Well, YOU were a kid once too!" excuses.


I have no tolerance for that kind of behavior, there's no excuse. I will rarely say anything but I will turn around and give the parent a certain look, and then think to myself, "Glad that's not me!"

And I'm sure your giving parents "certain looks" makes the world a much better place.

 

[skiwee1]

There is where we differ. I don't think cyring babies/toddlers are rude in general. I think they are a part of life, and a part of belonging in a society. People do all sorts of things that disturb me, some they can help and others they cannot. But you know what---we share this planed with a a few billion people.

As everyone agrees, there are times and place where crying kids would be rude, but MOST people think that a grocery store is one of those places that you will be "subjected" to annoying children and don't freak out about it.

Well I haven't read where MOST people don't mind screaming kids in a grocery store. I also have never read where anyone would freak out about screaming kids. What I will do though is think really nasty thoughts about the so called parent who thinks nothing of letting their child disturb others.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Skiwee, I promise that if I'm your friend and you take me on an all expense paid trip that I won't have a tantrum or scream about anything so that I'll have to be removed.

 

[chobie]

Well I haven't read where MOST people don't mind screaming kids in a grocery store. I also have never read where anyone would freak out about screaming kids. What I will do though is think really nasty thoughts about the so called parent who thinks nothing of letting their child disturb others.

I didn't say they did not mind it. They expect it and don't think horrible thoughts about the parents who are dealing with it.

What I think is really nasty is intolerant, hypercritical, "I'm a better parent then thou types or will be a better parent than thou when I have kids"" -- not that there are any of them here.

No one here, BTW, has said they they like having their kids be loud in the store and that is why they get their shopping done as fast as they can.

And people who go around glaring at people in grocery stores because it ruins their Target expereince to come across an upset chld are freaking out IMO. Get over yourself.

 

[azgal81]

Screaming kids don't really bug me that much unless they are really bad. Normally I can tone them out. I understand that some people need to take their kids shopping because what else are they going to do with them. They can't leave them at home or have someone else watch them everytime they go out. I think the kids that bug me more are the ones who run up and down the store into you and everyone else. In those cases I tell the parents that their kids are being annoying and might hurt themselves or others. 9 times out of 10 that will have them tell their kids to settle down and they will stop running. If that doesn't work I tell them to give supernanny a call maybe she can help which always works because then they are just embarassed.

 

[RobinMarie]

I believe children learn from experiences. The way I have approached public places is to clearly outline expectations prior to entering a store. When my daughter was a baby, I did the best I could to provide her with cues to expected behavior and lavished her with attention when she behaved appropriately. She did not get my attention when she did not.

There have been very few times when my daughter was acting out in public. I hated those times. I was humilitated. I remember an older woman approaching me and starting a conversation, all the while my daughter was screaming and crying. She spoke with me until my daughter stopped crying and then turned her attention to her and engaged her. That woman was one smart cookie, and compassionate as well.

I try and pay it forward these days. Whenever I see a parent taking the 'is that the best you can do' attitude with a child involved in a tantrum, I try and take the time to have a conversation with the parent. I like to think I'm helping. By the time the child is in a tantrum, it's too late. Two choices: remove them and reinforce that a tantrum behavior is an effective way to leave an undesirable situation, or allow the tantrum to finish without desired effects.

Come on folks, it take a village ya know! Have some compassion for others, you have no idea what battles they are fighting. There are tons of ways for people to be disturbed and children are a pretty small portion of it.

 

[Mari annie]

Those who are adults and have a rational mind, (most of us)
would do the right thing for our kids.

Others who don't have a mind to use, couldn't use theirs right?!

 

[hentob]

You know you average more posts per day than she does

Silly Goose! She is a PSYCH major not a MATH major Aren't you listening???

 

[chobie]

Those who are adults and have a rational mind, (most of us)
would do the right thing for our kids.

Others who don't have a mind to use, couldn't use theirs right?!

Praytell -- what is " doing the right thing for our kids" in your opinion?