Staying Calm

[DisneyRegulars]

I like the laughing idea. Just think about the joy and relief your giving the mom standing 20 feet away watching your kid having a meltdown and being grateful its not her kid. And don't worry you'll have the opportunity to be that mom too!

Yes, this. We've all been there. Even my well behaved little guy has thrown at least one tantrum each trip. For us it means it's time to leave the park for the day because it's usually a sign he is tired and needs a break.

We're both teachers, so we only go over the summer. Here's how we tend to keep things level:


- Finally, the best piece of advice I ever got about WDW: your collective experience is only as happy as the least happy person there. So if your 2 year old is nearing meltdown phase, the time to stop is NOW, regardless of what you had hoped to do or see. Because if they're in meltdown, you're not going to enjoy it anyway. Don't give any one trip or ride or attraction the power to "Make" your trip. This vacation is about family enjoying itself at WDW. Keep the big picture in mind.

- As to how to handle a toddler meltdown-- we never experienced one at WDW-- my youngest was 5 the first time we went. (Though I won't pretend that it was all unicorns and rainbows.)But what worked best for my kids was, believe it or not, a hug. They tended to have toddler meltdowns when they were incredibly frustrated about something and couldn't figure out how to say it. So getting down to their level and giving them a soothing hug seemed to work best for me. Once they calmed down, we were able to talk it all out.

Also, when my son was young, he would sometimes get the day off to a bad start-- more of that "not a morning person" thing I guess. There were days when I offered him a "do-over." He would apologize for the bad start, we would both paste on a smile, and we would simply forget the tantrum.

Yes, yes and yes! All three of these items!

I think expectations are a big part of things as well. If you have trouble with a trip to Walmart, don't expect your kids to transform into angels just because they are at WDW. Expect the same Walmart trip antics while down at the World. Maybe with lower expectations you will be able to handle the meltdowns in stride.

Keep everyone hydrated, cool and rested and you will have fewer meltdowns.

I have put my son in 'time-out' several times, and also let him flail on the ground. Once he flipped out at age 24 months because we had been able to stay on Triceratops Spin 3 times in a row, but the 4th time we had to leave because a line had formed. He was so upset that he had to get off the ride. I picked him up kicking and screaming, exited the ride, and placed him on the ground out of the way where he could continue kicking and screaming until he had calmed down. There after though, if we ever had the opportunity to stay on a ride we got off and went back through the line instead to avoid another disaster!

Have you read Happiest Toddler on the Block? That book has some great tips in it for diffusing toddler tantrums, and my son responded well to 'toddlerese'. You can rent the DVD from your local library for a quick 30 minute watch.

 

[Heidi K]

This is totally how I roll. I have to share this story: our first trip as a family was when DD was 23 months and as expected she had some melt downs. The last day was the worst- she hadnt been napping while we were there, hadnt been sleeping that great and was completely over stimulated. On our way out of MK on our last day we finally caved and bought her one of those balloons with the Mickey head inside like she wanted. As we were waiting for the bus back to our resort she somehow got the balloon stuck in the stroller and LOST IT. It was so absurd that I just had to laugh and then I took a picture for posterity (don't worry, I picked up and did my best to help her out right away after that)

That picture is adorable!!

 

[esquared221]

That picture is adorable!!

Lol, I thought it was just too relate able not to share!

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

my answer : margaritas !

I try to remember to bring the boys swim trunks and water shoes when we go to MK and Epcot. Especially now that they have that nice water feature next to Dumbo.

Second, try not to sweat the small stuff. I swear sometimes my kids are attracted to things I think are a waste of time. Such as for some reason they just love playing on that silly little play set near the entrance to Splash Mtn. Do they ever want to play on play sets like that at home, never. But at Disney they do.

I thought they would be interested in things that they didn't take 2 second to think about.

Something we do at home is Time out to-go. When my kids were wee toddlers we started using time out to-go. It pretty much teaches the kids time-out can be anywhere and every where that mommy/daddy make it. We kept a large bandana in our diaper bag. The bandana marked the time out spot. It didn't matter if we were at the park, a store, the grocery, the mall, or somebody else's house, time out was always with us.

We would find a place to open the bandana, lay it out on the floor, bench, bed, changing room, bathroom stall, etc and thats where time out occurred. I personally only had to use it less than a dozen times, before my kids learned mom was serious that you would really go to time out.

 

[ashleymrush]

my answer : margaritas ! I try to remember to bring the boys swim trunks and water shoes when we go to MK and Epcot. Especially now that they have that nice water feature next to Dumbo. Second, try not to sweat the small stuff. I swear sometimes my kids are attracted to things I think are a waste of time. Such as for some reason they just love playing on that silly little play set near the entrance to Splash Mtn. Do they ever want to play on play sets like that at home, never. But at Disney they do. I thought they would be interested in things that they didn't take 2 second to think about. Something we do at home is Time out to-go. When my kids were wee toddlers we started using time out to-go. It pretty much teaches the kids time-out can be anywhere and every where that mommy/daddy make it. We kept a large bandana in our diaper bag. The bandana marked the time out spot. It didn't matter if we were at the park, a store, the grocery, the mall, or somebody else's house, time out was always with us. We would find a place to open the bandana, lay it out on the floor, bench, bed, changing room, bathroom stall, etc and thats where time out occurred. I personally only had to use it less than a dozen times, before my kids learned mom was serious that you would really go to time out.

Margaritas may be my answer as well or a little wine by the pool when the boys are napping in the room with Daddy. Thanks!

 

[esquared221]

my answer : margaritas !

My answer to just about everything! Lol, I like the way you think

 

[NotUrsula]

Honestly, if the primary occasion for your children's meltdowns are on shopping trips, you may be over-thinking this. My kids both HATED shopping at that age, and would even try to get punished just so that they could get out of the store (unless it was a toy store), but they were always really easy at WDW. Also, remember that most kids love their homes and feel comfortable there, but they tend NOT to love hotel rooms, because except for perhaps better TV than home, they are boring, so they are not going to be throwing fits to try to go back to the hotel if swimming is not on the agenda. (Pool time is a great reward for good behavior, but always qualify your agreement for pool time with an eye to weather issues; in Orlando, the likelihood of weather-related pool closures is high, especially on summer afternoons.)

What we always found helped immensely was to tell them exactly what we planned to do that day, and we kept the expectations low. (For instance, we never promised a specifc ride; you can't predict mechanical issues). However, for a kid in an unfamiliar place, knowing what is going to happen can help a whole lot to allay fears.

We plan (and yes, I make a simple spreadsheet chart) each day in terms of what our destination is at the three major sections of the day: morning, afternoon, and evening. If there are special meals planned or something like a Pirate Cruise, those are on the chart as well. What this does for us is eliminates any need to stop and decide where we want to go; we always know several weeks ahead of time where we are going, roughly-speaking. The kids know that within that framework they can ask to go anywhere they like, and we will comply, but we won't deviate from the main plan framework except to cancel that segment altogether and stay at the resort for pool time.

 

[dcod1974]

While you're walking around before your kid has had a meltdown, if you happen to see another child in meltdown mode, use it as a chance to talk about the scenario with your kids. Ask them how they think the other kid is feeling, how they may have ended up so frustrated and sad, and if they were in that situation, what might make them feel better. Might not work with younger kids, but when they're in meltdown, you'll have their ideas on how to help, and also older kids might remember the conversation and feel like you're at least hearing that they're sad and frustrated. I also loved Aliceacc's response about a simple hug.

 

[ashleymrush]

NotUrsula - I think you are exactly right. I haven't thought about their behavior in other places. They are usually very good except for shopping. I can't imagine why they don't like sitting in a stroller and watching me look at clothes. Haha! We are also very planned out which I'm hoping helps. My oldest responds very well to plans and isn't so good with spontaneous changes. Planning is a must.

 

[ashleymrush]

While you're walking around before your kid has had a meltdown, if you happen to see another child in meltdown mode, use it as a chance to talk about the scenario with your kids. Ask them how they think the other kid is feeling, how they may have ended up so frustrated and sad, and if they were in that situation, what might make them feel better. Might not work with younger kids, but when they're in meltdown, you'll have their ideas on how to help, and also older kids might remember the conversation and feel like you're at least hearing that they're sad and frustrated. I also loved Aliceacc's response about a simple hug.

Great tip! Thanks!

 

[buzznina]

All families and children are different, so no "one size fits all" fix I can tell you that our DDs would have more fits if we did rope drop every day and in bed by 8. What worked for us is to make sure they get their sleep, so if we are out late the night before then we will let them sleep longer in the morning. We love seeing the parks at night vs the day. For a 9 day stay we usually make every 3rd day a resort day to recharge our batteries, relax, swim etc. The first couple of trips we tried going back to the resort in the middle of the day, but it just did not seem to work for us. Our DDs napped much better in their stroller then they did when we tried to go back to the room. We walk at their pace and if we miss something, oh well. Sit down meals other than character meals does not work for us either, my DDs as well as myself get antsy after 45-60 minutes, so 2 hours is waaay too long I see a lot of parent melt downs because they are always trying to rush to everything, I think people have forgot how to relax. I should know because that use to be me but once I learn to slow down, WDW vacations have been sooooo much nicer You have to see whats fits your family and learn from the stuff that doesn't. We are getting ready for our first family airline trip, so another learning experience for us