Just found this on another board. It really stuck me funny!

Dearest Cats:
Please note and observe the following changes around this household:
When I say move, it means go someplace else; not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain MY food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does NOT stake your claim, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me down the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they actually curl up in a ball!
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. I have been using the bathroom for years; feline attendance is NOT mandatory.
Finally: The proper order is kiss me first, THEN go smell the other cats' butts. I cannot stress this enough.
Sincerely,
Your Owner

Dearest Cats:
Please note and observe the following changes around this household:
When I say move, it means go someplace else; not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain MY food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does NOT stake your claim, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me down the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they actually curl up in a ball!
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. I have been using the bathroom for years; feline attendance is NOT mandatory.
Finally: The proper order is kiss me first, THEN go smell the other cats' butts. I cannot stress this enough.
Sincerely,
Your Owner

