Still in School?

[Iluffyou]

Both me and my DBF are currently in school. I'm going to get my BA in Elementary Education in Fall 2007 and my DBF is probably going to graduate by Fall 2008 in Mathematics Education. We have been dating now for four years and are still not engaged. It's not that we are not going to get married, or that he fears commitment because it's the complete opposite. The real problem is our current financial situation. He doesn't want to get married until we can be financially independent. We don't see a point in getting married and living off his parents. As for the age factor, I'm currently 20 and will probably be married in 2/3 years. I don't see anything wrong with marrying young. What is a big problem is all the "non-love" issues like money, like if you decide to live together you will need to pay rent which will likely prolong your graduation.

ok...I'm rambling now.

 

[Iluffyou]

I agree. I was 20 and in college when I got married. We had a baby and soon school was a thing of the past. This is every parents nightmare. I'm now divorced and have three kids. I've since returned to school and it took 4 years just to get my AA! I did however manage to graduate with highest honors, but it was the hardest thing I've ever done! I'm now working on my BA. I regret that I did not get an education first and this is what your mom is worried about. That being said, I'm sure you are a smart girl...and you're desicions are you're own. Please try to understand your mom's fears BUT you must do what you feel is right for you. You mom will come around and she will be there for you. You just need to reassure her that you a mature adult who has a solid life plan. She loves you and worries about you...and she always will.

Congrats on graduating with highest honors! What are you getting your BA in? (I'm so nosey)

 

[nsudisneyrep]

Thanks for the advice, y'all! Yeah, I definitely understand where my mother is coming from. I agree with her that I need to establish myself independently first before getting married, and I told her I won't get married a minute before I know I'm ready for the responsibility and committment. I appreciate that she worries, I just want her to be aware of my opinions, too. My mother is very much against getting married at a young age; it's what her mother did and she's always hated that. She even gets upset when I mention anyone I know who is getting married, having a baby, etc. Rather than be happy for whomever it is, she worries it "puts ideas in my head." For example, she doesn't like that DBF's brother and his girlfriend are about to welcome a new baby. Every time it's mentioned, she says something to the effect of, "Well don't you go doing anything like that!" I guess she thinks I live by a "monkey see, monkey do" philosophy?

Anyway, I intend to take my time when it comes to getting married. Financial planning, long engagement, continuing education, everything. I want to be fully prepared, but on my own time. Parents don't always agree with us on when we're ready for responsibility. If it turns out that after college I want to wait longer before marriage, I will. It's a few years away, so you never know what's going to happen. But it will be interesting to see what unfolds, and hopefully in the end my parents will be supportive of whatever I decide. *crosses fingers for good luck*

I think your pic is adorable too! I'm 21 (will turn 22 in disney when DBF and I go in July ) and he says "wouldn't it be something to get engaged at Disney?" So we'll see what happens! But only you know what is best for you, and family will love you no matter what! My mom has the same mentality it seems, but once in a while she tells me she trusts me to make my own decisions and supports me. Good luck to you both.

 

[DisneyFairy19]

I just finished school. but thinking of going for my Masters now.. but not sure yet

 

[tink774]

Oh...I don't think you need crossed fingers...you're going to be just fine! I only pray my daughter grows up as responsible as you! And I have to tell you...you are so adorable and everytime I see your sig pic I want to cry. You look SOOOO happy...You guys are going to have a wonderful life together!

Aww, thank you so much! I love that pic, too. It's officially my favorite of us together, even though you can't really see our faces . It's funny that we both met our guys through the theatre! DBF and I met in high school at a student theatre conference in our home state, even though we went to school in the same county. We had a ton of mutual friends, but had never met. He was performing in a show at the conference (I'd actually met him the night before the show) and my friends and I went to see it. He doesn't believe in love at first sight, but I swear when he walked out onstage, I just KNEW. It sounds like your DF had a similar experience when he first saw you!

As for my mom, I think she and my dad being apprehensive about me getting married has a lot to do also with the fact that I'm their oldest. My sis is a couple of years younger than I am, so all of the first big events are with me. They've admitted that a lot of stuff with me has been "trial-and-error" and it's prepared them for similar situations with the little sis. So obviously as the first daughter to get married, they'll have a difficult time with it. All I can do is hope for the best, and convince them to trust in my decisions.

Lol as for school, I've been back and forth on careers so often, it's starting to make me crazy! For now I've settled on professor of history, which is great because I love to learn about history! I would love to go for a doctorate, but that takes so long, so that's a lot of time with no real income besides jobs on the side. I figure for now I'll go for the masters, and then see if trying for a doctorate would be a wise investment after that.

 

[BubMunkeyBles]

Lol as for school, I've been back and forth on careers so often, it's starting to make me crazy! For now I've settled on professor of history, which is great because I love to learn about history! I would love to go for a doctorate, but that takes so long, so that's a lot of time with no real income besides jobs on the side. I figure for now I'll go for the masters, and then see if trying for a doctorate would be a wise investment after that.

I'm majoring in history and graduating with my BS next may... only 16 credit hours (well i have to take fillers in spring). I love history and there's always jobs, even though they don't pay great. I wanna teach high school history I think. Waiting till I get married to get my masters after we're restationed (FI is military). It's nice to know I'm not the only person who LOVES history. Oh yeah... I'm turning 22 in July... will be almost 23 when I get married... I'm still older than most military wives though, lol.

 

[tink774]

I'm majoring in history and graduating with my BS next may... only 16 credit hours (well i have to take fillers in spring). I love history and there's always jobs, even though they don't pay great. I wanna teach high school history I think. Waiting till I get married to get my masters after we're restationed (FI is military). It's nice to know I'm not the only person who LOVES history. Oh yeah... I'm turning 22 in July... will be almost 23 when I get married... I'm still older than most military wives though, lol.

No kidding! There was a guy in some of my classes this past year who had come back to school after serving (he's 23 or 24 now) and he and his wife got married at age 19. I was like !

I want to try and avoid the high school teaching system (it would depend on the school) because in my experience some schools are not very focused on what the students are learning and retaining so much as how good the numbers looked. My AP European History teacher hated our high school because she wasn't happy with the priorities as far as attendance and dress code over education. But if I had to, I would try the high school system. Who knows, I might find a great school! And hopefully some eager students!

Congrats on graduating soon! I bet you're excited!

 

[BubMunkeyBles]

Yep, can't wait to finish. I got behind when I lost a semester to being in the hospital and changed my major. But not too far off. Teaching high school is pretty much my only option with FI in the military since so many places are low on public school teachers... plus if we get stationed overseas i can hopefully get into the govt school system. Yeah... a lot of military people get married really early... so I am pretty proud of myself for waiting to get my degree, lol. Corny. Good luck with history.

 

[tink774]

Good luck with history.

You too! Best of luck to any brides on here balancing the wedding with school! I'm sure that's not easy.

 

[Summer-Caitlin]

I'm still in school and I work Part time, I will not be graduating until 2009 I am studying Law, but I have a semester off so luckily the wedding is not impacting with my studies at all. When I get back though I am straight back to school, so no extended honeymoon for me

 

[yearbook50]

I'm still in school, I'm working on my B.S. in Mechanical Engineering. If all goes well, I should be graduating a semester early in December of this year. I also work full time at an electronics retailer (well during the school year its full time, this summer i'm part time b/c i got an internship at a real engineering place) so I'll be busy once school starts up again between classes and work.

 

[zetalove08]

My DF and I are both currently in school and are graduating in May of 2008, we plan to get married Oct.5, 2008 so it will take some balancing on my part with school and wedding planning. The good thing though, is that my last semester I only have 1 class I have to take for my major, and then just 2 electives (I'm probably taking pilates and an online class ) so I should be okay... Me and my DF got engaged Dec.07 after dating for over 4+ years. It's funny Tink that you say it was love at first sight for you because I felt the same way! I met DF on a blind date to prom my junior year of high school and when I saw him I was like oh my gosh... not because he was a huge hunk or anything (not that he's not!) but I just knew. We've been inseperable ever since!

I know a lot of people who have married young or gotten engaged/married in college and it really just depends on the person whether it works out or not... I know some married couples who are working on their masters together, while others both dropped out of college and are working at the local grocery store or something. Nothing is wrong with either scenario, but make sure and remember what's important to you and not give that up!

I can't wait to hear more about your future planning and good luck with school!!! I don't know about you, but I am SO ready to be done!

 

[IrishLily]

I'm also still in school and my mom said that if she wanted her to pay for the wedding I had to wait until I graduated. Needless to say, Disney magic isn't cheap, so we won't be married until September 2008. I'm getting my BS in Advertising either this fall or next Spring...can't decide yet. We've been engaged for over a year now, so it's definitely a long engagement, but I enjoy being engaged!

My mom also thinks I'm too young, and because he's the first long term relationship I can understand her feelings. But I think you know when it's right. And if it is, then you should go for it. There will always be something that can hold you back. If it's not school, then it's your first career that you have to get established in, financial situation, etc. So just do what you know is best for the both of you.

 

[tink774]

I'm also still in school and my mom said that if she wanted her to pay for the wedding I had to wait until I graduated. Needless to say, Disney magic isn't cheap, so we won't be married until September 2008. I'm getting my BS in Advertising either this fall or next Spring...can't decide yet. We've been engaged for over a year now, so it's definitely a long engagement, but I enjoy being engaged!

My mom also thinks I'm too young, and because he's the first long term relationship I can understand her feelings. But I think you know when it's right. And if it is, then you should go for it. There will always be something that can hold you back. If it's not school, then it's your first career that you have to get established in, financial situation, etc. So just do what you know is best for the both of you.

Lol I can definitely relate. If you want your parents to help you out with costs, you need to be willing to compromise with them! My mom had the same concerns, because I'd only dated one other guy during high school before I met DBF. But like you said, you know when it feels right! And congrats on getting your BS soon!

 

[figmentfan814]

I have to admit my DF and I are probably at the opposite end of the spectrum. We met when we were freshmen in college, but were together 7 years before getting engaged. We made it through completing our bachelor's and then two subsequent master's degrees for each of us. We got engaged during my last semester of graduate school. For us, it was important to finish school before we got married. I've had too many families members who have gotten married with every intention of finishing school and just haven't made it. Even if you aren't engaged and/or married together you can still enjoy your time together as a couple. We had a great time in college and spent lots of time together, so I don't feel like we missed out on anything. It's kind of funny though because we have friends who met a couple years after us that have been married and already have several kids

 

[JJClemson]

Up until a month ago, I was a full-time graduate student, and now I'm done DF is still in chiropractic school for another 2 years. I still haven't found a full-time job yet, and that really worries me w/ our wedding being 2 weeks away. However, we have been together for 6 years and it is definitely our time to get hitched. School is different nowadays... it took me 7 years to complete undergrad and my Master's and it will take DF 9 years to complete undergrad, his Master's, and his Doctorate. We know we'll struggle for awhile but a lot of young couples do regardless if they're in school or not.

You know, I can see where your mom is coming from, she probably just wants to make sure you finish school and wants you to be financially stable. You say you have been working full-time throughout school which shows your mature and responsible, so you probably will want to finish school. And, honestly, if we all waited until we were financially stable to get married, 1/2 of us would never get married

Good luck, hon! Maybe talk with your mom and see where her concerns are coming from

 

[jasnal]

My DF is in the middle of vet school and still has 2 yrs left after we get married and I am applying to PA school this year and Ill be in school for 2 yrs if I get in!

 

[tink774]

I applaud anyone who can go to school full-time and work a full-time job. I'm in school full-time, but I only work part-time, and I feel like I'm always busy! For me the problem is that it seems as though all the major schoolwork piles up at one time, especially in the middle and at the end of each semester. One of the managers where I work is currently in a Masters program and she works full-time. I tell her all the time how motivated she is, and she says it's great but she's always tired or stressed out.

It's a totally random question, but out of all the courses you've taken, do you have a favorite? We all have those classes we could have lived without, but is there one you're glad you took? Any that you were surprised that you enjoyed?

 

[Gradar1]

I also am still in school--I was supposed to graduate last month, but extenuating circumstances forced me to take a year off--and with any luck, I'll hopefully graduate with a history degree in May 2008 and then go into grad school to get my Masters of Library Science (I want to be a librarian). The DF will graduate a year later, in May 2009, and we've talked about the date for sometime that summer/fall, so by the time the event rolls around, we'll have been together for almost 4 years, Seems like forever to wait, haha. And in answer to your question Tink, the best classes I took were when I spent a semester abroad in London--we had British teachers, and they were amazing. But here, I've really enjoyed all my history courses--obviously, I suppose, as that's my major--but I'm a real nerd, I love that stuff.

I definitely understand where your mom is coming from--my parents are quite similar, every time I go to a friend from high school's wedding or baby shower, and whatnot, they feel obliged to remind me that I need to graduate, get a job, start my own life, etc. I appreciate the advice, and I know that it is solid--after all, if I married now, I lose any financial aid because I'm still young enough to be a dependent, and I'd lose all my insurance, since theirs covers me until I'm 26 as long as I'm in school full-time. Anyways, as frustrating as it is to constantly hear those comments, remember that they do have your best interests at heart--but definitely live your life the way you want to.

 

[prncesaurora21]

i am finishing up an English Lit. degree (it was an Education degree until about three weeks ago when it dawned on me that i really DON'T like working with kids! lol) i graduate in December. I also work full time as a manager at a local movie theater (one of the bigger ones so i am there at least 40 hours a week, usually more like 45 or 50) and i am looking at getting another part time job to pay for the wedding!

DF works full time also...i am trying to get him to get the second job instead but he's not buying it lol (he is a manager at a grocery store).

i am not too worried about trying to balance it all because my best friend just got married in march and she also graduates in decemeber, works full time, and is working on her applications for law school...it just takes a lot of this and this lol.