Ok, I've wiped my eyes, kicked the cat, and indulged myself with a cold cheeseburger out of the fridge for breakfast. Now it's time to return to what I do best.
And that's making a fool out of myself.
Any objections?
Didn't think so.
And why am I doing the double spacing thing.
Don't know that either.
By the way, this report will obviously go on for a while, so you'll be relieved to know that there will NOT be reports on the upcoming trips. There will be quite a few highly qualified writers that will be joining the trip reports board, and I look forward to reading the same events told by different folks. But, in the meantime, you're still stuck with me for a while.
Saturday, May 12th, our last full day at CBR.
As usual, I woke up early, but had no idea what it was like outside.
Diane likes the drapes tightly closed, there is no such thing as a morning ray of sunshine, crawling slowly up the side of the bed.
It would be beaten with a flip flop!
They don't call her "She who must not be disturbed" for nothing.
I pushed the button on the coffemaker, and went into the bathroom area to take care of the morning ritual.
I even , ever so slowly, pulled that separating drape across, so no escaping light from the vanity area would be beaten to death.
After I finished brushing my tooth, I made a cup of coffee in the travel cup with the lid, then rinsed it out and set it up for her lousy tea.
Our plans today are to get an early jump on the main pool, have an early lunch at the food court, then relax for a while before we head over to the Boardwalk and the Big River Grill, for our last dinner.
But I still don't have any idea what it's like out. I'm not going to put on my suit if it's raining out, right?
So I ease the door open, ever so quietly, stick my head out and do the weather check.
It's beautiful.
The sun is just coming up over the palm trees across the lake.
A little hazy, some still from the smoke, but no real clouds in sight.
Crickets still chirping.
Birds chirping.
"How long are you going to stand there with your head out the door,letting in the light?"
Diane chirping.
I threw on my suit, grabbed my stuff, and told her I'd meet her by the main pool. My first stop is to be the store across from the pool for a newspaper.
And I headed to the bridge, totally, mentally, out of it, my brain a complete blank, just looking around.
On the bridge, which we had just crossed late last night, I passed a worker who is standing there with a hose, watering bushes.
He smiles at me, I nod back.
When I say that sometimes I zone out, I am not kidding at all.
As I'm walking along, just looking at flowers and water and buildings off in the distance, I come across another worker who is standing there, watering bushes.
And I thought to myself, WOW, he looks just like the other guy, could be his twin! It was when he smiled at me again, only this time with a bit of a smirk, that the nickel dropped in.
SHOOT! Shoot, shoot. What An Idiot!
Now, anytime that you have made a complete ******* of yourself, you want to try to bs your way out of it. So, I stopped right by him, bent over as if to inspect a plant, and since he looked hispanic, I hoped he spoke very little english.
"Boy, these Cannas are coming along just nicely, and I'm surprised that the agapanthas is doing so well, considering the lack of rain. "
Yeah, I meant to walk around twice. Yep, that'l work!
Actually, I have no idea what I just said. I wouldn't know an agapanthas from a habiscus.
I was just hoping for a smile, with maybe a "hola" thrown in. No such luck.
"Yes, the canna lillies are doing well, but they are actually hybrids made from cross pollinating that we do over in Epcot, they are much hardier and withstand the extreme conditions that we face here all the time. I haven't seen any agapanthus though, but if you say so, maybe there are some back where you came out of.
Twice. "
I smiled and wanted to turn his hose on him, but I said have a nice day and walked on.
But now I'm scared to death!
I don't know which way I went, I wasn't paying attention, and there's an excellent chance I'm going to do it again!
I looked behind me. Nope, no one coming.
So I started walking slowly, trying to figure where I took the wrong turn.
At a juncture up ahead, you can make a hard right, a soft right, or go left, and I can't remember which way I just went.
I went left.
And ended up in the playground.
If he catches me in here, I will have no choice but to start climbing the monkey bars and go down the slide.
I could see that the soft right was a dead end to a bench, but I swear I took the hard right the first time and ended back by my new best buddy.
With no choice, I took the hard right again. If I end up back there again, and have to walk past him again, I will have no choice but to kill him.
Wait, there! Another juncture, this went to the left, guess I missed it the first time, and a almost ran off the dang bridge. WHEWW!
After buying a paper, I went in search of a couple loungers. This is when I realized that there is one thing at this resort I don't like. It's barely 8:30 in the morning, but half the chairs are already taken. I am not kidding. Not taken with that many people, but towels are spread out all over the place.
It appears that folks go to the towel rack, spread out the towels and reserve their chairs, then go to the food court for breakfast. That's why I don't like this pool, it's just too close to the main building, there is no sense of early morning solitude when it's in a high traffic area.
It's way too much like being at the Hippy Dippy pool at pop. Or any main pool at the All Stars. This is probably why my favorite pool is the Maya pool at Coranado. You don't accidentally walk past that pool, it has to be a destination!
I have sat there in the past, and the only person I saw for an hour was the girl filling up the towel cart, and a lifeguard setting up.
Diane came down a half hour later. "Sorry I was crabby earlier."
"That's ok," I responded, "I didn't even notice."
"Thank you, that's a nice thi,,,,,,,HEY!"
By ten oclock, there wasn't two seats left that were together. I saw more kids here than I ever did at either ASMOVIES or Music, or Pop.
Then I saw something else that I wished I hadn't. I was about to point it out to Smidgy, but she had already noticed.
You know how all the roads have Speed Limit signs, with the corresponding number underneath?
Well, they need one here.
SPEEDO LIMIT!
25 Years
There was a guy standing by the pool, had to be in his forties who obviously drank a 12 pack a day, wearing a little black speedo.
It was U_G_L_Y !
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.
At eleven we had lunch, a hot dog and fries for me, a burger for her, and soon we were back in the room, just relaxing.
Yes, I made sure to follow her across the bridge.
She was able to doze off, and as I lie there staring at the ceiling again, this time wondering if someone really went up to Mrs. Lincoln and said, "So, besides that, how did you like the play?", well, I dozed off my self.
Eating can have that effect on me.
And of course, when I woke up, I had no idea what day it was, what time it was, where I was, or even WHO I was. I made us each a couple of drinks as we got ready for dinner. But the whole idea of dinner right now just sounded ridiculous, I'm not used to eating this often.
I pulled into the Boardwalk about 5;30, this gave us about an hour and a half to walk around. And hopefully get hungry. The drinks seemed to pick up the appetite a bit, and we had brought a couple of screwdrivers in the Sunny D bottles with us, and just wandered around.
I have one picture from then, enjoy.
This slide gets high marks for appearance, but the Coranado slide is still better, it's the best one on Disney property.
Don't ask me how I know this about the Luna pool's Keister Koaster Slide, since we have never stayed there.
And not that I want one now, but don't you think that a place modeled after the Atlantic City Boardwalk would have a stand selling corn dogs?
I've always been a little dissappointed with it here. The main entertainment is watching people jump out of the way of the surrey bikes.
We did catch one guy that was kind of fun. A juggling, balancing mime. I gave him extra credit just for having the guts to stand out there by himself, and possibly look like an idiot.
Oh wait, I do that all the time.
Never mind.
After dinner, we are considering going over to the Swan, for karaoke, depending on how we feel.
We were both ready to eat now, and went up to the podium that is outside the Big River Grill door, and checked in.
She took us all of ten feet inside the door, and plunked us down at a table.
We hadn't even ordered but we both new that this is one that we won't be back to again.
It's incredibly loud in here. The acoustics are just terrrible, along with the ambience, if you can call it that. It's very bright, tables too close together, everone yelling across the table to be heard, and the room just looks like they haven't gotten around to decorating it yet.
I yelled "Meatloaf" at the waitress, Diane yelled "Ribs".
I had some kind of soup first, might have been onion, but it was brought out in a gigantic saucer for a bowl. I don't know how she got it to us without it spilling out everywhere. It was only a quarter inche deep!
That's when I realized what a lot of the noise in here was from. You couldn't get any in your spoon, without clanking the bottom of the bowl every time, it just wasn't deep enough.
To be fair, my meatloaf was pretty good, with a lot of brown gravy and potatoes. She gave me one of her Rocket Red Ribs, and it was really tough, with very little BBQ sauce on it. Even though it came with dinner, I don't think either of us ordered desert, but I could be mistaken.
Back outside, we had a smoke and talked about if we want to wait till it's time for karaoke. We still had an hour and a half to kill before that started, if it started on time. That turned out to be the easiest decision that we had to make the whole trip.
Some decisions you agonize over, and some decisions are made from agony.
I think we both had that same type of "frown" on our faces at the same time.
Smidgy said, "You know honey? I don't think that karaoke, or even Waiting till karaoke starts, is a good idea tonight."
Nebo said, "You know honey? I think you couldn't be more correct." "I suppose it's too early to call "first dibs" when we get back to the room?"
Smidgy said, "You can call it all you want,for all the good it'l do you."
Nebo said, "Yeah, when you're right, you're right." And we headed back to the car.
On the way through the parking lot, another Finding Nemo line popped into my head. Or at least another punch line to his joke that took him the whole movie to get out.
I mumbled, "Boy, with foods like these, who needs enemas?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing."
See ya, back soon.
Coming up; Coranado
Heh heh.
Dad 44 
Me 13 
Dear Sister 10 
Dear Sister 5 
and 
) Couldn't you pose Diane so that you could get him in the background? Wendy got a picture of the chihuahua tatto on that guy's leg! I'm just sayin....
)
can't cancel the late sept free dining, airfair booked, guess we do both aw darn!!!!
