Steve McNair

[Hercules10]

Ironically they think the mistress shot him because she thought he started seeing another 20-something gal.

 

[RadioNate]

Actually, they were in the process of divorcing, from what I understand. I don't know if that was due to him cheating, or other reasons.

Also, when I spoke of Steve being a good parent, I was meaning that he always HAD been, at least in the public eye. Obviously, discovering he was carrying on with a 20 year old changes things.

Then get a girlfriend AFTER the divorce is final. What is with these men? They can't wait 6 months before vacationing, sleeping with, buying cars with some other woman?

If the ink isn't dry you are still married.

 

[blissventure]

I agree!



I so vehemently disagree it isn't funny. Good fathers do not cheat on the mother of their children. They put their children in front of their libido and ego.

Marriage over ... fine. Get a divorce. But believe me, the children will always feel like this girl was more important to their father then they were. Instead of staying home with them he was running around with her.

And he got killed for it. I don't think he deserved it, that isn't what I'm saying AT ALL. But this woman killed him. This affair cost him his life. And now they are saying that she killed him because she thought he was cheating on her. That there was a 3rd woman involved.

I can only pray for the wife and children. They are the ones most hurt by all of this!

As you said, if the marriage is over, get a divorce. And the "issue" of whether or not his wife knew or not is irrelevant. The pain of having the father of their children murdered by his mistress will be with her forever. Her children will never be the same after this. They will hopefully get some help, learn to cope, but it will probably be impossible to completely reconcile their father's selfish choices and their lifelong loss.

 

[Hoodie]

This thread sort of reflects this article

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9777174/Don't-be-so-quick-to-make-McNair-a-hero

be warned - the author pulls no punches regarding his thoughts.

FWIW - the minute I heard it was McNair and an unidentified woman , I guessed it was his mistress and a murder/suicide. Prayers for his kids who are the only real innocent victims here.

 

[blissventure]

This thread sort of reflects this article

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9777174/Don't-be-so-quick-to-make-McNair-a-hero

be warned - the author pulls no punches regarding his thoughts.

FWIW - the minute I heard it was McNair and an unidentified woman , I guessed it was his mistress and a murder/suicide. Prayers for his kids who are the only real innocent victims here.

Thank you for posting that article. I agree 100%, and I appreciate that the author was man enough to say what needs to be said, rather than some politically correct drivel that takes no stand.

 

[asta]

I think this whole situation is just beyond sad. I have a 21 year old daughter and I can't imagine a man with the life experiences of Steve McNair having anything in common with someone her age . I know she was a high school drop out who was allowed to leave home at 15 and move two states away a boyfriend. He was a retired NFL star who at 36 had children her age (I think a son is 18 and he met her when she was 19). I get the physical attraction but these two were just too far apart.

To clear some things up:
He didn't buy her the Escalade, he appears just to have cosigned the loan because the police say that she was having trouble making payments on it.

As far as understanding how the wife could have existed with this going on, I think it is important to understand how these pro-football players live. The wives are used to extended absences. As far as I know she and the children (at least two of them, I think the two older children had a different mother) had lived here in Nashville while he finished up his career in Baltimore. And they have always had a home back in Louisianna where he came from. It would be easy to explain or rationalize time away.

McNair was not getting a divorce. He and his wife were searching for a new home. I think that was just a line he fed a gullible young girl or one that she made up.

 

[luvsJack]

Wow - I am sorry, but I have to disagree with this. Being unfaithful to the mother of your children while still married to her is not putting your children's interests above your own, which is the definition of good parenting. If your marriage is a wreck, than get a divorce before you sleep around. Is it about you or the kids? That is the definition of a good parent.

The relationship between the mother and father do not always have anything to do with parenting skills. If that was the case, we would have no divorce. People remain good parents after divorce don't they? I do not believe that a man who has an affair is not really in love with his wife and he should get a divorce; but I don't believe that it necessarily changes his abilities as a parent. An affair is about the relationship between a man and a woman; it is not about the children.

I don't know a thing in the world about Steve McNair; but its easy to condemn somebody when we don't know exactly why they make the choices they make and we don't know anything about the relationship between him and his wife. It is possible that she knew about the affair but chose to continue the marriage. Not a choice I would make but some do make that choice; especially when there is a large income involved.

 

[sbell111]

Actually, they were in the process of divorcing, from what I understand. I don't know if that was due to him cheating, or other reasons. ...

Apparently, the only person who thought they were divorcing was the girlfriend.

... As far as understanding how the wife could have existed with this going on, I think it is important to understand how these pro-football players live. The wives are used to extended absences. As far as I know she and the children (at least two of them, I think the two older children had a different mother) had lived here in Nashville while he finished up his career in Baltimore. And they have always had a home back in Louisianna where he came from. It would be easy to explain or rationalize time away.

Ummm, he hasn't played pro football for over a year.

The family lived in Nashville, but he also kept a condo in Nashville. He was seen at the condo with the girlfriend so many times that some of the neighbors assumed that they both lived there. He took his girlfriend of six months on at least three out of town vacations. Pictures of McNair and his girlfriend on vacation were published.

He may never have told his wife that he was cheating and she may never have confronted him about it, but she had to have known.

In my mind, this entire situation can be summed up and explained with a simple saying that was told to me and my teamates by a coach when we were maybe ten or eleven, "Cheaters never prosper".

I'm sorry for McNair's kids. I'm sorry for Sahel Kazemi's family. Heck, I'm sorry for Sahel Kazemi.

 

[sbell111]

The relationship between the mother and father do not always have anything to do with parenting skills. If that was the case, we would have no divorce. People remain good parents after divorce don't they? I do not believe that a man who has an affair is not really in love with his wife and he should get a divorce; but I don't believe that it necessarily changes his abilities as a parent. An affair is about the relationship between a man and a woman; it is not about the children.

I don't know a thing in the world about Steve McNair; but its easy to condemn somebody when we don't know exactly why they make the choices they make and we don't know anything about the relationship between him and his wife. It is possible that she knew about the affair but chose to continue the marriage. Not a choice I would make but some do make that choice; especially when there is a large income involved.

I think that we can all agree that his cheating has hurt his kids.

 

[missypie]

Years ago I read a Newsweek "My Turn" article by a woman whose husband died in a car accident the day before she was going to file for divorce. She described the terrible guilt she felt because she was not sad that he was gone. She had not wished him dead but she felt like such a terrible hypocrite for playing the mourning wife when in reality, her deepest desire - to have him out of her life - had been granted, albeit in a terrible way. I wonder if McNair's wife is feeling a bit like that woman.

 

[blissventure]

Years ago I read a Newsweek "My Turn" article by a woman whose husband died in a car accident the day before she was going to file for divorce. She described the terrible guilt she felt because she was not sad that he was gone. She had not wished him dead but she felt like such a terrible hypocrite for playing the mourning wife when in reality, her deepest desire - to have him out of her life - had been granted, albeit in a terrible way. I wonder if McNair's wife is feeling a bit like that woman.

I rather doubt it. At the very least, she has 4 children. She will be looking straight at the pain in their faces as they attempt to come to terms with their needless loss for years to come.

 

[missypie]

I have a friend whose husband died of cancer when her kids were 2, 4 and 6. It had been a difficult battle and was so hard for her to manage with the kids being so small. She said (years later) that she felt a great sense of relief when it was all over, then felt terribly guilty for feeling relieved.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Wow - I am sorry, but I have to disagree with this. Being unfaithful to the mother of your children while still married to her is not putting your children's interests above your own, which is the definition of good parenting. If your marriage is a wreck, than get a divorce before you sleep around. Is it about you or the kids? That is the definition of a good parent.

I completely disagree. Maybe the whole reason that he stayed in the marriage was for the kids' sake and there was absolutely no love left....and maybe Mechelle even knew that. We don't, and never will, know the whole story.

 

[Terry36]

This thread sort of reflects this article

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9777174/Don't-be-so-quick-to-make-McNair-a-hero

be warned - the author pulls no punches regarding his thoughts.

Dude....this article hits it on the nail.

 

[Jenvenza]

I completely disagree. Maybe the whole reason that he stayed in the marriage was for the kids' sake and there was absolutely no love left....and maybe Mechelle even knew that. We don't, and never will, know the whole story.

Having an affair on your wife and the mother of your children is NOT being a good parent or husband.

 

[The Iron Giant]

I completely disagree. Maybe the whole reason that he stayed in the marriage was for the kids' sake and there was absolutely no love left....and maybe Mechelle even knew that. We don't, and never will, know the whole story.

Regardless... sneaking around with a girlfriend while you are married is not being a good father and it is setting a terrible example for your kids. It doesn't matter if he and his wife were still in love or not. Its the message you are sending your kids that matters.

 

[luvsJack]

Having an affair on your wife and the mother of your children is NOT being a good parent or husband.

I don't think I am understanding how you equate being a good husband/wife and being a good parent. There are many good fathers/mothers out there who are not a husband/wife to anyone. You can love your children without loving their mother/father. There are people with the inability to make a commitment to a husband/wife but are still wonderful parents to their children.

As the pp said, he could have been staying with his wife only because of the children. And didn't love his wife at all. I can show you two fathers IRL that I know personally who are wonderful fathers; but do not love their wives. Are they having an affair? I don't know, but I wouldn't be shocked to find out they are.

 

[The Iron Giant]

I don't think I am understanding how you equate being a good husband/wife and being a good parent. There are many good fathers/mothers out there who are not a husband/wife to anyone. You can love your children without loving their mother/father. There are people with the inability to make a commitment to a husband/wife but are still wonderful parents to their children.

I agree... but I think you are referring to parents who divorced over incompatibility reasons. Not a parent who was caught cheating on his/her spouse.

I'm a father. And I expect my kids to be honest and trustworthy. Sneaking around with a girlfriend, whether I love their mother or not, is not setting the proper example for my kids. Its teaching them to be deceptive and its distorting their view of a healthy marriage.

 

[lemondog]

Well as a huge Titans fan, I can tell you this whole thing has been devastating. To many people. He is a larger-than-life prescence here in Nashville. He does do so much good for the community, I think it's hard for people around here to forget the "good" McNair -- football star, dad, friend, humanitarian -- and think solely of the McNair who screwed up.

I think Jeff Fisher said it best. "The Steve McNair that I knew would want me to say, 'Sorry. I'm not perfect. We all make decisions sometimes that are not in our best interests. Please forgive me.'"

Yeah, the man had an affair. It was wrong. But he still did NOT deserve to die. Of course I feel sorry for his wife and children. And for the Kazemi family. But I also feel sorry for Steve. I don't care how badly you screw up in life...no one deserves to be brutally murdered.

I still love Steve. And I'll always remember him for the GOOD in him, NOT as "that scumbag that cheated on his wife"

 

[Missy1961]

This thread sort of reflects this article

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9777174/Don't-be-so-quick-to-make-McNair-a-hero

be warned - the author pulls no punches regarding his thoughts.

FWIW - the minute I heard it was McNair and an unidentified woman , I guessed it was his mistress and a murder/suicide. Prayers for his kids who are the only real innocent victims here.

Really good article, the author is so right.

And you're right, McNair's sons are the victims here. I'll pray for them.