Stay at Home Mom vs. Daycare?

[Kahana-ri]

We send DS to a daycare center and he loves it. He is 2.5 and has been with the same children since he was three months old. He learns songs, colors, interaction with other kids, and excellent social skills. Sure, he caught colds and not so friendly childhood virus', but I would rather it happen when he was younger than older.
Personally, I could stay home with my children, I just don't have what it takes. Luckily, my job is extremely flexible so I can work from home when need be and DH is self employed. We both have been able to give our DS the best of both worlds.

 

[noodleknitter]

Nobody stops to wonder where the kids would rather be. The world is moving so fast and kids are little for such a small time. We are all running from place to place. But, that is the world today. I was glad to have the days to take things slowly, read to them, go to the park, and such while my brain was sometimes mushy and I had bouts of boredom. Anyway,

I have this on my bathroom mirror. When I start to drift away my DD8 brings it to me. This is for all mommies, 'cuz they are small for only a blink of an eye.*

"Walk with Me, Mommy."
Listen closely, Mommy, I want you to understand.
And I may need help, Mommy, so could you please take my hand?
Slow down a little Mommy. 'Cause I want to walk with you.
And live a little slower, for I'm watching what you do.
Talk softly to me, Mommy, when you explain to me.
And step a little closer for I'm trying hard to see.
You know I mean it Mommy, when I say "I love you too."
So stand proud and talk now, Mommy, for I'm looking up to you."
-Lynne Wilson


* then they're teenagers! And, that seems to last forever

Actually, I think many people stop and think where the kids would rather be and the answer is a part of the equation. Not the entire equation. If my mom hadn't worked, we would have not have had a home, and food on the table. My grandma watched us until my brother was old enough. Believe it or not, we survived, and have managed not to be traumatized about it.

I'm glad you found the best answer for your family. You obviously had your financial needs being met, and are not the type to care if your brain is mush.

About the time my 8 year old brought me something like that, I'd be reminding him that the world does not revolve around him...

And I love my teens!

 

[katerkat]

Neither of my kids went to daycare but both went to nursery school three afternoons a week once they were about three. They are rarely sick either. Kids are going to get exposed to germs one way or another. I wouldn't worry about that as a decision making factor in the argument for or against daycare.

Heck, my breast-fed-for-13-months, had-mom-at-home child, spent 90% of last winter with a runny nose (mostly teething related, but still icky), has had pinkeye, hand foot and mouth disease that landed him in the ER for an IV, and an ulcer. He's just a kid that catches every germ, apparently!

I always wanted to stay home with my kids, so that's how we planned things. It works fine for our family, especially since my husband deploys so often. However, when we go to my parents' for his next deployment, I'm thinking about getting a job and leaving Russ with my (retired) parents - I do tend to get bored and I want some time away from a toddler....any toddler!

 

[MrsPete]

I can tell you that when my son was in daycare he WAS sick all the time (as an infant).

Whereas, my daughters were literally NEVER sick as infants -- not even a runny nose -- even though they were in daycare. I credit it to the fact that they were both exclusively breastfed.

Kids are individuals. I don't put too much credit in the idea that they'll NEVER get sick, or that they'll be sick CONSTANTLY.

 

[FreshTressa]

Hehe...I guess now we can get into a debate/competition about whose kids have the best immune systems.



I stay home because I like to live slow and spend hours hanging out with my kids, being laid back, snuggling, going to the beach, reading kids books, playing monopoly for hours, taking walks etc. I just got back from lunch with a girlfriend and a stop by the store. I love my life!

I'm pretty sure this laid back lifestyle would drive many women nuts.

I stay home because I can afford it. The amount of income I could generate would not impact my kids lives at all. They already have a nice lifestyle.

I'm sure for lots of families, the kids need the parents to work to provide basic necessities.

We are slow, laid back people and the working, rushing lifestyle is not a good fit for us. I prefer to put together a puzzle, hang out with friends or go to the science center.

Call me lazy if it makes you feel better to do so, but it is just my speed and it makes me happy. I'm happy, my kids are happy and well adjusted. So, judge if you will, but you won't change the way I live.

Just as I won't judge a working parent who needs stimulation and adult interaction to be happy or needs money.

So...figure out which situation would make you happier and go with it!

 

[Soccermom-Cheri]

About the time my 8 year old brought me something like that, I'd be reminding him that the world does not revolve around him...

And I love my teens!

Since you don't know me, you don't know that I tend to get caught up in things ... and DD knows she isn't the center. She doesn't like it but she knows.

As for the teens, I love mine too. It was a joke. Geez.

 

[momof2inPA]

Thanks for everyone's replies about how they make it work with after school activities. My kids' classes and sports mostly seem to practice right after school, so I would have to do some real juggling to make it work if I went back to work full time (which I haven't ruled out). Most of the other moms seem pre-occupied with their own stuff to help out much with my kids, but maybe that's because my kids go to a Catholic school where many of the families are quite large. I don't really want a live-in Nanny, but if DH and I both travelled, that might be the only option-- that and continuing to stay home with the kids.

 

[noodleknitter]

Since you don't know me, you don't know that I tend to get caught up in things ... and DD knows she isn't the center. She doesn't like it but she knows.

As for the teens, I love mine too. It was a joke. Geez.

Sorry, your little poem seemed like an over the top effort at guilt. And no mom needs that.

It is sweet that you have found your pace. That doesn't mean that others need to march to it.

If I misread, and that wasn't your intention, I sincerely apologize.

 

[MELSMICE]

Sorry, your little poem seemed like an over the top effort at guilt. And no mom needs that.

I saw it differently.

I think it is just a reminder to parents that kids grow up way too quickly & to really cherish the time when they are young. We have their entire lives to enjoy them as adult children. Sometimes parents (all parents, not pointing fingers at anyone) forget how quick the time goes by.

My oldest is a senior in high school. I was a SAHM with all 3 of my DD's. I am realizing how precious all those days laying on the floor coloring, playing dolls, making cookies together, etc. really were.

I still make it a point to be here when my DD's get home from school. That has always been very important to me. If I can't be, then DH is.

I think it's great that this thread has remained civil. Everyone has a choice & making it work for each individual family is what's most important.

 

[Soccermom-Cheri]

Nope, no guilting here. I just find that I need a few reminders now and then when I'm frustrated at them. I need to remember that they aren't little adults. I have been incredibly blessed and I just like the little reminder that my kids are watching the example I set.

 

[antkim]

This answer is going to be different for everyone. No of course, putting an infant in daycare is not horrible. You have to find a good one though-either a center or a home. Just because you can afford to stay home, doesn't mean you have to. If you enjoy working and can find good care, then you should still work. It wouldn't hurt to start looking around at centers though. A good infant program can have a long wait list. Also keep in mind that if you want summers off, you might have to pay for your spot or be removed completely.

OMG!!! COMPLETELY off topic BUT....does ANYONE notice that Beth's boys coud be little Ben Affleck's and Matt Damon's??????????????? ADORABLE!!(page #1, post #13)

Now back to the previously scheduled program.............