Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[Mrs. The King]

I did the quiet game with the first also. I remember watching a comedianne on TV with my sister and scream laughing into pillows...sitting an inch from the tv so i could keep the volumn so very low.
By the time i had my forth child, we made so much noise that fireworks were soothing to her!

The fourth pancake is always easier to make then the first.

My first 3 children NEVER slept!!!! I was a zombie for 10 years.........it's amazing I had time to "make" other children after the first. Oy. After 15 years of kids who get up at the butt crack of dawn, my oldest will now sleep till 8 on saturday morning. I hear other mothers complaing about their kids wanting to sleep all day, and I'm jealous. Kids.

Thank you, fellow butt crack sufferer. I feel you. I really do.

I'm going to weigh in here, and feel free to laugh at my expense.

My DS was always a great sleeper. To the point where we could easily have the tv on, vacuum, whatever. It was great.

And now, not so much. Because he's three, soon to be four, and trying to give up naptime. Even though he desperately needs it and is a cranky mess without a good nap.

So now, we have become "new parents" with the low volume, phone turned down, the whole nine yards.

Because I don't know about all of you...I mean, I love my toddler, but oy vey! He has sooooooo much energy!

Okay, let's face it. I need the nap.

Going backwards!! That is my kind of parenting. Nonsensical and the hard way!!! You can join me and winkers

 

[TarzansKat]

Going backwards!! That is my kind of parenting. Nonsensical and the hard way!!! You can join me and winkers

We like to mix it up, you know?

Keep all those "normal" parents on their toes, eh!

 

[Mrs. The King]

You know what’s weird? When you are sitting on the couch, late at night, watching Grey’s Anatomy and you feel the baby kick.

And then you realize you are not pregnant. You actually ate something that is mimicking the movement of a baby in your belly. I didn’t even eat anything today that had legs when it was alive, never mind chewed up in my gullet. It was grilled cheese and noodle soup.

My cocker spaniel is the most frustrating dog.

She has trained herself to riot. She has deemed all bets off when a door is opened. Whether it be the front door, her crate door, or a bedroom door. It opens and she launches herself towards any surface that might hold food. Or any person who might hold food. She will take a hot dog right out of one of the kid’s hands if I open the door to the UPS man. Head down to the turlet after dinner, she counter surfs for leftovers. She is evil.

She stays in her crate when we are out of the house and lately, she has been having silent protests against it. I open up the crate door, turn around and she is gone. Dressed up for work she and I play Spaniel around the Rocking chair. Which is a really great game. Such a time saver in the morning.

This past week, I got ready to leave. She was waiting by the crate wagging her ridiculous tail. Happy. As soon as I crouch down to open the crate door, she bolts. She finds the left over part of PS’s waffle. And runs. I find her in the dining room, peeking from behind the chairs. I am calling her the whole time, in a loud angry voice.

After she and I lock eyes in the dining room, I switch too a very sweet, falsely happy voice. She is not buying it. At all.
She is holding her half eaten waffle in her mouth like a prize. It looks like a giant, mocking smile. I head for her around the table.
The showdown begins. Her cockery eyebrows shoot up and she takes off running. Her big fuzzy feet start slipping on my laminate floor. She sounds like a cocker-caterpillar with a million legs.

I get held up by the hutch, trying not to knock over my Cinderella snow ball collection.

She makes it behind the evil rocker. I was going to be early for work.

Now, not so much.

I grab a small American flag on a wooden stick that I have in the living room as a decoration. PS and PC stand in the foyer ready for school, backpacks on. Eyes wide.
They start rooting for the dog.

I flip the flag around and do the unexpected. The spaniel almost drops her stolen waffle as I launch my self straight over the Lazyboy, instead of going around. I start poking her in the rear end with the stick.

The children see the flag and start saying the pledge of allegiance.
I scramble up and start herding her, rodeo style. Finally, she heads into the crate for safety. I close it, panting and all askew for work.

PC solemnly reprimands me ~”Mom, I don’t think poking the dog in the butt is a respectful way to treat a flag.”

Back to Disney. We had joined up with our group, played the Waste Management game. Which kind of makes me laugh. The name I mean.
It reminds me of Elimination Communication. Which I do not think would be very much fun.

Don’t know what that is? It is a radical movement (NOpoop) where mothers forgo using diapers and instead, train themselves to get the infant to the potty in time. The whole thought makes me giggle. Inappropriately. Which is the best way to giggle.

We wandered over to the Velco Show. Can’t remember the name of that show. But I loved it. Gee whiz, we did it twice. The first time PS was chosen to go up on stage. The second time Mr. The King and PC were picked. Grandpa was handed Mr. the King’s beloved camera. Which has so many buttons and lenses and switches.

But Grandpa wielded the camera like a pro. He is a surprising guy. How many Grandpas know every Disney character cold? Pretty impressive. He also spent time taking pictures of people in the water at Sea World for their Dolphin experience. So he can get a picture out of almost anybody’s camera. The very best part of all of this is Grandpa’s accent. Thick from The Bronx.
Grandpa~”Youze guys see Chip and Dale? Chip has the black Noze.”

It’s awesome.

We had to get a move on for the Hoop De do Review. Which is a little like the pilgrimage to Mecca. In that it takes a really long time. First we grabbed a monorail and asked to ride with the driver.

It was available!!! PC kindly asked the monorail driver to sign his autograph book for transportation drivers. The lady driver was more then happy. Next, she opened a little door and pulled out a pack of transportation cards for each of the kids. It was like handing PC blocks of gold. Giving him a present is so intensely satisfying. His gratefulness is always so genuine.
We thanked her and wished her a great day.

We were standing outside MK. Which kind of hurt. We wanted to go in. Just for a peek on our last day. But stamped right on our tickets was “NO entry to the Magic Kingdom”. We eventually found the dock we needed to wait on for the boat over to the Campground.

I could not remember much of the Campground from my childhood. I stayed there with my parents a number of times. I vaguely picture Chip and Dale and a bonfire, but maybe I just wanted to eat a BBQ dinner.
I looked on the water astonished to see that like the dude in Life On Mars, I had been sent back in time.

I looked at the Cast member.
Me~ “Did you order that boat directly form 1973?”
Him with a tight smile ~”She is an old boat.”
Me~”That old girl still water tight?”
Him~ “Are you?”
(nah, he really didn’t say that, but I think he was thinking it.)
We said a prayer and climbed on. I bet the Grand Floridian guests don’t have boats that had the same color scheme as the poncho I wore to kindergarten.

After a 4 hour trip across the alarmingly long pond/lake/bay. We arrived on the dock. We had a bit of a wait. The kids played on the playground. Which was really nifty and neato.

It included actual real rocks. So many people knocked on the boulder while I sat there and watched the kids. Which made me laugh. They were all disappointed because it wasn’t fabricated. Which somehow makes things less spectacular in Disney.

If we all spotted a unicorn, we would walk up to it, knock on it’s head to see if it was animatronic or not. If it was a real, living, breathing, pooping unicorn we would scoff and say things like:
“It’s not a robot”
“Who needs it.”
We would chase it away like a pigeon in the city.
So giant boulder playground which was probably as mystical and fantastic as Stonehenge became an eyesore.

After a trip to the turlet, I spotted a petting zoo.
I called PS and PC over. We high tailed it over. To the pens for the petting zoo. They were passing out pony rides on alive ponies, which made the experience subpar. But free and me go together well. After watching the set up I noticed each ride took about 45 minutes and we would not have the time to partake. So I let the kids pet at the petting zoo. PC would not enjoy the furry fabulousness.

Turns out he had read the signs and was following the rules. Mr. The King took this pic:

Soon the dinner bell was clanging. We skipped the family picture at the barrel.

On the dining plan, we had I think stage 2 seating. Which, in case you want to know, is dangling off the edge of a cliff.
An ankle high beam fence separates you from your death. And they put you on tippy high stools that make you feel like a four year old. Then they hand you bottomless alcoholic beverages which makes you act like a four year old. I have no idea how many guests they have scrapped off the bottom floor over the 550 years this show has been in business.

We were served the bread and maybe a salad. Who can remember? I was dangling off a cliff. The show started. It was stinking cute. My whole family loved it. In between adorable acts and songs we were delivered dinner. Fried Chicken, Ribs, something and something else. Maybe beans. Wait, defiantly beans. I always remember when I load my gun, so to speak.

Then we had a dessert of Strawberry Shortcake:

And we got to bang our spoons on a metal board. Swing our napkins, etc.

And PC ate!! He ate fried chicken like a man. He ate it like a growing boy.
Finally.
Finally. Meat bonanza paying off.

I enjoyed the entire meal with one hand on PS who insisted on sitting against the flimsy fence.

Ever try and eat fried chicken with one hand? Fried chicken isn’t pretty on a good day. One handed you have to prop the chicken up on stuff. Hold it down with your other paw and let your teeth earn their keep. I used the plate, table and Mr. The King’s shoulder to prop.

We were a hot mess of stains when we were done feeding. Despite the danger I really liked our seats, great view of everything. We will continue to do this one until the kids complain about it. I actually would love to stay on the campground again. It is really very nice.
We waddled out of the place rubbing our bellies and tooting our jigglers in delight.

Then we see the vessel from 1973 almost leaving. So Disney instinct kicks in. What is Disney instinct?
Getting on.

Getting on the line, Getting on the ride, getting on the bus. Just really getting on.
So we kick it into King High gear. The “All You Can Muster Buster” dinning plan sloshed like liquid lead in our stomachs.
We made it, flopped in seats. And we proceeded to sit for another 10 minutes. I hate when that happens.

We take the long trip back to MK. Then back on the monorail, waving goodbye to Main Street.
We were going to hit Epcot again until we could not take it anymore. Grandma kept slipping away to work her evil cell phone. I assumed she was launching mini unmanned submarines in Russian waters, as usual.
But she was up to something even more evil.

Up next: Grandma works her magic, Epcot evening.


Chapter 27 Rubber and Lettuce

 

[Goofyluver]

Pictures!!!!!!!

 

[DisneyJo]

We loved HDDR too, you had great photos and I'm so pleased no-one fell off the cliff

 

[mrsksomeday]

Great installment!! I loved the stories about your furbaby. They know exactly when you want to leave and they just won't cooperate!!

I am using your installment to talk Bill into going to the HDDR. It will be one of my picks when we go Dec. 2009.

 

[Mother the King]

I laughed so hard I almost fell off the kitchen chair. You have taken Dad and I back to an amazing vacation, only better than the one we actually went on. You are so funny and have a genius we don't understand. We think you and your sister are aliens as we are both stupid and how you are our children, we don't understand. Much Love, Darth, Mother the King PS When the pictures that Mr the King has taken show up I can't believe how he did what he did! He should get an award from somebody, somewhere. (Maybe us at the Christmas Rocks Show) I am looking for this years Chrismas Rocks already! PS Last night Dad and I danced for four hours straight in the family tradition. They play "Proud to be an American" we all held hands and sang and cried. God we love this country!!

 

[winkers]

I had a cocker spaniel when I was young...........she pee'd constantly! If she got excited, she'd pee, if she was barking, she'd pee, she even pee'd on the bishop's foot when he came to the door. The dog was pure evil. Sure she was cute but that was just a decoy.

Hoop De Doo sounds like alot of fun!

 

[askelton]

It was grilled cheese and noodle soup.

My cocker spaniel is the most frustrating dog.

That's quite a non sequitur.

They start rooting for the dog.

Of course they do.

PC solemnly reprimands me ~”Mom, I don’t think poking the dog in the butt is a respectful way to treat a flag.”

 

[scottny]

ok all caught up.

too much to comment on but happy to see you rode in the front.

nice pics.

 

[carrieannie]

OMG!! The dog ordeal!!! My bassett hound does the same thing with food!!

Isnt riding in front of the monorail the best!!! I keep my monorail license in my wallet where my real license should be..

 

[whogirl'smom]

Finally all caught up! Guess what I've been making this week???????









fudge......

 

[winkers]

fudge......

Oooohhhh, can I have some????

 

[whogirl'smom]

Oooohhhh, can I have some????

Of course you can! Fudge for all!!!!

 

[lazydoxy66]

As I stood there watching him, I was all tensed up. Like I was hanging out at an arrow shooting range with an apple on my head. Because I love balloons as much as the next blonde, but when they pop they scare me. And I pee a little. And that sucks. I also have that reflex when playing Operation. And when I turn the handle on a Jack in the Box. Though, Jack in the Box should be illegal. It is an evil toy. No surprise should ever be a clown out of nowhere.

- Mrs. TK


Dog issue - We actually have these, uh, doggie wraps for my 2 male dogs. We have crates/kennels but we thought it would be good for them be able to stay out when we took short trips to the store, etc.
Max runs to his crate when he sees us pull them out. He'd rather be locked up than wrapped up.

 

[bedillamouse]

I'm another transfer from Zzub's non trip report....I just got through all of your report. Wow I really think you could stop sub teaching and write a book and make lots of money. Heck all you would have to do is put the word out here on the Disboards and you'd have a ton of sales off the bat.

I grew up with a mom who love her potty humor....while I wasn't scared for life it could be embarassing at least until I got older and had my own kids. mwahhhaaaa! (however you sound out evil laughter!)

Loving the report!

 

[winkers]

 

[whogirl'smom]

I'll just keep making fudge till it lures the Jiggler back....



made some chocolate pecan today. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

 

[winkers]

I'll just keep making fudge till it lures the Jiggler back....



made some chocolate pecan today. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Can you share your recipe?
My grandma always made the best fudge. She said she used the recipe off the marshmellow fluff jar. I've tried it and it doesn't taste the same. Probably because she NEVER followed a recipe. Her theory was , if all else fails, follow the directions!


mmmmmmm, now I need fudge!

 

[Mrs. The King]

'I am here ladies I have not been able to write. I should be able to add this weekend! Just finished watching Walle with the kids. I cry so hard during that movie!!
















And the Jiggler keeps begging me for fudge. Whogirl'smom fudge


You all rock for dragging my report up from the depths