Strongest evidence yet against spanking

[ozarkmom]

That's how I read these two posts.

I didn't say that no spanking means no discipline. I said I see more children that are not spanked or disciplined at all.

 

[Heidict]

Strongest evidence yet? You meant that sarcastically, right OP? It's a study of 2500 kids. My goodness, that is hardly a drop in the bucket. Heck, given a bit of time, I'm sure I could find loads of "studies" on how discipline is good for a kid and makes them a better person. This study, and most others., aren't worth the paper they were written on.

I love how the "I don't spank" crowd starts to sound all smug. If you spank then you must be some illiterate, uneducated, backwoods idiot who beats their child into submission. You do realize that people who spank are capable of control and rational thought, right?

I think a lot of people need to worry about cleaning up their own glass houses before they start throwing stones at others.

 

[Robinrs]

When the person delivering the physical punishment is over 5' tall and over 100 lbs with muscle and the child being hit is all of 25 lbs-80lbs, yep it's brut force. You are forcing your child into compliance with physical punishment and you are much bigger than they are. Imagine Shaquille O'neal comes to your house and says, "you are going to be hit by me about 5 times on the rear end because you did not pay your taxes on time.' The hitting has nothing to do with the crime and Shaq is so big that being hit by him-because he is soooo much bigger than we are - is very scary. Or-does your boss come to your office with a switch and swat your legs because you turned in the report late? Brut force.

I got spanked a few times. My mother grabbed me by my hair, dragged me to the ground and kicked me too. Neither gave me a real need or desire to do what I was told. It did not make me a good person. It did not improve my self worth nor make me feel loved or lovable.
Why would anyone hit a child?

That is NOT a spanking, that is ABUSE. And I am so sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[wvjules]

Strongest evidence yet? You meant that sarcastically, right OP? It's a study of 2500 kids. My goodness, that is hardly a drop in the bucket. Heck, given a bit of time, I'm sure I could find loads of "studies" on how discipline is good for a kid and makes them a better person. This study, and most others., aren't worth the paper they were written on.

I love how the "I don't spank" crowd starts to sound all smug. If you spank then you must be some illiterate, uneducated, backwoods idiot who beats their child into submission. You do realize that people who spank are capable of control and rational thought, right?

I think a lot of people need to worry about cleaning up their own glass houses before they start throwing stones at others.

That's actually how the headline read on the news website I saw; its not the OP's words.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

lol, that study missed the obvious, in my opinion. That would be the temperment of the child. It controlled many variables, but I don't see where it dealt with the concept that a child might have been spanked more because of their temperment.

Studies say what you want them to say, and what the grant money wants them to say.

 

[C.Ann]

I disagree.. And let's not forget, data/studies can be manipulated to show anything one wants it to show..

 

[Robinrs]

Checking on kindergartners without checking on the other aspects of their lives is bogus research. My son had a child in his class that beat on girls. He tried to stop him and he said "Mind your business"... not THAT is a learned trait. They were FOUR.

What they need to do is research on LOVED children in their 30s - 60s. Adults who adore and respect their parents and were SPANKED... not with abuse but as a deterrent to doing whatever they did again.

I was spanked THREE times in my life. All three times I was lectured, spanked, then hugged. I NEVER made the mistake that got me in that situation EVER again. My parents disciplined me with total and complete love, but they never tolerated disrespect or rule breaking.

I buried my parents after loving and taking care of them at the age of 46. THIS is a SUCCESS story. Bad behind acting kids in kindergarten is not research, it's an observation to prove an already decided point.

 

[Robinrs]

lol, that study missed the obvious, in my opinion. That would be the temperment of the child. It controlled many variables, but I don't see where it dealt with the concept that a child might have been spanked more because of their temperment.

Studies say what you want them to say, and what the grant money wants them to say.

Wow, GMTA!

 

[lovin diz]

This thread reminds me of the little girl i saw in the dollar store the other day...She was screaming, and running up and down the isles taking things off the shelf...All the mother would say is, "stop that, put that up.....if you dont stop...." the child didnt stop, for the whole 15 minutes in the store...when i got up there to check out the cashier said oh thank god they are out of here..

that little girl needed a spanking....Sometimes an adult has to be an adult...tell the child how to act...THe child doesnt need to run the show...

 

[princessmom29]

I do use spanking, but very infrequently. When DD was small (2-3) only when there is an immediate threat to safety, such as running into the street, touching a scoket, ect and I needed her to know immediately that it was unacceptable. Now that she is older, I only spank her when I have used other forms of discipline multiple times for the same offense. It generally gets her attention and stops the behavior. She usually recieves a warning and then some other form of punishment before I will spank her. It is really rare that i have to go that far. I have only had to spank her once this school year. I think that spanking a child out of anger or fustration is absoultely counterproductive. It teaches a child that it is ok to give in to that fustration and that hitting is an acceptable way to vent anger. I think it is totally different form a parent who is calm and reasoned and administering a spanking because a child has seriously stepped out of line even after other punishments.

 

[Anjelica]

Personally I don't care if you want to spank your kids or sit them down in a drum circle and talk about their feelings with them.

LOL - now there is the best sentence of the thread.

Reminds me of an episode of King of Queens where Carrie had to inform Doug that the "world was not made out of marshmallows and pets do die".

Next thread we will see on the CB will be about the studies that show how using Red Marker when grading childrens work/tests will leave life long emotional scars.

As a mother of two - I have raised both children the same way in terms of timeouts over spanking BUT have found that each child differs in terms of behavior change. One child has never been spanked while the other has gotten a few swats here and there for continually trying to put himself in VERY dangerous positions (i.e. running away in a parking lot, climbing on furniture, etc.). With my son the timeouts work some of the time but not all the time. Lets hope he doesn't turn around and become a derranged lunatic in the future.

Mark myself and two siblings as those who were spanked and turned out into contributing members of society. We are respectful and loving people. Guess we are the "exception" to the spanking rule.

 

[ilovejack02]

I haven't read all of the posts, LOL I can only imagine what has been said .


My experience with DS7, I did spank when he was younger, say up to age 4.

It just did NOT work and seemed to make his behavior worse.

Speaking to him about what he has done and using low tones instead of yelling works really well. Timeouts, the removal of all the things he loves works best with him.

My oldest DS21 is my stepson, we NEVER spanked him, his mother would have yelled abuse at the top of her lungs.. even though she was fine with spanking, using the belt was her method. We were very firm with him, also taking away things, time with friends etc, but so hard to keep that up when BIO mom has a different way of doing things.

She ruled with the belt when she felt like it, but was also VERY permissive with him too, spanked for the small stuff, but then the big stuff she let go.. who knows what she was thinking.

He didnt grow up to be a violent person, never in his life has he been like that.
I have friends that don't spank , but also don't use any real form of discipline, those are the kiddos that are growing to be the entitled brats of their generation. Divorce guilt has gripped several of my friends, no one wants to be the bad guy and honestly I don't think those kids stand a chance in life.

I think spanking prob does work with some kids, but I mean spanking, not lashing out in a fury everytime your kids looks at you wrong.

It just didn't work for us.

 

[Had2stopLurking]

What I find most humorous about this "study" is the fact that people believe it. As someone who deals with statistics on a daily basis, I could sit here and plug in information to SPSS that could prove a correlation between non spanking and on the "autism spectrum" just based on previous posts by people.

Does that make it more valid because I can show a graph correlating these two things?

Not that I agree or disagree with spanking as I feel it's up to the individual parent, but the "study" presented by the article is just as valid as the one I could plug into my computer to "prove" a certain stance on something. Heck, mine would be MORE valid based on the number of people that post on these boards so my N would be higher than 2500.

The thing people refuse to recognize is that correlation does not mean causation.

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

I don't care how other parents discipline thier children, I don't understand why some here care how I discipline mine.

I spank ocassionally, after other methods have failed. Never when angry. Its a "1.....2...., you'd better stop it...3" approach and the spank is after I'm calm and we talk about it first, then the spank, then hugs afterwards. My DD is so afraid of the spank - that she got A LOT of at 2- that I haven't had to spank her in months, she knows when I mean business.

Time outs didn't work for her at all, taking toys away didn't work for her at all. Now, at 4 I think she's too old for spanking really, since other things- like taking away the tv- would make a bigger impact with her.

 

[Anjelica]

What I find most humorous about this "study" is the fact that people believe it. As someone who deals with statistics on a daily basis, I could sit here and plug in information to SPSS that could prove a correlation between non spanking and on the "autism spectrum" just based on previous posts by people.

Does that make it more valid because I can show a graph correlating these two things?

Not that I agree or disagree with spanking as I feel it's up to the individual parent, but the "study" presented by the article is just as valid as the one I could plug into my computer to "prove" a certain stance on something. Heck, mine would be MORE valid based on the number of people that post on these boards so my N would be higher than 2500.

The thing people refuse to recognize is that correlation does not mean causation.

I need a statistic to prove to my husband that I am 95% right of the time...anyone got one of those available?

 

[Had2stopLurking]

I need a statistic to prove to my husband that I am 95% right of the time...anyone got one of those available?

Isn't that a given?

 

[Disneyland1084]

I will continue to spank my kids as I see fit

Yeah, me too.

 

[ilovejack02]

Personally I don't care if you want to spank your kids or sit them down in a drum circle and talk about their feelings with them.

On a lighter note, this is why I am in F.D.'s fan club, that is too funny!!

 

[doxdogy]

I can also count on one hand the number of times DD was swatted, spanked, had brute force used on her. A look usually did it for her and she then knew she crossed the line.

But to call a person names or accuse them of being uneducated is just wrong. Each person on this board that has a child knows what discipline will or will not work for their child. I was spanked and have none of the so called "problems" in the study.

For what it is worth, grounding didn't phase me one bit growing up. Have to stay home? Fine, I will just spend the time reading (no internet in the dark ages). A good swat, that got my attention and fast.

All children need parameters, they need to understand that there are consequences for behavior that is unacceptable. If these parameters are not giving to them in the formative years, then they will grow up to be a pox on society.

So if spanking isn't your cup of tea, then fine. Just don't look done your nose or cast aspersions on one's ability to parent on those who chose to use spanking as a corrective measure.

 

[saradela]

no spanking....no verbal abuse....those are things you never forget.....NEVER, plus in the long run ,makes you an insecure person