Surprising kids

[Freesia123]

Just wondering why people surprise their kids (not a criticism I just don't understand) isn't the planning and anticipation half of the fun?

 

[sweethannah]

I felt the same way, especially for our first trip(s). We want to go for a 3rd time and this time I think we will surprise her.

 

[larina]

I think it depends on the child. We surprised my now 10 year old when she was 8 and it was very bad. She was mad she hadn't been included in the planning and that everyone (my parents, her dad and I and her older sister) knew but her. The surprise turned to shock (there were other factors at play as well) and she ended up very sick. I'll never do it that way again.

We have not told my almost 5 year old son that we are going for Christmas this year, but we talk about our next trip to DL in generic terms all the time and he has said he would like to go for Christmas. We will tell him when it is closer, but he has ZERO patience and if we tell him he will ask hourly how long until the trip. I can't bare the thought.

 

[Tgl2011]

We let the kids plan our last trip and we loved it, this time I wanted a surprise, but they like planning so much that we told the, we are going in November, and we are actually going in September, so they get both the planning and a surprise!

 

[ceezers]

We have 4 kids and I can not endure the how many more days etc x4!!! We are leaving for Seattle and flying to LAX tomorrow and our kids have no idea!!

 

[stitchy626]

For me it's because of my job. I have had too many vacations cancelled or postponed and hated telling my DD that the trip was off when she was younger. It became much easier to suprise her once I knew for absolute certainty that the trip was on. This worked very well up until she was 10. From there on she gets it and now we plan together and then re-plan sometimes if we have to. Keeping my fingers crossed we will be there in less than 3 weeks

 

[sage210]

I don't know about anyone else, but here's why I'm choosing to surprise my daughter (in no particular order)

1. She loves surprises and seems to prefer spontaneaity over planning. She's the kind of kid that takes the unknown grab bag over a known toy she's been wanting almost every time.

2. She knows enough about Disney that she could pick a few favorite rides with no planning at all. She's seen ads on the Disney channel and knows what characters she likes and have seen info I got when I went to a conference at Disneyland. I'm pretty sure she has a mental gameplan prepared just in case anyone would ever ask her to go.

3. Honestly and selfishly, it's also because I love those videos on youtube where the kids can't believe they're going to Disneyland/world. I want that moment for my kid. My parents surprised me with a Disney trip when I was her age and I still remember the sheer elation when I found out. I want to be on the other side of that now.

4. Also, because I don't want to ruin the fun. I hate to admit it, but on rare occasion I have used vacation as a bribe or threat. "If you clean your room, I'll let you choose which ride we go on first..." "If you don't sit down and eat your peas, maybe we WON'T go CAMPING!" Not my best parenting moments, I'm sure. But it happens. As a surprise, it allows both of us to just have fun, and it lets me keep consistent rules and consequences without either of us abusing the looming special circumstances.

5. And probably the biggest reason, because my daughter is getting to the age where she is doubting the "magic." Last year she believed in Santa and the tooth fairy, but there are questions there now. I want to let her know that magic still exists, even if it comes from somewhere a little closer to home. And I want her to know that you can wake up thinking you're about to have a normal day, and life can surprise you with something unexpected and great. As a parent, I want her to seize the day and follow adventure, and I'm hoping this is a good start.

 

[kangamama]

You can have your kids in on the planning, yet still have the trip a surprise. We surprised my kids last Xmas. My youngest was 18 mos, so he would not have realized what was going on, but my oldest had just turned 5. We had never been, and we wanted the trip to be the big Xmas present. In the months reading up to the trip, we watched you tube videos of rides together, pours over DLR maps, talked about all the thing he had heard about at DLR, stuff like that. So by the time the surprise came, we knew what he wanted to do when we got there, and had planned each day with his wishes in mind. Win win!

 

[Phoenixrising]

For us it's a necessity, as my DS10 has anxiety issues, and hates major change. On our first trip to DL in 2009 I told him 15 months in advance and he stressed out the entire time about the trip. I do learn from my mistakes and in 2011 we surprised the kidlettes with a 2 week driving trip to DL. Afterwards my DS10 told me that it took alot of the stress out of the trip, and told me that he doesn't want to know if I'm planning a trip. By surprising him, he can really enjoy the trip more, than if I told him from the moment I booked and started planning it. I do rather enjoy plotting against my kids, and seeing if I can plan a trip without them clueing in as to what mayhem I creating behind their backs (insert evil laugh!). It depends on the child and how they react to change. My kids love the surprise aspect of trips, and they know that whatever we plan will be in their best interests. It works for us, but may not work for others.

 

[sherilaine]

I have wondered this as well and I would like to hear from those who did wait till the very last minute to tell their kids and if they got the reaction they had expected.

If we waited till the last minute our kids would not be happy about it - they would want to know well in advance, especially if they are missing some time from school. They want to prepare, be able to talk about it at school with their friends, the anticipation is a very valuable part of the experience for them.

Now, we also have to fly 3 hours to get to DLR - if we lived within even a 10 hour drive that might make a surprise possible - but that is not the case so no point thinking about it...

 

[gemini2727]

We let the kids plan our last trip and we loved it, this time I wanted a surprise, but they like planning so much that we told the, we are going in November, and we are actually going in September, so they get both the planning and a surprise!

Love this! Best of both worlds!

 

[Pesky]

Planning and anticipation is half the fun. BUT I have small children. They aren't going to be able to help much in planning other than to say they want to see this character or go on what ride first, which I have already been able to figure out without letting on that we are going to DLR. Instead we'd be dealing with the excitement of the future event overwhelming the present events. I want them to be able to enjoy Knott's the day before we go to DLR, enjoy the trip to LA, enjoy the excitement of flying to Oma and Opa's and enjoy their school activities. So for those reasons, this trip is a surprise. Next trip will not be as much of a surprise except to say we are going and they will be older and able to help plan the activities.

 

[lalasmama]

I surprised my daughter for her first Disneyland trip for her 8th birthday. Well, it was *kind* of a surprise. She knew we were going, but thought we were going when she was 9yo, not 8yo. I actually asked her all kinds of things about planning, and she just thought it was for a trip in a year, LOL.

Why did I do a surprise? Several reasons... She's an anxious child, so knowing about something weeks, months from the actual date gives her time to think about all the "what if's". It cut down on the "is it time yet?" It allowed us to have conversations about things other than Disneyland, LOL, because DD tends to obsess about one subject for ages...

 

[messybug]

I love surprises. And surprising the kids will be awesome. We will be revealing the surprise at the 100 day mark. It'll be the best of both worlds.