Sympathy Card - is it too late?

[Beth]

Hello,

A friend of ours lost his father last Wednesday. ...The funeral was two days ago - on Monday.

Is it too late to send a sympathy card? If I mailed it today, they'd likely receive it on Friday. ...I would really like to send them a hand-written note, but would it be inappropriate to send one five days after the funeral?

I guess - I'm just thinking - if someone is trying to "heal," would it do more harm than good to remind them, again?

Thanks in advance...
~ Beth

 

[mickeyboat]

Please go ahead and send it. When all the excitement and business of the services are over, and relatives go home and company stops coming by, it is nice to see that someone still cares. It's never too late.

 

[lewdyan1]

Absolutely!!! It is never too late to send a card. I think it is especially nice that you are sending a hand written note!

 

[MichelleinMaine]

Definately send it. The funeral would be just one step on a long road to grieving and "healing". The more friends along that road, the better. (Arguably, may need those kind words even more as time goes out and the others may not be as close.)

 

[Beth]

Thanks very much for your feedback. ...I appreciate it.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Not at all. Even waiting a week, and then invite your friend out to lunch. After a few days everyone else goes back to their lives while the real grieving starts.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Beth, my husband and I both lost our fathers less than six months apart. In both cases we received cards for weeks after their deaths and took great comfort in having people show how much they cared. By no means is it too late to express your condolences. You have no idea how much it will likely mean to your friend.

 

[Beth]

Not at all. Even waiting a week, and then invite your friend out to lunch. After a few days everyone else goes back to their lives while the real grieving starts.

There were actually several old friends at the funeral - and we all hadn't seen each other in a long time. I started a "group message" on Facebook, and we've all agreed to get together for dinner in 3 weeks. I hate that it takes funerals to reunite with people - but I'm really looking forward to seeing these guys, again - and hope it sparks a "regular" thing.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

There were actually several old friends at the funeral - and we all hadn't seen each other in a long time. I started a "group message" on Facebook, and we've all agreed to get together for dinner in 3 weeks. I hate that it takes funerals to reunite with people - but I'm really looking forward to seeing these guys, again - and hope it sparks a "regular" thing.

Good for you!

 

[wdwfan16]

You are not too late. Send the card. They will appreciate your kind thoughts.

 

[NMAmy]

Nope, not too late at all. Now is the time when the bereaved actually have time to read the condolence cards. I know that after my dad died, my mom was really touched by folks who had written a special memory of my dad. I try to do that in every sympathy card I send now.

 

[Abbie]

Hello,

A friend of ours lost his father last Wednesday. ...The funeral was two days ago - on Monday.

Is it too late to send a sympathy card? If I mailed it today, they'd likely receive it on Friday. ...I would really like to send them a hand-written note, but would it be inappropriate to send one five days after the funeral?

I guess - I'm just thinking - if someone is trying to "heal," would it do more harm than good to remind them, again?

Thanks in advance...
~ Beth

I firmly believe it's never too late and never wrong to do a kindness.

I think people sometimes worry they will "remind" someone of their loss but in truth, people who have suffered a loss never really "forget". Their loved one is always in the back of their minds anyway....it's more of a problem that they think everyone else has forgotten their loss.

Send the note, it will mean so much!

 

[marthachick]

DS's friend's dad died in September from a brain tumor. DS went to her house & spent hours with her the days following his death. We decided to wait a couple of weeks to send flowers. She & her mother were so appreciative to get the flowers then and mentioned them every time we saw them. She said it really meant alot because all of the distant relatives were gone and the calls had slowed a lot. I think they were touched that someone was still thinking of them.

 

[missypie]

Gosh, I thought you were going to say it's been six months or something. Of course it's not too late. Six months is not too late. A year is not too late. When I am seriously late, I send a note or a "thinking of you" type card rather than the traditional sympathy card.

With a very very late card I try to share a memory, as in, "or "I was just remembering the time we ran out of gas and your dad came and picked us up..." or "I was looking through some pictures and ran across one of..."

 

[DisneyMim]

No it's not too late at all. I lost my Dad last April. If someone just found out now and sent me a card it would be totally appreciated. I think it's nice of you. I know it meant a lot to me when people sent cards and notes telling me stories, etc. It's never too late to be caring.

 

[browneyes106]

It's never too late to send a card. After my brother died my parents received cards and calls weeks later from people who had just found out or maybe didn't think of sending a card earlier. Anything from the heart always matters.

 

[bumbershoot]

I guess - I'm just thinking - if someone is trying to "heal," would it do more harm than good to remind them, again?

Oh gosh no.

I think people sometimes worry they will "remind" someone of their loss but in truth, people who have suffered a loss never really "forget". Their loved one is always in the back of their minds anyway....it's more of a problem that they think everyone else has forgotten their loss.

Send the note, it will mean so much!

Absolutely! My mom is always in the back of my mind, almost 10 years later. If one of my friends sent me a note today saying "I was thinking of your mom's chocolate cake", I might burst into tears, but it wouldn't be a bad thing. It would be like a big hug from my friend, and it would make me feel GOOD that people were still thinking of her.

With a very very late card I try to share a memory, as in, "or "I was just remembering the time we ran out of gas and your dad came and picked us up..." or "I was looking through some pictures and ran across one of..."

I wish my friends were like you. But none of them have lost a parent yet. None of them know.

 

[Art 1]

Hello,

A friend of ours lost his father last Wednesday. ...The funeral was two days ago - on Monday.

Is it too late to send a sympathy card? If I mailed it today, they'd likely receive it on Friday. ...I would really like to send them a hand-written note, but would it be inappropriate to send one five days after the funeral?

I guess - I'm just thinking - if someone is trying to "heal," would it do more harm than good to remind them, again?

Thanks in advance...
~ Beth

Not at all too late.

 

[antmaril]

Send the card. I lost my husband 18 months ago and if I received a card today, it would still be appreciated.

 

[Silent1CB]

Never too late.