sure wish parents would watch their kids

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Like you said there are things in life you just don't want advice from people that haven't been there...like your relationship with your mom.

A gentle correction here I said the opposite. I said I would want it. I said I appreciate it when my husband who had a good relationship with his parents talks to me. I have an experience that he can't relate to but yet he has a different perspective he can offer me. It's a constant feedback over more than 15 years with him, me exchanging information, him exchanging information and us both learning things.

Advice from people who steadfastly hold onto ideals that a parent and child(ren) can't have a toxic relationship and make that known are the ones that I bristle at because they have an unwillingness to see when the world isn't roses. I compared that to some people who don't have children who make way out there statement (such as kids shouldn't laugh at a theme park where there are tons of kids also around) because those are so far out there. I don't even know if the OP has kids or not TBH

Natural of course to bond and have comraderies with like people (in this case kids the same age as yours and/or with similar issues) but completely discounting or ignoring someone who doesn't fit into that is a rather limited place to find yourself in.

In any case I'm off to bed and will just leave it at that. I appreciate the conversation and I do understand where you were trying to come from.

 

[LSUmiss]

I agree we've gone off the deep end. When I need parenting advice I seek out people that have kids the same age or have kids with similar issues as my kids. I think that's normal. Like you said there are things in life you just don't want advice from people that haven't been there...like your relationship with your mom.

I realize that people that don't have kids worry about other people. I didn't mean it like that.

I just meant when you have kids you have to worry about them "hopefully" until they day you die. Unlike my parents who I worried about until the day they died. It's a lifetime worry from an early age in life... that's if your a parent who cares.

There are some people that have bad parents and turn out great, and there are kids who have great parent's that turn out bad. It's funny how that works.... so there has to be a lot more to how you turn out than just your parents.

But she didn’t give parenting advice (that I saw). She sited evidenced-based empirical data done by a respected body. And I do have a kid & can relate & understand it can be very frustrating to find effective ways to discipline children.

 

[PollyannaMom]

However I will say it's sorta a shame to say you'd disregard someone's opinion. Disagree with them? Oh sure that is totally fair, but to disregard them entirely? Sounds a lot like too much of an echo chamber to me.

...You don't have kids you don't know.

I think both of these things can be true.

Sure, someone who doesn't have kids might not understand the sleep deprivation of those first months, but I wanted advice from someone who had a clear head and was thinking logically right then!

As a parent, I learned both from people who'd "been there" and from people who had reasoned through the information and came up with good ideas to try.

Sometimes what you want is to commiserate with someone who completely understands how you are felling and what your limitations are in that situation, and sometimes a fresh outside perspective is exactly what you need.

I think it's really important to at least listen to everyone on a thread like this.

 

[White Cat]

I think both of these things can be true.

Sure, someone who doesn't have kids might not understand the sleep deprivation of those first months, but I wanted advice from someone who had a clear head and was thinking logically right then!

As a parent, I learned both from people who'd "been there" and from people who had reasoned through the information and came up with good ideas to try.

Sometimes what you want is to commiserate with someone who completely understands how you are felling and what your limitations are in that situation, and sometimes a fresh outside perspective is exactly what you need.

I think it's really important to at least listen to everyone on a thread like this.

That’s all nice. But in the end if a person hasn’t had children they just can’t know. Very long posts and some info looked up to support their view doesn’t change that.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Does anyone remember this? It always made me laugh, even before I had kids!
(Trigger warning: Not PC)

 

[tzolkin]

I was the perfect parent until I had kids. I don't think anyone that doesn't have kids can relate to the experience of raising a child. There's just no way. Not just the emotional stuff, but the financial stuff. Life is so much easier if all you have to do is worry about yourself.

I agree. Just like parents of toddlers can’t fully relate to the experience of raising teens/young adults with mental illness. People who have never cared for someone with ALS on their deathbed can’t fully understand the emotional toil. Some things have to be lived to experience the full depth.

However…Mackenzie and other childless people on this thread have never once said nor implied that they know exactly what it’s like to parent a child. I don’t see why that fact should disqualify them from having an opinion on a practice that they believe (and have researched) to be wrong.

There are plenty of things in the world that I believe are wrong or have opinions about that I have never done myself. I’m fairly certain everyone on this thread is in agreement that it’s wrong to beat a child, yet no one is asking them what experience they have with beating a child. It’s just understood that you can know that’s wrong without having done it yourself (or having it done to you).

 

[dvcgirl67]

There are plenty of things in the world that I believe are wrong or have opinions about that I have never done myself. I’m fairly certain everyone on this thread is in agreement that it’s wrong to beat a child, yet no one is asking them what experience they have with beating a child. It’s just understood that you can know that’s wrong without having done it yourself (or having it done to you).

Waiting for one or two posters to respond..."right, but they could never understand that it's wrong to beat a child...because they don't have children."

 

[DCLMP]

I agree. Just like parents of toddlers can’t fully relate to the experience of raising teens/young adults with mental illness. People who have never cared for someone with ALS on their deathbed can’t fully understand the emotional toil. Some things have to be lived to experience the full depth.

However…Mackenzie and other childless people on this thread have never once said nor implied that they know exactly what it’s like to parent a child. I don’t see why that fact should disqualify them from having an opinion on a practice that they believe (and have researched) to be wrong.

There are plenty of things in the world that I believe are wrong or have opinions about that I have never done myself. I’m fairly certain everyone on this thread is in agreement that it’s wrong to beat a child, yet no one is asking them what experience they have with beating a child. It’s just understood that you can know that’s wrong without having done it yourself (or having it done to you).

When did the thread become about child abuse. LOL.

 

[john7994]

When did the thread become about child abuse. LOL.

When did it become about the expertise only imparted between the special bond between kids and parents? Kind of the question I asked yesterday ...

 

[dvcgirl67]

When did the thread become about child abuse. LOL.

When Jimmy Mouse brought up his dismay that ...in his opinion.....the problem with society today is that parents can no longer use corporal punishment as a tool in raising children....that children sometimes need their "butts whooped".

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

That’s all nice. But in the end if a person hasn’t had children they just can’t know. Very long posts and some info looked up to support their view doesn’t change that.

I'm pretty sure you don't need to have kids to know that hitting a child is wrong.

 

[White Cat]

I'm pretty sure you don't need to have kids to know that hitting a child is wrong.

I think most would agree that hitting someone is wrong. But I also think you know what I was really trying to convey.

 

[White Cat]

Waiting for one or two posters to respond..."right, but they could never understand that it's wrong to beat a child...because they don't have children."

Really? I think your stretching things some.

 

[DCLMP]

Waiting for one or two posters to respond..."right, but they could never understand that it's wrong to beat a child...because they don't have children."

.....and you say I'm hyperbolic.

 

[Dznypal]

OP. As someone stated above this thread was about too young of kids sitting by themselves getting into things such as rough housing and bothering others and parents thinking it’s cute or funny. Wouldn’t hVe been so funny if one would have fallen on floor and getting hurt. regardless if the bus is crowed or not. This was about safety of the kids and others not parenting skills or abuse.

 

[Southernmiss]

OP. As someone stated above this thread was about too young of kids sitting by themselves getting into things such as rough housing and bothering others and parents thinking it’s cute or funny. Wouldn’t hVe been so funny if one would have fallen on floor and getting hurt. regardless if the bus is crowed or not. This was about safety of the kids and others not parenting skills or abuse.

The title of the thread 'sure wish parents would watch their kids' and everything in your opening post makes it a parenting skills thread.

 

[White Cat]

OP. As someone stated above this thread was about too young of kids sitting by themselves getting into things such as rough housing and bothering others and parents thinking it’s cute or funny. Wouldn’t hVe been so funny if one would have fallen on floor and getting hurt. regardless if the bus is crowed or not. This was about safety of the kids and others not parenting skills or abuse.

Probably would have sued.

 

[sam_gordon]

This was about safety of the kids and others not parenting skills or abuse.

Into the wayback machine we go...

it just annoys me how parents just let their kids run wild

 

[luvnwdwgal]

OP. As someone stated above this thread was about too young of kids sitting by themselves getting into things such as rough housing and bothering others and parents thinking it’s cute or funny. Wouldn’t hVe been so funny if one would have fallen on floor and getting hurt. regardless if the bus is crowed or not. This was about safety of the kids and others not parenting skills or abuse.

 

[dvcgirl67]

The title of the thread 'sure wish parents would watch their kids' and everything in your opening post makes it a parenting skills thread.

Yeah...I think once we get to..."sure wish we could hit our kids without fear of prosecution" surfaces, we're into parenting skills....lol! Insane.