Taken the dummy away from our kids.....

[T16GEM]

because DD is 5 next month and DS is 4 in January, we decided that it was time to take it off them we did it last Saturday night and even though they have accepted that they aren't having it, and haven't asked for it at all they are not going to bed when they are put up to their rooms and are extremely restless, they obviously used the dummy as their comfort but how do we get over this? I am honestly going insane with it, I spend all day with them doing what they want and now I'm not even getting any respite when they go to bed!

DH has been up and out the house for the last 3 days at 4am and he need to go to bed early and it's really causing problems, I am this close to just giving in to them and giving the dummies back.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[lpereira]

I don't know what a dummy is? A stuffed animal or something of the like? Nevermind I just googled it
A pacifier. Meh My daughter still uses hers for naptime and nighttime. She's 4. Her dentist says it isn't a problem and by the time she's ready for adult teeth she will be over it. I have on rare occasions taken her pacifier to places like the DMV where you have to sit for a long time. I get dirty looks and even some people who feel like it's okay to say something. But she is quiet and patient. I'll take quiet pacifier toddler over screaming nonpacifier toddler any day.
Is there a reason why you decided it was time to take it away? I'm kind on the fence now because you've already done it. If you give it back will there be consistency problems? I'm a big fan of pick a path with children and stick to it.
Maybe instead of giving it back you can get them a stuffed animal or something to sleep with. Like make a special trip to the store and make a big deal out of how good they are and tell them you are getting sleep buddies. See if that works.

 

[buzz for boys]

Hi gem,
I had to do the same with Keira when we she was 3 because she kept biting them and i was scared to death she would choke on a bit of dummy in her sleep

It only took a couple of nights for her to accept that I wasnt giving it to her and she then did the same as your 2 for around a month where she would struggle to go from one phase of sleep to another without her dummy!! I know its hard but you have to ride the storm now you have started it !! I made the mistake of giving Cam his dummy back after id told him I was taking it away and I just made life harder for myself because the 2nd time I tried to take it away he was more resistant as he knew Mom would give it back when the going got tough

Keira is very attached to her cuddly toy dog and I know your ds has a dolphin? maybe just make a big thing with him that dolphy is going to look after him !!
A star chart may work for them both as well just to tide you over the most difficult bit now - a star if they get all thru the night without crying for you then after they have 10 stars they get a small treat ???

Stay strong hunny !! YOU CAN DO THIS !!!

 

[catherine]

When our eldest daughter was around 18 months I talked to her about sending her dummies to Father Christmas for the babies and how FC would leave her an extra special present because she'd sent her dummies. So we packaged them up and we wrote a letter and sent them of to Father Christmas. For a couple of nights afterwards she had a bit of difficulty settling down, but she knew that the dummies had gone for the babies. It was a bit more difficult with our younger DD because she didn't want to part with hers, but just before she was 3 she decided that she was a big girl and didn't need a dummy!

 

[T16GEM]

Is there a reason why you decided it was time to take it away? I'm kind on the fence now because you've already done it. .

Mainly because none of our friends kids have them anymore and they are getting too old to have a rubber teat in their mouths, I wanted them to speak clearly and not rely on it, they only had them for bedtime 9 times out of 10. Our kid's dentist had also mentioned it to me a couple of times.

Hi gem,
I had to do the same with Keira when we she was 3 because she kept biting them and i was scared to death she would choke on a bit of dummy in her sleep

It only took a couple of nights for her to accept that I wasnt giving it to her and she then did the same as your 2 for around a month where she would struggle to go from one phase of sleep to another without her dummy!! I know its hard but you have to ride the storm now you have started it !! I made the mistake of giving Cam his dummy back after id told him I was taking it away and I just made life harder for myself because the 2nd time I tried to take it away he was more resistant as he knew Mom would give it back when the going got tough

Keira is very attached to her cuddly toy dog and I know your ds has a dolphin? maybe just make a big thing with him that dolphy is going to look after him !!
A star chart may work for them both as well just to tide you over the most difficult bit now - a star if they get all thru the night without crying for you then after they have 10 stars they get a small treat ???

Stay strong hunny !! YOU CAN DO THIS !!!

Thanks hun, your words have helped, honestly I'm like a jibbering wreck tonight, I could just cry, I hate the way that this makes me feel, I have been trying to ignore them and stay calm, but I can't listen to them crying without getting upset myself. Harley has got his Dolphy (he went missing and now he's back ) and his Manny (manatee) but it's as though they went into a trance like state with the sucking of the dummy. I honestly feel like I have done the wrong thing but how else do you get rid of them???

When our eldest daughter was around 18 months I talked to her about sending her dummies to Father Christmas for the babies and how FC would leave her an extra special present because she'd sent her dummies. So we packaged them up and we wrote a letter and sent them of to Father Christmas. For a couple of nights afterwards she had a bit of difficulty settling down, but she knew that the dummies had gone for the babies. It was a bit more difficult with our younger DD because she didn't want to part with hers, but just before she was 3 she decided that she was a big girl and didn't need a dummy!

The dummy fairy came for ours, they have all gone (into a box hidden behind our microwave!) so they know that they aren't coming back. They haven't even asked for them, but I think in the back of their mind their comfort is still there.

I think they have finally gone off now, DH has gone to bed though so that always helps. I am hoping I will feel better after a good nights sleep.

 

[poppie123]

I had an absolute nightmare with my DD and her dummy. She was 3 and a half before i finally got her off of it.

I tried everything and in the end the only thing that worked (and i may seem mean) is i cut the top off of it and left it where she could find it.
She kept picking it up and looking at it, putting it in her mouth and then putting it back down again.

Obvioulsy it was no longer the same and she seemed to accept that it was broken and that was it. She took it to bed that night (but didn't try to use it) and in the morning she herself went and threw it in the bin.

I wish i had of done that months before.

 

[buzz for boys]

Gem honestly do yourself you a huge favour and bin them !!! You cant get them to give then !!
Really you have done the right thing its just habit now and its never going to be easy to take them away !! I had to take Dans away because of speech issues and it felt wrong to do so know where you are coming from!! I just kept asking myself when was I going to take them away if it wasnt now ?? I mean can u imagine a 8 yr old reliant on a dumy for bed ??
I really do think a star chart will work because both of your little ones will understand the concept !

BIN THE DUMMIES !!

 

[aaronandterri]

We did the whole swapping for presents for father christmas thing with my1st and he was 2 and a bit and at the end of the day he piles his presents up and wanted to swap back...bless...lol
He was a nightmare for a bit but did settle down after a few weeks.

DD was A bit older was 3 and i was pregnant with ds2 so wanted hers gone incase he had one (which he didnt end up taking one) and a friend had just had a baby so we told her she was a big girl and the baby needed the dummy and gave it to my friend, and that was that she was fine, we did however keep finding all the lost dummied in the house in her bed randomly for a few weeks, she must of had a stash!

ds3 and 4 and Isabelle didnt take dummies so no problem there, except her thumb which as you can see is surgically attached to her gob!!, at least you can take a dummy away god knows what ill do about that one!

I think its just a stay strong and peservere ...it will get better honest ! x

Theres this lady @ our school who picks her nearly 6 year old up in a buggy (yes true!) and gives him a dummy as soon as he comes out..even seen here with a sippy cup for him .......honestly!!

 

[mandymouse]

Aww Gems, I wish I had some good advice for you. My eldest DD gave hers up herself at 18 months, and youngest (who was known to put two dummies in her mouth at a time ) gave hers up when she was 4, but we were on holiday so she was pre-occupied with being away so it didn't seem to bother her

Stay strong hun, you've done the right thing. I agree with Louise, a star chart might be a good way to take their minds of it, especially if a little treat or toy is on offer after 10 or 20 stars

 

[Muscateer]

I think it really does end up being a habit more than anything.

I was a bad mum I told my DD at 2 that through the night a mouse came and chewed here dummy so she herself put it it the bin. I had to check her room for about two weeks that THE mouse wasn't there and made a good show of looking for one to. She just forgot in the end

 

[Lizzybear]

One of the little girls (23 month old) in my room at work is going to bring in all her dummies this week to give to the other lady I work with (her keyworker) She doesn't have one for naptime at nursery and she's in full-time so it's just the evenings and weekends at home really... She'll be moving to the one of the 2 year olds rooms very soon and none of the children in them have dummies so I guess the peer pressure has helped a bit! We've talked to her about how "Lynsey is going to give them to the little ones in the baby room" and she seems receptive to the idea so we'll see how it goes The 'giving them to younger children' concept is one i've heard used quite a few times, good luck!!

 

[princess jackson]

Hi, stay strong. I have it come however not with a dummy, DS sucks his thumb, and unfortunately I'm not able to post it off to the dummy fairy or father Christmas

 

[T16GEM]

Thanks everyone, I'm hoping that we do better tonight as we have had a chat today about bedtimes going back to how they were, without the dummies! I have said that they can have a pressie when they get 30 good bedtime stars, I know 30 seems excessive but DD is a clever little soul and if I say 10 she will count them up and then be back to square one on day 11! we are on day 9 tonight although I don't think that they actually count yet!!

 

[wils]

Molly donated her dummies to the piglets at Ash End Farm (Tamworth way) they made a huge fuss of her and she could see that the baby piggies needed them more than her!

I know we were lucky as she only fretted the first night but I know how horrible it is to see them upset. Keep Strong x

 

[T16GEM]

Well the star charts are made and they have got 37 stars to collect before they get their present. So far so good, DD has settled straight down and DS has messed about out of his bed but he's not being noisy or crying.

I feel like a weight has been lifted!
I just hope that it's not just a one night thing!!!

 

[ely3857]

Good luck Gem.

Lucikly Alba has never bothered with a dummy and any old comforter will do, soft toy, muslin, sock, hat, anything but it does mean I don't have to worry about parting her from it.

Eventually they'll forget and it will be twice as hard at the moment as you're doing them both at the same time!

 

[disneyangel]

Our DD didn't give her dummy away until her 4th birthday . We tied them to the helium balloons she had for her party and let them go to the angels to give to new babies.

We bought her a lumpy comforter from the Disney store to take to bed in it's place. She already had a cuski so this gave her something for each hand which somehow (can't explain why) seemed to help

It was tough for a week and hard going but we got there and I'm sure you will too

Sending you lots of pixie dust for the next few days

 

[buzz for boys]

How did it go tonight Gem ???
I saw your star charts on facebook they look fab !! Hope you got another quiet night

 

[T16GEM]

How did it go tonight Gem ???
I saw your star charts on facebook they look fab !! Hope you got another quiet night

They have got 2 stars each so far and another tonight, they are doing well! The visual aid of the charts has really helped! They seem to all of a sudden get that they have to chill out at bedtime and do what we say!

I feel much better in myself too, I was really getting myself so worked up about it, mainly because I didn know how to handle it, plus work and home has been so busy this last few weeks I've not really had time to breath - in hindsight it wasn't really the best time to get rid of the dummies!

Thank you all for your words of encouragement it has really helped