Table Manners....

[pickles521]

What a crazy thread! I will avoid the bread controversy, but have a real question...

Someone said that you never cut salad with your knife (19 pages is too many to go back and quote it!). If that's true, what do you do when your lettuce peices are too big to delicately put in your mouth? Not eat the salad? I really want to know!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Who wants to eat the other half of the piece that you tossed back in the bread basket after you've torn off your half?? That is nasty IMO. To touch something & put it back in a communal basket.

^^^This - I'd be WAY more mortified if someone were to grab a piece of bread with their bare hands, tear it, and then put half back in the basket. That seems way nastier than buttering an entire slice. I'm surprised the "if you touch it, it's yours" rule isn't "universal"

BTW, most of the bread that I've received in restaurants is of the small loaf variety. A "slice" is perhaps 1/3 the size of a slice of say Wonder Bread. Were you to take only 1/2 the slice, you'd get at most 2 bites of bread.

 

[Jennasis]

Yes, but to cut that loaf, each person would have to touch it with their hands!!

I'm guessing your family all spent the night in intensive care after dinner, because you all ingested food that someone else actually touched!!

Not at all. I/we hold the bread by the end (the piece we intend to eat) and cut behind where we are holding, so our hands never touch any part of the bread we are not going to eat. I guess i've been assuming this was SOP for cutting bread from a loaf.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Yes, but to cut that loaf, each person would have to touch it with their hands!!

I'm guessing your family all spent the night in intensive care after dinner, because you all ingested food that someone else actually touched!!

You grasp the end that you're slicing off for yourself, not the loaf you're leaving behind

 

[usnuzuloose]

What a crazy thread! I will avoid the bread controversy, but have a real question...

Someone said that you never cut salad with your knife (19 pages is too many to go back and quote it!). If that's true, what do you do when your lettuce peices are too big to delicately put in your mouth? Not eat the salad? I really want to know!

I actually looked this up yesterday, it is perfectly acceptable to cut the lettue with the knife. Your good to go.

 

[akhenaten]

What a crazy thread! I will avoid the bread controversy, but have a real question...

Someone said that you never cut salad with your knife (19 pages is too many to go back and quote it!). If that's true, what do you do when your lettuce peices are too big to delicately put in your mouth? Not eat the salad? I really want to know!

IMO... the person preparing the salad is supposed to make sure the pieces are bite sized so you do not have to cut them. If I get a piece too big... I cut it myself.

I also recall from way back in home ec that while preparing the salad you are not supposed to cut it either.. I think it had something to do with the metal of the knife oxidizing and discoloring the lettuce...

 

[topolino]

You grasp the end that you're slicing off for yourself, not the loaf you're leaving behind

No, no, no, that isn't even close to adequate. I propose we all start to wear surgical masks and rubber gloves to dinner, than we can all feel comfortable and enjoy ourselves!

(you laugh, but will you be surprised if it becomes the norm thirty years from now? When I was a kid, the guy behind the deli didn't wear gloves, and now they do. Funny, I don't remember there being a higher occurrence of illness then compared to now.)

 

[Gumbo4x4]

The bread thing is basic, universal western dining etiquette though. As noted by many people in the thread, from all areas. I believe someone even quoted EP or Miss Manners as well. I don't know why you haven't seen it - or perhaps haven't noticed it (as I said way back, it's the kind of thing I might notice in passing but I wouldn't find particularly notable [someone buttering their whole roll] so maybe the same in reverse).

I'm not a regular reader of Miss Manners, but when I have checked it out, it seemed to be a place to check on etiquette questions you would NOT "normally" know automatically. In other words, "little known facts"

I dunno how y'all don't order pizza in nice restaurants ever, but that's your perogative. Generally good restaurants make good pizza, I'm just saying. Try it sometime. Heh.

Nice restaurants are a special treat for us. Actually, eating out AT ALL is. Good pizza can be had without going to a "nice" restaurant. But, lots of other dishes cannot. So, when we eat somewhere nice, we like to have something we can't get otherwise

 

[Gumbo4x4]

No, no, no, that isn't even close to adequate. I propose we all start to wear surgical masks and rubber gloves to dinner, than we can all feel comfortable and enjoy ourselves!

(you laugh, but will you be surprised if it becomes the norm thirty years from now? When I was a kid, the guy behind the deli didn't wear gloves, and now they do. Funny, I don't remember there being a higher occurrence of illness then compared to now.)

One thing about the deli guy though, you always assumed he'd washed his hands. Other people at your table? Maybe not

 

[babyrich]

One thing about the deli guy though, you always assumed he'd washed his hands. Other people at your table? Maybe not

But on most days I dont find my DH so disgusting that I would not eat a piece of bread he touched. There has been many times one of us takes a roll breaks it in half and offers it to the other.

I mean if I am dining with someone I find that gross, I take my bread first; but really when I am having dinner with my family there is usually a bread basket that goes around the table, I know some of the pieces have been touched by others, I am not that easily grossed out by that.

 

[mrodgers]

One thing about the deli guy though, you always assumed he'd washed his hands. Other people at your table? Maybe not

If you can assume the deli guy washed his hands, you can assume the others at your table has, because you can not assume at all that the deli guy washed his hands.

Chewing with your mouth open.... Is it better to see someone chewing with their mouth open slightly, or is it better to see them gasping for air after they swallowed their food?

Seriously, with my allergies, there are times I can not breathe at all through my nose from stuffed swollen sinus. No, I don't chew with my mouth open, but I do have to hold my breathe while I chew to keep it closed. I may take a moment to stop chewing and take a breath or two though. It's necessary, I do have to breathe to live. Or else I could be trying to breathe VERY heavily, flairing the nostrils, taking extremely noisy deep breaths in order to breathe and keep my mouth closed at the same time. As I sit here right now and try to breathe through my nose, I can not do it.

As for the bread, I just normally carry gloves with me. That way, I can put gloves on when breaking the bread and putting half back in the basket....

 

[Jennasis]

No, no, no, that isn't even close to adequate. I propose we all start to wear surgical masks and rubber gloves to dinner, than we can all feel comfortable and enjoy ourselves!

(you laugh, but will you be surprised if it becomes the norm thirty years from now? When I was a kid, the guy behind the deli didn't wear gloves, and now they do. Funny, I don't remember there being a higher occurrence of illness then compared to now.)

I guess I don't understand why you (and others) are being so snarky. You asked a question and it was answered honestly. For a thread about manners, this thread sure seems to be lacking in them.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

But on most days I dont find my DH so disgusting that I would not eat a piece of bread he touched. There has been many times one of us takes a roll breaks it in half and offers it to the other.

I mean if I am dining with someone I find that gross, I take my bread first; but really when I am having dinner with my family there is usually a bread basket that goes around the table, I know some of the pieces have been touched by others, I am not that easily grossed out by that.

I'm not going to be grossed out with my wife & kids. Nor probably will I make a big deal out of someone else accidentally touching my bread while slicing. That said, I can't imagine bringing the food to your plate, halving it with your bare hands, and then returning the rest to the communal basket. It may not be any more unsanitary than the other, but just seems "wrong".

 

[Gumbo4x4]

If you can assume the deli guy washed his hands, you can assume the others at your table has, because you can not assume at all that the deli guy washed his hands.

Well, the deli guy still has to deal with a health inspector & keeping clean is part of their training and always was, even before plastic gloves (which they all now obviously use). As opposed to having lunch with my boss who I know for a fact dashes out of the bathroom w/o washing his hands.

 

[mombrontrent]

I have and currently do work in a restaurant that uses gloves out front while preparing food. If anything it's worse because people wash thier hands less because they are putting gloves on. It makes customers feel it's cleaner when really I don't believe it is. Those gloves come off in the back kitchen and EVERYTHING is touched with bare hands. Yes people wash thier hands but not as often as you might expect. It's not uncommon for someone to come directly from cash and touching money to prepare salad in the back. This happens at all restaurnats all the time.

 

[jen0610]

Once again, you don't rip it all into small piece first! First take a pat of butter from the butter dish and place it on the your bread plate, you tear a SINGLE bite leaving the rest of the bread/roll whole, smear the single bite with a dab of butter, consume the bite by placing the bite inside your mouth. Tear another small bite, smear with a dab of butter, place the bite in the mouth. Gnawing on a whole smeared slice of bread is so crass. Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking. Lip licking is poor table manners. Yes a sandwich is similar, but then again a sandwich is a casual meal and would never be served at a formal dinner.

What other food would you put the whole portion to your lips, gnaw off a section, then place the bitten food item back on the plate?

I do know a couple of people who eat their dinner rolls this way. I feel bad for the waitstaff, as by the time they have scooped butter onto their plate - which they never use all of it by the way- there isn't enough butter for the rest of us to butter our cut open dinner rolls, thus causing the waitstaff to be running and fetching butter for us through out the whole meal. They waste a lot more butter than they ever use.

Pizza, tacos, burritos, corn dogs, hot dogs, grilled cheese, hamburgers, gyros, fried chicken, chicken strips, ribs, watermelon, cookies, brownies, an apple, etc.

I guess I just eat a lot of crass meals.

And now I am soooooo craving a hot buttered roll or any of those other things .

You left off on of the best hot buttery messes that you put the whole thing to your mouth but only bite off the portion that you are going to chew in that mouthfull. CORN ON THE COB. Best hot, buttery messy food to eat EVER.

I think that the only thing that really skeeves me out (well, other than picking your teeth with a fork ) has to be someone chewing with their mouth open. It turns my stomach.

Other than that, I guess my formal table manners must really suck because I:

Butter all of my bread while it's hot. If it's a roll, I use my knife (assuming a sharp one has been provided and not a dull table knife) to cut it open.

Eat pizza, fried chicken, french fries, bacon, and sandwiches with my fingers. (I don't eat peas with my knife, although I tried once just for giggles. Disastrous.)

Cut my salad with a knife and fork if the greens or something else is in too big of a chunk for one bite.

Double dip if it's just Mrs. Tex and me. She does too, and have you seen the Mythbusters episode where they explore double dipping?

By the way, I can eat both American style (the knife and fork dance, which -- at least back in the 1970's -- mesmerizes Germans) and European style. I prefer American, but it's just a preference.

I can't remember the last time I got a salad that didn't have at least 1 huge chunk of lettuce or onion that didn't need to be cut in half or 3rd's just to fit it into my mouth, so that I could chew and the person across from me not see what was taking place inside my mouth.

We are the same. If it's just us 2, 3 or all 4 of us, dip away. BUT the kids have been taught that if they are sharing with others outside of the family unit, no double dip in the communal bowl.

 

[babyrich]

What about a Wedge Salad??? they serve a wedge of Iceburg Lettuce... can I use my fork to cut that? They have this at Outback too!

 

[cluvsdisney]

I just recently heard about the bread rule...it does make sense and something I will try to remember it when I eat bread in restaurants.

I knew about the lettuce/salad thing but some restaurants do not cut the salad ingredients into bite sized pieces. I think using a knife is much better than shoving a dollar sized piece of lettuce into my mouth...LOL

I never got into folding pizza. I think the crease makes a channel for grease that ends up dripping off the pizza. The grease either drips on the plate or runs onto my hand - neither of which is appetizing. I hold the pizza flat or use a knife & fork.

Personally, I can't stand it when people get food on their face, even worse when I have to tell them it's there.

 

[usnuzuloose]

What about a Wedge Salad??? they serve a wedge of Iceburg Lettuce... can I use my fork to cut that? They have this at Outback too!

Yes it fine to cut it with your knife. I read that yesterday.

 

[Jennasis]

I just recently heard about the bread rule...it does make sense and something I will try to remember it when I eat bread in restaurants.

I knew about the lettuce/salad thing but some restaurants do not cut the salad ingredients into bite sized pieces. I think using a knife is much better than shoving a dollar sized piece of lettuce into my mouth...LOL

I never got into folding pizza. I think the crease makes a channel for grease that ends up dripping off the pizza. The grease either drips on the plate or runs onto my hand - neither of which is appetizing. I hold the pizza flat or use a knife & fork.

Personally, I can't stand it when people get food on their face, even worse when I have to tell them it's there.

Wait what? We can't fold our pizza in half anymore either?? Shoot, that's gonna be a hard one to gain any favor in the NY metro area. The only pizza I don't fold is "un-pizza" (Dominos, Pizza hut, Papa Johns). Real pizza, like back home on Long Island, you kind of have to fold to eat. The grease runs out the back in the "channel" and you let it drip onto your plate, holding the fold by the top rather than the bottom. Also, I tend to blot the extra grease off with a napkin first.