Table Manners....

[SaraJayne]

Lots of things are regional I agree - like the street food stuff vs. fair food and, as in another thread, cotillion etiquette. I know there exists cotillion etiquette; it doesn't exist in my vicinity, however.

The bread thing is basic, universal western dining etiquette though. As noted by many people in the thread, from all areas. I believe someone even quoted EP or Miss Manners as well. I don't know why you haven't seen it - or perhaps haven't noticed it (as I said way back, it's the kind of thing I might notice in passing but I wouldn't find particularly notable [someone buttering their whole roll] so maybe the same in reverse).

It's just automatic, if it's something that you learned as a small child. Same as chewing with your mouth closed. So it's not as if someone who does it would make some show of mincing up the bread sos you'd notice. They'd just tear a piece of bread, dab butter on it or dip it in oil, eat it, keep talking or whatever. When they wanted more bread, they'd do that again. Hence I don't know that you'd necessarily think anything of it.

Just for the heck of it though - you don't even generally take a whole slice of bread (you would take a whole small roll, but the big slices, no), nevermind butter the whole slice, in a restaurant. You tear it in half or tear off a piece. Later, should you want more, you can take the other half from the basket.

I dunno how y'all don't order pizza in nice restaurants ever, but that's your perogative. Generally good restaurants make good pizza, I'm just saying. Try it sometime. Heh.

Yick. You touch the bread, it's yours. You do not put it back in the basket! That goes for eating at home, as well as eating out.

 

[tekoa]

The one thing that bothers me is wearing baseball caps at the table. I was on a cruise in March and there were two or three men that wore baseball caps in the formal dining room. This is the same dining room where I saw people turned away for wearing shorts, but apparently the hat was ok.
In a fast food restaurant it does not bother me, but in a nicer place please take of your hat.

 

[beaucoup]

Eating should be fun. Not uptight. I would feel very anxious eating around some DISers.

However, if I'm ever invited to have dinner with the Queen, I will come check with the etiquette police here.

 

[joviroxx]

Is it really regional? I was raised by Cuban parents in Miami. I have mexican family as well and visit often. I was always taught about the roll thing. Go figure.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I really thought that I had good manners, but I found out I have been eating my bread wrong for years! My children also take a Manners Matter Etiquette Class each year and I went though the little booklet that they get and there is nothing about buttering bread this way in the book. This thread has been an eye opener for sure. I was thinking smacking, singing, talking on the phone, or making noises with food, playing and so on, I had no idea we would talk about some of the other issues. It's been great!

I'm ordering the Manners for Dummies book! Thanks to whoever mentioned it here. I'm sure that there is a lot more that I didn't know. I never even glanced at the booklet that my kids brought home from their class until tonight. Here are a few things from the booklet.

Wait for host to sit down at the table before you sit down. (I have never seen this happen)

When any woman stands to leave the table or returns, the men should stand up.
(my DH does this...... Only if I am needing out of the booth we are seated at)

Don't blow on your food if it's to hot. Allow it to cool on its own. (I'm sure I grossed out all kinds of people when my kids were babies )


Who ever mentioned the hat thing, this weekend DH and I went to dinner at a Japanese restaurant and we were seated by a young couple. The boy was maybe 20, she was younger. He had a hat on the whole time. I guess I never realized how rude it was until that night, especially at a nice place.

In reading this thread, I kept thinking what restaurants at Disney serve bread? I can't wait to look around and see how many people now butter and eat their bread the proper way!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I was watching Desperate Housewives. Bree and her lawyer are in a fancy restaurant. The lawyer takes his roll, rips it in half, butters the half, takes a bite and in a later scene the half with a bit out is on his plate.

Those DH writes do not know the roll rule!!!!

You are now a true member of the roll police! I can see me doing the same thing!

 

[kaytieeldr]

You handle the slice of bread and then put half of it back in the communal basket?

Yick. You touch the bread, it's yours. You do not put it back in the basket! That goes for eating at home, as well as eating out.

You use the napkin lining the bread basket to avoid touching anything except the roll or piece of bread you plan to eat.

 

[LBIJim]

Geez, of all the possible bad manners one can exhibit at the dining table, not buttering and eating a roll in the ridiculous manner described above must rank somewhere like 10,001 on the list. I'm still at the poster who was so aghast by it. Thanks for a good laugh.

Jim

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I get the warm roll, spread it on the bun and eat it. Maybe I will get grabby fingers and take my husband's roll if he doesn't want it. Sometimes if I am at a burger place I put my elbows on the table. I also don't care for folding my pizza in half. As long as I am not grossing someone out by my eating habits I don't really think someone should care that much.

 

[Nancyg56]

Talk about a tempest in a teapot!!

. Setting the table with the knife on the right and the fork on the left makes them easier to seize for eating in the European fashion.

I just needed to chime in on this. Many years ago I invited Buddy's parents to dinner. MIL must have thought I was raised in a cave because she expressed surprise that I had set the table with crystal glasses, good china and silver. After that she determined that chastising me and her son about the way we used silverware was appropriate. Now my Momma raised me right and would have been appalled that I corrected anyone at my table but I did point out that she was correct in Europe but not so much here. This was the first and last time I invited her to dinner, she was using me to ridicule her son and I found that to be beyond rude.

I think that good table manners begin and end by treating those around you with courtesy and respect. Yes, we all know most of those rules. I confess that I never knew why people break their bread into little pieces and honestly never really noticed. I sure would not be annoyed by how people spoon their soup or butter their bread or cut their meat. I am annoyed when someone makes it uncomfortable to enjoy a meal or embarrasses anyone at my table by pointing out a lack of formal dining procedures.

Now for peeves. I cannot stand people chewing with their mouths open or finding the need to talk while their mouth is full. Chewed up food spewing all over makes me nuts. A buttered roll is not even on my radar.

 

[MIGrandma]

The only real pet peeve I have about eating out is when people let their children peek over the booth and stare at me and my companions. I realize that children are impulsive and might think this to be fun, but it shouldn't last more than a minute. When the parent sees what the child is doing, they should make the child turn around and sit down. So many times, I've seen parents ignore this behavior or, oddly, encourage it.

Exactly the reason I declined the booth that was offered to my Mom and me at the Chinese restaurant last week. Two little kids at the next booth and one hanging all over the back of the booth she wanted us to take. No thanks. We asked to sit elsewhere.

I was going to reply to that, until I read the post below...

I think the hostility is due to the way some people are stating the rules of etiquette. It's one thing to state that your pet peeve is a person buttering an entire roll or not tearing off pieces. It's another to call that person a name like the person who said it absolutely infantilizes the person or to state they would not want to associate with a person who doesn't know the rule.

I would have no interest dining with a person who felt that way. I agree that it's nice to learn new things that we may not have been taught. However, to insult people who may not have had that same exposure is worse, in my opinion. It comes across as very snobbish, which is worse to me than not knowing a particular etiquette rule.

I totally agree. Also, another person used the word crass when talking about people who don't butter their roll "properly." And another person said it made them look "low class." THAT is what annoyed me. I don't care if someone wants to butter their roll the "proper" way, but to belittle others for not doing it "properly" is actually quite rude.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Lots of things are regional I agree - like the street food stuff vs. fair food and, as in another thread, cotillion etiquette. I know there exists cotillion etiquette; it doesn't exist in my vicinity, however.

The bread thing is basic, universal western dining etiquette though. As noted by many people in the thread, from all areas. I believe someone even quoted EP or Miss Manners as well. I don't know why you haven't seen it - or perhaps haven't noticed it (as I said way back, it's the kind of thing I might notice in passing but I wouldn't find particularly notable [someone buttering their whole roll] so maybe the same in reverse).

It's just automatic, if it's something that you learned as a small child. Same as chewing with your mouth closed. So it's not as if someone who does it would make some show of mincing up the bread sos you'd notice. They'd just tear a piece of bread, dab butter on it or dip it in oil, eat it, keep talking or whatever. When they wanted more bread, they'd do that again. Hence I don't know that you'd necessarily think anything of it.

Just for the heck of it though - you don't even generally take a whole slice of bread (you would take a whole small roll, but the big slices, no), nevermind butter the whole slice, in a restaurant. You tear it in half or tear off a piece. Later, should you want more, you can take the other half from the basket.
I dunno how y'all don't order pizza in nice restaurants ever, but that's your perogative. Generally good restaurants make good pizza, I'm just saying. Try it sometime. Heh.

Who wants to eat the other half of the piece that you tossed back in the bread basket after you've torn off your half?? That is nasty IMO. To touch something & put it back in a communal basket.

 

[topolino]

It's amazing to me how many people are aghast over the fact that someone might put a half a roll back into a communal bread basket after having broken it. Fainting icons and the use of hyperbole like, "yick" and "nasty" abound, all because someone dares to break off part of a roll and put the rest back in the basket. Mind you, their mouths haven't touched the part that went back into the basket, and more than likely that partial roll won't touch any other roll.

I'm being sincere here, and I ask this because I'm truly curious. Do you folks eat chips or cheez doodle or whatever out of communal bowls at parties or bars?

Have we really become this germophobic?

 

[marmalade]

It's amazing to me how many people are aghast over the fact that someone might put a half a roll back into a communal bread basket after having broken it. Fainting icons and the use of hyperbole like, "yick" and "nasty" abound, all because someone dares to break off part of a roll and put the rest back in the basket. Mind you, their mouths haven't touched the part that went back into the basket, and more than likely that partial roll won't touch any other roll.

I'm being sincere here, and I ask this because I'm truly curious. Do you folks eat chips or cheez doodle or whatever out of communal bowls at parties or bars?

Have we really become this germophobic?

There have been a few posts that say the same thing with the same fainting smiley. I read them as the posters saying why is it NOT OK to bite something of your own and put it back on your own plate, but it's OK to touch something with your dirty hands and place it back in a dish where others want to eat out of?

And when I say dirty hands, I am saying this because think of how many things you touch from the time you wash them until the time you sit down to eat.

 

[babyrich]

This is another thread with a topic of "I was raised better than you".....

While I find some peoples table habits annoying and different than mine, I dont feel the need to belittle them for it. I am sure there are habits of mine that they do not find pleasant.

My company has group lunches a few times a year. This is really where you see how different we were all taught. Try going out with 15 of your coworkers and see the different table manners.

One of my childhood friend's family regulary burbed at the dinner table, ALL OF THEM!!! out loud, they would say "excuse me" and continue to eat. I told my mom about it and she said, some people do things different. So you may find it disgusting and some people may find it normal.

 

[MIGrandma]

It's amazing to me how many people are aghast over the fact that someone might put a half a roll back into a communal bread basket after having broken it. Fainting icons and the use of hyperbole like, "yick" and "nasty" abound, all because someone dares to break off part of a roll and put the rest back in the basket. Mind you, their mouths haven't touched the part that went back into the basket, and more than likely that partial roll won't touch any other roll.

I'm being sincere here, and I ask this because I'm truly curious. Do you folks eat chips or cheez doodle or whatever out of communal bowls at parties or bars?

Have we really become this germophobic?

Then why not use your fingers to take food from a buffet instead of using all the individual tongs, etc. that are provided? They are provided for customers to use to try and prevent germs from being transferred to the food.

If someone takes a roll out of the bread basket on the table, and breaks it apart with their bare fingers and then puts half of it BACK into the basket then the germs on their hands (even if they washed their hands before they sat down, if they had to pull a chair out from the table with their hands they got germs back onto them) are going to be found on that half roll and they will therefore transfer to the other rolls. Even if their mouth hasn't touched the other half, their hands have.

I agree with others who think that is gross. Why not just take the whole roll, and put it on your own bread plate?

 

[Jennasis]

We had dinner at OUtback last night. They serve that warm brown bread but the loaf is brought to the table uncut. Each of our party, in turn, cut a piece of bread using the knife provided and then buttered the whole slice we'd cut.

If bread is offered pre-sliced, we each take a WHOLE slice and put it on our plate and then butter/eat it how we like. Same for rolls.

I don't care if it's right or wrong. It's how I roll...pun intended.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

There have been a few posts that say the same thing with the same fainting smiley. I read them as the posters saying why is it NOT OK to bite something of your own and put it back on your own plate, but it's OK to touch something with your dirty hands and place it back in a dish where others want to eat out of?

And when I say dirty hands, I am saying this because think of how many things you touch from the time you wash them until the time you sit down to eat.

Ding, ding, ding... We have a winner.

 

[Metsfan520]

We had dinner at OUtback last night. They serve that warm brown bread but the loaf is brought to the table uncut. Each of our party, in turn, cut a piece of bread using the knife provided and then buttered the whole slice we'd cut.

If bread is offered pre-sliced, we each take a WHOLE slice and put it on our plate and then butter/eat it how we like. Same for rolls.

I don't care if it's right or wrong. It's how I roll...pun intended.

The whole time I've been reading this thread I was thinking of that bread at Outback and how you have to butter it right away so the butter melts into the bread. It's delicious that way! And I must say I do the same thing with bread/rolls too. I've never heard that rule before. And my mom must have never heard it, because she was a stickler for good table manners at home and at restaurants.

 

[topolino]

We had dinner at OUtback last night. They serve that warm brown bread but the loaf is brought to the table uncut. Each of our party, in turn, cut a piece of bread using the knife provided and then buttered the whole slice we'd cut.

If bread is offered pre-sliced, we each take a WHOLE slice and put it on our plate and then butter/eat it how we like. Same for rolls.

I don't care if it's right or wrong. It's how I roll...pun intended.

Yes, but to cut that loaf, each person would have to touch it with their hands!!

I'm guessing your family all spent the night in intensive care after dinner, because you all ingested food that someone else actually touched!!