sure wish parents would watch their kids

[dvcgirl67]

.....and you say I'm hyperbolic.

There have been a couple of posters who have stated a couple of times that people without children can't possibly understand what it's like to raise/discipline a child. It's not hyperbolic to expect them to do so again.

Mr. Mouse stated that he's disappointed that as a society....that he can no longer enforce corporal punishment on his kids because he fears prosecution. He started with..."I know I am about to get bashed for this but here it goes". I would call *that* a hyperbolic statement. And so Mr. M is hearing what people think...which is what he expected I suppose. Then he continued to bait another poster....seemingly trying to get her to admit she doesn't have kids. Which would somehow make him feel that he won the argument that he should be able to hit his kids....because he has procreated....and she hasn't? Honestly, it's one of the craziest threads I've seen here in some time.

Kids don't need "their butts whooped sometimes". They don't ever "need" that. Sure, many of us here have endured some form of spanking, paddling...etc as kids. We're not "better for it".....we endured it because our parents didn't have the tools or education to do better. That doesn't mean our parents were bad people, but I know my own Mother winces at the thought of her younger self and the occasional use of the "wooden spoon" in my house when we were little kids...because that's what her Mother did to her. Her two daughters who do have children....do not physically discipline their children (her grandchildren)...so, in my family at least, we've improved in this department.

The goal is to evolve as human beings...we get smarter, and hopefully we do better. This is why newborns aren't placed in the backseat of the station wagon in a basket as I was 55 years ago. Now, they're strapped in like they're about to embark on a mission to Mars....because we have learned....and adjusted.

And I don't need to have children to know that I wouldn't hit them. I have had six dogs in my adult life....have three right now, and I've never once hit any of my dogs.

 

[Lilsia]

we were at WDW last week-- we were on the bus coming back from disney springs on the 27th when a family got on two kids a boy and girl around 4 for the girl and 5 or so for the boy

they run to the very back of the bus sitting on the sideways seat while the parents? sit below by the back door--these kids were all over wrestling on the seats

looked over once the the boy was literly on top of the girl--that did not look good wonder where they saw this from--the dad is sitting in his seat laughing at the whole thing

never once did mom or dad try to control there kids--they also had a baby whom Im surprised they didnt have the other watch the baby--

wonder what they would have done if one of the kids feel and got hurt Im sure they would have tried to blame disney--

it just annoys me how parents just let their kids run wild

just a vent--thanks for listening

I honestly believe that there are some parents that truly do not give a crap about their kids. It makes you wonder why they had any. We see dangerous things that parents let their little kids do and wonder if they love their kids at all.

 

[Nora03]

I haven’t read this whole long thread, but my concern would be safety for the children. A few years ago we were staying at Wilderness Lodge and took the boat over to the Magic Kingdom. As the boat filled up with people a family with three or four young children boarded and sat in the front of the boat. However one of their children, a young boy, didn’t sit. He constantly moved around the boat, although announcements were made that everyone was required to remain seated. The parents completely ignored him. Didn’t look his way at all. When the boat arrived at the dock a staff person put down the gangplank and he was the first to lunge for it. He almost fell off the boat and there was a collective gasp as someone (not his parents) caught him before he fell into the water. He was probably a handful but couldn’t help but worry about him.

 

[White Cat]

There have been a couple of posters who have stated a couple of times that people without children can't possibly understand what it's like to raise/discipline a child. It's not hyperbolic to expect them to do so again.

Mr. Mouse stated that he's disappointed that as a society....that he can no longer enforce corporal punishment on his kids because he fears prosecution. He started with..."I know I am about to get bashed for this but here it goes". I would call *that* a hyperbolic statement. And so Mr. M is hearing what people think...which is what he expected I suppose. Then he continued to bait another poster....seemingly trying to get her to admit she doesn't have kids. Which would somehow make him feel that he won the argument that he should be able to hit his kids....because he has procreated....and she hasn't? Honestly, it's one of the craziest threads I've seen here in some time.

Kids don't need "their butts whooped sometimes". They don't ever "need" that. Sure, many of us here have endured some form of spanking, paddling...etc as kids. We're not "better for it".....we endured it because our parents didn't have the tools or education to do better. That doesn't mean our parents were bad people, but I know my own Mother winces at the thought of her younger self and the occasional use of the "wooden spoon" in my house when we were little kids...because that's what her Mother did to her. Her two daughters who do have children....do not physically discipline their children (her grandchildren)...so, in my family at least, we've improved in this department.

The goal is to evolve as human beings...we get smarter, and hopefully we do better. This is why newborns aren't placed in the backseat of the station wagon in a basket as I was 55 years ago. Now, they're strapped in like they're about to embark on a mission to Mars....because we have learned....and adjusted.

And I don't need to have children to know that I wouldn't hit them. I have had six dogs in my adult life....have three right now, and I've never once hit any of my dogs.

People wth out children often bring up that they have pets and try to equate it to raising children. You can’t. It was just a matter of time for this ti be brought up.

 

[piccolopat]

I think most would agree that hitting someone is wrong. But I also think you know what I was really trying to convey.

Beating a child is certainly wrong but sometimes lightly hitting a child can be a good tool. Let me explain. When DD was very young, we had a system where if she did something wrong and came to me she got one swat on the tush. If I had to get up she got two. The swat was barely a swat but enough to get her attention so we could then sit together, discuss what she did wrong and what I expected of her going forward. The one or two swat system was intended to get her to take responsibility for her actions even at her young age, and to understand there were consequences if she didn't. It was effective and worked for our family. Good lessons for all kids even if you don't agree with the method I chose to use.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

So is your child able to hit you to get your attention? Twice if they had to get up to do it?

Are you okay with their partner in the future using this method on them?

It's not a good tool. It teaches them hitting is okay in domestic circumstances. "It's okay mom, he just did it to get my attention so I could understand the consequences of my actions."

Like seriously would you accept that response from anyone?

 

[john7994]

People wth out children often bring up that they have pets and try to equate it to raising children. You can’t. It was just a matter of time for this ti be brought up.

So you are advocating both dogs and children should be hit as a form of discipline?

 

[DCLMP]

There have been a couple of posters who have stated a couple of times that people without children can't possibly understand what it's like to raise/discipline a child. It's not hyperbolic to expect them to do so again.

Mr. Mouse stated that he's disappointed that as a society....that he can no longer enforce corporal punishment on his kids because he fears prosecution. He started with..."I know I am about to get bashed for this but here it goes". I would call *that* a hyperbolic statement. And so Mr. M is hearing what people think...which is what he expected I suppose. Then he continued to bait another poster....seemingly trying to get her to admit she doesn't have kids. Which would somehow make him feel that he won the argument that he should be able to hit his kids....because he has procreated....and she hasn't? Honestly, it's one of the craziest threads I've seen here in some time.

Kids don't need "their butts whooped sometimes". They don't ever "need" that. Sure, many of us here have endured some form of spanking, paddling...etc as kids. We're not "better for it".....we endured it because our parents didn't have the tools or education to do better. That doesn't mean our parents were bad people, but I know my own Mother winces at the thought of her younger self and the occasional use of the "wooden spoon" in my house when we were little kids...because that's what her Mother did to her. Her two daughters who do have children....do not physically discipline their children (her grandchildren)...so, in my family at least, we've improved in this department.

The goal is to evolve as human beings...we get smarter, and hopefully we do better. This is why newborns aren't placed in the backseat of the station wagon in a basket as I was 55 years ago. Now, they're strapped in like they're about to embark on a mission to Mars....because we have learned....and adjusted.

And I don't need to have children to know that I wouldn't hit them. I have had six dogs in my adult life....have three right now, and I've never once hit any of my dogs.

The term “beat” is weird chose of words. I have two dogs. I would not equate them to children.

 

[DCLMP]

So is your child able to hit you to get your attention? Twice if they had to get up to do it?

Are you okay with their partner in the future using this method on them?

It's not a good tool. It teaches them hitting is okay in domestic circumstances. "It's okay mom, he just did it to get my attention so I could understand the consequences of my actions."

Like seriously would you accept that response from anyone?

Kids will do a lot worse than that to get attention.

 

[john7994]

The term “beat” is weird chose of words. I have two dogs. I would not equate them to children.

Are there "words" that work better for you - and FWIW I don't think the poster was suggesting dogs and children were the "same" - I took their statement as only having experience with dogs - they still do not employ forceful physical contact as a means for discipline - oh hey - is that a less weird phrase we can use?

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

The term “beat” is weird chose of words. I have two dogs. I would not equate them to children.

Good lord....she didn't equate them to children. She said she knows she would never hit her children because she wouldn't even hit a dog and she's had 6.

 

[sam_gordon]

Are you okay with their partner in the future using this method on them?

I'm pretty sure there ARE "partners" that get 'hit' regularly (and willingly).

 

[sam_gordon]

So is your child able to hit you to get your attention? Twice if they had to get up to do it?

On a serious note, that's an invalid argument IMO. The relationship from a child to a parent is different than the relationship from a parent to a child.

Can/have you made your child do something they don't want to do (eat something they didn't like, clean their room, door their homework)? I'd be surprised if you haven't.
Can your child make YOU do something you don't want to do (take them to the park, give them ice cream)? Why not?

 

[trompettecon]

Oh yeah. I’ve seen parents like that before. Totally clueless! They were probably both raised by parents who didn’t pay any attention to them either. Manners and morals don’t even exist anymore for a big part of the younger generation. That’s a big part of what’s wrong with our country.

Right up there with the proliferation of gun ownership.

 

[DCLMP]

Are there "words" that work better for you - and FWIW I don't think the poster was suggesting dogs and children were the "same" - I took their statement as only having experience with dogs - they still do not employ forceful physical contact as a means for discipline - oh hey - is that a less weird phrase we can use?

When I see a parent swat their kid on the butt the term beat and child abuse don’t pop into my head. It doesn’t really matter if I agree or disagree with their parenting it’s not a beating. A leash is forceful physical contact. Its a silly comparison.

 

[john7994]

When I see a parent swat their kid on the butt the term beat and child abuse don’t pop into my head. It doesn’t really matter if I agree or disagree with their parenting it’s not a beating. A leash is forceful physical contact. Its a silly comparison.

You raise an interesting point, not sure how I feel about leashes on kids - i get the utility of them and all. It does feel like we are getting into semantics a bit with swatting versus beating versus gradients of forceful physical contact

 

[sam_gordon]

Right up there with the proliferation of gun ownership.

Really? You want to bring up a topic that's all but banned on the boards?

 

[luvnwdwgal]

Right up there with the proliferation of gun ownership.

This thread has already gone in numerous directions. Please don’t start another one.

 

[dvcgirl67]

The term “beat” is weird chose of words. I have two dogs. I would not equate them to children.

I said "hit", not "beat"....maybe another poster did. And I'm not saying that dogs are the same as children....but I'm saying that this....if someone applies "corporal punishment" to their kids....you can sure as hell bet they are hitting their pets. I love my dogs very much, but they are not children.....but they also do not deserve to be hit, smacked, pinched, swatted or otherwise. My dogs are well behaved, but as puppies or when younger...if they needed to be disciplined...just like with children, they get a "time out".

 

[piccolopat]

So is your child able to hit you to get your attention? Twice if they had to get up to do it?

Are you okay with their partner in the future using this method on them?

It's not a good tool. It teaches them hitting is okay in domestic circumstances. "It's okay mom, he just did it to get my attention so I could understand the consequences of my actions."

Like seriously would you accept that response from anyone?

This was a method used on a toddler, the swat was barely a pat and was rarely needed. What did you do when your toddler was ignoring you and doing something wrong? I didn't believe in yelling and screaming, something that others can construe as verbal abuse. Discussions on what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior continued as she grew up so she certainly understood that domestic abuse is never ok. She was well mannered at an early age. We have a great relationship even though we raised her to know we are her parents. Methods we use on children are not the same as how we treat our partners or other adults. For example, some might send their child to their room or take away TV privileges but I can't imagine anyone doing that to their spouse.