Swear Words?

[Laugh O. Grams]

"Stupid" is a swear word with the 6 and 8 yos in our household as well, along with "shut up". We never told them that they were "swear words", just inappropriate. They came up with the label themselves.

 

[NHdisneylover]

When our first kiddo started talking we decided on a different approach.

The rapper Ice-Cube said something interesting in an interview on npr about the language in his music and his kid repeating it. He said, "we don't have 'bad' words in our house. All words have a place within their appropriate context. Maturity doesn't come from abiding by a list of words that can't be used, it comes from knowing when it is appropriate to use them."

This makes a lot more sense to me, and my kids are growing up well with civil tongues, knowing that it is perfectly appropriate for Kanye to use that word even though there are very few contexts in which they or I should attempt it.

From my perspective, I have always said that when people complain about my language they are usually really complaining about my thoughts. If I use a swear word it is because that is the best word available to convey my though (the purpose of words is to convey thought).

Stupid is not a swear word. In my opinion, it's not even a bad word. It's not even remotely a "wrong" word. You know what? People get frustrated and need to express frustrations in words. I'm not sure why it's okay to call an inanimate object "silly" and not "stupid." The thing is technically neither.

Now it's wrong to call a person "stupid" but that's common sense. In many cases it's wrong to call a person "silly." You just don't call people names, period. That's a good rule. Putting a blanket rule on a perfectly acceptable word is confusing.

But that's just my opinion. Frankly, if I stub my toe on the bed and call the bed "stupid" I'm having a great day!

I agree with both of the above--and this is coming from someone who rarely swears and can be made uncomfortable with hearing a lot of it.

 

[ten6mom]

No "shut up" for us either. And I got in BIG trouble as a kid for saying "sucks" in front of my mom so I tell my kids never to let grandma hear them say it.

 

[Southernmiss]

I think all of this depends on the family and the age of the kids. Ours have "grown into" using different words as they have gotten older. Our ds used to say "that's idiot" at age 3 instead of that's stupid, usually out of frustration. Dh and I use a few milder choice words and don't watch what we say as closely as we did when they were elementary age and younger.

Our kids have heard there uncle say the f word, but know dh and I choose not to.

Also, our occupations are not like others where much more colorful words are used.

We also want them to know that others can use language that we don't and that's ok. There are situations where it's acceptable and not.

 

[turkeymama]

I agree with many of the others. "Stupid" is not a bad word. Neither is "sucks". Sometimes, the layout of a parking lot or the short duration of a green light is stupid. I see nothing wrong with saying so. And I agree that sometimes, homework sucks and sometimes it even seems stupid. What we will not tolerate are popular slang phrases and words that are demeaning to groups of people (i.e. "that's gay" or "that's ********" or any other racial slur). We might say many things that are considered inappropriate by conventional standards, but we will not demean or put down people with our words. At least, that's the standard we try very hard to live by and teach.

 

[superme80]

We don't have a list of words they can't use. DH and I try really hard not swear in front of them, so they don't know those words. As they get older we will discuss appropriateness of words. I am not ok with any kind of slur in my house.

 

[dawnhaze]

I grew up in a house where "sucks" and "stupid" and "shut up" were banned words... Now that I'm an adult, my parents swear like sailors. I'll never understand.

 

[ten6mom]

We are reading Harry Potter aloud before bed and I always "warn" them I am going to say a bad word. They think it is hilarious to hear Mommy swear.

 

[cobright]

Americans swear way too much. When did **** become an adjective? Repulsive.

Americans are so puritanical most of the time. Any european nation has us beat for foul language.

 

[kimblebee]

Americans are so puritanical most of the time. Any european nation has us beat for foul language.

I have to agree with this. After Chicago won the Stanley Cup, our CBC tv station showed close ups of all the players taking their turn skating with the Cup. There were lots of **** broadcast live. There were no complaints, no CRTC investigations and there won't be a time delay next year.

 

[NFLDERS]

I grew up in a house where "sucks" and "stupid" and "shut up" were banned words... Now that I'm an adult, my parents swear like sailors. I'll never understand.

Happens with getting olderrr sometimes. I had an Aunt raised with 11 siblings, (My mom) included, in a very strict Victorian era. Late 1800's Newfoundland, Canada. Which was like 100 yrs behind the times!

When she got older, she could tell jokes that would, make a sailor blush! All the family wondered, where on earth she heard or read them!!


Today, is our second to last Civic holiday of the summer. Best wishes to my fellow Canucks!

 

[ILUVALASKA]

I have to agree with this. After Chicago won the Stanley Cup, our CBC tv station showed close ups of all the players taking their turn skating with the Cup. There were lots of **** broadcast live. There were no complaints, no CRTC investigations and there won't be a time delay next year.

Therein lies the problem. A person who finds repulsive swear words offensive is not puritanical. THey tend to have, dare I say it, a tad more class than those who spew certain foul words ten times in one sentence. We have become complacent to boorish behavior. I recently spent one month in Africa. The locals there do not swear and looked shocked when one of my students did so. Not every country swears like Americans do.

 

[Lady V]

In my house the rule is if you can't say it in front of child in K then you shouldn't be saying it at all. My kids have told me they are the only ones not allowed to say certain words but my children get my rules!

 

[cobright]

Therein lies the problem. A person who finds repulsive swear words offensive is not puritanical. THey tend to have, dare I say it, a tad more class [...]I recently spent one month in Africa. The locals there do not swear and looked shocked when one of my students did so. Not every country swears like Americans do.

I try not to strive for more class than the likes of Mark Twain, Earnest Hemingway, Professor Radcliffe Emerson (AKA "Father of Curses"), John Wilmot, Dick Cavett, John Ruskin (Who is not Teddy Ruxpin's father), George Bernard Shaw, and John Maynard Keynes. Many of them not modern, not American, and (dare I say) certainly not boorish.

I'm certain there are many notable figures of impeccable class and style who eschew bawdy language. I posit that they would still be just as classy if they did not.

But if an occasionally libertine sense of vocabulary is what holds me back from ever higher levels of esteem in the eyes of others then so be it; lest, as Icarus, on the gilded wings of pride I should fly too close to the sun.

As an aside, the locals in that African village may have been shocked that they heard ~your people~ swear, but nothing your group could say would shock their sensibilities. Whether their native tongue is Swahili or Afrikaans ar ANY of the sub-saharan tribal languages, the ALL have and use some of the filthiest swear words you could imagine. It is common for children and grandparents alike to use vulgarisms that would make Trump's toupe fall off.

Edited to remove an arabic word that contains an English profanity. That one was pure coincidence, I'm doing my best to keep the filter happy.

 

[NFLDERS]

I try not to strive for more class than the likes of Mark Twain, Earnest Hemingway, Professor Radcliffe Emerson (AKA "Father of Curses"), John Wilmot, Dick Cavett, John Ruskin (Who is not Teddy Ruxpin's father), George Bernard Shaw, and John Maynard Keynes. Many of them not modern, not American, and (dare I say) certainly not boorish.

I'm certain there are many notable figures of impeccable class and style who eschew bawdy language. I posit that they would still be just as classy if they did not.

But if an occasionally libertine sense of vocabulary is what holds me back from ever higher levels of esteem in the eyes of others then so be it; lest, as Icarus, on the gilded wings of pride I should fly too close to the sun.

As an aside, the locals in that African village may have been shocked that they heard ~your people~ swear, but nothing your group could say would shock their sensibilities. Whether their native tongue is Swahili or Afrikaans ar ANY of the sub-saharan tribal languages, the ALL have and use some of the filthiest swear words you could imagine. It is common for children and grandparents alike to use vulgarisms that would make Trump's toupe fall off.

Edited to remove an arabic word that contains an English profanity. That one was pure coincidence, I'm doing my best to keep the filter happy.

Enjoyable read! Thank you.

 

[krcit]

Happens with getting olderrr sometimes. I had an Aunt raised with 11 siblings, (My mom) included, in a very strict Victorian era. Late 1800's Newfoundland, Canada. Which was like 100 yrs behind the times!

When she got older, she could tell jokes that would, make a sailor blush! All the family wondered, where on earth she heard or read them!!


Today, is our second to last Civic holiday of the summer. Best wishes to my fellow Canucks!

Both of my dad's parents were born in Newfoundland. I say I'm 1/2 Newfie and my kids say that I'm Canadian

 

[cobright]

Enjoyable read! Thank you.

The allusions to Greek morality theater ... Too much? Keynes would turn in his grave to be lumped in with the infamous 2nd earl of Rochester but what a fun party that group would make.

Point being, when you close your mind to someone just because they speak in a way you don't approve of, you eventually limit yourself to only the ideas of people who think like you do. Surely a tragedy on par with cutting ones own throat.

Consider 14th century Japanese, regarded as savages by the jesuit missionaries, yet they found those religious zealots barbaric for refusing to bathe regularly. Their language was called the devils tongue by a culture who would rather not hear what they had to say.

From this I learned to thank those who offend me. They have given me something new to learn.

 

[NFLDERS]

Both of my dad's parents were born in Newfoundland. I say I'm 1/2 Newfie and my kids say that I'm Canadian

Same here! Both my parents, born and raised on the Rock, before Confederation. I was born in New Brunswick. My DB (oldest) in Nova Scotia, younger DB in Ontario. Three kids on the way, in pursuit of permanent employment.

We three kids, Olderrr now, live here in Ontario.

 

[NFLDERS]

Enjoyable read! Thank you.

Again, enjoyed! I have to remember some of your posts, when DGSon is older though, he's only 6 1/2 now, I'd loose him in these explanations.

I did it yet again yesterday (swears). These remember are on his School's list. So, I said Geesh!

OMGoodness, Dam(n), Stupid(silly-inanimate object), now GEESH!

Will have to start showing him different spelling, different meaning; Sentence Context!

Albiet for now, he is going to have to find, a lot of FORGIVENESS for, DGRAM!.

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

I would rather hear my children say some "minor" cuss words (yes, that is what we call them), than hear them use hurtful words like stupid, retard, hate, idiot, etc.