sasywtch
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 16, 2008
- Messages
- 2,523
This is a "how would you feel" type question. All comments whether good or bad are welcome because I'm trying to get at the root of my feelings.
So here's my question: would it irritate you if your sister friended your ex husband and his new gf on Facebook? I just couldn't see myself friending any of my relative's ex's knowing the circumstances.
I was married/dated my now ex for 18 years. We had 4 children. When my youngest was 1, my ex didn't come home all night and then when he did (at 6am to get dressed for work) he acted nonchalant. He told me had was having an affair with a 21 year old. Found out a little later she was pregnant. We divorced. He was in management with a major company (based out of Atlanta). I have no idea what happened but he was asked to go after the divorce. When we were married, the franchise owners loved him. He got a new job right away with a private person so I couldn't verify his income. He paid very little child support for 5 years. I finally subpeoned the DA for his income without his knowledge. We went back to court and he told the judge his low income again and this man from the back said "your honor, the DA's office was subpeoned and he is making 3x (gave exact figure). My ex just glared at me. My child support went up $500 a month. I just started crying because I couldn't believe this person would do this. Since it was now garnished through the DA, he had no choice. His employer now had to send his income to the DA.
Fast forward 5 years and I still have the last child at home at 14. Ex gets into a wreck and is now on disability. Child support stops. I can live with that, not well but could understand it. He gets better and instead of getting job, he starts working construction under the table. He pretty much got out of paying the last 2 years of child support.
All this time, my sister has been semi friendly with him. She would even go up and talk to his new wife. I have to keep all of this aside and not say anything so as not to cause bad feelings for my kids. 2 of my kids are ok with their dad, the two middle one are ok but hold resentment. Nothing I said, they were just old enough to have a dad that was there all the time to one who moved from my house to this other womans and not pay much attention to them for a few years. Anyway, we are civil and say hello as he was coming to my oldest son's home for holidays for a few hours (without new wife). That's where our grandkids are. The last few years, new wife found herself a new boyfriend so my ex was single again. He rectified that and found a new gf and moved 2 hours away.
My older sister and I have always had a strained relationship. She talks down to me. It's an odd situation. Holidays she is also at my son's house. My grandkids sports, she is there. I can walk into a café and she can ignore me but if we are watching my grandkids play baseball and she has dirt on the rest of the family, then she holds an hour long conversation with me. It's one of those situations where I can ask her something and she ignores me and then finally says WHAT???? in a loud snotty tone. Yet Joe Blow off the street could ask her a question and she would be smiling and friendly.
Before it's stated I didn't give all info, I'm giving as much as I can think of.
1. Our oldest sister who has passed away was married for 40 years to my ex's brother. My ex and my sister's husband's family lived across from us for 10 years growing up. The sister I'm confused about didn't hang around with them as no one was her age. She hung around with the two girls that lived on the two sides of his house.
2. It was mentioned by a couple of my kids that they thought she was jealous because all 4 of my kids turned out well and her's was a little flightly (hopefully that just changed as he had a baby last week-well his gf did).
3. When my mom passed away, we got into a screaming match at the ballpark because my sister felt my mom paid more attention to my kids. On the surface I can see it but she knows what the deal was. My dad passed in 84 and my mom watched my kids as she isn't one to have a lot of friends and was lonely. I think it gave her purpose.
Ok. I think that's all the information and shouldn't do the "oh I forgot to say" to try to justify my side.
So here's my question: would it irritate you if your sister friended your ex husband and his new gf on Facebook? I just couldn't see myself friending any of my relative's ex's knowing the circumstances.
I was married/dated my now ex for 18 years. We had 4 children. When my youngest was 1, my ex didn't come home all night and then when he did (at 6am to get dressed for work) he acted nonchalant. He told me had was having an affair with a 21 year old. Found out a little later she was pregnant. We divorced. He was in management with a major company (based out of Atlanta). I have no idea what happened but he was asked to go after the divorce. When we were married, the franchise owners loved him. He got a new job right away with a private person so I couldn't verify his income. He paid very little child support for 5 years. I finally subpeoned the DA for his income without his knowledge. We went back to court and he told the judge his low income again and this man from the back said "your honor, the DA's office was subpeoned and he is making 3x (gave exact figure). My ex just glared at me. My child support went up $500 a month. I just started crying because I couldn't believe this person would do this. Since it was now garnished through the DA, he had no choice. His employer now had to send his income to the DA.
Fast forward 5 years and I still have the last child at home at 14. Ex gets into a wreck and is now on disability. Child support stops. I can live with that, not well but could understand it. He gets better and instead of getting job, he starts working construction under the table. He pretty much got out of paying the last 2 years of child support.
All this time, my sister has been semi friendly with him. She would even go up and talk to his new wife. I have to keep all of this aside and not say anything so as not to cause bad feelings for my kids. 2 of my kids are ok with their dad, the two middle one are ok but hold resentment. Nothing I said, they were just old enough to have a dad that was there all the time to one who moved from my house to this other womans and not pay much attention to them for a few years. Anyway, we are civil and say hello as he was coming to my oldest son's home for holidays for a few hours (without new wife). That's where our grandkids are. The last few years, new wife found herself a new boyfriend so my ex was single again. He rectified that and found a new gf and moved 2 hours away.
My older sister and I have always had a strained relationship. She talks down to me. It's an odd situation. Holidays she is also at my son's house. My grandkids sports, she is there. I can walk into a café and she can ignore me but if we are watching my grandkids play baseball and she has dirt on the rest of the family, then she holds an hour long conversation with me. It's one of those situations where I can ask her something and she ignores me and then finally says WHAT???? in a loud snotty tone. Yet Joe Blow off the street could ask her a question and she would be smiling and friendly.
Before it's stated I didn't give all info, I'm giving as much as I can think of.
1. Our oldest sister who has passed away was married for 40 years to my ex's brother. My ex and my sister's husband's family lived across from us for 10 years growing up. The sister I'm confused about didn't hang around with them as no one was her age. She hung around with the two girls that lived on the two sides of his house.
2. It was mentioned by a couple of my kids that they thought she was jealous because all 4 of my kids turned out well and her's was a little flightly (hopefully that just changed as he had a baby last week-well his gf did).
3. When my mom passed away, we got into a screaming match at the ballpark because my sister felt my mom paid more attention to my kids. On the surface I can see it but she knows what the deal was. My dad passed in 84 and my mom watched my kids as she isn't one to have a lot of friends and was lonely. I think it gave her purpose.
Ok. I think that's all the information and shouldn't do the "oh I forgot to say" to try to justify my side.
.
Sometimes it's difficult to admit what you're really thinking deep down.
