Table Manners....

[TomorrowlandFamily]

My kids know not to butter the whole roll

 

[topolino]

I am disgusted my any kind of eating noise. Smacking food, slurping a drink and sometimes even hearing someone crunch really loud on something starts grating on my nerves. I can't be in the same room with someone eating cereal. It just makes me sick for some reason. And if I were to actually see someone tip their cereal bowl up to drink the Milk after eating the cereal I might pass out and vomit at the same time.

I don't care if someone puts their elbows on the table or puts their napkin on the table.

I also think it is very rude to stare at someone when they are eating. I go out to eat with my family and sometimes I will catch my kids just staring at me or each other...I hate that. Look at your food, look at other ppl in the restaurant or house, look any place but at me and my mouth while I am chewing.

And I don't like it if someone makes comments or makes fun of how someone else eats. That is usually my kids who do that. I get very p'd off if they do that.

In a thread full of absolutely outlandish posts, this one has to be the strangest of all. Maybe it's me, but I find the bolded to be absolutely bizarre. Look at other people in the restaurant instead of those with whom you are dining? Honestly? I almost find it hard to believe that this is for real.

Just when you think you've heard it all...

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Chewing with an open mouth or talking while chewing

 

[charming23]

In our family the rules at the dinner table were simple

-No chewing with your mouth open
-No talking with your mouth full
-No hats at the table
-No cellphones or any other electionics at the table
-Ask for things to be passed, no reaching
-Napkins on your lap
-Use your utensils correctly
-wait until everyone has been served before asking for seconds
-ask to be excused when you are finished

 

[DeaverTex]

I always fold my thin crust pizza into a crane. For deep dish or abundantly topped pizza, I prefer to fold it into a bunny rabbit. And so should everyone else.

 

[Planogirl]

I always fold my thin crust pizza into a crane. For deep dish or abundantly topped pizza, I prefer to fold it into a bunny rabbit. And so should everyone else.

Origami pizza?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Once again, you don't rip it all into small piece first! First take a pat of butter from the butter dish and place it on the your bread plate, you tear a SINGLE bite leaving the rest of the bread/roll whole, smear the single bite with a dab of butter, consume the bite by placing the bite inside your mouth. Tear another small bite, smear with a dab of butter, place the bite in the mouth. Gnawing on a whole smeared slice of bread is so crass. Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking. Lip licking is poor table manners. Yes a sandwich is similar, but then again a sandwich is a casual meal and would never be served at a formal dinner.

I have never in my life seen anyone eat bread in that manner. Must be a "society" thing

Oh, and I think the topic was more on general table manners, not now to act at a formal dinner - whatever that's supposed to be

 

[kirstenb1]

I always fold my thin crust pizza into a crane. For deep dish or abundantly topped pizza, I prefer to fold it into a bunny rabbit. And so should everyone else.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I always fold my thin crust pizza into a crane. For deep dish or abundantly topped pizza, I prefer to fold it into a bunny rabbit. And so should everyone else.

 

[cornflake]

I have never in my life seen anyone eat bread in that manner. Must be a "society" thing

Oh, and I think the topic was more on general table manners, not now to act at a formal dinner - whatever that's supposed to be

It was table manners - that's basic table manners for eating in a restaurant.

Same as using a fork and knife on your pizza. Someone upthread said they'd never, ever, eaten pizza with a knife and fork - never eaten pizza in a nice restaurant?

Yes, there are manners for home and manners for a restaurant and manners for a hole-in-the-wall, by-the-slice pizza place vs. a nice Italian restaurant with tablecloths and etc. One place you pick up a slice with your hands and eat it, one you do not.

If it's just family, you might chuck the ice cream carton and bowls onto the table for people to serve themselves. If it's a nice dinner party, you serve the ice cream in the kitchen and bring the filled bowls out on a tray.

The point is to know the difference and what to do in the different situations - it's not complex, nor is it acting superior, if you can use proper manners at a state dinner and not just think 'well, if the President notices I don't have basic manners, it's his problem.' I think that sortof, as someone else tagged it, reverse classism, is decidedly odd.

I get that 'omg it's gross when people do.... X' and someone does X and never was taught that X was improper etiquette, can get someone's back up. It's kind of the nature of this type of thread that someone is going to get offended. The digging in heels and insisting that it's somehow *better* and less pretentious (?) to be ignorant of basic rules of etiqette however, loses me.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

It was table manners - that's basic table manners for eating in a restaurant.

If it was universally known as "basic etiquette", I would think someone such as myself would have seen it done at least once in the 44 years I've roamed this Earth. I think this "etiquette", like many traditions is very regional or restricted to certain settings. Chewing with your mouth closed is something everyone knows (even those who don't adhere to the policy). Tearing off individual bites of bread and buttering them individually? Not so much.

And as one who has a mustache, I'm quite concious about getting food on my face. For rolls, I'll typically split them in half & butter each half. For a 1/2" thick slice of bread? Butter the whole thing. As previously mentioned, you can't get melted butter if you don't butter it immediately

Same as using a fork and knife on your pizza. Someone upthread said they'd never, ever, eaten pizza with a knife and fork - never eaten pizza in a nice restaurant?

I use a knife & fork when my pizza's too hot to pick up & eat w/o burning my mouth. I do not typically order pizza at "nice" restaurants, however

 

[Coconut36]

What "nice restaurant" serves pizza? I can't say it is an item I have seen on a nice restaurant menu. Casual dining..sure.

 

[cornflake]

Tons?

Last time I was out to dinner at a nice place I ordered pizza.

Also, kind of famously, Spago.

 

[Bluestars]

That was HILARIOUS!!!!

Much of what falls into the category of proper etiquette with regards to table manners beyond the basic things most folks learn as kids (not chewing with your mouth open, bodily noises, using toothpicks at the table etc.) I've either learned from reading books or watching movies whereby the characters were well schooled in etiquette

Reading this thread had made me acutely aware of how much more there is that I don't know Had no clue about the bread thing really Normally, I generally don't give a rip about what anyone thinks. If I were to commit a minor faux pas and if the person no longer wishes to associate with me on that account, their loss, my gain. That said, I appreciate any opportunity to learn the right way to do something when it presents itself.

I serioulsy do not get the hostility towards people here who WERE taught the rules of proper etiquette and table manners coming from those who weren't. I'm actually glad some of them chose to share what they were taught. I learned something new today Now, am I going to tear, butter, eat, repeat my roll at home? Nope. Next time I go to Victoria & Alberts or Remy though, yes.

Inspired by this thread, I am actually ordering Etiquette for Dummies

I think the hostility is due to the way some people are stating the rules of etiquette. It's one thing to state that your pet peeve is a person buttering an entire roll or not tearing off pieces. It's another to call that person a name like the person who said it absolutely infantilizes the person or to state they would not want to associate with a person who doesn't know the rule.

I would have no interest dining with a person who felt that way. I agree that it's nice to learn new things that we may not have been taught. However, to insult people who may not have had that same exposure is worse, in my opinion. It comes across as very snobbish, which is worse to me than not knowing a particular etiquette rule.

 

[minniecarousel]

wow - 17 pages of table manners?

When our boys were growing up, we def had different rules for eating out & eating at home. No belching when eating out, but an "excuse me" at home had to be at least as loud as the burp!

And the roll & butter thing?! I thought that had gone the way of the dinosaur!


I still miss the way my mom crunched potato chips

 

[ilovemk76]

I was watching Desperate Housewives. Bree and her lawyer are in a fancy restaurant. The lawyer takes his roll, rips it in half, butters the half, takes a bite and in a later scene the half with a bit out is on his plate.

Those DH writes do not know the roll rule!!!!

 

[cornflake]

If it was universally known as "basic etiquette", I would think someone such as myself would have seen it done at least once in the 44 years I've roamed this Earth. I think this "etiquette", like many traditions is very regional or restricted to certain settings. Chewing with your mouth closed is something everyone knows (even those who don't adhere to the policy). Tearing off individual bites of bread and buttering them individually? Not so much.

And as one who has a mustache, I'm quite concious about getting food on my face. For rolls, I'll typically split them in half & butter each half. For a 1/2" thick slice of bread? Butter the whole thing. As previously mentioned, you can't get melted butter if you don't butter it immediately



I use a knife & fork when my pizza's too hot to pick up & eat w/o burning my mouth. I do not typically order pizza at "nice" restaurants, however

Lots of things are regional I agree - like the street food stuff vs. fair food and, as in another thread, cotillion etiquette. I know there exists cotillion etiquette; it doesn't exist in my vicinity, however.

The bread thing is basic, universal western dining etiquette though. As noted by many people in the thread, from all areas. I believe someone even quoted EP or Miss Manners as well. I don't know why you haven't seen it - or perhaps haven't noticed it (as I said way back, it's the kind of thing I might notice in passing but I wouldn't find particularly notable [someone buttering their whole roll] so maybe the same in reverse).

It's just automatic, if it's something that you learned as a small child. Same as chewing with your mouth closed. So it's not as if someone who does it would make some show of mincing up the bread sos you'd notice. They'd just tear a piece of bread, dab butter on it or dip it in oil, eat it, keep talking or whatever. When they wanted more bread, they'd do that again. Hence I don't know that you'd necessarily think anything of it.

Just for the heck of it though - you don't even generally take a whole slice of bread (you would take a whole small roll, but the big slices, no), nevermind butter the whole slice, in a restaurant. You tear it in half or tear off a piece. Later, should you want more, you can take the other half from the basket.

I dunno how y'all don't order pizza in nice restaurants ever, but that's your perogative. Generally good restaurants make good pizza, I'm just saying. Try it sometime. Heh.

 

[disykat]

I have never in my life seen anyone eat bread in that manner. Must be a "society" thing

Same here. I'm pretty sure I would have gotten in trouble for "playing with my food" if I had done so. It sounds like it looks ridiculous!

 

[disykat]

Just for the heck of it though - you don't even generally take a whole slice of bread (you would take a whole small roll, but the big slices, no), nevermind butter the whole slice, in a restaurant. You tear it in half or tear off a piece. Later, should you want more, you can take the other half from the basket.

.

You handle the slice of bread and then put half of it back in the communal basket?