Suicide in the elderly

That's what I said! It doesn't define one's life, but it seems like a nasty ending for a life well lived. That's my whole point since it is sometimes in direct contrast to the proud, demure way life might have been lived and how much one contributed to others around them. Just seems like a humbling, undeserved way to exit.
Sorry I didn't mean to quote you.
 
Not only am I sorry for your loss, but also for everyone whether on these boards or not that deal with mental health crises. It is the worst.

No matter how "good" you have it. No matter how much you love your family and they love you. Sometimes the overwhelming desire overtakes you.

I've been hospitalized three times when I hit my lowest points. Mental health in this country sucks and I'd rather go to jail where they treat you better.

Well, now you know my story. :(

Eta: I that 5 meds to alleviate the stress and depression. But by the grace of God they work
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Not only am I sorry for your loss, but also for everyone whether on these boards or not that deal with mental health crises. It is the worst.

No matter how "good" you have it. No matter how much you love your family and they love you. Sometimes tge overwhelming desire overtakes you.

I've been hospitalized three times when I hit my lowest points. Mental health in this country sucks and I'd rather go to jail where they treat you better.

Well, now you know my story. :(
:hug: :hug: :hug:
 
That's what I said! It doesn't define one's life, but it seems like a nasty ending for a life well lived. That's my whole point since it is sometimes in direct contrast to the proud, demure way life might have been lived and how much one contributed to others around them. Just seems like a humbling, undeserved way to exit.

I think I understand what both you and TLSnell1981 are saying. Sometimes, one lives the best life and the ending is less than pleasant. Focusing on the essence of a person is obviously the goal when in the "end of life" phase, but it's not always an easy thing to do. After they pass, that's when that process begins in earnest. The photo albums come out, the stories are retold for the babillionth time....etc, and that's all necessary.

Watching my MIL's steady decline over the last couple of years hasn't been fun, but...we were able to keep her at home up until the last twelve weeks when it wasn't possible. That part was pretty awful in general, but even with aiding my FIL in making tough decisions, we banded together as a family and did what we know she would have wanted, and best supported my husband's father. And seeing that she has essentially lost of all her "faculties", made it at a little easier because we all knew she would not want to continue to live like that. If assisted suicide/euthanasia had been an option at that time....and she had signed off on it earlier in her life....we 1000% would have gone down that road.
 


It's tragic that not every state in this country allows people to choose the time of their own passing and go in a way that is safe, painless, and assisted.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Having seen two of my grandparents really decline before they passed, and having lost my dad to Alzheimer's, I can agree that I would like to be able to choose the point at which I opt out.
 
OP, comting to this thread late. I'm so very sorry. It's awful. Getting older can be awful and I feel like there's just not enough "community" for older people with health problems so they began to feel helpless, hopeless, and a burden even when we don't want them to feel that way.

My cousin witnessed a suicide of her elderly neighbor. 81 year old woman at home alone to care for her husband with demetia--she started with problems of her own (cancer). It all got to be too much and she hung herself from the underside of her deck. Can you imagine? She was just so overwhelmed with it all and her ability to handle the situation she just ended it.

I'm closely pushing 60 myself and what's in front of me sometimes is frightening and I try not to think about it. I've seen elderly relatives take a spiral and get worse in rehabs and nursing homes and be miserable.
 


The only person that I know that even thought about that was me. I could be her dad. I hate, hate, hate being dependant on anybody. Just last week at nearly 75 I bought out my car lease, now it won't be paid for until just before my 80th birthday, but lately I really don't think I will live that long nor am I sure that I want too. I totally understand the man's mind set, but I don't think I would ever kill myself because I care to much about my children and how they might feel, but I do understand the feeling of helplessness and desperation so I also know that you never know how you are going to act about situations until they show up.
I truly understand how you feel. My DH and I have no children to worry about. If he goes 1st this is my plan when the time comes.
 
I am sorry for your loss. I really think that more states should have the Death with Dignity laws or whatever they are called. Then people could talk about these choices and include their loved ones and be with them when it happens, rather than planning it in secret and leaving their families to wonder "what if" . I also believe that people think of suicide in a certain way, like it has a stigma attached to it, where people think there was something "wrong" and maybe it could have been fixed, which leaves families feeling guilty. And this particular circumstance is not one of those where anyone should feel guilty.

I say that for this reason. My dad died of cancer. He'd had several surgeries over the course of 6 years, starting when I was in 3rd grade. When it came back the last time, he decided he'd had enough. He'd done the surgeries, done radiation, all the things, and his quality of life was not as it should be. His cancer was in his mouth from chewing and smoking (this was early 90's and he was born in 39, so common for that age group). So because of that, the last surgery was pretty extensive, resulting in him needing a stomach tube to eat, and a trach. He was ready to be done. So he did Hospice and all the things and wanted to die at home, and had a plan. However one morning he woke up and didnt know who any of us were or why he had a stomach tube etc, and had to be taken to the hospital and put in a come until he passed. My mom wanted to follow his plan but was afraid she'd go to jail, and I was only 14 so she didn't. If those laws existed then, he could have passed how he wanted to.

The death of a parent is hard, no matter the circumstance or the method. My personal feelings is that your father had made a choice and went quickly. And even tho that choice might not be one you'd have chosen, it was one that ended the suffering quickly, rather than a drawn out illness. I think focusing on that part, rather than the method, may make it easier to cope with. I really am sorry for your loss, and I hope that once the initial grief wears off that you can find some solace.

I hope that in my lifetime we see right-to-die / death with dignity codified federally. I agree that it should be a person's choice when that person is of sound mind.
Anyone who's seen a loved one decline in a nursing home knows it's about the worst way to finish out one's life.
 
Thank you for all of the thoughts, prayers and the conversation. It’s been a struggle the last month and has made us think a lot about our wishes and concerns as we are getting older. My dad was an amazing person who not only helped anyone but focused on some good causes and took several of them to the Superior court, one going to the Supreme court. He was as honest as can be and always knew where he stood on issues. Miss you, dad 1X❤️
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!





Top