suicide...

[a paper star]

I suffer from Depression and I can have really bad bouts with it. There have been several times I have thought about suicide and ways to do it but I've never gone through with it. I do wonder what my family would do if it ever happened but there are times where I feel like I'm a burden and if I was gone nobody would have to worry about me. I mean it's not like I'm not wanted it's just that I don't really have a good relationship with a lot of my family. I am sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[coolbeans]

I suffer from Depression and I can have really bad bouts with it. There have been several times I have thought about suicide and ways to do it but I've never gone through with it. I do wonder what my family would do if it ever happened but there are times where I feel like I'm a burden and if I was gone nobody would have to worry about me. I mean it's not like I'm not wanted it's just that I don't really have a good relationship with a lot of my family. I am sorry to hear about your loss.

You aren't a burden, you are a Gift!!

 

[lajones81]

This is a subject that is very close to me and my heart.

Here is one of my favorite websites on mental health:
http://psychcentral.com/

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

 

[aprilgail2]

I was on a train today coming back from the city and all of a sudden the train stops and kills all power on the train- someone jumped in front of the train and killed themselves. Engineer couldn't stop the train fast enough- 6 train cars went over the person before the train stopped-it was a mess. The train crew was a wreck. Can't imagine what state of mind a person has to be in to jump in front of a train.

 

[Feralpeg]

I've known three different people who have committed suicide. Each time I asked myself why I didn't see it coming and do something to help them. I never found the answer. In two of the cases, there was nothing obvious going on in their lives that made any one suspect the possibility. The other young man had a lot of issues. While I did not expect it, I wasn't terribly surprised.

 

[Rebelmom67]

I was on a train today coming back from the city and all of a sudden the train stops and kills all power on the train- someone jumped in front of the train and killed themselves. Engineer couldn't stop the train fast enough- 6 train cars went over the person before the train stopped-it was a mess. The train crew was a wreck. Can't imagine what state of mind a person has to be in to jump in front of a train.

I'm sorry you had to be a party to that. Please send my condolences to the train crew. I see that person as a selfish jerk, at least they could have carried out the deed themselves, rather than involving many innocent people that will NEVER forget this.

 

[alizesmom]

I am another "failed" suicide. Depression is something I have been fighting my whole life. It is a dark pit from which you see no release. The pain is astounding and you just want it to go away. I am glad I failed but will never forget crying out to God "I don't want to die but I can't do this anymore".

and to answer something you wondered about, like me, I'll bet your friend was very good at acting like all was well with the world

 

[Sparx]

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

 

[Kycha]

We were staying at a local hotel in June while having work done at our house. One of the guests committed suicide. I feel horrible for his family and also for the housekeepers who found his body(it had been a couple days). Unfortunately, with people losing their jobs and their homes and much more these days there will be a significant increase in the number of suicides.

My family's reunion was on July 4th. It was announced at the reunion that my second cousin had died the night before, leaving behind a wife and 3 young children(under 10). Turns out it was suicide. He worked for GM and had lost his job and was on the verge of losing his home. It's really tragic.

 

[ginna74]

I friend of mine in the navy commited suicide and for a long time I thought it was my fault (although my heart still sometimes think it is). It took years to really realize that it wasn't, but I still have times where I think about him and wonder what I could have done to help him.


I am bipolar and I have really struggled with suicide.... I think about it a lot but it is in check,It is like a monster that is always there and as long as I am taking my meds the monster is tamed but the minute I don't take them right it comes out and watch out!!

 

[portocall]

There are some things that we never find the answer to... suicide (even with notes) is just one of those things. Usually all the signs are there, just nobody noticed them at the time as the person always did that or they came gradually. If it makes you feel better, I would reach out in a small way. (send a card, donation, flowers, meal)

 

[Planogirl]

This is a nice thread about a difficult subject.

I feel for those who are driven to suicide. I've dealt with depression but I've never gotten to where I'd seriously consider suicide. Depression was like a dark cloud without exit to me. I can't imagine how dark everything seems when a person is suicidal.

 

[WDWBarb]

My dear friend's mother commited suicide when she was just 5 years old. DF has tried her whole life to find answers, even when she knew she'd never find a reason that she could ever relate to.

She's trying to turn the entire experience into a way to help others who have suffered the same kind of loss. I just admire her so much!

One of my best friends from high school took his own life a few years ago. It really knocked me off my feet. I hadn't seen him in many, many years and I experienced the guilt of "what if I had tried harder to stay in touch." In fact, I was at work when my mother called to tell me and when I went home that night my computer was still showing the Google search where I had tried to find him just the night before. I couldn't find him on Google and I gave up too easily.

For those of you who have been touched by suicide ..

 

[dicar123]

Can you imagine being that man's wife? Diagnosed with cancer and then lose your husband to suicide?

Boy, life is hard sometimes.

 

[bumbershoot]

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

Before I knew him, my husband attempted suicide. It would have worked, except the gun misfired. So he's one of the few who seriously really completely meant it, went for it, but came out of it.

He says that before that misfire, he was just in a deep hole. He had gained some serious weight (and he's a sumo wrestler bodied guy to begin with), his wife of 9 months had just sent him a "dear john" type of letter after moving to CA (from WA) to supposedly find them an apartment where he would meet her and they would start their new lives, just thing after thing.

He says that the idea of anyone missing him or loving him or caring at all about him being gone wasn't in his head. He felt worthless, so he thought he was. He felt that the world, and his friends and family, would be better off without him.

And when the gun misfired...it was like a switch was flipped. He realized that it was all just selfish nonsense in his head. He knew that people would miss him, and that he was loved (just not by his then wife). He got a civil annulment, he joined a gym and started working out, and so on and so forth.


So if he's anything to go by, this guy might not have been thinking of it being a tragedy for his family at all. Might have been thinking it would be helpful, IF he was thinking about them in any way...

 

[Sparx]

I was on a train today coming back from the city and all of a sudden the train stops and kills all power on the train- someone jumped in front of the train and killed themselves. Engineer couldn't stop the train fast enough- 6 train cars went over the person before the train stopped-it was a mess. The train crew was a wreck. Can't imagine what state of mind a person has to be in to jump in front of a train.

i'm so sorry you had to witness that.

 

[enchantingodin]

My hubs mom commited suicide. She had some medical issues that caused her to be in a lot of pain. No doctor could figure out what was wrong with her. After over a year of being in constant pain, and trying to deal with crazed 13 year old twin girls, AND a mom who was in the onset of aulstimers. She just kinda gave up. I could see it happening. I did try to get her to get some help - and I DID try to get my husband to see it. But it didn't matter. She ended up taking almost a full bottle of pain killers.

That was almost 7 years ago. Hubs went to consoling last year finally - although I know he still has a lot of pain about it. We had custody of the girls for about a year and a half until I had to finally put my foot down when they stole my engagement ring and pawned it. Now one of them is bouncing around in between friends houses after having a baby and then having the father "kidnap" it, and the other has kinda pulled herself together and is a new mother while being in the military. I don't think either of them have dealt with it at all.

My point is you can't help people who don't want to be helped. No matter how hard you try. And you also can't blame yourself when something like this happens. Like one of the PP said, they just want the pain to end. While I can rationalize it - it doesn't make it any easier. And I feel for anyone that has to go through it.

 

[bettyann29]

suicide is something that is also near to me..

My ex DH attempted suicide several times after we split up and just a year ago my DD17 also did.. it was the hardest thing Ive ever had to deal with.. Everyone says that there are always signs and that people just miss them. I can tell you first hand this is not true.. With my DD there were absolutely no signs..

I still to this day worry for her.. it brings tears to my eyes just whenever I still think about it.. I dont know what I would do without her and its just heartbreaking to think that she would even feel that life would be better without her..